It Should Be Expected...

[Rawn MD]

Short Swag n Flow verse

Musically, I'm So charged...
No farce, Im fluidly Harpo Marx w joke cards, and a gold harp
A fluently tone sharp Amadeus Mozart mixed with van Gough drog art
In a boneyard of ubiquitous Ozarks, being split with a trochar
Skin thick as a grown shark, resistant to solar, sickness and sonar
They don't know war, I'm Carl von Clauswitz, on the fritz
Draped in a nondescript coat with Vutton imprints taking vodka sips
Innately lost hope; confident in how glock's kick n roger grips
with a bitch, strapped to load on that bondage tip, who wants the dick
I'm donned 'The Prince,' my code of omerta is hold, or fair tough
At home in the harshest weather, since polar bear rugs and arctic winters
My heart hits tempers that cause octave timbres in odd offences
Raise'n cop suspicions, parlay in yachts for business with pocket stipends
drinkin liquors they stop dispensin'

http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=59225
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=60038

[Certain]

Why would you brag about being Harpo Marx? He was No. 3 in his own family. Most of this didn't make sense. "Boneyard of Ozarks"? "I'm donned The Prince"?

[PancakeBrah]

Average at best.

[razor wayans damon blades]

ithink the feed is harsh. cuz of lack of depth!

There is a few discrepancies I noticed

"My heart hits tempers that cause octave timbres in odd offences "

That is a far stretch of words! You heart hits tempers(?) <temperatures>(?) that cause octave timbres, that's a far fetched pitch but, it isnt bad, its just the end that throws me off a tadbit! "odd offences" ? Hmmmm! Explain that one

the opening was a bit all over the places trying to intermingle rhyme schemes with words from previous stanzas, or over enunciate assonance like vowel undertones, in this case the "ui" monosyllabic extension is used but the line itself, seems a bit forced, causing the rhyme 2 suffer!!

"Musically, I'm So charged...
No farce, Im fluidly Harpo Marx w joke cards, and a gold harp "

oh my, youre all over the place rawn! But this isnt bad. It was a relaxed swaggy piece. keep on brethren