AOWL Week 9: King Keith (4-2) vs. Objective (2-2) [KING KEITH WINS, 7-2.]

[Split]

16 lines minimum, 48 lines maximum. (if agreed upon by both participants, you may go beyond the limit at your own risk.)

Verses are due SATURDAY 4/13 at 11:59 PST.
Extensions are due SUNDAY 4/14 at 11:59 PST.
(There is a 6 hour grace period following the end of the extension deadline. If you fail to post anything by the end of the grace period time, you will be given the no show loss.)

You must vote on at least 4 other battles and post links in the Voting Thread. For every absent vote, you will be deducted ONE vote next week.

Voting ends TUESDAY 4/16 at 11:59 PST. (Unless otherwise it may be extended another day at the most.)

You MUST check in.

If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.

NOTE
Swaying, excessive freeposting, voter fraud etc. are grounds for vote deductions at discretion of the moderators.
Editing your verse after the grace period, after your opponent posts, or after the first vote (especially this)- as well as biting- are grounds for disqualification at discretion of the moderators.

TOPIC: THIS IS A SPLIT TOPIC. One will write a verse supporting an idea, and the other will write a verse supporting an opposing idea.

King Keith -Underground
Objective -mainstream

Good luck to both participants.

[King Ra.]

Check'em. Good luck, homie.

[Objective]

Check. Good luck to you too. ^^

Votes:
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=5594
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=5590
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=5596

[Objective]

(This should be an easy win..)

Humans are thinkers so let's reflect what defines
the music that gathers people and connect our minds.
Commercial music is beautifully intersected by large groups
when they get together like anarachists during government coups.
Can it be narrowed down to a concept? A project to observe
how we support something huge like a nature reserve?
If music is just an idea I'd like to know who coined the term.
It's a firm belief that commercial music is resistant to learn.
You see, its mission discern to a vision of human behavior,
a state of mind where the people you know can be the savior.
But beats and its feats makes a rehearsal and use it,
and millions of fans is what creates commercial music.
A universal understanding of what's great and what isn't,
as people outside see the underground as a prison.
When inmates gets released it's hard to conform,
when the beast reach society it's just a part of the norm.
In the eye of the storm it might seem stupid and bland,
even you are blinded enough to say you were an original fan..

[King Ra.]

The UNDERground Theory.


You can't enjoy the abundance of life just scratching
the surface,
that's like expecting the coming of Christ as taught
from blasphemous churches.
Yes, from the darkness came the light,
no joking around.
The deepest secrets known to man have always come
forth.... from underground.


Ready for today's lesson?


underground [adv.; uhn-der-ground; adj., n., v.]

adverb
1. beneath the surface of the ground.


You see the very ground you walk on is known as the Earth's spherical shell.
But the what we're interested in is what lies beneath- in various religions known as physical/spiritual hell.
Forgive me for being biblical, you've heard the stories- typical, mythical.
The theories upon theories, tipping visual scales.
On a critical note, science says the core is the center, full of magma, HOT!
I only ponder if that's the reason we've never heard another word from Fraggle Rock.
Where the lava snaps, crackles, pops; the depths give birth to volcanic tops,
powerful earthquakes with aftershocks. Causing chaos & economic drops-


....... underground, just pass the rocks.


adjective
1. existing, situated, operating, or taking place beneath the surface of the ground.


Welcome to the network of secret routes & safe houses which
lead to freedom,
every African's dream to escape bondage started with one who
seeked to free them.
The actions of a woman & many others who sought to end the
slavery & tyranny,
with bravery, no fear you see. To reach the promised land, a kingdom
like Eden.
Look, this wasn't necessarily operating underground,
it's a figurative expression,
to describe a historical procession of those escaping oppression,
the essence of a powerful message.
Just picture Tubman's aggression, even she knew the importance
of keeping things a secret,
below the surface where all eyes can't perceive-


....... 'less one looks beneath it.


noun
1. a secret organization fighting the established government or occupation forces.
2. a movement or group existing outside the establishment


Today's lesson concludes with a special look at some real & fictional groups,
or individuals who, work around corrupted political loops.
With exceptional views, of righteousness & freedom for the people.
Through the eye of an needle, who all remembers V though?
A revolutionary who rocked a Fawkes mask & attacked Norsefire.
Cuz we all know dictators can be assholes & of course, liars.
Who seek to sit on thrones, higher- above all as gods & such.
Because all you need is some Basterds to take down a Hitler.
Round'em up, build a horse & invade their walls in silence.
How about musical groups?
I can still hear Public Enemy yelling "STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!"
(or was that "Fight the Power?")
Malcolm X opened up our minds with masterful speeches,
& we need more like him to rid our world of poisonous leaders.
Actions speak louder than words, the best plans are written
up or thought about- even through daydreams,
seriously though-


....... since when anything good has come from the mainstream?









The Underground remains KING.

[zygote]

Objective, even though it was much shorter, felt that it was more contained and focused. Not a story but that is O.K. because not everything needs to be a story, kind of like an essay-rhyme, you set out your argument at the very start which was good for the structure and helped me to follow along. Arguments themselves were simple and strong. Rhyming was good and simple which worked well in this instance. Discussing music was the obvious concept given the topic but still good nonetheless.

King Keith, all the dictionary parts are creative. Enjoyed the wider scope of the topic for underground rather than just music. Last part however felt like a step backwards rather than a progression, you started with the other paragraphs on a grand scale to end with all those specific references did not seem to fit. Rhyming was more advanced than objective's, but the majority of pop-culture references (Fraggle Rock, V etc.)was off-putting and kind of ironic considering the topic of underground. Voted for Objective.

[Soulstice]

objective - ok cool. short sweet and to the point. cant say i didnt enjoy it. flow was nice and you made a strong case in a limited space, which makes your piece even more impressive. the ending brought the piece to a nice close. similiar to the last piece i voted on, i really dont have much to say, except for cool piece but will it be ambitious enough to take down keith?

keith - i liked the first two stanzas, and the opening line was profound and strong, and well worded. however as the piece continued i feel as though you did not tie up your topic as nicely as objective. malcolm x and public enemy are not entities i would exactly consider 'underground'. as a matter of fact their historical significance is enormous. the flow sort of fell off, but the imagery remained strong. however, the piece ultimately left my questioning your stance more than agreeing with, whereas objective kept my head nodding

v - objective, for keeping my head nodding

[Inno]

objective.

felt like your piece had such a dope flow, but thats a given when the verse is short like that..and th e writer does an excellent job with the
structure and all that...mechanically onpoint this week. moving on to the story. felt al ittle stale brah. dunno i was waiting for that wow
moment but it never came..but like i said mechanically this was solid, word choice, scheme, prgession all of that...just felt like the actual
story itself was ok...didnt really like how you argued the other side..dunno felt like going from music to inmates was a far stretch for me.

keith.

felt like you started off with a bang bro..def feeling this piece more than the previous i read. anyway as far as the story goes like i said
it started off on the right foot.. but then towards the middle it seem to stumble and not really come across as clearly as the beginning.
kid of lost me there for a bit, story kinda lost its interest in that little bit. you seemed to pick it up towards the end and you finish strong.

overall

obejctive had some dope shit going...felt like his concept but felt a it short as far as a lasting impression..while keith dropped a very
creative concepts wit a decent story....both have written better imo..but in the end i got keith..i thought his effort, creativity and overall
enjoyement takes it for him...KK

[IamBenT]

Nice battle of TOPICALS! How refreshing lol

Objective - Nicely worded, I like the arguments you make, subtle yet strong, some of these lines could have been worded in a more interesting manner and I would have appreciated some colorful metaphors or similies in here so I could get a better picture of what you are coming across with.

You see, its mission discern to a vision of human behavior,

Just didn't like this line, its mission TO discern or what?? threw it off for me.

King Keith - great verse in parts, some parts need rewording and cutting just so it can have some semblance of flow, particularly the second stanza just felt like you were trying to figure out where this was going. When you drop on the Underground Railroad, that was dope, and I really liked the last part by then your voice started coming through and I could see the traces of the KK that was able to match Cereal Killer a while back. Really a solid job on writing a topical verse that's engaging, funny, and thoughtful.

But the what we're interested in is what lies beneath- in various religions known as physical/spiritual hell.

Man I just hated that line, so blah and long, a very precarious way to start, I always feel that topicals gotta grab you by the collar from jump, like a slap to the face, so I pay attention to the deeper knowledge and thought to come.

Vote -King Keith i feel Objective played it safe but could have gone more indepth with looking at why the mainstream is dominant and how it matters on every level, whereas King Keith suffered from some poor execution but had flashes of insight and some dope lines and concepts that I was feeling more.

[Ink]

I'm pretty torn on this one...

King Keith, I liked where you were going, but the usage of the definitions between the pieces made the read a bit of a jarring experience.. I was feeling the classroom atmosphere, but wish you worked those definitions in differently...
Objective... Shortest piece I've seen from you yet... Shorter verses generally mean the lines you do offer need to be of a higher quality... That ending line was really dope.. and there was a line or two that I liked as well, but other than that, I didn't find myself too drawn into this story..

Maybe it's cause I pulled a all-nighter at work or something.. but neither verse really spoke to me..
but King did take it from a technical aspect, so I'll give it to him on those grounds..

Vote- King Keith

[patrown]

objective - at first i didn't understand the intro. i think the first two lines could have been transitioned into the idea of commercial music in general.. you jumped into it pretty quick for prompting some reflection from your audience. you made some good points here about commercial music being powered by its audience. indeed, many of the commercial heads started off somewhere and had a local following before they blew up. and you pretty much said fuck those people with your closing statement, so i'm not going to praise you for that. but i respect your opinion and the piece is written well.. even if a little bland, i think perhaps the tone was suiting the topic.
king keith - as others have said, you set the tone as if i'm in a classroom awaiting instruction. make an assertion, back it up with a straight up statement, grab attention with some italics and some ominous language.. boom. you're a teacher. good fucking method right there. if i ever have a need to set a tone like that i may follow that formula and i'm giving you credit for that right here and now. you really did an amazing job tackling the topical.

/v -king keith, you destroyed it.

[Just Write]

ok saved this one for last simply because i kept ope ing it and seeing keiths verse and was like fuck that. anyways

Objective,
good job dude, you came across some very valid points and toiched base on why i havent turned my FM radio on it a couple years. this is the reason we are all here, to preserve that real raw emotion and truth. the piece flowed effortlessly, structure was awesome and dug the content. props


KK,

Ok show off.. aint no one got time to read all that shit. haha jk. i really like what you did and your take on the topic, pretty creative if you ask me. content wise this was supurb. i like how you broke down each definition into a sub-story and still made it stay on topic. im definitely going to have to come back and edit in favorite lines to all the battles ive voted on this morning. you got skills man. it showed in the way you set your lines up and the prestigious vocabulary dispayed.


this was surprise, surprise, yet another dope battle, im going to go with keith on this one because i felt he supported his topic while i feel objective more downplayed his when the topic was not only the given "mainstream" conveyance but also the task to support it.

[TYSON]

My vote goes to KING KEITH. Objective had a great flow and good content but was too straight foward to the topic. I know when u seen mainstream your initial thought would be mainstream music since we are on a hip hop site. U played it safe. Keith took it beyond what was presented and killed it. The presentation was annoying tho. But his Content was more impacting.

[Red glare]

Man I had a detailed explanation, but it took me 15 minutes and the shit logged me off,, Keith need to handle that like he done id this battle. Objective was ehh. Disposable verse,, No depth to the concepts,, I couldn't be fooled; I'm not searching for the golden lining. If it ain't there I'm not making vangough work out of your shit. Keith was ambitiously epic,, Though not grounded in concentration, failing to tie the story together,, 3 seperate stories but no over casting arch to engulf idea. A few correlating lines could have brought all 3 stanzas to a triangle that would rival the pyramid on a dollar bill. Work on that.

v/ king keith

[King Ra.]

KING KEITH WINS, 7-2.