zygote
01-30-2014, 09:58 AM
January review for www.netcees.co Open Mic section.
Greetings all members, this is a short effort to highlight and review some of the uploads for January. Uploads were chosen for the short review by just a random cross section along with some individually chosen uploads. Again, like the last review it will follow a copy and paste template and just a sample of perhaps 20 or so will be reviewed. The format is; Username: “Title” URL – date.
Cross section of uploads for January:
Lars : “alcoholics go to meetings. we don't.” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47954 - 01-23-2014
“its partying season; Bacardi and red bull
im starting this evening with lager that's fresh pulled
Ill gargle a neck full, head back to the bar
discard the utensils and grab me a jar
every glass is a large double to down
surpassing the marker; troubles in town”
Short review: This one also contains an open invitation for users to add on to it. The topic is in the title, so go and read it if you enjoy that topic and if you enjoy it you can collaborate by adding something on. The rhymes were accurate and the wording was very natural.
Oxus : “verso pollice” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=48528 - 01-25-2014
“Coming up from the hypogeum,
Drumming thumps in the coliseum
from stamping feet; the fans this week
seek to see a sanguine feast
between Man and beast
that refuse to stand at ease.
It’s here I stand, with these,
Except my stance is peace: hand on sheathe
waiting to untuck my unrivaled, deft, Gladius,
Thought unspent on survival’s extraneous,”
Short review: The language reminded me of Canibus rhyming from the Lyrical Law album, especially the ‘quite cathartic’ part, this is a big compliment as those album lyrics were probably my favorite. The picture that was supposed to go with this upload was a gladiator scene, the action is described but without losing any flavor of the distinct wording.
Vividlyvague : “...or is it I who has penetrated you?” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47892 - 01-23-2014
“Picture this..... black magic-bearing cauldrons,
Krags of scary majins, wary.
Crafted fairies mashed the varied pauldrons
Fastened to the passing ferry monsters.
The power mastered in the passion carried
Fashioned eerie haunters....”
Short review: Some advanced multiple rhyming technique within a fantasy setting. The point of view was from a narrator describing action occurring in some sort of lord of the rings type of universe. Language was used emphasize this world, E.g., the word ‘casters’ and ‘imp’, it was a very interesting theme with short lines and an economy of non-rhyming phrases.
Xanax : “Hit 'em with the flex” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=48500 - 01-25-2014
“Y'all fuckin with a dude without a conscious
If you wanna start shit then we moshin no non sense
Spark fifths till ya heart hit it's my target
like Capitol one what's in your wallet”
Short review: This one was a braggadocio insult upload to a hypothetical opponent, they can be also be called a battle rap. The key here was the use of natural wording that goes together nicely, it would have also been good to see the individual rhyme schemes carried on a bit longer to build more momentum, that is another aspect that contributes to the strength of these things.
Smooth : “Father times modernized broader mind” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=48574 - 01-26-2014
“I'm
father time's
modernized
broader mind
authorized
to turn the
nuclear key
Kamikaze on the rise
in a
suit
and a
tee
drop a bomb
out the sky
on a
troop
in a
jeep
Sock a gook
in the
teeth
Rob the loot
from a
thief
colonize
fallen tribes”
Short review: Interesting format at first I thought it was some kind of technical thing like the number of words in each line made some sort of deliberate pattern, but I quickly realized it was just an aesthetic formatting. Good rhyming technique and Objective was being super helpful in the comments section.
dead man : “star child” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47181 - 01-20-2014
“explosions in the cemetery rock me to sleep
halloween ghost costumes out of hospital sheets
enraptured by the gospel you preach
with Bacardi on your breath, watch my tolerance weaken
how do we proceed? we built a monument close
to Arpeggio notes. you whispered as the melody rose”
Short review: This one seemed to be a bit of a switch up. The emphasis on perfect multiple rhymes was lessened a little bit. One reason why this upload was so interesting is because of the tangential thinking connections, taking two seemingly unrelated themes/concepts and connecting them to make a striking image, it happened a few times throughout to make some memorable thoughts.
Objective : “Perhaps...” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=48612 - 01-26-2014
“Masked intentions bicker to a zany road
ingraved in tones of never answered telephones.
The vast suspension clones these hollow beasts
that feeds on human flesh and common needs.”
Short review: Writing using strong themes of disillusionment and internal identity struggle. Kind of a short submission, but read this one if you enjoy those themes presented within a short allegorical setting.
Scripter “State 0” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=45077 - 01-10-2014
“They wanna diss script
but their disc skipped slipped
and slit writs and necks
next I put them outta existence
from the next nexus”
Short review: A threat-filled attack towards the ‘tagging function’ on the netcees website. Scripter announced his unholy crusade with this monumental ground shattering effort. All the anonymous taggers recoiled in horror as their underhanded tactics were swiftly crushed with this scathing piece of writing. There can surely be no response - “Yeah, this will show them.”
Pancake : “stuff.” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=48112 - 01-23-2014
“The retouched fibrous glow where photoshopped ficus’ grow
vibrant and loud. You should see the light when it snows.
This mitochondria lark. Pictured where fictional Chimeras roam
and phyla abound, mixing neon cloves of thyme with the rose.
Watch the fauna embark.”
Short review: There are some insightful comments that can probably review this better than I can. A good comparison piece, with the appearance of colorful tree branches compared to dendrites under a golgi stain. This one is my favorite from the section of January reviews so far. It was quite short which added a lot of impact, in this case the concise wording gave everything a deliberate feel. It was a good use of thematic language throughout.
Just Write : “i do this shit to express what's real” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=44958 - 01-10-2014
“Fuck a life. Fuck the hurt. Fuck concern. Fuck a wife.
Lately i feel like for me it's more deserving to die.
Cuz at times I get this murderous vibe with every person in sight
And it's reaccurence reassures me that i'm probably right.”
Short review: This one was extremely brooding, Just Write has written similar ones before but this one is the most blunt and straightforward yet. The other ones had some elements of self-doubt and things like that, but this one seemed pretty adamant, was wondering if they written progressively or if they are intended to be connected. Read this one if you like to read an emotional venting in rhyming format.
Mc Hype : “=(” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=46337 - 01-13-2014
“He's alone he's sick , He's been smoking spliffs
While his heart lays on the ground, in broken bits
And although he's pissed, He knows that he won't be missed
She had to make a choice, and she chose to split”
Short review: Extended rhyme scheme kept throughout the whole upload, some other users on here like to use that technique too, here it was pretty direct, just a short excerpt/character vignette about a young lovesick character, thought it was about resilience and foster homes until the ending where the ‘she’ was mentioned. Perhaps the ‘she’ was a mother and the child was very young, it could have also been an adolescent and unrequited love, it wasn’t too clear, but the ambiguity gives it a couple of different interpretations.
namix : " Why Cater to the Valleys?" http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=46518 - 01-16-2014
“Throughout our peaks and valleys, we kept calling it our prime;
But all the evolution we saw in writing was really in our eyes.
So I could get better for you today, but it’d make me worse in time;
Since living for other standards would take sacrificing mine.”
Short review: Excellent upload by our most glorious and most supreme leader namix. Under his most wise and gracious leadership netcees.com has been flourishing above all other competitor websites with no equal and no exception. All dissidents and defectors to other text-based rhyme-emphasis writing forums will be crushed with extreme force. Let 100 flowers bloom and a 100 schools of thought contend. All hail namix.
Genocide : “Maintenance Man: Verses 1-2. BROKEN HEARTS REBEL, GET YOUR FIX HERE!!!” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=46883 - 01-18-2014
“This is crazy intense, I'm still stuck way in my head
Never knew a love like this that would hate me to death
Makes me depressed, thinkin bout her beautiful esssence
Put a hole in my heart that made room for a tenant”
Short review: This one is just a part or a section of fuller concept, perhaps by combining all the 3 separate ones into one single place it would be easier to read and understand. It still works even without the other parts but it perhaps lacks a bit of context here. Also, there’s a funny little non-politically correct exchange in the comments too.
H4ZE : “Forbidden Love” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=46935 - 01-18-2014
“The essence of your beauty, is something I've never seen before
Restless nights spent thinking of you, and its completely wrong
I believed and thought..one day we'd maybe be a couple
Now I realize that we cant...so I lay these words and crumble”
Short review: Read this one if you enjoy the subject matter, it was pretty poignant and well-presented. The wording was really non-intrusive, just secondary to the central idea, which in turn emphasized the main point of the writing. There are no comments so read and if you liked it leave a comment, or comment you have some criticism/feedback too, I am sure the new user will enjoy some interaction on this nice upload.
big baby : “Sorry guise due to recent budget cutbacks the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off until further notice. LOL!!!” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47654 - 01-22-2014
“I’m busking for bananas and a bunch of enchiladas. Trade a hummer for a lama. Yeah you’re funny. You’re my father. My mother is your ma-ma and she’s hungry for lasagna. do a fist raising leg crunch. da big baby’s dead. YUP. Lick tasty chestnuts. Whispering “baby let’s dance.” I’m the Grinch saving X-MAS. All the christmassy best stuff.”
Short review: This was part of a swapped imitation collaboration. I actually wrote this one and big baby uploaded it. Big baby wrote the one uploaded from my username called Battle Rap 7. It was very fun to write, didn’t try to go all out accuracy just get the general tone and go a bit satirical in some parts.
ZYG : “Battle Rap 7” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47666 – 01-22-2014
"My villainous melody. Starts with concealing identity. With mischievous therapy from infamous weaponry
Move an inch - and you’re hell bent.
You’ll get hit with so many leg kicks you’d think the crest of my family tree was related to millipedes
Read Leviticus sentence three, the antithesis section reads: ZYG extraterrestrial centipede with a predator ancestry"
Short review: Second half of the swapped imitation collaboration. It was pretty good, some things I didn’t understand like in terms of sporting/pop culture references. As a whole there were some lines that were just really good. A good caricature of this so-called character/username.
Neighbor : “M.D.M.A. (Most Dangerous Man Alive) volume 1” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47619 - 01-22-2014
“General Tartarus.. I'm a legend that walks the streets
Keep the Heckler in Dhalsim's reach, one swing'll have you pressin on Alt+Delete
Got the metal 'cause talk is cheap.. Atlanta season tickets; you catchin the 'Hawks for free
I'm carryin weapons from Altered Beast like Solid Snake when he rescued the DARPA Chief”
Short review: Reading this is a fun one if you can appreciate the written rhyming technique mixed with aggressive insults. They were also creative and drawn from different sources, some were pop culture based, others ancient history, others recent events, others were in-house jokes, there are a lot of interesting phrases and wording combinations here.
Exis : “This Is For You Girl” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47931 - 01-01-2014
“Should stick to gettin' awarded a trophy on that PS3 dashboard
since it seems you enter tournaments only to swiftly leave with your ass torn
the fuckin' pawn of the moment,
an over glorified homie
without his paws where they 'spose to be whilst enjoyment's the focus”
Short review: This one had some very humorous lines, “then I’m a 12 legged Welsh singer” – it is humorous in its absurdity. Other commenters noted the aggression and that was a good aspect as well. Would have been a bit better if there were more lines, it ended quite abruptly while it felt like it was still building up.
sacrifice : “"Time Now" - Latest track.” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47991 - 01-23-2014
“Distracted with pain, passing in vein,
Or a minor disturbance with words.
Rhyming with urgent concern:
I'm collecting state bread to make head way in this wasteland.
A fate stamped in the plains, no answering faith and,
I stay damned, no belief in a Beast,
only serpents on the surface burning freedom for peace.”
Short review: If you follow the hyperlink at the beginning of the upload it will take you to the song at the website called soundcloud.com. It was a good very recording, you will enjoy listening to this song if you like rapping music. Full lyrics are both at the hyperlink location and in the upload.
Concrete : “The Fiend” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=46909 - 01-18-2014
“is an insidious individual inhabiting nether realms
telling itself to repel the pain but it never helps
this freak played it smooth, high school was hella cool
yet soon the mellow groove developed to a feral ghoul”
Short review: Concrete is a good writer, this user has uploaded some really good things like a big story about transhumanism, this upload seemed a little less ambitious in scope, but it was still really cool. Themes of alienation, could be read simply as a story about a “Fiend”/monster or it could stand as a metaphor with the ‘Fiend’ representing anything your mind attaches to it. It would be nice to see more uploads by this user.
Ending comment/Overall review.
Just doing these reviews a bit early rather than 2 weeks later like the last two ones. Probably going to have some dodgy internet coverage, so seeking any assistance for next month’s set of reviews. Individuals seem to like the monthly format judging by the positive comments in each review page, so if you want to do the next month of short reviews, go ahead 100%. There are many new users to the OM section which is great, best way to interact is by commenting on other peoples uploads whether positive or constructive. All the best.
Greetings all members, this is a short effort to highlight and review some of the uploads for January. Uploads were chosen for the short review by just a random cross section along with some individually chosen uploads. Again, like the last review it will follow a copy and paste template and just a sample of perhaps 20 or so will be reviewed. The format is; Username: “Title” URL – date.
Cross section of uploads for January:
Lars : “alcoholics go to meetings. we don't.” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47954 - 01-23-2014
“its partying season; Bacardi and red bull
im starting this evening with lager that's fresh pulled
Ill gargle a neck full, head back to the bar
discard the utensils and grab me a jar
every glass is a large double to down
surpassing the marker; troubles in town”
Short review: This one also contains an open invitation for users to add on to it. The topic is in the title, so go and read it if you enjoy that topic and if you enjoy it you can collaborate by adding something on. The rhymes were accurate and the wording was very natural.
Oxus : “verso pollice” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=48528 - 01-25-2014
“Coming up from the hypogeum,
Drumming thumps in the coliseum
from stamping feet; the fans this week
seek to see a sanguine feast
between Man and beast
that refuse to stand at ease.
It’s here I stand, with these,
Except my stance is peace: hand on sheathe
waiting to untuck my unrivaled, deft, Gladius,
Thought unspent on survival’s extraneous,”
Short review: The language reminded me of Canibus rhyming from the Lyrical Law album, especially the ‘quite cathartic’ part, this is a big compliment as those album lyrics were probably my favorite. The picture that was supposed to go with this upload was a gladiator scene, the action is described but without losing any flavor of the distinct wording.
Vividlyvague : “...or is it I who has penetrated you?” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47892 - 01-23-2014
“Picture this..... black magic-bearing cauldrons,
Krags of scary majins, wary.
Crafted fairies mashed the varied pauldrons
Fastened to the passing ferry monsters.
The power mastered in the passion carried
Fashioned eerie haunters....”
Short review: Some advanced multiple rhyming technique within a fantasy setting. The point of view was from a narrator describing action occurring in some sort of lord of the rings type of universe. Language was used emphasize this world, E.g., the word ‘casters’ and ‘imp’, it was a very interesting theme with short lines and an economy of non-rhyming phrases.
Xanax : “Hit 'em with the flex” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=48500 - 01-25-2014
“Y'all fuckin with a dude without a conscious
If you wanna start shit then we moshin no non sense
Spark fifths till ya heart hit it's my target
like Capitol one what's in your wallet”
Short review: This one was a braggadocio insult upload to a hypothetical opponent, they can be also be called a battle rap. The key here was the use of natural wording that goes together nicely, it would have also been good to see the individual rhyme schemes carried on a bit longer to build more momentum, that is another aspect that contributes to the strength of these things.
Smooth : “Father times modernized broader mind” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=48574 - 01-26-2014
“I'm
father time's
modernized
broader mind
authorized
to turn the
nuclear key
Kamikaze on the rise
in a
suit
and a
tee
drop a bomb
out the sky
on a
troop
in a
jeep
Sock a gook
in the
teeth
Rob the loot
from a
thief
colonize
fallen tribes”
Short review: Interesting format at first I thought it was some kind of technical thing like the number of words in each line made some sort of deliberate pattern, but I quickly realized it was just an aesthetic formatting. Good rhyming technique and Objective was being super helpful in the comments section.
dead man : “star child” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47181 - 01-20-2014
“explosions in the cemetery rock me to sleep
halloween ghost costumes out of hospital sheets
enraptured by the gospel you preach
with Bacardi on your breath, watch my tolerance weaken
how do we proceed? we built a monument close
to Arpeggio notes. you whispered as the melody rose”
Short review: This one seemed to be a bit of a switch up. The emphasis on perfect multiple rhymes was lessened a little bit. One reason why this upload was so interesting is because of the tangential thinking connections, taking two seemingly unrelated themes/concepts and connecting them to make a striking image, it happened a few times throughout to make some memorable thoughts.
Objective : “Perhaps...” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=48612 - 01-26-2014
“Masked intentions bicker to a zany road
ingraved in tones of never answered telephones.
The vast suspension clones these hollow beasts
that feeds on human flesh and common needs.”
Short review: Writing using strong themes of disillusionment and internal identity struggle. Kind of a short submission, but read this one if you enjoy those themes presented within a short allegorical setting.
Scripter “State 0” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=45077 - 01-10-2014
“They wanna diss script
but their disc skipped slipped
and slit writs and necks
next I put them outta existence
from the next nexus”
Short review: A threat-filled attack towards the ‘tagging function’ on the netcees website. Scripter announced his unholy crusade with this monumental ground shattering effort. All the anonymous taggers recoiled in horror as their underhanded tactics were swiftly crushed with this scathing piece of writing. There can surely be no response - “Yeah, this will show them.”
Pancake : “stuff.” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=48112 - 01-23-2014
“The retouched fibrous glow where photoshopped ficus’ grow
vibrant and loud. You should see the light when it snows.
This mitochondria lark. Pictured where fictional Chimeras roam
and phyla abound, mixing neon cloves of thyme with the rose.
Watch the fauna embark.”
Short review: There are some insightful comments that can probably review this better than I can. A good comparison piece, with the appearance of colorful tree branches compared to dendrites under a golgi stain. This one is my favorite from the section of January reviews so far. It was quite short which added a lot of impact, in this case the concise wording gave everything a deliberate feel. It was a good use of thematic language throughout.
Just Write : “i do this shit to express what's real” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=44958 - 01-10-2014
“Fuck a life. Fuck the hurt. Fuck concern. Fuck a wife.
Lately i feel like for me it's more deserving to die.
Cuz at times I get this murderous vibe with every person in sight
And it's reaccurence reassures me that i'm probably right.”
Short review: This one was extremely brooding, Just Write has written similar ones before but this one is the most blunt and straightforward yet. The other ones had some elements of self-doubt and things like that, but this one seemed pretty adamant, was wondering if they written progressively or if they are intended to be connected. Read this one if you like to read an emotional venting in rhyming format.
Mc Hype : “=(” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=46337 - 01-13-2014
“He's alone he's sick , He's been smoking spliffs
While his heart lays on the ground, in broken bits
And although he's pissed, He knows that he won't be missed
She had to make a choice, and she chose to split”
Short review: Extended rhyme scheme kept throughout the whole upload, some other users on here like to use that technique too, here it was pretty direct, just a short excerpt/character vignette about a young lovesick character, thought it was about resilience and foster homes until the ending where the ‘she’ was mentioned. Perhaps the ‘she’ was a mother and the child was very young, it could have also been an adolescent and unrequited love, it wasn’t too clear, but the ambiguity gives it a couple of different interpretations.
namix : " Why Cater to the Valleys?" http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=46518 - 01-16-2014
“Throughout our peaks and valleys, we kept calling it our prime;
But all the evolution we saw in writing was really in our eyes.
So I could get better for you today, but it’d make me worse in time;
Since living for other standards would take sacrificing mine.”
Short review: Excellent upload by our most glorious and most supreme leader namix. Under his most wise and gracious leadership netcees.com has been flourishing above all other competitor websites with no equal and no exception. All dissidents and defectors to other text-based rhyme-emphasis writing forums will be crushed with extreme force. Let 100 flowers bloom and a 100 schools of thought contend. All hail namix.
Genocide : “Maintenance Man: Verses 1-2. BROKEN HEARTS REBEL, GET YOUR FIX HERE!!!” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=46883 - 01-18-2014
“This is crazy intense, I'm still stuck way in my head
Never knew a love like this that would hate me to death
Makes me depressed, thinkin bout her beautiful esssence
Put a hole in my heart that made room for a tenant”
Short review: This one is just a part or a section of fuller concept, perhaps by combining all the 3 separate ones into one single place it would be easier to read and understand. It still works even without the other parts but it perhaps lacks a bit of context here. Also, there’s a funny little non-politically correct exchange in the comments too.
H4ZE : “Forbidden Love” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=46935 - 01-18-2014
“The essence of your beauty, is something I've never seen before
Restless nights spent thinking of you, and its completely wrong
I believed and thought..one day we'd maybe be a couple
Now I realize that we cant...so I lay these words and crumble”
Short review: Read this one if you enjoy the subject matter, it was pretty poignant and well-presented. The wording was really non-intrusive, just secondary to the central idea, which in turn emphasized the main point of the writing. There are no comments so read and if you liked it leave a comment, or comment you have some criticism/feedback too, I am sure the new user will enjoy some interaction on this nice upload.
big baby : “Sorry guise due to recent budget cutbacks the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off until further notice. LOL!!!” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47654 - 01-22-2014
“I’m busking for bananas and a bunch of enchiladas. Trade a hummer for a lama. Yeah you’re funny. You’re my father. My mother is your ma-ma and she’s hungry for lasagna. do a fist raising leg crunch. da big baby’s dead. YUP. Lick tasty chestnuts. Whispering “baby let’s dance.” I’m the Grinch saving X-MAS. All the christmassy best stuff.”
Short review: This was part of a swapped imitation collaboration. I actually wrote this one and big baby uploaded it. Big baby wrote the one uploaded from my username called Battle Rap 7. It was very fun to write, didn’t try to go all out accuracy just get the general tone and go a bit satirical in some parts.
ZYG : “Battle Rap 7” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47666 – 01-22-2014
"My villainous melody. Starts with concealing identity. With mischievous therapy from infamous weaponry
Move an inch - and you’re hell bent.
You’ll get hit with so many leg kicks you’d think the crest of my family tree was related to millipedes
Read Leviticus sentence three, the antithesis section reads: ZYG extraterrestrial centipede with a predator ancestry"
Short review: Second half of the swapped imitation collaboration. It was pretty good, some things I didn’t understand like in terms of sporting/pop culture references. As a whole there were some lines that were just really good. A good caricature of this so-called character/username.
Neighbor : “M.D.M.A. (Most Dangerous Man Alive) volume 1” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47619 - 01-22-2014
“General Tartarus.. I'm a legend that walks the streets
Keep the Heckler in Dhalsim's reach, one swing'll have you pressin on Alt+Delete
Got the metal 'cause talk is cheap.. Atlanta season tickets; you catchin the 'Hawks for free
I'm carryin weapons from Altered Beast like Solid Snake when he rescued the DARPA Chief”
Short review: Reading this is a fun one if you can appreciate the written rhyming technique mixed with aggressive insults. They were also creative and drawn from different sources, some were pop culture based, others ancient history, others recent events, others were in-house jokes, there are a lot of interesting phrases and wording combinations here.
Exis : “This Is For You Girl” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47931 - 01-01-2014
“Should stick to gettin' awarded a trophy on that PS3 dashboard
since it seems you enter tournaments only to swiftly leave with your ass torn
the fuckin' pawn of the moment,
an over glorified homie
without his paws where they 'spose to be whilst enjoyment's the focus”
Short review: This one had some very humorous lines, “then I’m a 12 legged Welsh singer” – it is humorous in its absurdity. Other commenters noted the aggression and that was a good aspect as well. Would have been a bit better if there were more lines, it ended quite abruptly while it felt like it was still building up.
sacrifice : “"Time Now" - Latest track.” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=47991 - 01-23-2014
“Distracted with pain, passing in vein,
Or a minor disturbance with words.
Rhyming with urgent concern:
I'm collecting state bread to make head way in this wasteland.
A fate stamped in the plains, no answering faith and,
I stay damned, no belief in a Beast,
only serpents on the surface burning freedom for peace.”
Short review: If you follow the hyperlink at the beginning of the upload it will take you to the song at the website called soundcloud.com. It was a good very recording, you will enjoy listening to this song if you like rapping music. Full lyrics are both at the hyperlink location and in the upload.
Concrete : “The Fiend” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=46909 - 01-18-2014
“is an insidious individual inhabiting nether realms
telling itself to repel the pain but it never helps
this freak played it smooth, high school was hella cool
yet soon the mellow groove developed to a feral ghoul”
Short review: Concrete is a good writer, this user has uploaded some really good things like a big story about transhumanism, this upload seemed a little less ambitious in scope, but it was still really cool. Themes of alienation, could be read simply as a story about a “Fiend”/monster or it could stand as a metaphor with the ‘Fiend’ representing anything your mind attaches to it. It would be nice to see more uploads by this user.
Ending comment/Overall review.
Just doing these reviews a bit early rather than 2 weeks later like the last two ones. Probably going to have some dodgy internet coverage, so seeking any assistance for next month’s set of reviews. Individuals seem to like the monthly format judging by the positive comments in each review page, so if you want to do the next month of short reviews, go ahead 100%. There are many new users to the OM section which is great, best way to interact is by commenting on other peoples uploads whether positive or constructive. All the best.