PDA

View Full Version : Week 4 contender match: Vulgar (3-0) vs. Frank (3-0) \\ Frank wins 4-3


Certain
03-17-2014, 06:03 AM
http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png

Season 3



The Basics | Read the full rules here (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=54688).

Verses are due Friday at 11:59 p.m. PT. THERE ARE NO EXTENSIONS.

Votes are due Sunday at 11:59 p.m. PT.

Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words unless agreed upon by the opponent.

Voting on three battles is required. If you win and don't vote, you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your three votes in this thread (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=59559).


Topic


http://i.imgur.com/3R7n9Xs.jpg


Good luck, Vulgar and Frank.

Vulgar
03-21-2014, 08:10 PM
Scapegoats LEAD the herd.


Words can't convey enough;
a sentence serves as lessened thought
In a world where speechwriters remain speechless,
their pens reserved for cleric comp
insinuations shacked up in the towns of the single German septic flock
yet the Hindenberg's adept, and docked,
and all seems to be as cheerful as Winston Churchill's Dresden trot,
on rainy nights, his servicemen's umbrella tops
our inadvertent lexicon functions as symbols working extra long
hours to transform heaps to relevance:
make a majestic lodge out of a leper's cot
Rumors can start if anyone invokes the limbic nerves of selfish plots
- This is why the human formula isn't termed as jello shots -
So choose to use your cornea's and de-mist rhetoric Chechen pox
You mean to tell me you're convinced that Bilderberg electorates watch
the milky myrhh in melting pots to build an urban centrist bloc?!
If it's a sunny day in Kykuit,
would you rather it revert to endless drought?
Rockefeller Center's burning, wet the spout! The sinister tourettes come out
Mrs. Clinton is a pleasant grouch, the Rothschild's cynicism treads the crowd
feeding on our genetic clouds...wait, have you heard of such a weapon now?
Their purpose isn't wholly sketched in chalk, the writing on the wall's a joke
Occultist chimps in search of equinox,
or solutions birthed from cauldron smoke?
It's useless learning all the hoaxes,
do you know what you could do in half the time?
The Dukes of jewels and phallic shrines seduce to rule in Palestine -
Sounds far fetched: delusional, shrewd and asinine
like a rubix cube, the twists and turns of your deluge...is truly past its time
True reality isn't tangible; the best selling author merely reaches dust
The politician with his monacles of sacred power sees his peephole crushed
The all seeing "I... can't believe you extremist people actually believe this stuff.."
Delirium's tough, and yes... don't get me wrong, the tyranny sucks.
But even if you work out all the global hierarchy's musculature...
you'll still be "that" conspiracy buff.

Don't be a tumor in liberty's lung, a lesion of lore
Dreaming of gaudy, mustached elitist lord arachnids weaving these wars
Oversimplification of foreign policy matters ain't that easy a chore...
For instance, America originated from settlers, teepee's and fjords
while you were preoccupied with Weishaupt's "devious" seeds of accord
Leaving the doors open for nonsensical leering & more...
So what if Washington was a high ranking freemason?
You believe this shit, George?!

Word-based theories can't explain the world
I think you're dreaming the part
cause even the illuminated ones need candlelight to see in the feverish dark


Yours truly, with undying skepticism,
PancakeBrah

Frank
03-22-2014, 03:57 AM
If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission.

Squad car sirens wailing towards the scene of the crime -
Blue embezzling race.
White iris of the spiraling sirens - upsetting reddish display.
Cops sever the lane, speeding through the back alley way infested with strays
Screeching tires splatter cats coating wheels in leathery mange.
The helicopter barrels above the buildings, the booming-propeller of blades
The chemical vapes off the cold krylon can into a misty peppering spray
..
The legend takes a few steps backwards, measuring the space:
tilting his head to get the dimensions correct - only then will he paint
"The revolution will not be televised" A sketch from his page:
Bold, crescent lettering slanted slanderously like spelling in slang.
Each letter stains, forever imbedded in the grain where it inevitably stays.
The false agenda engraved
"Don't sweat the technique" tattooed in the veins - never erased
The impulse to be recognized until I'm either dead or disgraced
No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever a waste.


The sirens bleed through the city steets, dripping fear into the hearts already emblazed:
Mayhem develops on the center stage:
The epidemic barricades off sections separated with yellowish tape.
Bellowing tanks echo the megaphone messages taped:
"PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON AND STEP AWAY FROM THE MURAL WITH YOUR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD DIRECTLY RAISED"
Back pedal and pace backward towards my voice, in demented rage.
The perpetrator slowly removes his hand from the weathered crate.
The high beams of the helicopter flood him, as he attempts an escape.
'Lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil, forgive us our trespassing'
He makes a break for the thresh of the gate.
Squad cars sandwich him in, the fenders, he bends, blending in the texture of paint.
..
The officer goes to the wall - and rubs his hands on his uniform, still wet with the trace...
[compressed in the scape]
The policemen are completely puzzled by the clever fade, and wait, staking out the place before surrendering -

Graffiti is beautiful like a brick meant for the face of the cop - unsuspectingly phased.
A wall is a very big weapon. It's one of the nastiest things you can hit someone with.
And render them blank.
..
Follow your dreams, cover your footsteps to whats left of the base
Do more - feel more - be more and never forget
There's no such thing as bad publicity at the end of the day.
The etcher waved the spray can dwelling, forever
Now, a member to the pressure of fame
They can censor the scepter but the crook remains.
Some people become cops because they want to make the world a better place.
Others become vandals cause they want to make the world a better looking place.




http://i.imgur.com/n4ZIqGe.jpg?1

Adonis
03-23-2014, 12:32 PM
So this is a tough vote.Vulgar, you went deep with this, filling it chalk full of references that most,honestly I just didn't get. The rhythm was nice, you've grown a strong propensity to syllable counts which I don't recall FROM PR, nice upgrade. To me, this verse was face value about govt. And the world and woes we have. The recurring theme was thought being true,but being able to convey exactly,to the T, that thought is impossible. Nice concept. I can quote multiple lines, not because of flow although for the most part that was spot on, but for the content. Thank you for the read, I appreciate the thoughts and admire the talent. And I won last week ;) I wasn't sure about the cake thing in the end however.

Frank, I loved the ending stanza, a motivational piece for the competition of sorts. The flow was decent, I simultaneously appreciated and disliked the fact some bars are stretched for content sake and still rhymed, but that being secondary. The story was good, you are as always most descriptive. Rhymes were Def not V's level.


Not sure how many votes this battle will get because of the deep concepts and tough vote. I enjoyed both very much. You actually took similar routes in which you spoke of a man defacing and striping the world or govt. Down. While glare had a nice story, I did appreciate the depth of Vulgar's verse. The fact that he all but outrite said those, while a pictures worth a thousand words, thought I'd worth a thousand pictures.


Voting for Vulgar

oats
03-23-2014, 02:29 PM
Vulgar: it took me a little bit to start getting into this verse. around when the jello shots line, I had a hard time figuring out what you were talking about, but you subverted that confusion well in the following lines by humanizing the conspiracy theorist and making him into a tragic hero of sorts - even the most radical/delusional people really are just trying to make things better, regardless of how legitimate their explanations are. What also really helped me get into this is the entirety of the second half of this verse had a distinct flow and rhyme structure that made it, dare I say, fun to read. I think the undertow of humor in here also pushed the otherwise heavy subject matter in a way that made it enjoyable, even if I didn't catch all the allusions or know what you were referring to at all times. Overall this was a tough verse to get into, but a rewarding one after you give it the multiple re-reads that it deserves.


Frank: This, too, took me a handful of reads to really get into it. Part of it is the sheer density of imagery you pack into each line - at first read it can be overwhelming, but once I settle into it more some of those descriptions stick out as excellent atmospheric tools. Although your storytelling gets a lot of shine, I've always been impressed with your descriptive abilities, which you use to engross the reader into the story. In any case, the rhymes started to stand out midway through the verse, and the drumming assonance helped carry me through.

I like how you bounced back in the story from one perspective to the other, helped the pacing and added a tension to the verse, which, if you break it down, was fairly uneventful. There were strong conceptual elements bandied about the verse, but the last line summed up your main point well - both cops and graffiti artists really want the same thing, they just go about it differently. It was a dope verse overall.

Vote: This is close, I liked a lot about both verses, and struggled a little bit with both as well. I expect that personal preference in style will determine the winner of this match, because the verses are both good enough to win. But what tilted it in Vulgar's favor for me was how direct he was in handling the subject matter, whereas Frank opted to keep the intellectual meat in the peripherals. Like I said, tough call, as both of these are easily two of the top 4 verses this week, just had to respond to what I connected with more. Dope battle, BOTW easy imo.

NYCSPITZ
03-23-2014, 09:22 PM
Pease excuse the brevity here but I must say, this was an outstanding match. Vulgars was hilariously written and shed humorous psychological insight upon the brah. Franks was an expertly crafted tale of vandalism with the usual dope description, flow and sense of grandeur. I am going with my favorite verse this week and giving frank the victory. Thanks for writing

King Ra.
03-24-2014, 12:36 AM
BOTW. You both don't know how difficult this vote is for me right now. This should be a championship match because you both wrote like you want the title. Vulgar, you basically did what you do best, especially because of the picture you got this week, which most would agree fits your type of writing. And you tackled this the way I thought you would. I have to say though, what really impressed me was the fluidity when reading your piece. It was damn near perfect. One of the more polished work you've done rhyming wise. Nothing fell out of place. And what drove the smoothness of your piece more was the way you managed to pack it with so much content, without sacrificing the mechanics and just rhyming anything together to make it work. Excellent. While some may not have understood the content, I most certainly do because I've studied/read most of the subjects/concepts you mentioned in your piece, and I too would have probably wrote something similar. All in all, this was written exceptionally well, and you did the picture justice by describing every aspect therein in your own creative way. Good work. Frank, you too blew me away with your piece. Your writing doesn't have that same level of fluidity as Vulgar's piece, though for the most part, it reads well, but what makes your story stand out as almost always with your drops is the excellent descriptions and attention to detail that you packed in immensely. You went with your classic end rhyme style and just killed it from beginning to end. The amount of imagery is ridiculous, and I've noticed this season, it's been one of your strongest traits thus far. You managed to tell a story and then end it with a reality-like momento and I thought that graphic with the league members names on the very picture you and your opponent were writing to was slick and fresh.

There really isn't much more one can say on the positive side of things in relation to your pieces. They both went in different directions, but they both were extremely well written. So difficult to vote on a winner here. On one side you have Vulgar's exceptional writing, rhyme scheme masterful and a piece filled with great content and knowledge and on the other side a descriptive, image packed story that stays on point from beginning to end.

This one is a bit too much to vote a clear cut winner. I'm gonna come back to this and edit in my decision.

Certain
03-24-2014, 02:24 AM
King Ra., we could use a vote.

YDK
03-24-2014, 02:42 AM
this was cool as shit lol Vulgar it took me a bit to really catch the flow in your verse which is extremely rare but I thought it evened out and ended up being a really strong verse...except for the last line. clever but not exactly something i'm partial to-dissing somebody especially when not even involved in the match.
Frank, awesome take on the topic man. flow and imagery was strong as always and the story while not the most original had plenty of original turns of phrase with a sort of funny ending. also it was a nice tough adding everybody in the league to the pic while stating in the verse that the character was just making things look better.
I actually got Frank taking this slightly easier than I expected this week.
good shit fellas

e11even
03-24-2014, 03:24 AM
Vulgar- You are a monster. You are in a peak form(Relative, obviously) and you really put some solid work into this PSA. I love the perspective take on the topic. This was a mix of a punch in the face with a little tongue in cheek. Very well written with top tier execution (again, relative). Great job.

Frank- I really liked how you took a cliche angle and revamped it into a battle cry of revolution for the underdog. This is a FRANK verse. This content explains what I feel you represent. The conviction was there. The story was told with great pacing, and the voice was very consistent and solid. Your rhyming was seemingly Vulgar's equal imo. I feel like this was a powerful piece and even though you had the visual aid, it was unnecessary. Great Job.

You two really dropped balls on this piece. Hit the ground running and impressed me thoroughly. I feel like I'd be shitting on one to pick the other, but one guy has to win.

MVGT Frank. THough both were great, the tongue in cheek skepticism angle can't beat revolutionary empowerment!! That wasn't very funny. :(