The hunt

[Inno]

The Hunter

Searching, moving swift thru the green leafs…I sense a heart beat
Ready to pounce, I lay low and wait patiently…for his essence ill eat
It shows itself not knowing Im near…im death coming for him quick
My claws will savor its sweet blood… testing it, preparing it for my lips
My teeth will serve me, picking n ripping thru organs and flesh
I move slowely…closely approaching my prey n I can smell my dish

Seeing an opening he turns my way…as if he knows im there
No matter I stay on my path, knowing his end is so very near
I JUMP! from the bushes, he RUNS! I give chase try and keep pace
He knows death is chasin so he runs faster…I chase harder making it a race
Losing strength in sweat my foreheads a cost…So close I see the glare set eyes
Jump on his chest…sink wounds through flesh set mood soon for demise



The hunted

(panting) im out of air…to escape I tried my best
What provoked this attack that shall lead to my imminent death?
As I lay, with the feeling of sharp teeth gnawing my flesh
Knowing at any second now…ill be inhaling my last breath
My skin rips & the blood drips…along with it, questions with no replies
I look off deep into the bush notice my offspring’s terrified eyes

My vision fades but the pain stains, I now know there will be no escape
The venomous attacker, this jacker will be thorough till off my bones,
the last of my meat is scraped
Thru the last faint strain of my optics I see that his paw is raised
The bashing of my skull with his last thrust will signal the end of my days



The Witness

The screaming where does it come from? In a flash the predator gave chase
It was a mile long sprint for survival..it appeared but feet from the striking base
Another howl of terror as offspring run without cause without realizing an instinct
With razor teeth, one claw held the prey still…while the other kills with ease n sync
My spine began to shutter as I began to think…what if this was me?
Then I payed the horror no mind..put it behind nibbling grass from this tree

In the distance I am to witness the cycle of life as I gnaw on grass blades
If only my voice reached the prey…but I stay on the cool side of the shade
Glance over see the prey lift its head…so I pray to blind him from impending gore
Minding my own business predicting what was in store? ...i had to ignore

[Zen]

I'm assuming this was the verse that was no showed this week? A damn shame really. Great piece. It reminds me of the verse you dropped against Mike Wrecka I think which is one of my favorite drops in the league all season. You've got your mojo back!! Haha dope piece though forreal Inno. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. Some of the lines were more stretched than I usually like (I think the short bar works best for you) but all in all I can't find many complaints except for maybe up your vocabulary a little bit. Nice drop man.

[Inno]

thank you sir..up..will RTF!!!!

[Split]

feed edited here

[Angkor]

my dude FAT!

You know what i think u should do? incorporate your poetry into topicals. I remember reading a couple of ur poetry league pieces over at RIA and thought - yo, this dude's no joke. You always have some very great lines when writing a poem and i think if u can transfer that same sensibility to topic, you can be beastly.

anyway, back to the piece...

haha...u know i'm a huge Animal Planet fan and this reminds me of those documentary on lions and leopards lol. So off the bat i had to read the shit lol...plus you wrote it so gotta support my brotha. Lets see...First two lines read weird (rhythmically). If i can critique one thing about ur writing (topically speaking) it's that you have a very abrasive rhythm about it. In these realm of writing, i feel, the rhythmic pattern must be very concise because there is no beat to stress words and syllables on, so my personal suggestion is to either use more inners, multies or other rhyming techniques to make for a smoother read. But honestly all that shit comes with time and experience - ur continuous output (both on open mic and the league) will most likely allow u to pick up some things along the way so i'm not too worry about it.

As far as content goes, i really dug this man. I think the obvious commentary here was on the apathy and disregard in society. The interesting dynamic of this piece is that as ugly and negative a connotation as those (apathy and disregard) qualities are, it's somewhat crucial to survival. Best demonstrated in that last verse when we see it from the perspective of a witness, we see a sort of instinct for preservation kicks in as it remain inconspicuous and even continue grazing while this whole episode is going on. To be heroic would mean possible death, so as a result it opted for the safer route. It's an attitude adopted in the modern society on more than a few occasions. I remember seeing a video where a guy was attacking some dude in broad daylight AND in a crowded vicinity yet nobody stepped in to help. On one hand, it's fucked up...but on the other hand, one can simply say that our basic survival instincts kicked in. Always a complex and delicate situation and this piece explored it using a very appropriate metaphor. Strip us of all our advancements and we're no different than wild animals of the plain.

One particular point in the story stuck with me. the part where the witness imagined itself being the victim lol. Though apathetic, there was a hint of empathy which further go into a kind of conflict between basic instinct and modern code of ethic.

overall, good shit, FAT. I'll keep a look out for more of your stuff. 1.

[Inno]

my nigga nooooorth!!..you need to get active

also.

thanks for the feed my nigga..i always appreciate your feed brah..and..ive been trying to to do that(poetry into my topics) but its a bit challanging
as im not one of the better writers lol...but im getting there. thanks again for your time man.

anyone else i will RTF