Week 6: Mike Wrecka (2-3) vs. King Ra. (2-3) \\ King Ra. wins 5-4

[Certain]

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png

Season 3



The Basics | Read the full rules here (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=54688).

Verses are due Friday at 11:59 p.m. PT. THERE ARE NO EXTENSIONS.

Votes are due Sunday at 11:59 p.m. PT.

Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words unless agreed upon by the opponent.

Voting on three battles is required. If you win and don't vote, you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your three votes in this thread (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=62543).


Topic


“Life can only be understood backwards.” — Søren Kierkegaard


Good luck, Mike Wrecka and King Ra.

[Mike Wrecka]

http://www.reconnections.net/dying_man.jpg
in the hospital , naked and weak unable to speak,
if life bubbles to the surface, than my ladle is deep,
this elder statesman is facing something fatal,complete,
cause its a one way trip on this fateful retreat,
death can be costly, and unfortunately the payment is grief,
only hope now is my faith in an ancient belief,
stood for something, but never took the occasional seat,
lived a long life but it was still painfully brief,
now while I lay on the operating table a beep,
indicates that I can finally become an angel and sleep,
but first the pages I keep, or kept are all read,
my life story is over, but im not what I would call dead,
at that instant, that very moment in time,
I see my whole existence flash right in front of my eyes,
http://timothywest.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/bright-light-16250.jpg
looking back
to being told I only had a few weeks to live,
now that's not the kind of news I could easily give,
to my wife and kids, so that's the reason I hid,
the diagnosis from them for as long as I did,
I was worried, they wouldn't be able to handle the news,
and would tell me, dad don't go to heaven, refuse!
but I was ready to move, and choose the next phase,
wasn't afraid even as my soul was fading away,
colored by the numbers, but in the end the shading was grey
and im sad to say for me that day is today,
http://ak1.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/2193679/preview/stock-footage-long-shot-of-a-grandfather-and-grandson-making-a-sandcastle.jpg
then my mind, travels to a time, when things were actually better,
like me and my grandson building sandcastles together,
he wrote P-O-P using shells in all capital letters,
now those are the moments that should be captured forever,
but trying to relive the past is a backwards endeavor,
cause deep down inside you know that isn't happening, ever,
never lacking pressure but feel like a weight has been lifted,
as I travel further back and survey my existence,
I remember the days that my own children were christened,
and keeping them safe was my primary mission,
used to just listen in the distance, when they played in their room,
a proud fathers like a gardener, watching them bloom,
but they out grow their home if something isn't stopping them soon,
so you wish you could place them inside a frozen cocoon,
as my journey resumes, on this time continuum, space crawl,
I envision me and my son practicing baseball,
taught him how to throw a curve at the age of fifteen,
and that contributed to him being the best pitcher on his team
http://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2009/06/dadcatch.png
we were so proud
speaking of we, i wish I could cuddle my wife,
give me one last moment with the love of my life,
on our first date, she wore something so tight,
that my heart was racing like I had been running all night,
she looked stunning in the light, provided by the moon,
and I became intoxicated by the scent of her perfume,
we fell in love, and on the day I was deployed,
I asked her to marry me, she said yes, and I was overjoyed,
as I got on the train to head towards the base,
I reached out of the window and I lifted her up by the waist,
and we embraced
http://s3.favim.com/orig/43/black-and-white-couple-love-lovely-old-Favim.com-366670.jpg
but now that all seems erased, im in the void of space,
everything is black and I feel destroyed, misplaced,
but that's not the case, realize I just relived my life in reverse,
and then im overcome with understanding, and experience a rebirth,
instantaneously transported back to earth,
and float above my body that's in the back of a hearse,
my soul is let free, I spring wings and fly,
but not before I have the chance to wave goodbye
http://www.kinokultura.com/2008/stills/21/wind1.jpg

[King Ra.]

Ra.
presents....

"EFIL LANRETE": The Secret Key of the Universe.

"Are you willing to risk everything to learn the most ancient of secrets?"
"Yes.... I am."
.
.
.
Sir Andrew stood at the mouth of the cave, heavily breathing.
He finally made it to 'The Sacred Chambers of Eden.'
He couldn't believe it. All were in doubt of his mission.
The countered his vision, stating, "You fool! You're bound to get missing!".
Andrew never was one to be pulled down to restrictions.
He had a bountiful spirit.... every adventure he sought til completion.
The many nights that were sleepless, sifting through scrolls & leaflets.
Discoveries were so frequent. All had become subject to witness.
Needless to say, here he stands without any hint of weakness.
Strengthened by his drive to never be confounded by limits.
He lit his torch. The flame came to be and began his descension.
Every step meticulous. The darkness within seemed endless.
He remembered each sentence. Every detail & description.
.... at the heart of the chamber, one will encounter the first apparition.
Andrew remained very attentive, then came to a sudden stop.
His heart throbbed as the first figure suddenly appeared, horrendously menace.
.
.
efiL lanretE....
Listen to I. My words are divine.
For within them lies the secret to life.
The cosmic design-
since the beginning, the marker of Time.
The stars, sun & moon often align.
Celestial movements spark a divide.
The key is forever revealed in the skies.
The one whom opens their eyes,
will awaken. Forever to realize.
Do not fear I, for I am a guide.
Look! The first secrets revealed!
The answer you shall find."
.
.
"D (L) E (I) A (F) T (E) H".
.
.
Andrew stared at the clue. But he didn't understand it completely.
Death? Life?
The thought of it made him start to feel a bit uneasy.
It didn't help that the first apparition looked creepy.
He took a deep breath. Allowed some time to let himself think clearly.
His mind raced through quotes & concepts. All of which he kept dearly.
Living to die? Dying to live?
His mind raced freely, quickly.
Then once more, another apparition appeared & stopped him briefly.
.
.
lanretE efiL....
Many have walked the path. Others sought what you seek.
The future & past. Both are the heart of it's beat....
The Universe.
So unique. Magnificent. Complete.
Those who decipher the key become one with the Deep.
Pay attention. Believe. Everything in-between.
And fear not!
For you will soon enter the land of infinite peace.
.
.
"D (L) E (I) A (F) T (E) H".
.
.
Just as before, the same code appeared before his eyes.
Only now, Andrew finally understood the meaning this time.
He shut his eyes, tears fell. He felt nothing but happiness inside.
He looked up & saw a bright light shine before he died.
.
.
efiL lanretE... lanretE efiL...
Life Eternal. Eternal Life.
.
.
.
Death is the beginning, birth is the end.
It's the hidden code of the Bible.... if you truly want to dive in.
Earth is the womb. When you're born, you're stuck in it's tomb.
Only those who find the truth within are never consumed.
Andrew discovered this, too. Unlocked the key to Eden, the entrance.
He always knew there was more to life and purpose in his existence.
Never dismiss it, it's beyond divine intervention. No passwords.
Kiekergaard said it best:

"Life can only be understood backwards."



In death, there is life.
-The King.

[Certain]

This was Frank's vote, and it stands:

Epic

Wow

Epic not in the sense of lyrical miracle, but more miracle lyrical. The presentation in this battle set the bar for what a dope battle should look like. What a ticket. These two put on a show. Mike started with a classic flow out the gate and than trailed off into mediocrity rhyme wise but the story, rather timeline with pictures and flashbacks and shit happening was entertaining forreal. This shit was a movie. Well done, Roll the credits. Killed the topic. 4 big apples out of 5. Nice work.
King Ra almost rivaled the photography with pure showmanship, an incredibly refined lay out with bold lettering and all that jazz. Maybe the best in the game at that. The wordplay was decent but the ancient tone is throw back king ra so I was glad to see you in your lane. Not really a long verse but definitely shook off the last of the rust this week

Gotta give it to Mike Wrecka with destroying the topic at hand

[timeless]

Mike, this started out dope but drifted into a not-so entertaining read. I felt the story you had going was stagnant, there wasnt nothing really that made me say "dope". Thats not to take away from your imagery though, was classic. Could paint it all perfectly. Just that I couldnt get down with the story it just needed something idk what. The pictures dont really help the story any, it annoys me if anything. Your imagery is dope enough, no need for the photos to represent it more. Not bad though overall mike.

King, This was dope man Ra. Although it did start off slow, you more than made up for it. Loved the take on the topic, it was pretty refreshing to read. Your flow was on point for the most part, wording and wordplay as well. The opening verse seemed a little rushed, force wording especially at the end. But other than that, I have to say this was my favorite verse to read this week. Good shit king.

V. King ra

[Adonis]

Keith, the concept behind this is simply immaculate. I have strange beliefs in life regarding death and after life this shit opened my eyes on a touchy subject. The voice of God, at least I presume who that is, those stanzas had superb flow. This style you own. Verse's written in said tone would be worthy of crown in these parts no doubt. The rest flowed good, but there of syllable counts here and there.... Understand it completely.Fill a bit uneasy....then solid flow... Doubt of his mission..bound to get missing...however the later line is not how a normal conversation would or would be said. Points off for taking the flow route over content, not like you, find the happy median. All in all. A verse about the purpose of life, yet you actually touched on said true purpose on so many philosophical levels containing decent flow and still maintaining elite content is flooring. A rare talent you have while firing in ask cylinders. Enjoyable read. Thankfull I am.

Mike rizzi, most of the wording and phrasing is so dope, but you know me. The first stanza was to tough to get through. I hate the line breaks into a full bar for rhymes sake. It doesn't work for me because, I know this isn't audio but it is to me, if you were to read aloud or record and re-listen those lines would destroy flow over wax. If that. Makes sense. To you. Mike. The concept is rather dope, I felt like the use of pictures, although original is cool, s bit cheap. This is a game of words,you should be able to explain those pics clearly with out ever having to post them, and I would get the same point across because of your level of skill regarding detail of words. All in all, great concept, decent execution overshadowed by images, someone else's images, rather than (not then) words


Vote king

His verse not only resonated on higher level, but was just more enjoyable for my personal preference's sake

Truly dope battle, honestly a top 3 of entire season easily. Mike. Your verse would have won against 95% all verses this season,regardless of what I perceive as errors. Fantastic story and concept, again, Ra just wrote onto my heart strings si joto

[zygote]

MW this effort was deceptively simple, the reverse chronology was well executed and perhaps writing like that is a lot more difficult than it seems. The reverse timeline was also the main draw card, which does not mean other aspects were less interesting, only that they were secondary in terms of what drew me in. The rhyming technique was nice as well, you emphasized the rhymes in some parts and lessened their importance in others, the conversational tone was really very good. You captured nostalgia with a touch of foreshadowing loss, which is great considering we know how it will end. If only one criticism, it is that the last paragraph seems unnecessary, you did very well in expressing all those closing sentiments with just the general tone of the entire writing. While MW's device (the reverse chronology) was new and interesting, KR's device (the palindromic/backwards stuff) was a little lackluster in comparison, but only in comparison. It's difficult, because the device was enjoyable, but it just didn't comapare well to MW's refined device. One was very personal, the other fantastical, one device was nuanced and overarching, the other was repeated in specific sections in capital letters. KR established that da Vinci code kind of feel and that was good, but in comparison it didn't match up well. Voting for MW.

[oats]

Mike: A lot to like about this verse, it was like the story of everyone's grandpa. You nailed a lot of the key points in a person's life, and kept the specter of death looming in the underbelly to give it a tragic sense of nostalgia. As a side note, I think I would have preferred this without the pictures. Not that the pictures were enough to sway the battle in any which way, just personal preference.

I think the only thing this verse lacked was a zing of some sort, a standout bar or idea that stays with me after I finished. The whole verse felt very safe, which isn't a bad thing necessarily, but it just doesn't stick out to me in one way or another. Overall I'd say this was good, but not great.


Ra: You opened by enveloping us into an Indiana Jones type world, which immediately sucked me into the atmosphere. There's always something lurking in your writing, something sinister and mysterious that hints at more. It makes your work fun to read, a very distinct voice that I enjoy.

The story was strong, and it never lost my attention, but I did have a gripe, and that was that it's hard to deliver on such a massive promise (the ancient secret of life!), and this fell short on that delivery. You nailed the feeling of ancient, but the secret part felt a little underwhelming as a climax. I almost would have preferred to have my emotions subverted and have Andrew get slaughtered unceremoniously, yielding the secret of life: it is pointless. Or something like that, maybe not so nihilistic, but you get what I'm saying. If you don't actually know a secret of life, it's better to leave it a little more open I guess is what I'm saying.


Vote: This was a tough decision. Both came correct on all but minor gripes I had, and the writing was pretty much equal as well. The strength of Wrecka's was the emotion, and the strength of Ra's was the atmosphere, and in that regard King Ra stuck out a little bit more to me. This is one of those personal preference battles that will have an arbitrary outcome, both did their thing and had very dope verses. Good match, gentlemen.

[e11even]

MW- this was kinda dope. I think the literal translation of the topic was pretty effective here. I wasn't blown away, but this piece, fully equipped with your trademark crispy flow and steady cadence made this less of a drag - on piece. I think having the pictures was a very smart move, as it broke up the ordinary content and revived it in between stanzas. Good job.

Ra.- this was a pretty tight drop on the face of it. This was very elaborate and interesting. I really dug the concept but felt you fell a little short on wording for rhyming. Some parts seemed a little forced and inconsistent with the flow of the thoughts you were trying to get across. For me, that was a little distracting, but it wasn't aweful. Great display overall. Good job.

Both you guys did a good job. I think both of these verses would do great against other competitors, but I feel like something could have done better on both sides to make the verses more enjoyable. My choice comes down to the overall more enjoyable read. MVGT Ra. For going more outside the box and capturing the topic with more imagination.

[Witty]

MW - This is my favourite verse of this week, there have been two verses that were probably mechanically and conceptually more complex but sometimes it is the simple pieces that really connect the most, which is a point I always try to get across when people complain about lack of vocab. It isn't about how big the words are, it is about how the words connect with you and impact you, and this verse impacted me a lot to be honest, shit was pretty emotional. You did a great job of portraying a dying man, looking back over his life, wishing he could relive those moments, but death takes us all and there is no point going backwards. Great piece man.

King Ra - This was also a very interesting and enjoyable piece, the opener was definitely the strongest part and I liked the creativity with the eternal life backwards shit, that was a pretty cool addition and added a bit of flavour to the piece. The wording was off a few times, and I thought it was pretty bland in terms of rhyming, but you told the story well, it had a very mystical and eery feel to it, and the fact that you were able to portray that over the internet is reason for props. The earth is a womb line was very dope also, good shit.

nice battle, gonna vote for Mike Wrecka

[big baby]

Both thought out well but I dont the execution on both parts wasnt as suggested or intended. I'm not motivated to write a big vague piece so Ill wrote short and give ample voting to this league.

King - Nice story. It was missing elements though, almost just added in why it was best understood backwards, though I understand your intention. The scenery and imagery was decent and your mechanics were enhanced by your syllable count in each line. It was cool. You had the clue, that lost scroll, that was pretty easy to decipher. Andrews a moron. But, I liked what you had going on. It was almost Zygoteish. Exquisite. Yet, lacking.

Mike - You had a dope thought out part. But I think you lacked in execution as well, I liked where you were going, I also though the ending was subpar. You were kind of on an opposite keel as King, where his started pretty slow but ended strong, and vice versa. Yours didnt end slow, it just ended a bit tacky; but I can see why you made it like that. It was cool, the entire concept. You had sort of a benjamin button thing going on, and that was cool. It was just almost too benajmin button-ish. The war, the son/father thing. Seemed a tad unoriginal, though the underlying theme was great.

I'll have to give it to king, who had a bit of a more clearer, and original take. GJ GUYS.

[Certain]

Mike Wrecka: I appreciated the head-on approach here, but I think you failed to stick the landing with as much meaning as you had hoped. Part of this was that, even as you described this character's life with plentiful detail, you never gave him a real personality. A lot can be said for changing writer's voice to reflect a first-person narrator, and while the changes don't have to be drastic, some rhetorical device like that could have given your verse more life. The flow was, as always, buttery smooth, and the content was fleshed out and well-executed. But I never felt emotionally invested in this character, and that made the resolution and the entire build up to it less satisfying.

King Ra.: Your writing style is too showy for me, all the way down to how you center your verses and give them offset titles and use bold and italcs. You're going for enormous, which I could appreciate if the actual content of the verses delivered more often. That somewhat happened here. You went for another hugely decadent idea in which you were going to tell us the meaning of life or something, wrapped in codes and ciphers and more, and you struggled to deliver on that profundity with your writing and with your content. Your word choice was smooth and natural, but I expected something bigger for this scope of a story. The same is true of the content. That makes this a tough vote because Mike Wrecka stuck to the basic path, while King Ra. was very ambitious. But my preference is more about execution than anything else.

Vote: Mike Wrecka