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Concrete
02-13-2014, 09:45 AM
Part 1: Pandemonium

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/38/Pandemonium.jpg/220px-Pandemonium.jpg

without any warning the faint noobs emerged
truly worthless crude worms tainting the pure earth
we must instigate the purge, precipitate a rebirth
felicitate our leaders
what a novelty tale of loyalty & betrayal
the holy grail overflowed from all souls overthrown
overall, overlords holds the throne over all
oh behold, a legion of ludicrous losers on a warpath
a disturbance in the force was forecast
witnessing all that shiny and fictitious bling
glistening under the moonlight is a spooky sight
we detect them within grim and gloomy nights
a band of dabblers and dilettantes, riding together for the creed, attacking
in a wave of bloody teenage faces, breaking out from the red sea of Acne
meagerly rapping, moaning and groaning
chinless creatures chased by their own shadows, squealing in the mist
deceived by whispers, twisted dream eclipsers, seal them with a diss
acknowledged trash-talk rap-lords stands back all appalled
as the lyrical assault from false cults descends
stemming from a living hell, reppin' to the bitter end
situation critical, luckily the citadel have sentinel MCs that can spit again
war of words at it's pinnacle, the battlearena scenery is splendid
relentless, the hellbent pretenders definitely surrenders
only one chapter, bones fracture as we own and capture
maintain high positions like cold stoned statues
all captured is suffering, from severe inability
the remaining intruders is ushered to a nearby facility
for medical tests, is it ethical? yes
we may take a tenable guess
that the examiners might find a cure against this terrible pest



Part 2: Outbreak

http://esparrela.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/esparrela.jpg%3Fw%3D640

crushed, crunched, the corrupted
was rushed to custody for abduction
post-ruckus, we succumbed to justice
sub-par reluctance busted by pure substance
subsequently captured noobs stand accused
of grand crimes against mankind
bad lines intertwined, bland rhymes designed
damned lies to be completely honest
inadequate artists found guilty on all charges
no pardons, incarceration regardless
conducted to complex Newbie
secured in cubicle Rookie
labeled "suitable pupil"
recommended "crucial schooling"
anticipated "useable sooner"
suddenly one unusual ruler
hailing the Ascended Crew
yelled Attention NOOBS!!
I felt impending doom lacking comprehension
trapped in pretension, shackled by apprehension
attention rearranged, replaced in a mental cage
where derangement shaped the restraining
wires and lines confiding the mind
the great divide between The Primes and deprived
this trial was previously processed
my context a perceivable prospect
the feeble novice being reprocessed
as test subject for feasible concepts
they graced phrases right in front of our faces
as if displaying
the very bars separating us from greatness
on that basis
fellow noobs broke down and shed tears
some betrayed their brethren
biting hands that fed them
I dreaded, deterioration eternally
certainly
I needed to learn this shit internally
before returning it to latitude
liberating this ordeal of outclassed outcasts
relieve all doubt as: inability to express poetry
notably, this condition had sorely broken me
I spoke freely to myself
obliged to absolve wackness
how can I resolve the patterns and evolve as a rapper?
bashing my brain against the barricade until blood splattered
I asked myself what the hell is the matter?
matter of fact every factor is the matter
so fuck what matters
fuck rankings and procrastination
fuck endless quests for validation
fuck rudely entitled biters
fuck pseudo enlightened writers
fuck the weak slack, fuck the feedback
I don't need that, just fucking relax
and express how I feel rap
I truly believed that, as transparence dawned upon
transcending my character back to the drawing board
fragments of humanity gradually restored to norm
as I picked up the pen again my brain began to chain arrays
paving a way, retracing their trail
recognizing the reason they failed
oh, my demised friends - I cried for them
and firmly declared: The Noobs shall rise again!

Frank
02-13-2014, 12:32 PM
The red sea of acne

Good shit newb

Concrete
02-14-2014, 02:35 AM
lol thanks.

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?p=273849#post273849
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?p=273846#post273846

Aesthetic
02-14-2014, 02:48 AM
I like the first one a lot more than the next. At first I was like; im not reading this, no way; then I decided to read it god knows why. I enjoyed it. Cant believed your rapped about noobs as the subject matter. You got spunk.

In all honesty I wasn't in the mood to read the 2nd part. Just skimmed over it and ended jumping like 12 bars lol.


meagerly rapping, moaning and groaning
chinless creatures chased by their own shadows, squealing in the mist
deceived by whispers, twisted dream eclipsers, seal them with a diss

Made me laugh idk why, it was pretty groovy.

acknowledged trash-talk rap-lords stands back all appalled
as the lyrical assault from false cults descends
stemming from a living hell, reppin' to the bitter end

Your use of the word cult's offends my intelligence. Im super lost, what does fals cult's descending lyrics have to do with your climax? Just felt real oughta place. This happens a few times throughout your piece I noticed..



YO DELTRON 3030 IS MY FUCKING SHIT HOW THE FUCK HE AINT FAMOUS RIGHT!? I cant seem to find the fucking music video where hes like in a spaceship or someshit covered in some alien electronics wildin the fuck out. Driving me yonkers..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNDcEaC1xkg

brings back good memories this video got me freaking out. Black kids peels his skin and is white lolwtf

Concrete
02-23-2014, 11:10 AM
Yeah.

Hush
02-23-2014, 11:17 AM
It was hard to read for me
Overly articulate to the point it was cumbersome


Wayy too Shakespearean for my personal taste


Loved the overlord scheme tho


Never made it to the second verse tbh