AOWL CHAMPIONSHIP: Zygote (6-2) vs. Mike Wrecka (5-3) [ZYGOTE WINS, 11-0.]

[Split]

16 lines minimum, 48 lines maximum. (if agreed upon by both participants, you may go beyond the limit at your own risk.)

Verses are due SATURDAY 4/13 at 11:59 PST.
Extensions are due SUNDAY 4/14 at 11:59 PST.
(There is a 6 hour grace period following the end of the extension deadline. If you fail to post anything by the end of the grace period time, you will be given the no show loss.)

You must vote on at least 4 other battles and post links in the Voting Thread. For every absent vote, you will be deducted ONE vote next week.

Voting ends TUESDAY 4/16 at 11:59 PST. (Unless otherwise it may be extended another day at the most.)

You MUST check in.

If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.

NOTE
Swaying, excessive freeposting, voter fraud etc. are grounds for vote deductions at discretion of the moderators.
Editing your verse after the grace period, after your opponent posts, or after the first vote (especially this)- as well as biting- are grounds for disqualification at discretion of the moderators.

TOPIC: THIS IS A SPLIT TOPIC. One will write a verse supporting an idea, and the other will write a verse supporting an opposing idea.

zygote -Christianity
Mike Wrecka -Atheism

Good luck to both participants.

[Mike Wrecka]

ya

[zygote]

ALLEGORY: THE VINE AND THE PINE-TREE.
Once a long time ago in the forest stood a most serene pine,
Stretching outwards as its crown reached towards the sky,
Three distinct branches constructed like a grand design,
It withstands winter, withstands drought and withstands time.
The noble Pine truly was the almighty forest king,
Peaceful doves would gather in its branches holding olive twigs,
A father to all, from the other trees to the smallest things,
From the orchid flower to the common fig.
Years of light turned the pine dark brown, deep red and aged,
A symbol of stability as the seasons frequently change,
Beams and rays captured by its leaves retained heat in the day,
The pine brought warmth to the lamb that would sleep in its shade.

You have seen the noble pine-tree deliberately planted by a great farmer,
Compare it to the seedling accidentally dropped by a passer-by snake charmer.

The seedling took root - the vines growth had begun,
Its forked path twisting through the pines bark like a tongue.
Asphyxiating and constricting as it races upwards,
Twisting and slithering, the vine changed the others,
Scavengers came, the doves replaced with vultures,
The lamb went away and in its place a hyena slumbered.
The vine only looked forwards in its pursuit for greatness,
To reach the very treetops and assume its rightful placement.
In quick time the vine had reached the pines summit,
The vine felt power, as it studied the land and looked down upon it.
The vine spoke to the pine: Hah! And for how long have you lived?
In only one season I have grown as much as you ever did.

The pine shook its leaves: Listen newcomer. I stand eons old.
Every hundred years or so your kind appears and goes,
You wither or freeze in the hard times of heat or cold,
And then you ask for safety as the stormy seasons roll.
Only slow and mature growth can endure,
Tradition and wisdom stand stronger than your hazardous form,
You are proud, you are faithless, and your kind is a cancerous swarm,
Infecting and spreading until beliefs are eroded and values are gone.
Barely one season old and you are already claiming the right to stay,
You are nothing, I have seen empires rise and fall like night and day.
In short time you will not exist, all your glory will be stripped away,
Swift advancement is always followed by a swift decay.

[Mike Wrecka]

Heaven is not real. But one can experience "heaven" here on earth. Its called love. ive found paradise with my wife


when were apart, life is dark, just a black abyss,
from the start, had my heart, feelin fabulous/
the catalyst, cupids dart, sharp and accurate,
as we embrace, face to face, a fantastic bliss/
when were together, life is better, heres the astounding proof,
our love will last forever, its the fountain of youth/
reach new heights, set our sights, on a mountain of truth,
life has ups, downs, all arounds and a thousand loops/
we can make it, more than basic, no profound excuse,
so im thankful things are tranquil, like the sound of flutes/
now were winning, the beginning, can be found in roots,
the seeds that we planted, have grown into a surrounding group/
this is the fam, take my hand, that's the magnetism of lovers,
our eyes meet, feel complete, as my vision discovers/
an excellent testament within a prism of colors,
aura like an angel in a fable, my heart instantly flutters/
lets make a leap of faith, and escape any commotion,
and dive into, not a book, but a tropical ocean/
while everyone else is focused, on being hopeless, hopin,
that the pearly gates await, and will someday open/
were livin life to the fullest, fulfilling our dreams,
heaven is on a place called earth, that's what happiness brings/
theres no equal, to seeing an eagle, flapping its wings,
as we back pack and continue, mapping these themes/
so the hell with a church, we don't need to search,
got a stream of consciousness that quenches our thirst/

[Just Write]

The noble Pine truly was the almighty forest king,
Peaceful doves would gather in its branches holding olive twigs,
A father to all, from the other trees to the smallest things,
From the orchid flower to the common fig.
Years of light turned the pine dark brown, deep red and aged,
A symbol of stability as the seasons frequently change,
Beams and rays captured by its leaves retained heat in the day,
The pine brought warmth to the lamb that would sleep in its shade.

The vine only looked forwards in its pursuit for greatness,
To reach the very treetops and assume its rightful placement.
In quick time the vine had reached the pines summit,
The vine felt power, as it studied the land and looked down upon it.
The vine spoke to the pine: Hah! And for how long have you lived?
In only one season I have grown as much as you ever did.

The pine shook its leaves: Listen newcomer. I stand eons old.
Every hundred years or so your kind appears and goes,
You wither or freeze in the hard times of heat or cold,
And then you ask for safety as the stormy seasons roll.

Barely one season old and you are already claiming the right to stay,
You are nothing, I have seen empires rise and fall like night and day.
In short time you will not exist, all your glory will be stripped away,
Swift advancement is always followed by a swift decay.

I really enjoyed this piece, it was very hard for me to just select a few lines for quotables because in all honesty I loved it all. I think even though I understand the allegory and the connection with your piece to the topic it still wasnt at all what i was expecting and was not fully wrapped around the given topic. still a phenomenally written piece to say the least.




Heaven is not real. But one can experience "heaven" here on earth. Its called love. ive found paradise with my wife


when were apart, life is dark, just a black abyss,
from the start, had my heart, feelin fabulous/
the catalyst, cupids dart, sharp and accurate,
as we embrace, face to face, a fantastic bliss/

gotta say the placement of fabulous here bugged me as fabulous is spoken fab-u-lus and not fab-u-lis-

when were together, life is better, heres the astounding proof,
our love will last forever, its the fountain of youth/
reach new heights, set our sights, on a mountain of truth,
life has ups, downs, all arounds and a thousand loops/
we can make it, more than basic, no profound excuse,
so im thankful things are tranquil, like the sound of flutes/
now were winning, the beginning, can be found in roots,
the seeds that we planted, have grown into a surrounding group/

this was really clever, and flowed beautifully

this is the fam, take my hand, that's the magnetism of lovers,
our eyes meet, feel complete, as my vision discovers/
an excellent testament within a prism of colors,
aura like an angel in a fable, my heart instantly flutters/
lets make a leap of faith, and escape any commotion,
and dive into, not a book, but a tropical ocean/
while everyone else is focused, on being hopeless, hopin,
that the pearly gates await, and will someday open/

again just executed flawlessly


were livin life to the fullest, fulfilling our dreams,
heaven is on a place called earth, that's what happiness brings/
theres no equal, to seeing an eagle, flapping its wings,
as we back pack and continue, mapping these themes/
so the hell with a church, we don't need to search,
got a stream of consciousness that quenches our thirst/

Good ending, only problem is these last lines were the only lines wrapping around the topic

I enjoyed this verse mike, I really think you have a laid back unique style, I just do not think you conveyed the topic as much as you could have. it sounded more like a love letter with an "our life is better than heaven" post script thrown in at the end.


this was an alright battle, i think both could have done better as far as topic relevance goes but the stories were definitely top notch. i'm going to go with who i feel stayed more around their targeted topic and that would be: Zygote

[Xces]

Mike Wrecka - I feel like you departed from the topic, I understand the way you tied it in, but it was only really prospectively touched in the very end.
Aside from that, the writing part of this piece is solid, but something about love verses and the likes, unless executed flawlessly and entirely in an original way, they feel drawn out and repetitive, which is what I got from this. I mean no offense, it's simply an opinion from reading a TON of them. (I'm even guilty of writing some.)

Zygote - You shocked me a bit this week, last week I honestly felt your verse should have lost against Frank's as it didn't hold as much depth in my opinion.

This week you departed from that entirely, there are a few places your flow drops in this, but it is only once or twice, and it's miniscule in effect regardless. The story of the aging tree facing the impatience of a fast growing weed presented as the story of all being lasting beyond all other comers is a brilliant twist.
Your multi's and story telling were on point on this one. I can tell you have grown exponentially since SvW, I look forward to seeing more. I won't underestimate you anymore.

V/ Zygote

-X

[Adonis]

apologies for quick vote as you should know it's not my norm.

Zy - To me bro, this shit read as crisp as ever. I can't lie, I think this might have been the smoothest read for me EVER; and I've read a lot. The meaning was deep to me, as I was once extremely religous I immediately connected this to the 3 seeds parable. I will say that the verse did connect with the topic, but only after I pondered it. Your saying that christianity took the long road, and is now the leading world religion. As I don't like the connection, feel there was better routes, I absolutely loved the execution.


Mike - seemed abrupt, like just ended in the middle of the verse. I see the route you went, and like ZY not the biggest fan. I mean not a bad route, but I don't get the raw emotion of love from reading this verse which in my opinion was your main focus. Great flow in the first two bars or so, after that it was bad, but was no where near as crisp as the opener

All in all, a decent battle, but to me zy had the more complete verse, with better writing

v/ ZY

[Cereal_Killa]

Zygote:

All I read so far is the title.. love it.. swwweeett just fin verse and dope.. colourful, pleasant and peaceful.. The damn vine why he be fucken with that mega pine lol.. hey man this oober cute ima get my mum to read it she will dig it.. I think story extremely advanced storytelling this is one of those topics where you need to have one hard line.. one bad boy that knocks everyones head out the park, and to do it in the bright format is tough but I know for a fact you are capable of it.. I truthfully think that lacked.. just as far as putting the nail in the coffin with your readers.. None the less an outstanding, OUTSTANDING display of written work here.. and I truly did enjoy the read.. thank you..

Mike:

Hey I like this, sort of a respect sight on love you would read at your wedding.. or mates wedding.. structure was cool, vocab was nice as far as nothing seemed forced.. all flow was nice and it was a genuine heartfelt piece.. sweet drop mate

Vote = zygote

I look for story, the best told story.. And Zygote has this ish locked down.. Tight match overall and enjoyed the read.. cheers blokes n g/l

[Zen]

Nice battle here.
zygote: Terrific story as always. The piece captured a heavenly scenery in my mind and it never let up. A smooth read as well as your mechanics were top notch once again. The hidden meanings in the lines were very nice as well proving that this just wasn't some "religion" piece, but it was instead a religion piece lol. Nice piece here zy.
Mike Wrecka: I gotta be honest with you I really enjoyed your verse this week Mike. Terrific story of love between a husband of wife finding heaven here on earth. Your rhyming was impeccable as it is every week but the only bad thing I see about this is the piece is too short imo. I think with a longer piece you could have had a better chance of beating zy this week, as what you wrote was beautiful but wasn't enough.

Overall I gotta go with zy on this one. Great battle though guys.

[IamBenT]

Nice battle. Imma switch things up this week and instead of looking for quotes i liked, imma put up quotes I DIDN'T LIKE.

Alright.

Zygote- Damn, what a dope allegory. From top to bottom I was enthralled with your epic take on mythmaking. This is the best verse I have read from you in my time here, bar none. you have real solid skill in dropping these strong short verses, and it really worked for you this week. rhyme scheme was effective and constant throughout with few slip ups.

Asphyxiating and constricting as it races upwards,
Twisting and slithering, the vine changed the others

didnt like, just ugly and seemed kind of forced. it slapped me in the middle of an otherwise fantastic reading experience

Mike Wrecka - Great name by the way. I think this is the first verse I have read and bro I gotta say next to Nigma you have the dopest flow and skill with multis in the league. Where others such as myself force, you flow, and i love that. Relevance to topic was sketchy at best, you could have hit more on the uselessness of God, seemed like an afterthought at the end of the verse, you should have hit me up with a PM cuz i debate these atheists at RM all the time, and they have tons of vitriol and great fodder for a verse like this that I think COULD have meshed with the love story. I love a good love story *hence my verse this week* so I did appreciate that.

were livin life to the fullest, fulfilling our dreams,
heaven is on a place called earth, that's what happiness brings/

Just didn't like this line. felt like it interrupted the flow and messed things up a bit, plus a bit vague and could have been reworded.

Vote -Zygote for a great verse. Great battle guys!

[Soulstice]

zygote - damn another nice read from you. it left me satisfied when i finished it up. while i would argue that swift progress begets swift downfall does not in fact fly as a universal truth, i do agree that the concept of pride and vanity in the face of elder statesman will nearly always meet an unsavory finish. the 3 seeds parable and the holy trinity were images that i took from the beginning, and the vine/snake in eden was well represented but it also had a few intersecting allegories. that mightve been the point im not sure how i felt about that. probabyl for the best. but anyways i didnt even take this as a religious piece. just a piece about pride and arrogant youth in the face of the Great Oak of tradition and values amongst a landscape that is forever altering what those are to the younger folks.

mike recka - overall i suppose a piece on true love has been done before. it would require incredible wording and memorable lines to truly translate that emotion to a piece that can beat zy's this week. the flow was tight and nothing seemed out of place but it didnt seem like a piece that is going to get my vote over zygotes. simply not ambitious enough.

v - zygote

[Pent uP]

Zy -- I liked this verse. It felt very methodical and fleshed out.. I just hate the fact that the topic was Christianity because of what the commentary about the religion is. I think of it as relating more to empires or legacies; but i guess in just the same way you could say it about a religion. I can't conjure a word better then methodical for the wording and I keep wanting to point out how good it was -- It's not often you see an allegory that well thought out. I feel like this was more about the stories in the bible than the religion as a whole though when I look deeper into it. "snake charmer" alluding to the snake that baited Eve. The pine tree was (maybe?) your depiction of God, planted firm and towering in this story. When someone (snake charmer - laying seedlings) came to "overtake" what he has created. As the vine's scheme succeeds quickly - it doesn't intimidate the pine (god) - because he enforces the cycle of life and, really, who gets to be among the tree-tops for their efforts over a long period of time. I dont know if my train of thought makes sense but thats one way my mind spun the allegory. Either way well worded and definitely got my mind going so great verse.

Mike -- There were two lines in this verse that really stood out to me and sent my imagination in two different directions. The first line, and in my opinion the most powerful one was -- "magnetism of lovers." It got my head into a concept of actually talking about atoms and ions in the human body and our electrical and magnetic qualities and how they're relative to how we find a mate. I think a verse against religion but based on finding a mate on that level would be extremely rich in conceptual freedom. The second was the line where you said testament. I thought it was peculiar you used a bible-related word (in its most used pretense) and tried to use it against the religion and for atheism. The idea of using the bible against itself for the purpose of explaining love sounds like a cool concept to me also. The problem, at this point, is that both of those seemingly cool concepts were gleaned from the wording in your verse, but not actual ideas in your verse. As it is I think conceptually your verse lacks in rolling a fresh concept from start to finish - instead it has bits and pieces of interest littered within it. Nothing wrong with that, just not as well rounded as your opponents.

Overall -- Zygote wrote something that could be interpreted many ways on many levels and still holds a message that is strong in stand-alone form as well. Mike had some good ideas littered within his subject matter but I felt the overall product was much stronger from

Zygote

[Split]

zygote.

enjoyed this verse a LOT. awesome allegory. really supported your idea well. mechanics were very nice.

Tradition and wisdom stand stronger than your hazardous form,
You are proud, you are faithless, and your kind is a cancerous swarm,
Infecting and spreading until beliefs are eroded and values are gone.
Barely one season old and you are already claiming the right to stay,
You are nothing, I have seen empires rise and fall like night and day.
In short time you will not exist, all your glory will be stripped away,
Swift advancement is always followed by a swift decay.

wow. effective writing all around.

MW.

good verse.

life has ups, downs, all arounds and a thousand loops/
we can make it, more than basic, no profound excuse,
so im thankful things are tranquil, like the sound of flutes/
now were winning, the beginning, can be found in roots,
the seeds that we planted, have grown into a surrounding group/
that was great... really captured a nice tone w/ your piece.

your belief in love stands strong against your belief in God, which is how I see this supporting Atheism. the part about heaven being here on earth kinda felt redundant and tacked on, given that. still a nice verse.

awesome match. gotta go to Zygote for an epic verse that really ran away with his topic, imo.

[Dove Dozer]

hard battle to vote on as I thought both did really well

zygote very vivid details in your whole verse, great verse I really enjoyed it. flow I felt choppy off and on throughout. not a huge point, but I just found it didn't flow as nicely as id have liked.

mike - this was a nice piece. as the others stated I felt the topic was tied into the last few lines only. However the flow to this whole piece was top notch man. excellent mechanics on this whole drop. major props for that

as far as vote I have to go with ...


zygote.

both came ill, but i had to pick one.

[patrown]

Zygote – Well, without religion telling people what’s right and what’s wrong, the world would be a horrible place. So, no matter what kind of movements take us away from faith.. we return to it. That’s the message I took. The allegory can be taken a few different ways, it’s a strong statement on the tried and true versus new and viral. Good honest piece, that I really did enjoy.

Mike wrecka – good portrayal of emotion here. Pretty serious about being happy with your wife.
an excellent testament within a prism of colors.
that line would have to be using the definition of testament "a covenant between two people." Since your piece is on atheism and covenants are therefore irrelevant or false, I don’t see anything that warrants its use. Extremely poetic here. If indeed sincere, I commend you for your honest portrayal of emotions.

/v zygote – I feel like he hit the topic better.

[King Ra.]

ZYGOTE WINS, 11-0.