QUARTERS: (3)Vulgar vs. (R)oats - (VULGAR WINS 5-0)

[PancakeBrah]

The Winter Topical
Vulgar oats

Verse Deadline: 2/2/2014, 11:59 Pacific
Voting Deadline: 2/5/2014, 11:59 Pacific
Line Min/Max: 16/48
Extension/Line Extension by request. Must be agreed to.

Topic
http://i.imgur.com/NclsWs6.jpg

Good luck to both.

[oats]

good luck, my friend. should be a good one with this picture.

[Vulgar]

Good luck, oats.

[Vulgar]

The Ten Commandments were buried under a field of solid pavement
Property of a lost oasis, dug up after repeated provocations
Maintenance instructions were to...
Cleave and rob or raid it, in the name of collegiate consummation
A breathing God is waiting - face emerging from a green intoxication
Passers-by had a choice: Flee the oscillation
or witness a religious war of Theomach's persuasion
He's watching, patient, rumor says he wears an olive fragrance
and the way walks among his kindred, he's destined for inaugurating
Apostles postulate when he'll ponder sonnet making,
Designing a new book of lasting life stratagem for all his patrons
He ran his calloused desert-worn hands through arid tamarisk...
Reminiscing on how widespread the royal Pharaoh's cancer is
His progeny - followers of an ecology, debating the weather
demonstrating to Esther that if the city allowed him, he'd change it forever
through the razing of unproductive temperaments and unsustainable habits
by spreading date bushes through temperate lands - sedating the malice
He wrote a handful of parables before raising his chalice...
"We should be like plants; thrive where we see fit
during the times of Egypt, the wound of isolation widened and deepened
I ascended an abandoned skyscraper with Abaddon's scribed paper
and a Samsonite hourglass in case the sands of time wavered
Don't think of me as a paradigm savior with a clan of rhymesayers
hard work pays bills, but pyramid slaves? Don't romanticize labor
enough of that useless babble; my niche was to rule the vassals
and to make damn sure that Eden's producing apples
if you need some proof, it's ample, do it before rigamortis stiffens
I parted the Red Sea by getting mummies to dig enormous ditches
picked to lord over misfits... kick the corpse of the rich djinn
and use CO2 as the harbinger of this single source of religion
A man came to me late Feb, I said don't aimlessly break bread
The more humane way to take out Ramses' firstborn would've been
to make him watch television, instantly leaving him brain-dead
I've tried assessing pride with a wretch in the asbestos mines
Aleppo's vines were electrified, sterling roots turned red from Petra dye
treading columns of pomegranate trees calmly, I blessed the skies
The Hanging Gardens of Babylon didn't require pesticides
Dear collapsed divisions: the task is written for all to see
The genesis will begin with Akashic reeds, isthmus & gnostic sheathes
Everything in the distance would literally glisten with forestry
Imhotep reappointed as mayor and master builder, ministers quarantined"

Words for the masses from which the Seven Seas would flow
The prophet surveyed the metropolis, and with collective reach in tow,
He gripped his wooden staff and pronounced "Let my people grow..."

[oats]

product of science, history, and all the confinements
of social isolation in his college asylum.
academia believed he was a prophet, a giant
and possible tyrant - an acumen that gave them plenty cause to environ
the stalls of his mind in endless hallways of silence -
his only company: his sunken teeth in all his assignments.
all of the titans he spent his time with, tracing paltry designs
let his knowledge align until he forged a caustic alliance

Oppenheimer, Bartram, and Tesla’s endeavors
shared a pedestal with Lenin, ELF and Nebuchadnezzar
every lesson he attended beckoned general lectures
from Mensa’s resident members and academic professors
his sentiments resembled bits of predecessors he adopted
...if they melted in a pot and reassembled together
deriding industry elitists, plastic/metal defenders
he promised Earth a show it won’t forget - and never remember

a clever agenda, he awoke to the snores of the city’s sleep
no broken window or picked lock could imitate his instant speed
physical limitations - the loophole of modern industry;
the quickest groove to every living room was electricity

buzzing aqueducts, a subtle path he walked to exterminate
the eco-guerilla! wreak and instill a release of this urban weight!
an electrical infected flow of seedlings dispersing fate
till every cubic inch became an ether to germinate

no peace in this stern display - stranglehold carnage
plants multiplied, the city overran by its karma
once the screams evaporated, stood a man and his art:
he turned Babylon to a Promised Land, hanged by its gardens

stacks of apartments cultivated into traps where Venus flies
for on the opposite dock of fear is often where her freedom lies
the machinery of greenery was oiled and fertile -
Now I am become life, destroyer of worlds
the reimbursement of Earth from what humanity purchased;
cuz buildings can only grow when there's cracks in the surface

[Lars]

Fuck!

This was a dope match up, Vulg really stepped it up a notch or three from his last round, this one was far more developed and polished. I hate to be a nitpicking fuckwit but that's honestly how I'm going to have to go about this one, there wasn't really one approach I enjoyed over the other, Vulg pulled me right into his fantasy right up until the 'green intoxication' line, awesome opening, some might not like the three-bar style or broken bar style he used because the line was so long but personally it's not that big a deal.

I loved this line on its own:
hard work pays bills, but pyramid slaves? Don't romanticize labor

I wasn't so keen on the setup to it though, the rhymes just seemed a bit crowbarred in to fit around it rather than it building naturally as the story progressed. Maybe it's just me? I dunno.

I LOL'd at the making him watch television line too, thought it added some dry wit to the piece without being overboard.

This line was dope too:

The Hanging Gardens of Babylon didn't require pesticides

I don't think this was up there with some of your epics, but you were definately bringing it back to the Vulg of old we all loved. Great showing, a marked improvement from last round.

Oats - Again here, a marked improvement from you last round also, I think this take on the topic suited you and played to your strengths allowing you to expound on what you came up with greatly. It wasn't just name-dropping, you have knowledge on the subject and could work that into what you put down, and you did it well again without going too in depth so as to lose the reader or sight of what was going down. I think your character development did a job, even if i didn't find myself caring for the guy enough to find out what happened to him in the aftermath. This read almost like a Day Of the Triffids style piece to me haha! With the plants and forestation taking over, loved this section:

Oppenheimer, Bartram, and Tesla’s endeavors
shared a pedestal with Lenin, ELF and Nebuchadnezzar
every lesson he attended beckoned general lectures
from Mensa’s resident members and academic professors

I thought that was really well penned nearer the beginning.

This was dope also:

once the screams evaporated, stood a man and his art:
he turned Babylon to a Promised Land, hanged by its gardens

It read to me almost like he had grabbed the world by the balls, not sure if that was how you intended it, but for the point you were making - it worked, and worked well.

It arguably started greater than it ended, but then i had the same feeling about Vulgar's here. Both stepped it up, both had negatives to cancel each others out, so going by which take I personally preferred on this one I'm going to hand it to Oats - I just felt I could relate to it a bit more, it was the slightly more quirky storyline and reminded me of Day of the Triffids to an extent which was a leftfield take to approach this, but I'm a stickler for creativity. Oats by a DJFlame facial hair me thinks. Great battle.

[Soulstice]

vulgar - OK the beginning of this verse was interesting to say the least and it was difficult to set a timeline, not that it matter enormously. But in my opinion it is more present day - seeing that the "ten commandments" a symbol for something well get into later - were paved over and treated to a heretical lust for historical knowledge ignore the actual meaning collegiate gauntlet once they were found. The breathing god, the prophet, is reminiscent of other religious figureheads - Moses, Jesus, etc. - and the sheer conviction of the Esther line drove home the feeling of biblical omnipotence. So now enter his parable. The lines of kick the rich djinn were a little out of place I thought of the overall of the speaker's language and the piece as a whole even if it was dialogue. The overall themes of the speech were cool - wealth gap, labor/wages ratio, it also went to a more literal take of the environment towards the end, and of course the piece conclides with a "let my people grow", so in my opinion the ten commandments were sort of a double symbol for literally the environment as well as there actual purpose, harmony among men - there were also facets of religious leaders which wouldve been more appropriate a few years a go but could fit into the theme of leaders a s awhole not getting the point.

Oats - A piece about a brilliant madman fed up with the environment-murdering functions of the world. Interesting, I wish you would've outlined motives a little more, or his thought process a little because I was a little confused about what was happening the first few times. I also was extremely confused about the imagery until I adjusted that it was a total sci-fi invention that I couldn't have connected to without figuring out the piece first. The Oppenheimer reference towards the end was pretty fuckin coo though, once I put everything togethter. And the last line was a clever nod to what I assume to be the Mass-Effect like circularity of the evolution of life on Earth. The buildings will rise again in due time, when some other mad genius might unleash an eco-nightmare and the greenery will rise again. I hope I got it.

V - vulgar
Oats took it mechnanically but after a few serious thoughtful readthroughs I understood Vulgars more, and he packed more content into it as well. I think Oats could've done with a little bit of expansion on the situation, because it was a cool piece with dope flow, but more imagery and introspection into the character would've done wonders, for me at least

[NYCSPITZ]

cool battle, I got vulgar edging it but both pieces were about equally dope imo. DIfferent styles but I felt Vulgar ended emphatically, with a bit more purpose and creativity. Oats you always end on some profound statement shit which is dope but I liked Vulgar's profound statement more this time. Ambiguous, the new age of people not chained by wage slave conditions or even the plant life could've been his people. Oats was dope a crazy prof who uses the electricity infrastructure to destroy shit and cause a new beginning where nature reigns supreme once again. I had this broken down way more but I it looks like everyone else touched on what I was thinking for the most part. I'm pissed neither of you recognized that this was New York City and did a direct story about NYC i'm biased tho. That shit is the chrysler building b. I agree with soul's last line, Oats won mechanics but V had a lil more oomph to me, a deeper analysis of the character could have edged it to Oats. I mean u bring in this dude who is a mad scientist u gotta explain a lil more about that shit b. Mad intrigue, where's the fleshed out character? Anyways A - verses from both and a good match up

[Nigma]

Both steered away from the storytelling aspect of things, in a traditionial way of thinkin anyways. It was more told via a barrage of images, think dense lines one after the other. Vulgar with his seemingly endless diction, painting visuals of cityscape and the lot with an egyptian undertone. Some unique shit that you'd only read in a Vulgar verse.. enormous riches/corpse of a rich djinn.. thats a once in a life time rhyme right there lol. Oats, you leaned closer to the storytelling approach, presented the verse with a flow that rolled off the tongue nicely. I like how you follow up syllables with other syllables that compliment their predecessors well. Your attentiveness to this really gives the verse a nice polish.

Kinda a tough one to judge.. Both went directions I'd never have guessed tbh, I really like Oats closer, felt it was really well thought out, but I'm leaning Vulgar on this one.. When it comes down to these close decisions I look for the verse that had the most to bite from, Vulgar had more substance line in and line out for me. Very nice read from the two of you, this'll be one that's definitely open for interpretation. I'd suspect a very close battle, good luck to you both

+1 Vulgar

[Certain]

I'm on my phone and apologize in advance for brevity. This is the only way I could vote.

Vulgar: This was the verse I expected from you. And it was outstanding, filled with great one-liners along with a very clean thread knotting everything together. The rhymes were good. What stood out was the grittiness in the writer's voice.

oats: The rhyming here was exceptional. That stood up to what Vulgar offered because your schemes were so complex that they cleanly won the battle of mechanics. Your wording is on the top level, too. But I thought your content was a bit shallow. A lot of your references were very ordinary in these types of verses, and there wasn't as much of a statement as with Vulgar's verse.

Vote: Vulgar