Once you've hit your peak, the next year is a wash

[dead man]

previously known as: ETHEREALITY, IN STAGES



Before the worlds collide ……


Night and day, Miss mezzaluna overlapping Her relatives
golden crescent half-cousins, Solaris' spastic development
dramatic, intelligent, red hair, flaring fiery as dusk,
Evil archangel God's children secretly lust ..
a media plug that even rumors & conspiracies trust -
so when she died, all of humankind was equally crushed.
the peaceful, the lush, soft grass, imagine it's vibrance,
where only babbling brooks could break a natural silence.
static eruption, brainstem buzzing, practically mindless
The beaten path of a pathogen programming its' virus,
projected demon - white plaster walls & holograms of Osiris
Phantom in a Peacoat, staged theatric disguises,
waterfall rock-walls, moss-coated, scattering cypress
robotic arms, solar charged automatic devices;
hands outstretched in a bow, tipped top-hats to your Highness
it's all downhill once a pattern arises..
if magic is priceless, physics fall into poverty,
cuz hope & prayer are the dominating modern commodities,
mysteries, unanswered crimes, such obvious oddities
like documenting laws to govern art or philosophy
balance primal id, instinctive ties, & hostile monogamy
constructing sandcastle properties for blossoming colonies,
divine apotheosis, known apostles of Socrates
Visible to the naked eye but not in photography.
a solid anomaly to spice the moment, stuck in this madness
purgatorial plateau between His dungeon and palace,
scales go bloody red when measuring our functional status,
it only takes a single shift to suddenly vanish -
there's another world around us, hidden under the magnets
where all emotional reactions trigger colorful flashes,
spectral seas, tsunami waves, a stunning abstraction
Chinese new year celebration in the lungs of a dragon ..
Voluptuous passions, shadowboxing candle reflections,
using liquor as a trojan horse to battle depression.
live every moment for it's imperfections, casual tension
and the adolescent pleasure of a vaginal entrance.
past or the present? take a sec to answer the question,
then summarize your reason in one accurate sentence.
evidence is clear - the human, sadness-dependent,
using history as a crutch to mask a lack of progression.
molasses black apparitions, Hades' shadowy henchmen
evaluate our mental state through telepathic assessments ;
reality's destined .. Etherealness is a practiced emergence
to transcend atomic bonding at it's tangible surface -
there's no man behind the curtain, no infallible purpose,
though we're not alone .. trust me, i'm a rational person.
gas matter resurges, transparent window locked from inside,
we've been dead since the minute we were oxygenized.
there's a faraway kingdom where apocalypse thrives,
promoting dollar beer specials & a positive vibe ..
Minds fry at early ages, but their bodies survive
it's never been so strangely clear ..

we've gotta collide.



DEADMAN

[zygote]

Top highlight line was a tie between the "using liquor as a trojan horse..." and "trust me, I'm a rational person." The first was sad and the second was humorous, it was enjoyable to read such lines contrast with the more cerebral ones. Also enjoyed different references, Chinese New Years and Wizard of Oz were great.

[Zen]

Finally a longer piece lol. Your wording is very unique like:

Night and day, Miss mezzaluna overlapping Her relatives
golden crescent half-cousins, Solaris' spastic development
dramatic, intelligent, red hair, flaring fiery as dusk,
Evil archangel God's children secretly lust ..
a media plug that even rumors & conspiracies trust
^^After reading that opening I was hooked...How the fuck can I possibly word shit like you forreal lol.

I agree with zygote too the serious lines followed by a more humorous line made them contrast together very well and give them a more profound meaning. Nice piece once again dead.

[dead man]

lol this is old, hence the title

but word thanks guys.

[dead man]

76 viewers viewing

[Vulgar]

Night and day, Miss mezzaluna overlapping Her relatives
golden crescent half-cousins, Solaris' spastic development
^I thought this was a stellar way to open up, but Solaris' spastic read like too chunky of a word-pair for me, putting a slight kink in the first bar.
dramatic, intelligent, red hair, flaring fiery as dusk,
Evil archangel God's children secretly lust ..
a media plug that even rumors & conspiracies trust -
so when she died, all of humankind was equally crushed.
the peaceful, the lush, soft grass, imagine it's vibrance,
where only babbling brooks could break a natural silence.
static eruption, brainstem buzzing, practically mindless
The beaten path of a pathogen programming its' virus,
projected demon - white plaster walls & holograms of Osiris
^White plaster - mismatch? Maybe bare Egyptian walls would be a better fit here. I don't see a hologram of Osiris relating well to that.
Phantom in a Peacoat, staged theatric disguises,
waterfall rock-walls, moss-coated, scattering cypress
robotic arms, solar charged automatic devices;
hands outstretched in a bow, tipped top-hats to your Highness
it's all downhill once a pattern arises..
if magic is priceless, physics fall into poverty,
cuz hope & prayer are the dominating modern commodities,
mysteries, unanswered crimes, such obvious oddities
like documenting laws to govern art or philosophy
^last line here struck a blank with me.
balance primal id, instinctive ties, & hostile monogamy
constructing sandcastle properties for blossoming colonies,
^Very raw line. I might've went with 'germinating sandcastle'
divine apotheosis, known apostles of Socrates
Visible to the naked eye but not in photography.
^Tight.
a solid anomaly to spice the moment, stuck in this madness
purgatorial plateau between His dungeon and palace,
scales go bloody red when measuring our functional status,
it only takes a single shift to suddenly vanish -
there's another world around us, hidden under the magnets
where all emotional reactions trigger colorful flashes,
spectral seas, tsunami waves, a stunning abstraction
Chinese new year celebration in the lungs of a dragon ..
^Vivid and impressive.
Voluptuous passions, shadowboxing candle reflections,
using liquor as a trojan horse to battle depression.
live every moment for it's imperfections, casual tension
and the adolescent pleasure of a vaginal entrance.
past or the present? take a sec to answer the question,
then summarize your reason in one accurate sentence.
evidence is clear - the human, sadness-dependent,
using history as a crutch to mask a lack of progression.
molasses black apparitions, Hades' shadowy henchmen
evaluate our mental state through telepathic assessments ;
reality's destined .. Etherealness is a practiced emergence
to transcend atomic bonding at it's tangible surface -
there's no man behind the curtain, no infallible purpose,
though we're not alone .. trust me, i'm a rational person.
gas matter resurges, transparent window locked from inside,
we've been dead since the minute we were oxygenized.
there's a faraway kingdom where apocalypse thrives,
promoting dollar beer specials & a positive vibe ..
Minds fry at early ages, but their bodies survive
it's never been so strangely clear ..

we've gotta collide.

--

I don't see a point in breaking it down with comments along the way since I really enjoyed this. It's inspiring and reads as a full incantation. The rhyming, correlation of subject matter, pacing, all of the above, were at a high level. I might've liked to have seen more intergalactic references, maybe to 'teach' the reader a concept of space and time or formulate a theory through a pattern of bars, which tie in at the end, explaining it pristinely. For your signature general approach, this went as smooth as they go. You have a globular intellect that houses a collection of outward telescopes; always observing, incorporating, projecting spheres to raise our standards of what can be said with a Blacketh verse.

Keep doing you