ARTEMIS ROADKILL

[dead man]

new conviction, noose affliction, hang me to pass
euphemism - true religion, related at last
neutralism, view the prism, stop. find your description
find agreement, peer reviews, now it's science to children
objectivity and symbolism. divided conditions
numbers represent a thirst for quantifiable wisdom
moral fiber and fiction - imagination's faithful regrets
ACT like you have a future while you're taking the test.
SAT upon your chair, where darkness carefully crept -
theres no blanket or breast that can replicate the safety of death
aquarius wept a water-world Atlanticus prime
showed my face at Sunday mass and watched a pastor resign
it's not passionate drive. or maybe that's all that it is,
coughing charcoal arteries and carcinogens
while roadkill rots and fertilizes, Artemis lives
twin dragon arson persists. firefights, Apolloan myths
spit on your gravestone to prove a zombie exists
but he's never seen a coffin or crypt.

say hello




1

[PancakeBrah]

Not that well acquainted with Greek mythology, so some of the allusions and their implicit meaning were lost on me. From what I could gather this was quite enjoyable.

neutralism, view the prism, stop. find your description

^Enjoyed that line quite a bit. You can't play Hamlet. The fact that the neutralism/view the prism multi not only works as rhyme but a concept is neat. But those types of things are a penchant for you, it seems.

objectivity and symbolism. divided conditions
numbers represent a thirst for quantifiable wisdom

^Cool.

theres no blanket or breast that can replicate the safety of death

^That, too.

I didn't like the ACT/SAT allusions and wordplay. Other than that this was straight fiyah holmes. Favorite scheme was either the euphemism track or Apolloan myths. Readers more familiar with the myths might enjoy this even more than I did, but even in the portions where the message was a bit muddy for me I still enjoyed the form. Good stUff, fer sure.

[Split]

Sup man. Welcome... the punctuation, academic references, and subtle but bullseye'd multis and slants feel muy familiario

but what really rings a bell for me is the dimly lit metaphors branching out from the heart of the verse into abstract aspects of being human... the way you sidestepped the artificial feel of indirect concepts with authentic false memories/ actual memories that somehow make readers feel nostalgic. Seven degrees of separation of the collective conscience lolol. I bet you enjoyed writing this verse more than you enjoy reading it. Even if you didn't, that's the type of storyteller you seem to be.

moral fiber and fiction - imagination's faithful regrets

that line fits perfectly in the flow of the verse, and yet feels like it was built one word at a time. love it haha.

showed my face at Sunday mass and watched a pastor resign
it's not passionate drive. or maybe that's all that it is,
coughing charcoal arteries and carcinogens
while roadkill rots and fertilizes, Artemis lives
twin dragon arson persists. firefights, Apolloan myths
spit on your gravestone to prove a zombie exists

Cool as hell. I liked reading this a lot. keep keyin, dead man.

[zygote]

Greetings dead man. Opening lines were the top highlight along with Atlanticus prime. The word Atlanticus especially being some new and interesting word to read and find its meaning.

[Geno]

Showed my face at Sunday mass and wattched a pastor resign. -wow. Feeling that shit

Good to see you black. I could be wrong, but this style seems very much like his.

Whole piece was flooded with subtle metaphors, very dope way to say something and then define it suddenly and shortly thereafter with a couple different words. Your definitely one of the masters of this particular technique.

Glad to see you bruh. Keep writing, stay active

[dead man]

who is "black"

[dead man]

RZAREKT