Week 8: 17. d0ubt (0-0) vs. 18. Johnathan Mercy (0-0) \\ Johnathan Mercy wins 5-1

[Certain]

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png

Season 3



The Basics | Read the full rules here (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=54688).

Verses are due Friday at 11:59 p.m. PT. THERE ARE NO EXTENSIONS.

Votes are due Sunday at 11:59 p.m. PT.

Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words unless agreed upon by the opponent.

Voting on three battles is required. If you win and don't vote, you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your three votes in this thread (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=65561).

Topic:

http://i.imgur.com/ALFo8pE.jpg

Good luck, Johnathan Mercy and d0ubt.

[Three-Planes-Aligned]

http://i.imgur.com/ALFo8pE.jpg

A latent future blazing, illuminating
- the faces of shady, mutant, muted agents
Gruesome, nameless - problem seekers
bottom feeders - from putrid basements
The mood is framed by the sewer fragrance
- and the spooky music of crooning geishas
shrewish notes across the ghoulish pavement
- gloomy, labored, subduing wailing
With cravings fueling the abuse of nature
- a confusion-laden askew creation
Unholy cesspool and the zoo of Satan
- or a Godly marvel of true amazement
A moving picture - and epic cypher
An electric ride - this movie caters
to recessive lions - with messy, mindless
- excessive violence and fluid pacing

I sigh and begrudge, life in this tiring sludge
- Occasionally firing up on a diet of drugs
Sounding the sirens of my ivory truck...
- That I ride to the club when I aspire to fuck
Then hopeless, random, local travels
- And being a frozen phantom requiring love
My magnum opus is an unfocused tantrum
- Low on hugs but I have dope and handguns
The concrete itself holds me ransom
- Forming an onus-mantled, ferocious dragon
Psychosis platinum - reality breaks apart
- And only poetry mellows my racing heart
It's hard to decide where the sensation starts'
Taking part in the creative arc
A mosaic of chromatically changing sparks
The city in essence: installation art

[d0ubt]

i walk the streets of a wealthy metropolis
a toxic grease makes them overwhelmingly prosperous
they flaunt bentleys, never helping the profitless
a daunting disparity, you tell me the positives
broke just staying alive, look at the cost to live
ask for change but pennies are all these monsters give
oddly it's the closet which they're inside, where they hide
paralyzed, scared and blind and never care to find
the peril of the unsterilized barren side
of these careless times but everyone shares the lie
bare in mind, the rare sight when these worlds dare collide
like kinder egg surprise when milk over layers the white
they exist in parallel so never intersect
the moon was a small feat but this gap's a bigger step
such a height differential but no where to climb
'cause we're freezing, trying to reach ninety fehrenheit
white collars and no collar, but not many blue
around here there's a shortage of jobs to pursue
once in a blue moon, mercury begins to rise
and someone sparkles like a star seen in the skies
gifted with a ticket to get lifted up high
stripped of their innocence to be in the public eye
with a vision and a mission to get a better livin'
the lens and lid is sick since it's either red or itchin'
raised witnessing such vivid and distressing images
but never envisioned that business had less forgiveness
they return with scarred necks from cut throat tactics
the higher life restults in a bunch of broke addicts
blossoming dreams wilted and stuck with no cabbage
happen to you too, it will if you fuck with those facists
fantasizing that the streets are paved in gold
sacrifice the bravest soul to be raped and sold
it's funny though, i'm uncertain what i desire
rich comes and goes, i'm a person just reaching higher

http://i.imgur.com/ALFo8pE.jpg

[Just Write]

This is the first time ive read anything from either of you but I can say I was impressed by both.


John Boy, (ever seen the Walton's) anyways really spectacular flow and mechanics were tight as fuck. Also you had great imagery for such short lines. Obv an alias but I wonder who, first that comes to mind is inn nik or copypat. Either way this was a great piece. Props




Doubt, I liked your piece as well but I felt it wasnt as crisp as john boys but I feel you did paint some nice pictures in my head, although the fuck is the kinder egg milk shit? Where you from? Anyways I feel like if you would have reworded a few spots and brought a little more imagery to your piece it would have helped but this was boring to me for the most part.


Ok why do you guys feel the need to post the photo in your verse like its not at the top of the thread? Lol anyways good battle guys, im definitely looking forward to reading more from you both. This week john boy takes it for me though

Mvgt=john boy

[Zombie]

Ugh. Both are so good! Both styles I can pinpoint very vaguely. I'd rather not.

Johnathan started with a an insight to his imagery with a slew of syllables. I thought it was impressive. Until I read the second part and was a bit MORE impressed. This piece radiated throughout the most.

And being a frozen phantom requiring love
My magnum opus is an unfocused tantrum
- Low on hugs but I have dope and handguns
The concrete itself holds me ransom
- Forming an onus-mantled, ferocious dragon

Frozen phantom. Absolutely was the beginning to this onslaught of imagery welded with long winded word display.
My very complaint is that it seem very short, as soon as it started is as soon as it finished. Which threw me off, in the non traditional sense of things. I hoped for more, but maybe less is more. Looking back at it a long winded slew of this stuff here would just probably put me off, as the wording was top-notch. Phrasing a more complete story-line for the sake of arching theoretical heuristics would've done this piece more justice than it already has show. You seemed more streamlined. Gorgeous.

d0ubt was absolutely SOLID here. As a repeating schematic of your opponent, your mid-section was that of a pregnant woman. Disgusting, yet beautiful. I think you almost tried to mimic a variety of your opponents syllable laden apologue. Very preciously written

bare in mind, the rare sight when these worlds dare collide
like kinder egg surprise when milk over layers the white
they exist in parallel so never intersect
the moon was a small feat but this gap's a bigger step
such a height differential but no where to climb
'cause we're freezing, trying to reach ninety fehrenheit
white collars and no collar, but not many blue
around here there's a shortage of jobs to pursue
once in a blue moon, mercury begins to rise
and someone sparkles like a star seen in the skies
gifted with a ticket to get lifted up high

Intense. The segment before that just as intense. You misspelled results. But that was probably just a slip, idk what restults are. This was just as good, in its own way, a longer , yet still simplistic notorietic approach to a near malleable impression of genetically modified doppelgangers. You guys are alias's of better known writers, and I think it's actually pretty funny that you guys are duking it out on unknown barriers! Who knows? Maybe you're the same.


Also Johnathan Mercy

I sigh and begrudge, life in this tiring sludge
- Occasionally firing up on a diet of drugs

Very nice, probably my favorite line. The whole renaissance to this verse was exceptional. The curative efforts to adapt morose scenery and adroitness to compel the reader with psychological ties was clever.

Intense/Extremely close. d0ubt turned me off with simple lines like "stars in the skies" Though they create a clever and ongoing filler, but create a monotone happiness level as far as the reader getting into it. Based off this alone my vote goes to Johnathan Mercy. Just really wished they would have went a bit longer, as I was mildly turned off by the brevity.

[MMLP]

keep it simple

both similar in its intensity and high level of lyricism, both come across as expert in text battling/ topical writing.

The mood is framed by the sewer fragrance
- and the spooky music of crooning geishas
shrewish notes across the ghoulish pavement
- gloomy, labored, subduing wailing
With cravings fueling the abuse of nature
- a confusion-laden askew creation
Unholy cesspool and the zoo of Satan - Holy Shit

I think it comes down to who's piece was more entertaining and stood out

and that was Mercy's Very Close tough!

[timeless]

Dagel, this was a cool little read. Flow on point as always. The backstory could’ve had more detail but wasn’t really needed, the imagery took over from the beginning. Not bad though, seen you come better than this.

Doubt, this was a good read as well. Ending was crisp. Your flow/wordplay was dope for the most part, couple of times were questionable but not bad.

This is a tight one. Gotta give this to Dagel for being more polished. I thought doubt had the more thought out piece but it wasn’t up to par with dagel technically.

[zygote]

Both were similar in content and approach. Most other things being equal the shorter lines from JM were preferable to the slightly longer lines by d0ubt. Some phrases like 'onus-mantled' just seems like rhyming for the sake of rhyming. d0ubt had more natural language, even though some of the rhyme schemes were kind of cliched, E.g., throat tactics, broke addicts, no cabbage etc. Overall it was close, voting for d0ubt.

[millz]

doubt... this was solid for me. some pretty nice transitioning between rhymes at times, other times i felt that maybe some wording was more forced to keep up with the scheme. i think sometimes people tend to overdue their wording in an effort to rhyme more, when in some cases simple in a certain area works better and can go along way at times. its more about picking and choosing when to you that. as far as the topic goes it just felt a bit uninspired to me. the last line to me seems like it was tossed in for a bit of shock factor, and if that was the case it would have been better to incorporate more of a first person approach, or a more personal approach, instead of describing the struggles of a society as a whole and tossing that last line in it would of provided a bit more impact if it was all first person account. overall this is good though

vs

jon. this worked out very well for me. obviously the scheme and structure fit this very well. and i like the adjustment of lenses between the beginning portion and the portion after the break.(something i think doubts verse could of greatly benefited from) the imagery was very visceral from me. dark... and it fit very well with your narrative. the wording on this to me was near perfect. there was no issues that i could find, or that i would suggest changing. everything seemed to fit smoothly and almost without effort, which is why this may seem like its a shorter piece. i can totally appreciate accomplishing a nice development of a topic in 2 16s with a small syllable count.


overall jons piece was a step above in every measurable category of writing in my opinion. that is by no means a bad thing about doubts verse, because jons verse was very very good, and i see him winning quite a few matchups

vote-jon