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Wise Wiggles
04-18-2013, 02:17 AM
You duck duck gooses ain't used to this pond's current
Best'ta stay home when the red cape flows, Spawns lurkin'
Equilibrium's off, but you're fuckin' w/the wrong cleric
Ohhh, you quick on it? Well I draws perfect
Come here, gimme a hand- lets see if this saws workin
im sniffing 4 grams w/lindsey lohan watching disney programs
swigging coke cans in a kidney stone scan
it seems you have the perfect skin for furnishing
walk into the furnace wind burning a turkish blend
time to kill. wanna see gore on ya wrist watch?
& get the same shit that the chloroformed bitch got?
be my cordial guest as I torture you dressed as Corey from slipknot
blaze a chorus? I have different ways to torch it
have that whore looking like spacey in pay it forward
something stronga? columbiana- make a corpse & trace an orchid
& the bullets are messy, run when I'm pulling the dessy
have you holding ya belly leaking petroleum jelly
send me ya wife, plus some henny & ice
look out for Benny at night unless you're lending ya life
cuz the hollow tip I give you isn't empty advice
trying to take my soul? don't tempt me homos
put a ginger's head on the wall like the Wendy's logo
few beers & a blunt, throw a spear in a cunt
do I do drugs? one whiff of this mirror & ya numb
shut up bitch fo I cut up tits like tears of the sun
party time? all the kids call me mr clown nose
got the perfect murder planned out for gwenith paltrow
taste the acid rain when god pees. I like to save the bodies
mommy says that every time a virgin's raped, a cross bleeds
we'll be friends til the end, this the voodoo hex
suffocate my face like jack in the cuckoo's nest
embalming music, not even the dead cats ignore me
jump ship- shoot a flare in your meth laboratory
Fuck your Hocus Pocus, old letters & spells
This Brit Murph kept in a cell... I, never, will, tell
Out the depths of the well, to climbing out of your set
Make a new tape? Too late, died surrounded in wet
Address? Elm St.. Don't even lie down for a sec
When Gabriel takes control, sign's found on the neck

YDK
04-18-2013, 03:37 AM
Shit was dope man I been wanted ta do a drop like this for a min but need somebody ta feed off of Lol. Wanna collab?

IamBenT
04-18-2013, 09:34 AM
have that whore looking like spacey in pay it forward

Had me LOL

cuz the hollow tip I give you isn't empty advice

NICE

For the most part this was ILL, i liked the multis and the references
to films and such were really witty and fun, it kind of trailed off a bit to the end
but this was a nice intro for me to your work
put a ginger's head on the wall like the Wendy's logo

Just fire right there, very dope

Wise Wiggles
04-23-2013, 10:40 AM
just a fucking sample

Just Write
04-23-2013, 11:30 AM
fav line
put a ginger's head on the wall like the Wendy's logo

Mr. J
04-24-2013, 09:35 PM
few beers & a blunt, throw a spear in a cunt
do I do drugs? one whiff of this mirror & ya numb
shut up bitch fo I cut up tits like tears of the sun
party time? all the kids call me mr clown nose
got the perfect murder planned out for gwenith paltrow

^^^^
quite quite sick, I enjoyed this...
then again I always enjoy your pieces
nice drop all around my friend
cannot wait to see more...I can't really say much
like you need critiquing

EndSane
04-28-2013, 02:39 AM
Been so long since I have read something this dope and it was a guy I didn't get along with before. Shit was non stop punches and had a lot of flavor to it wise. It had a lot
Of Quotables like the ones mentioned...

"& get the same shit that the chloroformed bitch got?
be my cordial guest as I torture you dressed as Corey from slipknot"
....dope shit

Had a lot of swag and flow type punches that weren't concrete but very fucking solid. Haven't read anything from u in a but this showcases u have lots of talent my dude...

Natural
04-28-2013, 03:16 AM
You duck duck gooses ain't used to this pond's current
Best'ta stay home when the red cape flows, Spawns lurkin'
Equilibrium's off, but you're fuckin' w/the wrong cleric
Ohhh, you quick on it? Well I draws perfect
Come here, gimme a hand- lets see if this saws workin
im sniffing 4 grams w/lindsey lohan watching disney programs
swigging coke cans in a kidney stone scan
it seems you have the perfect skin for furnishing
walk into the furnace wind burning a turkish blend
time to kill. wanna see gore on ya wrist watch?
& get the same shit that the chloroformed bitch got?
be my cordial guest as I torture you dressed as Corey from slipknot
blaze a chorus? I have different ways to torch it
have that whore looking like spacey in pay it forward
something stronga? columbiana- make a corpse & trace an orchid
& the bullets are messy, run when I'm pulling the dessy
have you holding ya belly leaking petroleum jelly
send me ya wife, plus some henny & ice
look out for Benny at night unless you're lending ya life
cuz the hollow tip I give you isn't empty advice
trying to take my soul? don't tempt me homos
put a ginger's head on the wall like the Wendy's logo
few beers & a blunt, throw a spear in a cunt
do I do drugs? one whiff of this mirror & ya numb
shut up bitch fo I cut up tits like tears of the sun
party time? all the kids call me mr clown nose
got the perfect murder planned out for gwenith paltrow
taste the acid rain when god pees. I like to save the bodies
mommy says that every time a virgin's raped, a cross bleeds
we'll be friends til the end, this the voodoo hex
suffocate my face like jack in the cuckoo's nest
embalming music, not even the dead cats ignore me
jump ship- shoot a flare in your meth laboratory
Fuck your Hocus Pocus, old letters & spells
This Brit Murph kept in a cell... I, never, will, tell
Out the depths of the well, to climbing out of your set
Make a new tape? Too late, died surrounded in wet
Address? Elm St.. Don't even lie down for a sec
When Gabriel takes control, sign's found on the neck

Hmm. Your rhyming ability is awesome( 4 grams w/ lindsey lohan ^ dope). Your flow was mostly on point and there were some creative spots but then at times it seemed like you were rhyming to rhyme. I think if you utilized your rhyme ability in a meaningful and organized way in every line it would impact harder. However, im new to the site. I may find later i'm wrong. I'll have to see as i read more from you. Definitely above avarage anyway.

My favorite part was prob chloroform bitch got/corey from slipknot lines.

Stay up dude.

Wise Wiggles
01-03-2014, 10:05 AM
^thanks bro

Eŋg
01-03-2014, 10:08 AM
wtf is a challenge week?

Wise Wiggles
01-03-2014, 10:11 AM
I was thinking the same thing. Seems legit though.

DexLabb
01-04-2014, 07:50 PM
liked this man, do you write to a beat? if so, your gonna need less punches and more personality attached to some of your lines. duno, maybe this was just a flex. but i liked it had some hot lines uhh hollow tip, the saw line reminded me of eminem. liked the chloroform lined it flowed well, good shit

dull boy
01-04-2014, 08:35 PM
I found this highly erotic.

dead man
01-04-2014, 11:26 PM
I miss these

big baby
01-05-2014, 11:33 AM
Good stuff. Stop trying to be me. Just kidding. You are my friend.

Might do a paragraph format, to satisfy the likes of vulgar, and everybody else who can't appreciate a different format. Gonna have to 'be on flow', lol. Whatever that means. Glad this was upped. Stellar writing, of course it has a hip-hop vibe to it. And unlike deadmans or vulgars writing, which can be transferred to a lot of other regular readers to enjoy, this one, doesn't have that affect. Not to say it isn't good, but certain people appreciate certain things. I sort of try to aim for a writing most people can enjoy, and that I am completely satisfied with. I mean, artists can draw a weird stick figure and love it themselves, but to everybody else it sucks, or doesn't make sense. In this sense it isn't objective, but subjective, and subjectivity is prone to brash covering. That's why I don't really understand when writers on here bash a paragraph format. I know it's their job to find criticisms if they seem fit, and I completely don't mind that. If I write, or you write something in 5 minutes, and get criticized (due to the lack of depth, and time spent on it, of course your writing suffers) then so be it, but I understand structure is something, but shouldn't affect the actual content of it. And I know, me personally, havent offered stellar writing in forms of super extreme dope ill raw content, but I think it's fluid, even if I type it up in a few minutes. I don't know what I'm saying now.

Remember guys, nothing grows in a comfort zone. Meaning your writing. You can be expansive and your own little unique cool person in a certain way of writing, but you'll never truly measure your true potential, take strides in doing other things, and if you suck....then you suck. In all forms of writing I try to be the best that I can. I've mastered the quirky off the wall stuff. I've long mastered anything rap-punchline related. I've taken measures in emotional writing, without rhyming, with rhyming, in stanzas, comedy, screenplay, book writing, prose, anything in poetry form, rhyme recipes, everything. Not to say, I've mastered this forms, but I don't stick to one form. I know this is a 'hip-hop' site and if you know me like dallas, you know I'm not really the hip-hop guy, but I just wanted to expand my writing to all forms. There's things I do most won't ever do on here, in forms of writing. I haven't returned to my favorite and most expert form of writing in quite awhile, but that's fine for me, I'm glad and it feels good to get praise on different forms of writing - that tells me I'm maturing. Yeah, some people just want to express themselves, and growth isn't really necessary - but for me it is. I'd expect people want to be the best they can be. Sometimes to get over a plateau you have to try other things to solidify elements in your writing to get over humps. I'm completely off topic here, and I'm sure people that practice other forms of writing (english majors, journalists, editors) just to name a few of the practices of people I've seen post on this board. tl;dr dope stuff. people suck.

Split
01-05-2014, 11:52 AM
big baby what is your specialty

big baby
01-05-2014, 12:01 PM
big baby what is your specialty

loving you

Wise Wiggles
01-05-2014, 12:12 PM
So the stats are in,,,, and amber moly is legit........sry homies

Vulgar
01-05-2014, 06:59 PM
Toasters up. Crash Bandicoot with the jumpshot. A bowl of Cheerios stained with blood. Teddy bear congressional hearing. Etc.

I like your other work better than this one, the jokes weren't that funny IMO. The rhyming was quality - for example, your opening bar caught my attention even before I clicked on your open mic in the first place (the pop-up script) Needless to say, it made me hungry for women.

look out for Benny at night unless you're lending ya life
cuz the hollow tip I give you isn't empty advice
^Pretty original take.

CopyPat
01-06-2014, 04:23 AM
haha this was sick to read. i think ur probably fucked in your head but its very entertaining.

no the RHYMES were what was super impressive to me..lol as usual. but yeah for real this was a bit more polished then some of ur other ones. seemed like u took more time with it? wasn't so randomly thrown together. still had that quick pace to it rhythmically but just felt more thought out to me. the content/style was obviously pretty unique to yourself which i think at this point has basically become what ur known for. its always interesting to see what u will come up with next. hella quotables. as vulgar said i didnt find anything terribly funny but i did find them super original

swigging coke cans in a kidney stone scan

ha the flooooooooooow buddy


time to kill. wanna see gore on ya wrist watch?
& get the same shit that the chloroformed bitch got?
be my cordial guest as I torture you dressed as Corey from slipknot

super sick too... and a bunch of others but its getting too late in this fucker, good post wise one.