AOWL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: zygote (7-1) VS. Red glare (6-2) [ZYGOTE WINS, 5-3.]

[Split]

16 lines minimum, 48 lines maximum. (if agreed upon by both participants, you may go beyond the limit at your own risk.)

Verses are due SATURDAY 4/23 at 11:59 PST.
Extensions are due SUNDAY 4/24 at 11:59 PST.
(There is a 6 hour grace period following the end of the extension deadline. If you fail to post anything by the end of the grace period time, you will be given the no show loss.)

You must vote on at least 4 other battles and post links in the Voting Thread. For every absent vote, you will be deducted ONE vote next week.

Voting ends TUESDAY 4/26 at 11:59 PST. (Unless otherwise it may be extended another day at the most.)

You MUST check in.

If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.

NOTE
Swaying, excessive freeposting, voter fraud etc. are grounds for vote deductions at discretion of the moderators.
Editing your verse after the grace period, after your opponent posts, or after the first vote (especially this)- as well as biting- are grounds for disqualification at discretion of the moderators.

TOPIC:

"Any man who has had the job I've had and didn't have a sense of humor wouldn't still be here."
Harry S. Truman

Good luck to both participants.

[Red glare]

;-)

[zygote]

ANARCHIST PROPAGANDA MATERIAL.

"Any man who has had the job I've had and didn't have a sense of humor wouldn't still be here." - Harry S. Truman

breathe out.

breathe in. release chi from the mental.
meet Petr Vilshenko, today the same as everyday he’s feeling so dreadful,
his people called him Petr the Miserable Devil, not an agreeable fellow,
he receives a briefing and memo marked Recent-Essential, Keep-Confidential.
asleep in the press room, the pressure deepens to tenfold.
it grows increasingly stressful,
his appearance disheveled, fearful and fretful.
impeccable completed credentials, trade union leader at eighteen rearing to let go.
A worker’s revolutionary who brought his people from ghettos.
His ideal of Pochvennichestvo – the release of his people from Imperialist cesspools,
His Free Territory at the feet of the Dnieper assembled,
the spirits ancestral, a dream of a place that’s peace and respect filled,
The Old Doctrine of his free manifesto – The Revolutionary idealism is central.
but this ideal developmental twisted from the heat of the metal.
his sons died during the coup – like in keeping with tempo then peaked to crescendo.
the day when Our Hero reached his potential, he also descended deep into refuge,
a mental state of meaningless deluge that clearly resembles the deepest celestial.
The New Doctrine of his free manifesto – he wrote Life is a meaningless road on an unreasonable dead world,
Ninety percent of society reduced to slavery the means justified by the end goals,
The other ten percent receives complete freedom for being successful, breaching threshold of human achievement and levels,
He wrote Laughter opposes Labor and is unnecessary for achieving your set goals.
To create his nihilistic utopia deceit was essential.
Secret police moved like demons revenge filled, torturing political dissidents with bleeding utensils.
Vilshenko orders his meetings rescheduled. begins reading the previous memo – “Leader. The proletariat claim your mistreatment's neglectful, underground groups are scheming to get you…”
Petr loosens his prehensile on pencil, it falls to the floor with a serious echo,
He can’t escape the feeling of nearing his peril.
impending feelings of dread loom. when life means nothing do you still believe it is special?
An experience of fear is embezzled, he planned to keep his mementos from usurping the seat of supreme presidential,
his sons by his side when they sacked St. Petersburg’s temple.
it all built to this moment, a predestined path with a sequence sequential,
he’s feeling resentful but will not let his leadership tremble.

In conclusion, humor is a leadership quality like nihilism is a leadership quality, leaders are oppressive and their character traits become the norm. The common individual is only forced to go along. The Petr Vilshenko exposition demonstrates the topic’s wrong. Further, you wonder how Truman could ever have a sense of humor after ordering the use of two atomic bombs.
- THE ANARCHO-SYNDICALIST COMMUNE.

[Red glare]

"These polls that the Republican candidate is putting out are like sleeping pills designed to lull the voters into sleeping on election day. You might call them sleeping polls." Harry S Truman
.....
....
...
..
.
Truman succeeded to the presidency on April 12, 1945...
President Franklin Delano Roosevelt had died. The nation was mortified.
The President of the Cold Wars lie in Warm Springs, Georgia under a stormy sky.
His body ice cold, but in the hearts of every Soviet soldier; triumph was thawing with remorse to the mind.
He had lead a country through the Great Depression; through the daunting demise.
'Was elected 4 consecutive times by a country who bypassed the fine-print clause which he signed.
He had big shoes to fill. He only walked in a 9. Shoes polished to a porpoises shine by a pauper;
Who propped his foot; with all of his might; and palmed at the hide, while the president looked on Pompous with pride.
He sliced the american pie; giving everybody his portion; on a plate of porcelain design.
Fine china -
The Japanese had in their cabinets was sent flying in the explosion of forks and knives.
The world was at war - trying ward off a up rise; that would change the course of the times.
At the cross roads; where any faltering would divide the country, with a crow bar, causing it to pry
open -
Exposing the underbelly of a vulnerable nation; sprawling in it's slime.
The door was off it's hinges swinging with a pretentious whine like barn doors, poured on with tides.
Over time,
A well oiled machine dries to a stall of a standstill even when you 'floor it' in on drive.
President Franklin Delano Roosevelts death left America a sight for sore eyes.
..
Meanwhile V.P Harry Truman was crossing his tie - preparing to be sworn in - Live!
He had only been on the job for 82 days; on the morning of the mourning; resign.
..
Lets fast forward to his Press Conference; August 6th. 1945.
..
Only it's April 2013; And I'm a reporter for the New York Times.
...
..
Truman rushes out of a room full of smoke - cigars of fury
Loud congressmen voices fade as the door shuts them out; There harps of worry.
Truman isn't a burly man; all of 5'8, in a harmless hurry.
..
"Sir, where were you born?''
...
..
.
"Lamar, Missouri.."

His southern drawl was unnerving - A dumb numb of the twirl of the tongue;
He twiddled his thumb but he wasn't unfurled.
..
Is it true you're the only president who never graduated from college?
..
He shrugged, responding -

"'C' students run the world!"
..
We all chuckled, somewhat disturbed.

The room started to listen.
..
"My choice early in life was either to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician.
And to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference. "

The journalist snickered and scribbled amused.
..
“How many times do you have to get hit over the head until you figure out who’s hitting you."
"If you can't convince them confuse them"
He said, each reporter trying to get in a question.
..
How do you feel knowing you're responsible for the death of thousands?somebody said upsetting the jester setting.

The President gave it a brief second of recollection.

"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."
.....
....
...
..
.
Truman didn't know about the plans to build atomic bombs, they had been so top secret,
Even the Vice-President of the United States was not to 'breach it.
About three months after Truman became President, the Trinity Test took place.
The Trinity Test was the code name given to the first atomic bomb to successfully devastate.
The Trinity Test proved that atomic bombs would work, if they were needed to be used in war.
In August of 1945; the United States was still fighting in World War II
Against the nation of Japan...
Told about the successful Trinity Test of an atomic bomb, President Truman followed through on what Franklin had planned.
It was his hope that the power of the bomb and the damage it would cause might be enough to stop fighting,
So, an atomic bomb named “Little Boy” was dropped on the city like a swat of 6 billion watts of lightning.
When the Japanese didn’t surrender after the “Little Boy” bomb destroyed Hiroshima,
President Truman ordered that a second atomic bomb, called “Fat Man” be deployed; to ether.
Several days later, as President Truman considered using even more atomic bombs,
The Japanese decided to surrender, waving the white flag; with the red dot upon
..
"The atom bomb was no great decision. It was merely another powerful weapon in the arsenal of righteousness"
He said; peering through his glasses; fogged with reporters breathing hard with excitement.
..
"Whenever the press quits abusing me I know I'm in the wrong pew" He spoke adamant.
..
"I don't mind it because when they throw bricks at me- I'm a pretty good shot myself and I usually throw 'em back at em'"
"I remember when I first came to Washington. For the first six months you wonder how the hell you ever got here."
..
"For the next six months you wonder how the hell the rest of them ever got here"
..
"Once a decision was made, I didn't worry about it afterward"
..
A Japanese reported stood up and blurted a callous blur of savage slurs

"私はあなたがこのくそいまいましい息子WTFが何かを構成する翻訳作ら笑は、このたわごとを翻訳!!!!! !!!!!!!"

The reporters restrained. His eyes deafening. Being carried out - crying avengingly,
..
"Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything."
..
The room was unsettling; the questions were admittedly less cynically clever.
..
What are your thoughts on Minimum wage?
..
"The republicans believe in minimum wage - the more minimum, the better!"
..
"It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours"
"When even one American - who has done nothing wrong is forced-by fear
to shut his mind and close his mouth-then all Americans are in Peril"
..
Reporters sneered hysterical, his plainspoken common sense - the sharp wit -
His blunt honesty, his zero tolerance policy for bullshit.
..
"I fired Mac-Arthur because he wouldn't respect the authority of the president."
..
"I didn't fire him because he was a dumb son of a bitch,

Although he was."
..
"Republicans don't like people who talk about depressions. You can hardly blame them for that.
..
"You remember the old saying: Don't talk about rope in the house where somebody has been hanged at"
"Any man who has had the job I've had and didn't have a sense of humor wouldn't still be here"
..
He said leaning into the microphone so his voice would be clear.
..
"I don't believe in anti-anything. A man has to have a program; you have to be for something, otherwise you will never get anywhere"
"The Buck stops here!"
..
He rose from the chair - right on cue:
..
"Tact is the ability to step on a mans toes without messing up the shine on his shoes"
..
The questions flew as he made a bee line for the red sign.

Are you confident you'll beat out Dewey at the deadline?

"In most of my campaigns, I find it is best not to mention my opponent by name because, by doing so, it just gives him a chance to get into the headlines.”
..
Bursting with laughter - the crowd started shrieking with yells
Spontaneous human combustion - Someone had blew up into smithereens on themselves.
A mushroom cloud engulfed him; as he leaves -

"Fairwell"

“I never give the public hell. I just tell the truth, and they think it's hell.”

[Zen]

Dayum....
zygote: Another vintage zygote piece here. This gave the feeling to me of a noir type piece. I pictured Petr sitting in a room alone with just a cigarette in his hand lol. Pretty interesting verse here as well to show Petr who started out with only good intentions, freeing his people from Imperialism through Revolution to now having them working intense labor to meet their country's needs, so I think it shows the corruption of power very well. Nice piece here zygote.
Red glare:Damn...Just damn...From the beginning I was a little bored with it because I thought it was going to be a history lesson type post but then once you got to the interview with Truman...It was pretty amazing in my opinion. The dialogue seemed genuine (probably because it was) and there was a ton of witty and brash quotes from Truman. Very very enjoyable reading that. What I don't understand is the "Its 2013 and I work for the New York Times" line. Why is that there? It seemed it would've been best to leave that line out imo. But to be honest this was an amazing piece here really. Props.

All in all I see this battle as an upset, or maybe not considering what Red glare's been dropping the past few weeks. So my vote goes to Red. Great battle.

[ZeeDee]

I counted over 80 lines in red glare so I fgured this will be mentioned cuz its 40 lines over the line limit... ithe ules say zygote has to agree to this so ill edit in a vote after I see tht zygote is okay with the that over maxed line limit..

[Split]

zygote Red Glare has 97 lines.. is that okay by you?

[Just Write]

fuuuuck. ill vote on this last and edit it here

[Adonis]

I counted over 80 lines in red glare so I fgured this will be mentioned cuz its 40 lines over the line limit... ithe ules say zygote has to agree to this so ill edit in a vote after I see tht zygote is okay with the that over maxed line limit..

Same here

[IamBenT]

Gonna make this short sorry.

ZY-great vocab, strong angle on the topic, very descriptive and out sideof the box. Some of it bored me asit gott near the end but plenty of hot fire

RG- good god man this was for me a long and somewhat painful read. There is brilliance mixed with tedium, but y ok u do a pretty good job of weaving quotes with rhymes.but it was just toomuch and seemed to lose steam for me

Vote- Zygote FOR a better overalll verse

[patrown]

editing in real vote today.

[Vulgar]

Zygote - Some of the rhyming was sick, some of it was off. You repeated a couple of words in the midst of the ensuing avalanche of continuous multis. It seems that you, Frank and Red Glare are known to hold a rhyme scheme for a long time but I personally think it's a great indication of skill: it just restricts the piece itself! I know there are better ways of saying certain lines but you insist on keeping the same flow for the complete journey. Okay, so the verse. I felt it met the topic kind of since I don't really see how the leader at hand, a nihilist minister and leader of Russia, uses humor to get himself out of a steep hole. I see how there is a lack of humor in the situation, but there is no visible strain of humorousness I could sense in the verse. Yeah, it wasn't a bulls eye for me this week sir but an honorable attempt at something different and very you, of course. I just wish it would've encompassed the theme in an undoubtable, pronounced fashion.

Red Glare - Hmmmm.... you get loads of cool points for actually having the guts to undertake something like this. That is the plus side: motivation for illustrating a character, digging up numerous quotes and setting out to define how the man must've been in a group conversation - displaying that dialogue for the reader to sift through and explore. Beyond the madness of the atomic bomb quotient. I say "hmmm" because it was really sprawled out. I can't think of one instance where the flow truly "rolled on" and I was captivated by the content. I wasn't bored at any point of the verse which was another highlight. It's just that it wasn't woven together eloquently at all, but strewn about in bits & pieces like someone gluing hair onto their head and passing it off as a wig. The beginning segment reminded me of the way Lord Shivas Siq Al used to write on HollaFront, if you know who I am referring to. The lines were drawn out, the rhymes imaginative but foundationally on the weak-side, that is to say, they weren't sharply connected but recited loosely. A bit chaotic in terms of structure. I feel like it may seem like I'm shafting you last week and this week by voting against you but my voting instincts cause me to be more appreciative of work that can be daringly kinetic AND symmetrical. I'm voting against you not because of a boring story - it was a good story and creative execution, but it was unorganized to me. It looks like you were 65% through a rough draft edit, then decided to patch up the loose ends and call it a day, tbh. Although, you did meet the topic more than Zygote did.

Red, one day I will vote for you... one day... hang in there. Nice showing from both. I'm going for Zygote because even though it was vague with the topic, it had a solid texture I could vibe with on more levels than Red's.

Vote - Zygote

[Just Write]

ok im gunna keep this short because tbh im on my phone and this shits just too hard and too long to break down. zygote i see you among the midst of a few other as philosophers of text and sometimes ill be honest its over my head and i stumble through your stuff.. definitely need a dictionary at times. with that being said i really enjoyed the first bit of this piece and the story behind it. i really cant tell you anything because you're definitely beyond me in this writing thing, all i can say is dope dope dope.

RG, damn homie.. really? you know how much 100 lines looks like from my phone playa? and ways i was dreading reading this until i actually started, i was a fraid it was going to drag on and be kinda boring which it dig drag a tad but i didnt really get bored. i was really impreased with how you made a story that long read off pretty effortlessly.


this really could go either way which almost makes me not want to vote on this but if i have to im going to go for not the better verse because they were equally superb but just the one i favored more and thats RG.. thanks for the awesome reads guys

[Cereal_Killa]

Zygote:

Dude are you Australian.. Either way sick, I only just started looking into syndicalism a few weeks ago..

This is off subject but you will see links..
I always found the 1968 Olympic black power salute to be strange..
the guy on 3rd place is Australian without the history the photo looks like what it represents “black power over white dominance” but being Australian I’m like why doesn’t he have his fist raised too, in support of unity..
The nationalist where in charge over here that year, Whitlam came in power 72’…

I’m d/ling salute now for answers and Peter Norman is my mates uncle so im speaking to him about it Thursday.. I haven’t b4 but after this I really gots to find out..

ANYWHOOT lol dude vocab is off the godamn chain, story is highly amusing.. how can you have humour when you have to lie to get what you want..
“I want peace for all and I will to deceive to get it” how is that peace, you started off on bad grounds..

Man I like how your character slowly goes insane, war torn and shell shocked.. A guys whos head is lost in space, it reminds me of how Malcom X had to adopt a total different belief system to get his point across.. I see that in your character..

but I duno the celestial thing threw me off because if you where just making a “space cadet” reference like his crazy for adopting anarchism..

it sounded to me like an odd Scientology refernce.. And im unsure if its an ecconimc system as such but it is a belief system, so you threw me..

Tis all cool though.. I love how your character had zero humor himself yet stayed to fight in his job to get his beliefs across.. man dope piece 100%

Red:
Mmm loven the switch, when depression hits to keep productivity.. you gots to lower the minium wage,
Which its suits the recent US capitalist beliefs at the time perfectly :)

Side note at what point does it get raised back up when your living in a capitalist society where the most money has the most power.. yet you’ve got minimum wage at like $7.50 at the same time you have $100,000,000 bankers, politicians, religious associates.. and your still in debt..

Anywhoot I’m drifting, man I loved this line..

"If you can't convince them confuse them"

Dude, I highly enjoyed the insight of your character, history wise but you needed emotion.. heavey, heavy emotion to pull this one off imo.. Due to the fact you where running quotes you lost some of your crazy rhyme structure too..

The spontaneous combustion was dope btw..

Ohh Lmfao @ this..

“Lol made this translation damn son shit wtf constitute something, translate this shit is you I”

loven it.. Wow :)

Vote = zygote

This is a great and insane battle.. you got two opposed ideas just smashing at each other in full force.. very gladiatorial :) shit be swinging, shit be swinging.. I went with zygote cause he had a verse that was just as heavy but didn’t loose his main components of lyrical writing.. Shit was crazy on both parts, I wrote about both of these from a Japanese victim during this time period a few years back.. so this was amusing to me.. if you want the link, hit me up.. highly – highly enjoyed this.. cheers

[King Ra.]

3-2. This needs more votes.

[Aesthetic]

Zygote:

I like as well as dislike your choice; politics especially anarchism isn't too much of a laughing matter, but you made it so. I have mixed opinions about this piece.

Your wording, vocabulary, flow and storyline is on point and straight accurate. I wish I could have seen more metaphors, wordplay, events, and even a more detailed breakdown of a failed revolt.


Red glare:

I like as well as dislike your choice same as zygote; your ability too address facts with 3rd person opinions is quiet uhm DOPE lol


V/Red

He did a lot of research, threw down just a little more then Z.

Good one guys

[Split]

Zygote:

I like as well as dislike your choice; politics especially anarchism isn't too much of a laughing matter, but you made it so. I have mixed opinions about this piece.

Your wording, vocabulary, flow and storyline is on point and straight accurate. I wish I could have seen more metaphors, wordplay, events, and even a more detailed breakdown of a failed revolt.


Red glare:

I like as well as dislike your choice same as zygote; your ability too address facts with 3rd person opinions is quiet uhm DOPE lol


V/Red

He did a lot of research, threw down just a little more then Z.

Good one guys
lmao


voting after a spliff and a double shot of espresso-o

[Aesthetic]

lmao


voting after a spliff and a double shot of espresso-o

Are you mad I voted for someone else?
What was that stuff about, free posting, swaying? Something about a vote deduction?

[Split]

Are you mad I voted for someone else?
What was that stuff about, free posting, swaying? Something about a vote deduction?

it was a more polite way of saying "nice 3 minute vote faggot"

deduct me idgaf, up to Keith. Point is, this is a championship match.

[Aesthetic]

it was a more polite way of saying "nice 3 minute vote faggot"

deduct me idgaf, up to Keith. Point is, this is a championship match.

You expect me too break down every fucking bar just too say "I like that one" Or "that wasn't as good as the last one" repetitively? Bitch please, they know who won; I know who won.

You aint gonna bitch at bent?

Get the fuck out of here

[dead man]

ok, im am just going to run and in an attempt to make out something of substance so my vote is clear. even though zyogote posted first im starting with red. yo..ive been steadily surprised by how much i actually enjoyed your verses, or at least those that ive read. still not quite sure who you are in alias form but its all good. case in point, i think it was brave from a competitive aspect to choose the form of verse - hyper conversational, unconventionally structured in terms of letters and rhythm it was definitely a bit draggy from the jump but as i grew more adapted to your intentions it became easier to read. my main issue is a single contrasting point that distinguished your verse form zygotes. you gave a very literal take on what a flashbulb memory for truman would have been like. you put something on a projector and seemed to lecture and give context to quotes rather than carve your own project. you did not scrape into something succinct and unique from your historical discourse which is truly how it felt. dates, times, dialogue that seemed unfocused at times.. i think what harmed you was your deliverance. all substance, half summary, no style. i didn't feel anything human about this piece of writing except that it involved them. i understand your ambition and determination to write something epic to overthrow the champ and i think people's hesitance to vote on this battle may stem from a collective guilt to fault either of you for the obvious efforts put in by both parties. however nearing 100 lines covering the ground you ultimately were able to really just came off as a huge stretch. there were huge holes on your part that lacked anything except a bridge.. a transitory points between essential components which should have made up every line of this, being the level of matchup this was. that being said, i think it was a fantastic effort on your part to do your research to the extent that i'm sure it took in order to write a fucking behemoth like this. i know this wasn't just off your head man. and if it was you must read textbooks in your sleep. ZYGOTE unlike red, you almost threw us into a world where we're supposed to already know how to navigate. the references and themes you speak on are not discussed as a historical concept marked on a calendar but as a reality and something being as it is in the moment. this focused not on the literal parallel between truman and truman's life, or events in the period etc. instead it took a central trait and ran with it, not what the statement from truman said, but what it didn't say.. the Petr Vilshenko exposition was enjoyable not only from the standpoint of it's exploration of nihilism under hypothetical conditions but as a second layer, discussion on the consequences of power and leadership, and third as a single rhyme scheme verse that especially impressed given the precision of subject matter.. i will not go on any longer with this but im glad i decided to stop in and break down this battle in particular. red i think you have everything you need to champ a league even as talented as the AOWL - but you're relying too much on yourself, and not trusting the reader to meet you halfway. if you let some of that control go as a writer you'll be surprised how it stays afloat.

im voting for zygote.



thanks guys

[Split]

okay.

zygote, I see what you did, using the topic as a point of debate instead of the typical 'something you have to prove is correct' approach. If we were ideal voters you wouldn't need that explanation at the end etc. I didn't find your writing as effective as usual, the characterization was incomplete, when the meaning seemed to revolve around your protagonist's seriousness attesting to why he was still in office/ able to stand behind the decisions he did.

mechanics were ok. word choice was nice and so was the dialogue. really started off solid, then I saw you resorting to 'roll phrases' (I dunno if there's a real word) where you use a phrase you've used before/ a cliche'd phrase, backwards wording, or a noticeably prolix line in order to continue rhyming or fill space.

I'm not sure if this was intentional. Perhaps you edited well, and thought about how your verse was going to be read very carefully- in which case it merely felt artificial to me. This is some criticism that I would only note in a championship match.

Not a bad verse by any means.


rg.
He sliced the american pie; giving everybody his portion; on a plate of porcelain design.
excellent metaphor.


You really, really, really rambled. It was like an outline to an excellent piece. No offense: it is almost like you forwent transitions and coherency in favor of line breaks. The morbid sense of humor that you portrayed the president having was cool, as was making dialogue rhyme- however a lot of the flow/ rhyming was artificial from repeating entire phrases (more on that in a second). I wish the conclusion had been more solid, could have carried/ shifted the massive momenta of your entire piece into driving home a single point or twist

Mechanically, really bad with spots of good. Intro was cool and well written, after that, just impressively slanty end rhymes and good structure... lots of sections approached lyrical and simply did not

.
Truman didn't know about the plans to build atomic bombs, they had been so top secret,
Even the Vice-President of the United States was not to 'breach it.
About three months after Truman became President, the Trinity Test took place.
The Trinity Test was the code name given to the first atomic bomb to successfully devastate.
The Trinity Test proved that atomic bombs would work, if they were needed to be used in war.
In August of 1945; the United States was still fighting in World War II
Against the nation of Japan...
Told about the successful Trinity Test of an atomic bomb, President Truman followed through on what Franklin had planned.
It was his hope that the power of the bomb and the damage it would cause might be enough to stop fighting,
So, an atomic bomb named “Little Boy” was dropped on the city like a swat of 6 billion watts of lightning.
When the Japanese didn’t surrender after the “Little Boy” bomb destroyed Hiroshima,
President Truman ordered that a second atomic bomb, called “Fat Man” be deployed; to ether.
Several days later, as President Truman considered using even more atomic bombs,
The Japanese decided to surrender, waving the white flag; with the red dot upon

ew. sorry man. I was not feeling this verse. It was more like talking points than a topical or story.

Vote. Zygote's felt off-balance and a little than enthusiastically written. I get the feeling he did not like this topic at all. Red Glare, stop writing half-cooked masterpieces.

V/ Zygote for a more cohesive verse with an endearing angle, that despite feeling awkward, in my opinion definitely knocked the top off of Red Glare's rambling and loose-laced shot at greatness, that if it had come to fruition would have gone toe-to-toe with Zygote's par.

[King Ra.]

ZYGOTE WINS, 5-3.