Week 7: Brian Bryan (0-0) vs. MMLP (0-0) \\ Brian Bryan wins 7-0

[Certain]

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png

Season 3



The Basics | Read the full rules here (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=54688).

Verses are due Friday at 11:59 p.m. PT. THERE ARE NO EXTENSIONS.

Votes are due Sunday at 11:59 p.m. PT.

Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words unless agreed upon by the opponent.

Voting on three battles is required. If you win and don't vote, you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your three votes in this thread (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=64330).

Topics this week are available for your choosing here (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=64328).

Good luck, Brian Bryan and MMLP.

[Brian Bryan]

3. You are awoken at 3 a.m. by a blindingly bright, enormous light outside your window.




I rose in a panic, still barely awake,
not knowing what happened or where I was laid.
A glaring, evasive, light from above
stared on my face as I tried not to look.
Once my eyes had adjusted, more came into view,
ghastly appliances hung from every face of the room.
An arrangement of tubes act as a lynchpin
constraining my movement to a matter of inches.
I panicked and flinched as something approached
- my hands and my fingers were covered up though!
Shutting them both, I averted my eyes,
just at the moment they first had arrived.
They lurched me from right to left as I swayed,
squirmed and I cried until red in the face.
My head was then cradled, their hold was released,
as they swept up their baby
I took a moment to breath.

The incubators lights glow as we leave.

[MMLP]

You have just been drafted to serve for your country in a war.

April the tenth, at her majesty’s painful request
Eight thousand men have now been ordered to serve for BRITAIN
the place where were bred,
The place where were spawned as a work horse, MISSION
our countries survival/ im now walking beside armed forces
im nauseous, stuck with a bloody assault rifle
"this aint the fucking time for butterflies"
the front of the unknown is haunting me the most
I need to grow some balls, need to get wicked and ruthless
were there! prepare the trigger, grip it and shoot them'
brave twisted and prudent is the best vow
im watching game of thrones with James E Holmes in my head now
"Get Down" one dies in a flash, terrified from the bang,
but my pride is at hand, so united we stand,
divided we fall, these lions will roar,
fight as a man and die for the cause...

[NYCSPITZ]

cool battle.

Lars resonated with me a lot more this week. Both had cool rhyme schemes and seem to be veterans of cadence witht he English language...

but Lars' sotry was really laconic, terse, to the point on some aliens stealing a baby type shit.

I felt he went deeper than marshall mather's LP, respectfully.

While MMLP was a great album I feel Lars won this round

v/'lars

[Bladed Thesis]

While understanding where Marshall Mathers LP was coming from, I felt at times word choice was subpar and his vocabulary was lacking. Inconsistency in the flow caused me to give that category to Brian Bryan as well as I felt his flow was several levels more consistent.

As far as each of their takes on their respective topic, Brian really took a strong approach and aided his piece with great imagery. I didn't really enjoy the pace Marshall Mathers LP took for his topic as it had information that was relevant but lacked imagery or strong word choice to reinforce what was, in my opinion, a very bland take on his topic selection.

Overall - Brian Bryan gets my vote for stronger imagery, better pace and flow to his piece, stronger word choice and one helluva name. But the Marshall Mathers LP is still my second favorite Eminem album of all time.

[Fig]

2 cool easy to read verses. ahhhh. BBs verse was more refined/consistent than his opponents and he managed to pull me in more. Although mmlp, in the middle there was some pretty cool scheming that worked well with the disaster of the scenery you were describing. You should've went more in depth on the whole battle scene since that is where you showed the most skill. BB you wrote a cool lil verse from the perspective of a lady giving birth? Well I dunno, all that matters is that aliens took the baby, and that this story managed to grab my interest despite its brevity.

V/ Brian Bryan

[e11even]

BBryan- This setup was dope. I fell for the telegraph and hadn't predicted the twist. This was crisp with fow and wording and careful on description. For such a fast drop it still delivered adequately and concisely. Good shit.

MMLP- I think more could have been done here. I feel like the this was too linear from the very start. your execution was ok, if not for the rhyming and cadence missteps, and the story could have been a little more gripping with more impactful use of the space you used. You kept it together for the most part, but when given the chance, a second lookover could possibly have spotted some of the problems. Good effort though.

Overall, good job guys. Thank you for saving the league this week and being the first match open for votes- that was very stellar of you both. MVGT BBryan for the more complete and better-written drop. Thank you guys again :)

[zygote]

Some good expression of patriotism with the GREAT BRITAIN in capital letters part, and some extra train of thought stuff to end it. The ending was a nice little poetic thing, reminiscent of a propaganda slogan. Pretty straightforward which was good and fit the subject matter. Compared with the first which had a good use of the unreliable narrator, unexpected ending + italics were subtle to give the E.T.'s an alien-feel. Voting for BB.

[Certain]

Brian Bryan: You flipped this topic sort of in the reverse of my take, but yours was better as a concept. I know you could have done more to make this a little less procedural, but you wante da short verse. For that, this was creative and built to the twist well. Your rhymes, of course, were fantastic.

MMLP: You went a bit too straight-forward and impersonal with how you approached the topic. This verse left me feeling cold because of how generic your images and concepts were. Also, the rhymes were a bit lagging, particularly compared to your opponent. If you develop your characters and concepts more, you have potential because your diction and composition were good.

Vote: Brian Bryan

[timeless]

Lars, this was a cool little piece. enjoyed the sort of twist on the end, I kind of expected it for some reason although you did play it well. Rhyme schemes were good enough. Above and look dont rhyme though, atleast where im from lol. Good shit though

Slim, this was alright. Nothing about your approach or any lines really jumped out at me. Your flow was struggling at times making it hard to keep a good pace, even after a couple reads I still couldnt grip it.

V. Bryan