Week 14: 5. Vividlyvague (7-5) vs. 6. cyph her (1-1) \\ cyph her wins 7-0

[Certain]

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png

Season 3



The Basics | Read the full rules here (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=54688).

Verses are due Friday at 11:59 p.m. PT. THERE ARE NO EXTENSIONS.

Votes are due Sunday at 11:59 p.m. PT.

Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words unless agreed upon by the opponent.

Voting on three battles is required. If you win and don't vote, you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your three votes in this thread (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=74142).


Topic


“I've learned from everybody I've ever met.” — Levon Helm


Good luck, cyph her and Vividlyvague.

[cyph her]

My image must not be captured by witnesses..
Or their eyes will fall victim..
I’ve devised this escape based on a number of experiences..
As my eyes lay awake, I acknowledge the seriousness in them..
Every word I’ve ever heard will benefit me now…
While they slept, I listened to each and every sound..
I know the routines, thoughts and feelings of others..
Who is paying attention, and to what degree right now..
I’m peering at the clock, but only out of the corner of my eye..
Blind is what I need them to remain to be..
As expected, the evening’s court guard let out a sigh…
And only I would know that this escape means lunch time..
I will remain patient and calculating..
Prism faceless,.. and yet palpitating..
I detect my exit is not very far..
As I silently creep through the door the guard left ajar..
A profound victory nearly takes over me..
Realizing it is much too early to celebrate..
I reclaim my composure and delegate my thoughts..
There are more exits that I need to penetrate..
The next of which was not lacking in surveillance..
Strategically positioned to see all who walked through..
Escaping it’s view was nearly impossible..
But I’ve done my homework and will evade it, too…
In a single oscillating move, I positioned myself just under the lens..
With just enough time to move the other side of the room..
Remembering what my cellmate told me..
About pausing before I resume..
The final obstacle at last within sight..
Bared a key-pad that challenged my patience, it showed..
Recalling the movement of your fingers in my head..
I acted complacent while watching you type in your code..
*Click* the door opens, but only left my eyes exposed…
Peered about the court yard for onlookers..
I put one foot in front of the other..
I am a merely a felon with a change of clothes..
Just as I noticed my mistake, it was too late..
Joining a much larger facility that will brew hate..
Will not find love, a career or family that will accept me now
Forced to live in these shadows moving forward, that’s what I must do now..

I've always listened to all the wrong people..

[e11even]

Hey neighbor! Nice to have met you.
The name's Cyclops. Don't laugh. I bet you
Came here as a guest. I can guess why they left you.
Did you make them angry? Was I mentioned? Was I?
Cuz I swear its rude rolling down my stairs during my shuteye.
Get it? Shut...eye? Just one! Ha! Pardon my
Candor. I lack the social capacity to be a standup
Comedian, but I think its a start I can stand up.
You know- cuz I'm a product of incest n' such...
And in most cases, a psychopathic offset's enough,
But when you get one eye, two dicks, Parkenson's, thrush,
And a unibrow, you get to know the meaning of tough.
Fuck. Sorry. Please don't cry or scream!
I don't wanna hafta act violently to

[zygote]

It seems like it cuts off mid sentence at the end there. Either that is intentional - the narrator is dying or Vividlyvauge just might have misclicked and forgot to copy and paste the rest. Cyph her was good again, it is very nice to see direct and accurate language without the need to shoehorn in multiple rhymes. I like it, it's very straightforward and easy to understand. Voting for cyph her.

[Soulstice]

cyph - your verse last week really caught me with the hook. very poetic, i was expecting a similiar effort but you switched up the style in my eyes. it was however, still personal and self-reflecting. thats always a good approach to a verse. captures emotion, and you can usei magery in a unique way. i like your style

viv - well.. this seems unfinished. do i need to really comment?

v - cyph. wish you signed in sooner but i guess you could maybe make playoffs. idk

[Vulgar]

cyph her - Cool verse by a writer who is showing many unique sides of storytelling. You told the story in an unorthodox way, verbalizing every experience and turn of events by the main character in maximum clarity. I don't know if I can quantify that anything significant happened in this; escaping, only to be shoved into a more restricted institution for his troubles. I thought it was a good 'lesson' of sorts about how following the wrong advice can happen repeatedly and lead to worse conditions in life.

Vividlyvague - C'mon son. Cheers for the easy voting link. :-)

Vote - cyph

[Adonis]

Vivy - Your verse had the best humor in it I've seen thus far in this season. The flow was choppy as fuck, but the content was actually good IMO. Shit had me laughing for sure, you're not getting my vote though. Sorry bro.

Cy - again, you come with that poetic vibe that I can honestly say I love. You did have a typo in like the 5th to last line or so, and that shit urked me bad. But the verse for what it was, well, I enjoyed it to say the least. The rhyming did wow, but the language did. I don't mind this one single bit. The story was decent, I liked the concept but must be honest. I feel like it lacked a bit of pizzaz or meat in the middle portion. You wrote a list-like verse. example. I climbed the wall, I open the door, hid under the camera. While the language inside these lines were good, I feel like a little more flare, not so much list but simply adding more meat to action and emotion would have secured a stronger victory

Vote Cyph - overall better but Vivid did drop something I enjoyed for what it was.

[King Ra.]

Damn, what happened Viv? Either you couldn't finish your piece before the deadline or you just weren't feeling the topic this week and didn't want to no show? Mysteries of the unknown. Cyp her, first time reading something from you. This was a well written story. Good mechanics, interesting scheme, hard to catch at times or maybe it was intentional? I wouldn't say the story is intriguing, a prisoner who breaks out of prison, definitely would have had to come up with some creative spins to make it such, but this was a safe route and tied to the topic well. I'm interested in seeing how you write the rest of the season and in the playoffs if you still participate.

Simply enough, cyp her takes this easily. Don't know what exactly happened with Vivid this week, would have been interesting to see him at full strength.

MVGT: cyp her. Good job by both competitors.

[patrown]

/v cyph her - pretty good story. showed a solid ability to hold the train of thought and go through step by step. definitely looking forward to more of your stuff in the future.

vivid - that was weird as fuck. got a kick out of it, but not nearly enough.

[Certain]

cyph her: Your off-kilter rhyming was a bit too much at times and hurt the cadence of the verse. But at others, it accentuated your word choice and made the verse feel fresh. The approach to the topic was just interesting enough to not feel overly straight-forward, and the writing offered some interesting glimpses. But I don't think this verse was as fully realized or in-step as last week's.

Vividlyvague: Not only is this verse incomplete, I didn't much care for what did exist. You're so much better than this. Hopefully you'll devote the necessary time for the playoffs.

Vote: cyph her