Camp Bell vs ZenLand (S&F) - ZENLAND WINS 5-3

[Camp Bell]

12 lines
due 5/23/13
midnight eastern

[Zen]

When I die...
I'll be a living legend clinching weapons when rifts beckon me,
I'm threatening with Smith and Westons poppin clips of seven
And make 'em hit eleven with no indiscretion,
A melody of fits and aggression spraying iridescently
In my peers direction cuz my mere presence has fear beckoning
In my brethren, That sears impressions in their mind
Til they get the message cuz I'm the kind that gets pissed in a second,
The richest peasant with hints of perfection,
That gifts impressions and evny, So it's time to start
To rip my wretched enemies til their torn apart,
Only way to live when addressin the living legend is to remember,
I'm the shit dawg, and my pen's the insestine

[Camp Bell]

word thats fine, ill change it to 12

[Camp Bell]

...oh
nike sign.

http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=6623
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=6619

[Zen]

http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=6023
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=6564

[Camp Bell]

deep in my roots, its about to get physical...
im just speaking the truth, its going down by the ticket oak
see, i eat wheaties with prunes til my bowels go in intervals
Z, dude, you reading the rules? bogus clowns get shitted on
fuck you, its sun tzu. gunning out the sun roof of my civic bro
ya front view, pumped thru. son you'll get killed wit subliminals
i tried to come smooth and stay chilled but these bullets cold
blaster beams splitting yo anatomy, so relax ya team spiritual
it's travesties in general and it's all happening, happily in digital
catastrophes' on behalf of crafty me, makes this tragedy pitiful
im a master b, actually, master p, amassing keys w/ no limit tho
swagging wit ya faculty splattered on my graphic tee, fixing dope
you faggot weak, fashion week, rapping sweet in bitches clothes

[Flow]

No offence to camp cus I genuinely enjoyed the verse was pretty decent proba worth expanding on it an dropping it in the open mic. As for a s an f however I dont think
It panned out well. The rhyme scheme wasn't overly creative an was seriously lacking in swagger. As for zenlands his drop was a pretty bog standard rhyme scheme basic
In parts but flowed well and there was a nice show of swagger especially as it progressed. Overall vote goes to zen but enjoyed the read from
Both

[Just Write]

Dope battle, i felt zen had a little more to his in terms of content. Camps flow was a little better but so repetitive. Zen its wesson not weston and camp whats a blaster beam? Anyways im going to go with zen

[Spoken]

i got Zen with more indepth content disposal. i have camp actually with the swag but zen on the flow. so im sort of torn between choosing a clear cut winner..... ok after reading it over twice i will be deciding who came nice with it to me perosonally... i got zen just by a hair seriously... with his content being more broad

[Defiant]

3-0


UPPPPPP

[trap.]

Jesus Christ. 3-1 if you count DG's vote.

[Fig]

Alright my Vote goes to Camp

Camps lacked in the flow department but had a stronger swag appeal than Zenland. Also, I didnt think zens flow was that much better in the first place. I appreciated the attempt at a consistent rhyme scheme from Zen, but in the long run it worked against him, limiting what he could say and making it even awkward at points. Camp, get more creative with the flow man. Peace

[Atomic]

zen came w/ a broad range a content, & more inner multis, but imo his flow was still a tie w/ camp. camps flow was just simple & nice to me & i would even edge it to him. Camp also had much more of a swag feel to me, i just felt his piece overall more & felt he hyped himself a lot harder. Overall camp took this by a lil bit imo, just enjoyed his piece more overall swag/flow wise.

v/ camp bell.

[Coup]

zen- first let me say I'm a fan of your OM HOF piece....and its concept...brilliant. that said, let's move on to this verse

I'll be a living legend clinching weapons when rifts beckon me,
I'm threatening with Smith and Westons poppin clips of seven

liked how the clips of seven came out...

And make 'em hit eleven with no indiscretion,
A melody of fits and aggression spraying iridescently
In my peers direction cuz my mere presence has fear beckoning

liked the carry over of the first line form the set above

did not like the bleeding of rhymes in the 2nd line cos with the end rhyme came awkward

then line 3 the same...with "fear beckoning" not working for me..the inner rhyme was too forced...sightly.

lines 9-12 were pretty forced due the set up and the unchanging cadence...did not like


while your mechanics were good, the pacing and carrying over the same root into each line to showcase skill kinda hurt ya...some dope concepts tho. your first line was ill, then imho you should have offered more cadence changes....

n my brethren, That sears impressions in their mind
Til they get the message cuz I'm the kind that gets pissed in a second,
The richest peasant with hints of perfection,

much more of the same...kinda makes the flow choppy with new end rhyme sounds not fully realized from the bleeding.



camp bell

deep in my roots, its about to get physical...
im just speaking the truth, its going down by the ticket oak

clever multi..concept that works well

see, i eat wheaties with prunes til my bowels go in intervals
Z, dude, you reading the rules? bogus clowns get shitted on
fuck you, its sun tzu. gunning out the sun roof of my civic bro
ya front view, pumped thru. son you'll get killed wit subliminals

thicket oak/intervals(creative)...shitted on(?)/civic bro(nice)/subliminal(okay) overall...nice


i tried to come smooth and stay chilled but these bullets cold

bullets cold...now you reaching for rhyme connection lol

overall good concepts and some wit....some rhymes seemed to be irrelevant to swag and put in for the flow....still I think you have the edge in this



I felt like breaking this down like this, not because I'm a douche pseudo textee, but just felt like it.


v/CB

[Sharp]

UP

3-3, first to 5 or win by 2

[Geno]

Zen had a lot more swag and flow. Easy win here

Camp just wennt to basic with his rhyming.

[Nigma]

Zen: Dope verse, consistent flow aside from the 'time to start/torn apart' bar, and you went out with a bang. Outro stood out to me as a very suitable ending. That bar was really the only line that stood out tho, everything was pleasantly average.

Camp: Felt flow could have been a lot more engaging in the first portion. Lines were good but limited by the flow to me. The last quarter was pretty tight though, wish the whole verse was on that level but feel you needed to do more here.

+1 Zen