AOWL WK12: TYSON (4-3) VS. Objective (3-4) [OBJECTIVE WINS, 5-0.]

[King Ra.]

16 lines minimum, 48 lines maximum. (if agreed upon by both participants, you may go beyond the limit at your own risk.)

Verses are due WEDNESDAY 5/15 at 11:59 PST.
Extensions are due THURSDAY 5/16 at 11:59 PST.
(There is a 6 hour grace period following the end of the extension deadline. If you fail to post anything by the end of the grace period time, you will be given the no show loss.)

You must vote on at least 4 other battles and post links in the Voting Thread. For every absent vote, you will be deducted ONE vote next week.

Voting ends MONDAY 5/20 at 11:59 PST.(Unless otherwise it may be extended another day at the most.)

You MUSTcheck in.

If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.

NOTE:
Swaying, excessive freeposting, voter fraud etc. are grounds for vote deductions at discretion of the moderators.
Editing your verse after the grace period, after your opponent posts, or after the first vote (especially this)- as well as biting- are grounds for disqualification at discretion of the moderators.


TOPIC: Your job this week is simple.... you can either use the title of the book or the image on the cover as your main idea for your piece this week. Whatever you are able to come up with.

http://i40.tinypic.com/2d6wm6q.jpg



Good luck to both participants. TYSON Objective

[Objective]

Check

[TYSON]

1 2 1 2

[Objective]

I might need an extension. Kinda busy today and idk wtf is happening tomorrow. Not at home atm either.

[TYSON]

Cool bro helps me out too

[Objective]

(I chose the picture)

When my parents got killed in a freak accident I went on to search for the meaning of life,
I sold everything I owned, went to the airport and took the first flight.
Ended up in a random place in Palestine,
looking for wisdom I talked to a concubine.
She directed me to a man who was passive and weird,
a face of no regrets and a massive beard.

He never spoke to me openly,
mostly with hands, pictures & symbols, never vocally,
He claimed body language is a lost art,
and meditated for the most part.
I respected his vision on life but as a norwegian-albanian
I looked upon him as an arabian Damien vegetarian in the mediterranean.
When I told him this he wrote ''bogart'' and pointed to the bible,
picked up some dogtags, the Q'ran and laughed at the title.
Then threw it all into a fire, sighed and released a heavy breath,
I understood it as him telling me the only thing humans got in common is death.
So what is left? Why did he refuse to talk?
When I presented my concerns he invited me for a walk.
But I had to promise that I wouldn't open my mouth,
in doubt I accepted and he went outside and then to the south.

As we walked people stared and bowed in his presence,
it was important for them to show love for his lessons.
This spawned questions but I was keepin' my promise,
It was annoying at first to be blatantly honest.
A half day of walking turned to days, and days to weeks,
everywhere we went people gave us food and a place to sleep.
It was amazing to meet people with open hearts and no fear,
I grew to love their nature and had now been walking the land for a year.
I felt a strong connection with myself and that I'm one with the sphere,
We reached a beautiful beach and surprisingly he said; ''We're finally here.''
As he talked his body vanished like a pro boxer refusing to fight,
and my mind and body got swallowed by a beam of light.
It lifted me to the sky and everything around me started to disperse,
I heard his voice whisper; ''all the atoms is one with the universe.''
I fell back down to earth and woke up alone on the beach,
I realized that absolutely nothing is out of reach.
And what was he trying to teach? ''That the meaning of life is simply to exist,
atoms don't vanish, collected they're just showing us the things that we missed.''

[TYSON]

Christoff: wisdom of time
1910-2013

Nutured in the womb my birth introduced me to the light of the sun
my eyes clinging shut trying to subside a lil time to the life ive begun
Introduced to the pillar of life, I bathed, removing the sins of previous times
Reincarnation, new beginnings, redemption from the unknown mischievous crimes
Started crawling with the occasional lift as i stumbled over my own feet
Ironically it became the nature of my being, a butterfly effect on repeat
My father was a long rehabilitating Confederate with little education
My mother was a punching bag, drowning in insecurity and submerged from vindication
But Not all was bad...life granted me with a couple smirks
My antique train set, showed light in the darkness..thanks to my uncles work
At 18, knowledge was freedom and my passion was the philosophical wonders
Eager for explanations about myself and humankinds continuing collosal blunders
How could the misguided enslave the misguided? Wat disrupts the thinking?
As I study the life of courage and sacrifice of Abraham Lincoln
Wat drives that greatness? Is it obtainable? I continue to strive
By the age of 50, money was no object but my questions grew to tremendous size
The impurities of thyself, purged the seconds of understanding I held
Any quench was half empty and the thirst remerged, having to revisit the well
My children... grown now, show me the new inventions..TV's and vcrs
Seen a movie called psycho and figured this figment of imagination was a piece of ours
My son died from a drunken car accident, leaving behind two girls
My daughter pasted from pneumonia when I was 75, leaving me in this cruel world
Answers I still seek till my spirit abandons its vessel
Bones brittle with ghost hair but still blind in my adventure to what resides in this threshold
Over 100 years of studying, mind focused with in-depth thinking of each abrasion
Only to lie in my death bed regretting not just living instead of over examining each equation

[Zen]

Good battle right here fellas forreal.
Objective: After reading your posts in the prediction threads I thought your verse was gonna be shit to be honest but you proved me wrong here. I actually really, really enjoyed this piece. Yes it gets two reallys. There were some great lines in there that like the Q'ran line stood out for me, but on the other hand there were lines that could have been much better if the syllable count had matched up with the previous line. That's not a big deal for most people so it's no problem really and that's the only real problem I have with this verse. Excellent man.
Tyson: Nice piece here. The ending felt almost Taoist really since most easterners feel that people in the West pull themselves out of life by trying to figure out answers constantly while easterners live. I liked that touch. I do feel that this piece could have been much better really and more emotional considering the story progressed through his entire life but the pains he experienced are touched on and then you move directly on in the next line. I would've liked more detail on that for the emotional side but that's just me. Anyway nice piece.

Overall I gotta give this to Objective. Good battle fellas.

[NYCSPITZ]

Awesome battle.

Tyson you really impressed me with the tone of mysticality you introduced with reincarnation and maintained throughout the end when you mentioned spirit leaving its vessel. You paint a compelling picture of a wise sage who lives life questioning and regrets the life of non-action that this bred.

Objective's ending ended on a similar note and was also mystical, vibed a bit with the law of attraction and the everything is part of one whole and all matter is interrelated concept (which I agree with). I thought the character was dope and it added some nice suspense for you to end with a cool flourish of getting beamed up and returning to earth with ultimate wisdom type shit.

Overall I was feeling OBJ more this time but both came nice. Just felt his story was put together better this time around, more fluid as opposed to the jumping decades to certain life events approach which could also work too but I think obj pulled it off w/ a lil more swag.

v/ Objective

[Inno]

dope battle.

objective.

this was impressive storytelling and and just as equally impressive charaxter development...your shit carried it self along nicely. liek i mentioned before i like the story i thought you had great diction along with some stand out lines here and there. you set the scene pretty well and it thought the ending though a bit rushed in my opinion was still written will enough to pull it off nicely..dope verse.

tyson.

doep shit as well..on par with objective as far s tthe technical side of things go. toook a diferent route with the topic good contrast to your opponents approach..meaning you didnt show me the same exact things he did..you shined in your own manner...originality is the word lol. any way thought you had some dope references to back your lines up which i thought was clever and done well...as far as the story goes..i felt like you left for wanting... i mean it felt like you could of added more depth to it...justm y thought..

over all i got objective with a a better executed storyline...felt like he offered a bit more...nothing wrong with TYsons piece just but compared to objectives there is more to gain from objectives piece this week..great battle tbh.

[ThisisDAM]

I have to cut it short fellas, my bad. My lunch is over, haha BUT

Objective has improved time & again since I first saw him. One drawback he's always had I thought was the long lines & syllable counts. But, he always makes up for it in storytelling & imagery especially. This was a great verse. Tyson, I felt you were missing something here. Overall, it's not a bad take or showing, but I didn't feel it was complete. Also, some lines were way too long, such as the ending bars. Good battle tho

Vote - Objective

[ZeeDee]

Tyson, the idea and concept put into this was pretty cool. Basically like writing a short journal of his life. I liked some of the details and how u personlized this outline to carry a verse that was almost entirely based on the character development of one character. I do wish you would have worked on the structure and flow of the piece to make the reading a little more smooth and entertaining to read. Another thing that I think may have proved . I did like how the way you personlized it, I was able to connect to the character and that was important to me.

Objective, the details of this were nicely laid out and in interesting fashion as I kept wanting to know more as things started to happen in the story... like him throwing the Q'ran in the fire... your flow and structure was slightly better than Tyson, but that wasn't really a deciding factor. Your story was also personlized, but because you seprated from not being the main character and instead being a character that grew close to the main character. I think this approach helped you develop the character in a more entertaining display.

Vote objective

[King Ra.]

OBJECTIVE WINS, 5-0.