Week 12: 11. King Ra. (5-5) vs. 12. timeless (6-5) \\ King Ra. wins 6-0

[Certain]

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png

Season 3



The Basics | Read the full rules here (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=54688).

Verses are due Friday at 11:59 p.m. PT. THERE ARE NO EXTENSIONS.

Votes are due Sunday at 11:59 p.m. PT.

Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words unless agreed upon by the opponent.

Voting on three battles is required. If you win and don't vote, you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your three votes in this thread (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=71391).


Topic


http://i.imgur.com/RMO6pf9.jpg


Good luck, King Ra. and timeless.

[timeless]

I'll package this flame,
ship it to the bridge burners
to aid the fervor,
to take advantage of pain.
Earth's soup needs stirrers
of the beef, cabbage and grains,
these patterns we've made
make those who scavenge feel shame.
We backup the praise
we receive, salvage the blame.
Found a strong paddle
for when the planet blankets
the Earth's land with rain.
I'll be here until we end,
sign it? Where's the pen?
I'm immortal, scared of when
they die. Spaired to bend
the world back into order.
Hope wins through shorter
circumstances that death brings.
Known for prose/lessons.
Now, the only soul left in
these lands holds less than
a quarter of old demands
from Gods own blessings.
Now as I watch my downfall,
failure will sound off.
This gives me reason to breathe,
to sleep with proud cause.
One single minute counts wrong,
and I'm in too deep,
stressed that i've been sinful free.
I have no choice though,
there is nothing left of me,
just my bones and words.
Left for survivors of the
armageddon to
trust, or to hone and observe.
They will succeed by
praising and showing this verse.
Good luck to you all,
I wish nothing but the best.
King Timeless, I am.
I summoned the world from death.
Don't be like King RA,
box? He was Pandora's chest.

[King Ra.]

ILLUMINATUS: "Enter the Dark, Exit the Light"

the darkest hour.... or the furthest thing?

Elephant in the room. Enlargement.
Suppression of knowledge.
Impetuous doom. Caution....
its secularization of conscious thought.
Transcendence subdued.
Black arts. Rituals. Rebellious pursuit.
Deception in truth. Toxic.
Keep your eyes open, regardless.
No matter the artist.
Rather assume this is reality's tomb.
Heaven to Hell. We've fallen, immune.
Under crescent moons.
Is this a dream?
Or a memory of your adolescent youth?
Wake up or remain sleep: It's whatever you choose.
Celestial movements.
Signs of the times. Age of godlessness.
Masonic lodges filled with false prophets.
Professional nuisance.
Take a peek into destiny's blueprints.
Mind, body & soul. Illumined.
Open the door & be consumed in light/darkness communion.
A parallel union.
Duality. Perfect infusion within.
Analogy. Best descriptive conclusion.
Illusion, fallacy. Its what you see when half asleep.
What's real beyond the veil they pull over your eyes so casually?
Third eye open. A visual apogee.
Once at the top. Look at how much we've fallen from the apple tree.
Silver lining in clouds? Golden image.
Spiritual alchemy.
Solar eclipses. Galaxies.
Universal depth vast & deep.
The door to Heaven is past our reach,
but close to the heart.
The Source of it all. Lies inside where hopes a visage.
A mirage of the divine, ignited from the start.
You'll enter the light once you exit the dark.

[Zen]

timeless- Is this Mordycai? It seems like it by the style, but I don't pay much attention to name changes. Anyway, I wasn't feeling this to be honest. Separating your lines mid sentence fucked up how I read it. Good use of punctuation would've made for an easier read than dividing it the way you did imo. The content was ok, nothing blew my mind but nothing was terrible either. I'm iffy on this verse. Just not feeling this one.

Ra- Been awhile since I've read a verse from you so I had high hopes when I came in to read this, but this seemed very rushed to me. Early on in the verse you showed that the verse might take off and be rad as fuck, but it didn't. It just kept going, never overwhelming or underwhelming me, but just managing to squeak by by doing just enough this week.

V/RA

[Frank]

Timeless wrote his verse like a key that was supposed to unlock Pandoras box? Clever. Unintentional?possibly. This was meager, by all means. I didn't like anything in particular about it aside from the key like symbolic idea of a verse rresembling a key that unlocks Pandoras chestt. This was by all means mediocre and I couldn't care for it enough to ponder must past that. Always next week though, keep experimenting.

King Ra came through miniscule on a grand scale but still ignited the senses with a galatic saga of sorts. I liked this part

Silver lining in clouds? Golden image.
Spiritual alchemy.
Solar eclipses. Galaxies.
Universal depth vast & deep.
The door to Heaven is past our reach,
but close to the heart.
The Source of it all. Lies inside where hopes a visage.
A mirage of the divine, ignited from the start.
You'll enter the light once you exit the dark.


A planetarium like verse.

Vote goes to, without further Ado, King Ra

[Three-Planes-Aligned]

I vote King Ra because he managed to surgically insert a skeleton into the body of his verse (a conceptual outline of the piece that provided a map for interpretation in the style of orienteering, avoiding the less fun style of GPS navigation); timeless' verse while executed at a fairly solid level of writing was more amorphous and in need of some type of more polished gimmick for an edge.

[Zombie]

King ra delivered a splendid scenic route, but failed to develop any real rouse that would absolutely wow the painting. Timeless, I think didnt hurt nor support him this week in stylistic switching of formatting (center, left,right, i.e) and had a ringing familiarity to Johnathan Mercy in just the brevity of the lines. King RA was more precise and embodied an image better in my honest opinion, while timeless slipped on the slope and I think, failed to embody a image that would crescendo through the entire stanza. Close and memorable bout. Voting King Ra

[e11even]

Timeless- You had me, bro. You had me all the way up to that horrible tell. I'm sorry. I really saw some messiah shit in this piece- maybe that was your aim though lol. I just felt a tinge of anger in that deception, then a spinkle of laughter for the fact that you ended it with a sense of humor. Kudos for the brilliant set up, but I'm not really sure where that got you. Good job overall, though.

Ra.- This was a cool piece. It didn't influence any feelings either way other than I loved how it was worded, executed and the lasting impression was surely there. I like the beginning to end transition. The fact that your opponent really chose the same route with a lackluster ending really worked in your favor, as it made my decision that much easier. I enjoyed your piece and liked your progression and overall execution. Good job.

Overall, I'm not really going for lasting impression as I'm going for better execution and follow-through. I think one piece was more steadfast than the other at providing a full experience and it paid off. MVGT King Ra. Great job guys.

[Certain]

timeless: I liked this. I even liked the end. It wasn't anything great, certainly nothing close to your best verses. But there were some flashes of good wording. I question the format only because it didn't feel like it was written with the intent of being in that format. I've written in similar formats before, but there needs to be a slightly different pacing to justify it. The rhymes here were the show and felt like the only reason the format was used, which was lame. But I'm not going to vote based on format. I think you rode the rhymes to some pretty cool thoughts at times but ultimately were a bit unfocused. You maybe didn't have the time to spend on this, which makes sense as I suffered the same fate this week.

King Ra.: Many of your verses are obsessed with the contrast of good and evil. You also deal a lot in religious or pseudo-religious themes. Here you examine this concept of light and dark, and you did it with an adequate set of reference points that hammered it home. This verse felt both within your comfort zone and a bit like a test piece, as you used a more fluid writing style that worked well. Your phrasing absolutely was better here, though it's easier to do that when you're going for a more abstract verse. This was a good verse that carried a lot more heft than timeless', and you probably outwrote him too, at least in terms of consistency. I didn't find it as gripping because of my personal lack of interest, but it was the better verse.

Vote: King Ra.