The Eclipse

[Concrete]

inhaled smoke with hash, my cognizance departs, no longer positively charged
just opposite of sharp, my thoughts shifts to dark, now I'm prone to give scars


blazing haze, amazing rays takes place, hair-raising structures..
invading cravings ushered, making me suffer, craziness ruptures..
gazing trough clusters -celestial blue spheres- facing me, lustful..
a faded lunar is ticking, orbiting a warpath - horrible bloodbaths..
I saw that, in a morbid format, hallucinations causing more wrath..
mental dimness, the devil ain't distant, I surrender with a cringe..
deviating between virtuous and wicked reflections - never in sync..
my clever shrink rendered me to think, why didn't he ever impinge?

daytime's bleary sparkles gleams cautious and turn to eerie darkness..
I can feel the losses, weary and nauseous, seemingly heartless..
the skylight wanes as my shadow-self crawls furtively across the ground..
smoothly moving closer to the compound, somebody's loss is inbound..
as the moon overlays the sunscreen it all diminishes to an obscure scene..
this crude foreplay was unseen, sacrificing the dignity of this pure teen..
the last sliver of sunshine breaks up into a brilliant chain of glorious pearls..
I embraced the nefarious girl..
..her delicate neck..it just snapped(!) ..with a furious swirl..

moving between other worlds.. to close the very gaps of totality..
gloomy scenes of a smothered girl.. seen endlessly in laps of insanity..






"what have I done?" the killer tried to rewind yet he couldn't remind
the crescent entered the center, now the solar comes forth from behind
fresh illumination sheds new light on sight, what dread did they find?
this homicide fulfilled in a total blackout, caused by an eclipse of the mind

[Objective]

Brilliant. Seriously, I enjoyed the fuck out of this. Probably because I really fucking love mental health-themes to begin with. Specifically enjoyed how you used a rich language and a solid rhymescheme to uncover the scene as it played out, and really make the reader understand what is going on in a unique way. Thought it was clever to use the eclipse as a meta for the mind deteriorating from its normal state.

Dope as fuck.

You and Vulgar should do a collabo.

[Smooth]

Yeah this was beautifully written Con, much props.

"moving between other worlds.. to close the very gaps of totality..
gloomy scenes of a smothered girl.. seen endlessly in laps of insanity.."

digging that bar quite a bit man ^

I'll look out for your stuff more often

[Concrete]

Appreciate the feedback guys, thanks.