DEAD MAN - OXYGEN BLUES

[dead man]

inhale


try to repent or die where you rest. writing for stress
cyanide vitamin X - Mr. Myers presents: macabre microchip sense
five of them, yes - taste the silence of death
touch pollutants. tight grip around Osiris's breath
how can it hurt when you don't even have a life to regret?
strove to catch a break and caught a virus instead
is circumstance or instinct why we strive for success,
we buy to possess. which price is the best? excitement or sex?
acrylic surface canvassing inside of my chest
framework force-fucked by impact like a bicycle wreck
nag champa incense, psycho, dyslexic, wives to dissect
lying in beds. white sheets stained with their myelin in shreds
lighting the cess, copa cabana, island events
nitrogen dipped white owls, high powered, hydrogen vents
hybrid of flesh, soda cans, bronchitis and strep
lighters to flick, connections to make, vaginas to wet
migrant dimensional, we're here for now, the cycle is set
psychic ascents to higher frequencies. Disciple the dense,
Blacketh the blind, Gawdian grandiose, entitled to flex
He who died for false enlightenment and tried to repent.


exhale

[PancakeBrah]

what do you think about white people who tattoo themselves as JR Smith does?


really tight rhymes, btw.

[CopyPat]

This is sick man. Never seen u before but i'm feelin this. Were u on netcees aswell??

i'm guessing that keeping one rhyme for a whole verse isn't your "normal" style?? this was impressive but does get a little old if this is how u always drop. but seemed like it was done this one time on purpose so well done i liked it.

try to repent or die where you rest. writing for stress
cyanide vitamin X - Mr. Myers presents: macabre microchip sense

^that opener was flames, probly my fav part of the whole thing. super dope, got me hooked right in

only criticism i would have is that yes the flow was redunk and there was some substance to it but by the end it almost felt like u were slaving to the scheme rather than actually just saying what u wanted to. like there wasn't really sentences but just nouns and adjectives of rhyming words like:

lying in beds. white sheets stained with their myelin in shreds
lighting the cess, copa cabana, island events
nitrogen dipped white owls, high powered, hydrogen vents
hybrid of flesh, soda cans, bronchitis and strep
lighters to flick, connections to make, vaginas to wet
migrant dimensional, we're here for now, the cycle is set
psychic ascents to higher frequencies. Disciple the dense,
Blacketh the blind, Gawdian grandiose, entitled to flex

Feel me??? would rather see you form a thought or finish a real sentence AND still keep the dope flow/scheming .

Anyways absolutely zero hate for you man. just droppin some hopefully constructive feed for ya cause honestly i really dug this flow and i like ur style alot, rhyme wise and i can tell u have talent so ur shit will be super dope if u put ur mind to it. really lookin forward to more drops from ya. check out my piece called too legit if u got a chance i could use some feeds. stay up man i'll be lookin out for ur stuff for sure

[dead man]

no copypat i was not on netcees, this is my first crack at this 'scrypt' thing i think its called.

thank you for your advice and i will use it to perhaps one day escape these shackles of scheme slavery.

pancake, i think that regardless of their ethnicity they're spending tens of thousands of dollars on vanity they will regret when they are sagging and see-through

[Lars]

Waddup my Myrmidon fwend?

[dead man]

aint shit. coffee and oatmeal. what it do EL_LARZ? feelin good brother?

[Vulgar]

acrylic surface canvassing inside of my chest
framework force-fucked by impact like a bicycle wreck
nag champa incense, psycho, dyslexic, wives to dissect
lying in beds. white sheets stained with their myelin in shreds
lighting the cess, copa cabana, island events
nitrogen dipped white owls, high powered, hydrogen vents
^Lava lamp ether.

There were some inspiring slivers of Slovenian fluid to garner from it, and I had the sudden urge to watch female Russian nuclear phycisists undress in a seldomly lit chamber somewhere on the coast of Tasmania. Thanks for pennin' this, paradigm Pete.

[Plot]

This is awesome.

[Zombie]

Tasting the silence of death.

[dead man]

you're awesome!

[zygote]

Enjoying the strong one liners, they are complete thoughts expressed succinctly. To be artistic you could call it almost a minimalist style. E.g., "we buy to possess" + "touch pollutants." Only thing did not understand was the word Gawdian, even put it to google search but could not find it, I'm guessing it is your personal reference. You have monopoly on these types of psych-flex writings, they are always great to read because of the vocabulary and rhyme schemes.

[Just Write]

man this was legit dude. you're style is very unique, you pack a big punch in every line and what like about your verses is that you don't need a lot of filler words to make a powerful yet coherent piece. truly enjoyed this man. and thanks again for peepin my drop.

[Split]

i really liked the opening concepts of this verse. very dark. I think it is interesting, when people stop writing league verses but stay motivated to keep writing (or pretend) their style kinda rebounds back to the baseline. but it also changes a little bit every time. as i think ive said before i think its cool how you address people in your writing. good job using clunky words seamlessly in tight clauses. keep writing Dead Man










one day i will copy ur style so completely you combust into purple little flames

[dead man]

I think it is interesting, when people stop writing league verses but stay motivated to keep writing (or pretend) their style kinda rebounds back to the baseline.
i think you make a great point here.. and a valid one. its definitely a different experience as far as the thought process when there's nothing specific in the crosshairs.

stay up, keep dropping bro

1

[fathead]

I Think This Is An Awesome Piece It Seemed 2 Me The Wording And Flow Are perfect Especially In The First Few lines.


try to repent or die where you rest. writing for stress
cyanide vitamin X - Mr. Myers presents: macabre microchip sense
five of them, yes - taste the silence of death
touch pollutants. tight grip around Osiris's breath

Then You Got More Serious Content Without Sacrificing Your flow

how can it hurt when you don't even have a life to regret?
strove to catch a break and caught Perfecta virus instead
is circumstance or instinct why we strive for success,
we buy to possess. which price is the best? excitement or sex?
acrylic surface canvassing inside of my Chest?

Overall I Thought It Was Good Kept A Good Flow The Whole Way Through, Showcased Your Vocabulary, And Mentioned SocIetys Issue Of Materalism.

[Zen]

I thought I fed this but I was mistaken. So now I, Buddha, shall bless this with my presence and grace it with feed.
This is vintage dead man. Raw lyrics, that's literally the only way I can think to describe it. Just RAW. I would say that I wished I could write like you, but that wouldn't be very Buddha of me now would it? But on the real another great piece dead. I just wish you'd join the league again or drop a fuckin 60 liner OM piece because you're one of the few people on here that I'd read the entire 60 lines and not be bored and would still wish it was longer lol. Keep it up dead.

[Nigma]

Hello dead man. This piece, to me, showed some versatility in your writing. You're consistent in giving the reader a wow-factor, however whats truly noteworthy is how you do so in different ways. I enjoyed the strict rhyme scheme. I could relate to the process of maintaining a single set of multies because I did so in the last verse I wrote. It's an enjoyable change and it allows you to write at a different perspective. Anyways, excellent piece my friend

[Geno]

<3

[Zombie]

sounds like black D. i like black d