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Mitch
03-16-2014, 04:10 PM
Sometimes people write like they like complexity.
But they often lack the recipe.
Sounding like they're surrounded by enemies.
Projecting insecurities, disgracing the purity of memory.
Pretending to be the face of alternative hiphop,
Confusing lyrics with the purpose of a pay off,
or just to show off, Ima bouta go off on some mega faux pas,
intanet eddicat irrelevent when ever i setle Shit.
I'm'a settle shit. Ya'll peddle spit as if it's effective at attracting attention,
when its delicate, outside of internet never had a mention, or passing glance at.
Yall act advanced with lyrical concepts. I see the onset of your ego inflation,
your net worth drop with a law suit check work. You wanna fuck around I got connects. Lawyer with the flying saucer machine, Weiners are sausage, italian,
National tax feel the cost of. Bat Mobile, I'm in your space again, flying turf glow. Your words so vacant. Purple glow on my brain again, I'ma dinosaur.
Material grasp on your asses with the moose head in your under covers
abova your new bed. Crying, the baby feed hacked tapped supplying me eyes and ears by a backpack, I'm in your zone, jackasses, got toberlones in the back pockets, vikaden in the pocket protecter, dressed like a viking settler.
All you motherfuckers trying to be real emcees through a Tv screen, motherfuckers are weak.
Ill fry your enzymes in aluminum foil caps, then spread them to your family,
stage an alien attack, force them to wear them, haha, you got no parents,
im sorry, no im not, you'r a sorry snot face with a clot throat, after you see me in triple 3d, with electric prism face i haunt your kids and pets, i'll sit and nest in your basement with hoes and gangsters, I'm mobile, but i'm staying, Computer person with a billion different me's, being seeing in the outnets, drag your sister down for sex, beg your mother to town for chips, Scheme off your fathers pention, ID duplication, dopple ganger paper clips, I take this serious.

CopyPat
03-20-2014, 02:41 AM
i don't know what it was about this but i think i liked it. i think it was just really original, and didn't seem forced to me. like u had some kindof weird concepts/punches but they were definitely different. it was cool to see someone just write something that was pretty real to them, u didn't try to be something ur not kinda thing. the rhyming was a little weak in some spots, better in others. you have potential. the vocab and content was interesting for the most part, although the structuring and setup of the verse could use a little work. 29 posts, new guy yeah? you'll get better as long as u keep reading/feeding other ppls work and keep posting ur own. Canada EH? where?? I'm in Calgary





haha, word kool keith will do that to u.
check my open mic and tell me what u think

Mitch
03-20-2014, 02:52 AM
thanks for the feed copycat. I'm from Ontario. The structure on this one was intentionally fucked up just for something different, I like to do weird shit and each piece i write has a different structure. This really had no structure and was just rambling but some parts had nice flow i guess. I was listening to Kool Keith when i wrote this lol