AOWL WK12: ThisIsDAM (0-0) VS. Innovator (4-6) [THISISDAM WINS, 5-1.]

[King Ra.]

16 lines minimum, 48 lines maximum. (if agreed upon by both participants, you may go beyond the limit at your own risk.)

Verses are due WEDNESDAY 5/15 at 11:59 PST.
Extensions are due THURSDAY 5/16 at 11:59 PST.
(There is a 6 hour grace period following the end of the extension deadline. If you fail to post anything by the end of the grace period time, you will be given the no show loss.)

You must vote on at least 4 other battles and post links in the Voting Thread. For every absent vote, you will be deducted ONE vote next week.

Voting ends MONDAY 5/20 at 11:59 PST.(Unless otherwise it may be extended another day at the most.)

You MUSTcheck in.

If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.

NOTE:
Swaying, excessive freeposting, voter fraud etc. are grounds for vote deductions at discretion of the moderators.
Editing your verse after the grace period, after your opponent posts, or after the first vote (especially this)- as well as biting- are grounds for disqualification at discretion of the moderators.


TOPIC: Your job this week is simple.... you can either use the title of the book or the image on the cover as your main idea for your piece this week. Whatever you are able to come up with.

http://i44.tinypic.com/bi8qs1.jpg



Good luck to both participants. ThisisDAM Innovator

[Inno]

Fuck u faggit

[ThisisDAM]

Fuck u faggit

Charming. Here. Good Luck.

Celestial Gallery

I'd lay in the grass,
Whether radiant, glad or angry & mad
The stars in the sky were apart of my life
Wishing & hoping to stay in the past
But, to live in the moment with glee
I'd watch the big dipper pouring it's glow over me
An uncontrollable need, disposable seeds
Whose purpose was worthless for growing belief
That, with every shooting star, the truth is hard
You make a wish that breaks with it's proof afar
I stared so deep, not knowing that the madness nears
The milky way would never make the path so clear
The green of the fields would capture tears, each declined
I wasn't searching for heaven but merely a peace of mind
Pointing at something I could never explain
The skies, the stars, the weather, the rain
Celestial plains, a land of hope where no days go violent
A stroke of the brush & run across a rainbow smiling
But today, there was something different a midst
I saw the connection I shared with this glittery gift
There were clues in the air, rarely were so random, varied
I never was strong, so nope, I couldn't be the Ram of Aries
Next to wear I lay, my families buried, the aura is full
The crimson was no match for the strength of Taurus the bull
They went hand in hand, but nothing like Thunder & rain
Pools of sadness from Geminis Twins, always double the pain
No courage, I was frightened wherever people were dyin
No king of my jungle, disappointing my friend Leo the lion
I made so many mistakes, their death was for certain my burden
I'll never be perfect, or pure as Virgo the virgin
There's always two sides to a story, if you even fail
All the bumps in the road, as if your feet were reading braille
You could balance it out, then leave a trail
Yet the pain outweighs it all, tipping over Libra Scales
It hurt, this is what the unfortunate brings
My eyes blink every second,
More then a pinch of Sagittarius's arrow or Scorpios sting
I wanted to be magic born, not tragic, scorned
Beyond a goat led by a herder named Capricorn
No fairy dust, I couldn't fly but still in the air I trust
Swimming in sadness pools like Pisces in the Age of Aquarius
Then it hit me, my connection to this dancing with the skies
It wasn't a romancing in disguise,
But, the blindness it gave me...Cancer of the eyes

[Inno]

The Devils Plight

Its like moving scriptures, the clouds written pictures
Of the dreams i fracture, they hang from the raptors
As reminders of my failures throughout my tenure
And it never gets better out casted as the ultimate sinner
The supreme wicked one, the darkness personified
Deemed a sick son, prettified I leave faultless pride
Dammed to a deep slum I am pesticide with a thoughtless stride
A hero to no one, no favors given and ive never owed one
Shun by the known son I labor to slip in to his kingdom an soil his gums
So evil he spews…so he can share in my view of things
So when they erect rocks in his honor…they will boo the sphinx
im tired of the heat, I denounce my upside down crucifix
its useless it brought me nothing but trouble im done using it
he chose you over me I told him I thought that was stupid
I said screw this and the next thing I know im getting booted
While the subpar eat from the tree and im left fruitless
You enjoy the roots of his movements while you stay ungrateful
You sin and your forgiven showcasing you are unfaithful
Yet his grace you keep while I race to the deep abyss
As I watch towards the heavens as you scoundrel the gift
A gallery of sins persist.


plotting revenge on the chosen as I’ll make death the last word spoken
the plan is, gates will open my army furious and steadily growin
to the happy dam nation swords will thrust for decapitation
brimstone will hail from the heavens, how ironic of a description
the streets fumigated in blood while water turns to regurgitated mud
pestilence will engulfs like hurricane winds with a reverberated thud
and I will rule with an iron fist and a silver tongue
but until that day comes….

these flying pictures serve as a current of memories flow
I keep them as bitter reminder of a past forgotten centuries ago
When I was more inclined to the light beautiful and heavenly divine
When my heart was bright and not as black as this winter night

[NYCSPITZ]

Pretty cool battle bros. Inno twisted an indian religion looking picture and flipped it into a quasi-Christian story. Great concept that could have been executed a lil better i.e. add a few more twists/food for thought rather than focusing on the devil for the whole piece. I thought the ending was very poetic and you ended kinda dope though. DAM came stronger technically IMO. I thought it was gonna be about some dude lamenting his family's death and blaming himself for it but you twisted the ending which was, like Inno's, delivered nicely but came with more of an emphatic twist. The repetition of Astrological signs was iight thought you could've been a lil more creative with that though. Overall I got DAM on a nice lil twist with stronger content throughout this time around. I know DAM can drop way better and I haven't seen much from Inno but I assume he has more in his arsenal as well. Cool battle gentlemen.

V/DAM

[Adonis]

Dam - I liked this concept a lot brotha, you executed well with one exception. Some of the rhymes came off as almost too simple, almost like you used the first rhyme that popped in your head each line. But aside from that, as I said, the content was rather good so I really can't complain about it. All in all a solid, enjoyable verse. Good shit.

Inno - the opening stanza seemed like lucifer writing a letter to god, I thought that was a dope concept, really the entire verse was a nice concept. I'm a bit torn if through out the verse you speak of Jesus or not, because you mention "evil HE spews", and jesus did not. But I like how stuck to the knowledge of lucifer being in heaven and him being the chosen evil so good would be known. it was pre-ordained and I feel you stayed true to that. Flow was slightly choppy here and there due to wording issues. All in all good verse though.

Vote - close match, but in the end Inno's tugged more on my heart string. He wrote something right down my ally, as you both did, but I just liked his a bit more.

[Zen]

This is another good battle right here.
Dam: Great first week showing here. Loved your take on the topic and in my opinion it was very creative and worked really well for you here. Great technical skill displayed too the way you moved from multi, to inners, and back to multis. It was pretty impressive reading this and it all felt as if this comes to you easily. For the negative of this verse, to be honest I really couldn't think of one. This was a very good showing here man. Welcome to the league.
Innovator: You brought this week that poetic vibe that I love from your drops. Very nice drop from Satan's point of view as we usually see him as the guy who says let's fuck shit up, this on the other hand was Satan giving a more introspective look on himself and really remembering the good ole days when you had it all. Nice touch to this I like it. I feel like you got that point across very well and the last stanza summed this piece up perfectly. Great work here.

All in all I enjoyed both pieces but I gotta give this one to Dam. Great work this week guys.

[IamBenT]

ThisisDAM

The green of the fields would capture tears, each declined
I wasn't searching for heaven but merely a peace of mind
Pointing at something I could never explain
The skies, the stars, the weather, the rain
Celestial plains, a land of hope where no days go violent
A stroke of the brush & run across a rainbow smiling

- fantastic, really set the scene for the rest of the verse,
flow was butter smooth, not many errors at all through most of this
and the topic is so vivid and well described.

Liked the ending here too and you put each constellation to a great
use, its just so clever and well written that by the end of it you can't
help but smile and how the concepts and images all fit together like a glove
yet another great writer in the AOWL.

Inno

Dammed to a deep slum I am pesticide with a thoughtless stride
A hero to no one, no favors given and ive never owed one
Shun by the known son I labor to slip in to his kingdom an soil his gums
So evil he spews…so he can share in my view of things
So when they erect rocks in his honor…they will boo the sphinx

- this was pretty cool, i feel you always do a solid job of developing your speaker

Great pacing in this piece and you give us a strong picture of this raging
Devil preparing for battle.

the streets fumigated in blood while water turns to regurgitated mud
pestilence will engulfs like hurricane winds with a reverberated thud
- this was dope here, great images.

Love the ending, too, you really give us that picture of regret that Devil
possibly feels at now living this scorned eternity.

Great battle guys.

Inno had a solid story with great detail but didn't really get my curiosity
piqued or challenge me and entertain as much as DAM's verse, which was just
very clever and well written.

Vote -ThisisDAM gets it this week.

[Dove Dozer]

Dam - i loved how you flipped this topic. I strongly disagree with Adonis on this. I felt your rhyming words were well thought out and perfectly placed. Crafty and creative thought process here. U feel you executed the theme flawlessly here. It flowed perfectly while keeping my attention throughout. I coupdnt help but smile as i read which is a great sign of accomplishment on your part. Impeccable verse imo.

"..made so many mistakes, their death was for certain my burden
I'll never be perfect, or pure as Virgo the virgin
There's always two sides to a story, if you even fail
All the bumps in the road, as if your feet were reading braille
You could balance it out, then leave a trail
Yet the pain outweighs it all, tipping over Libra Scales.."


Absolutely dope.. wow

Inno - you wrote superbly this week as well.. this verse was well written and chalked full of internals that were so subtle that theyre easy to miss


"..he chose you over me I told him I thought that was stupid
I said screw this and the next thing I know im getting booted*
While the subpar eat from the tree and im left fruitless*
You enjoy the roots of his movements while you stay ungrateful
You sin and your forgiven showcasing you are unfaithful
Yet his grace you keep while I race to the deep abyss*
As I watch towards the heavens as you scoundrel the gift
A gallery of sins persist..."

Sick.. i really thought you wrote this whole verse well. That section just stood out to me though


Hard to pick a winner but ima vote for Dam on this. Sorry inno.

V/Dam

[ZeeDee]

ThisIs.... the best verse I've read so far this week... the flow was good start to finish and the idea was creative and colorful as well as astrological and with the additional word play used with that.

Pointing at something I could never explain
The skies, the stars, the weather, the rain
Celestial plains, a land of hope where no days go violent
A stroke of the brush & run across a rainbow smiling

Now, I rarely will ever quote anyones verse, but this section was so deep and dope at the same time. The imagery of this was smile worthy. This was a very enjoyable read and I think I will have to stay on the lookout for you. The concept you brought to life of a perfect world was sureal and I was captured by the details of it and wanting to book a flight there immediately.

Inno, the concept of this was great and your imagery was great too. Very detailed in your descriptions and the personal touch you made in being the character was well displayed with a lot of tension within his role as the devil.... some of your word choices seem kinda weird, but it still read nicely. I was wishing a bit more polished flow, but you did a more natural flow structure and I can appreciate that too. The way you narrated this was the strongest quality of this piece. The hatred expressed is clear and sounds devilish so I feel your grasp of it completely as I read it.


Iked both verses, but one was just more polished in their writing.

Vote ThisIsDamn

[King Ra.]

THISISDAM WINS, 5-1.