Week 16 championship: zygote (12-3) vs. Certain (5-4) \\ zygote wins 7-1

[Certain]

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png

Season 3


The Basics | Read the full rules here (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=54688).

Verses are due Friday at 11:59 p.m. PT. THERE ARE NO EXTENSIONS.

Votes are due Monday at 11:59 p.m. PT.

Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words unless agreed upon by the opponent.

Voting on three battles is required. If you win and don't vote, you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your three votes in this thread (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=76797).


Topic


http://i.imgur.com/7JOaCpv.jpg


Good luck, zygote and Certain.

[zygote]

MARXIST DIALECTICS: FEUDAL VASSALAGE AND MODERN DEBT SLAVERY.

Creditors, guarantors and mortgagees, you accumulate debt,
They communicate threats then move to collect and recoup their expense.
Moving ahead, bankruptcy, insolvency, wage slavery, all synonymous concepts,
If money is life then credit’s a coffin and you are killed from the onset.
Draw an inference from it, interest grows like hair follicles, it’s unfair and unconscionable.
Nobody cares while shares are profitable, filling coffer rooms by the laissez faire pocket full.
It’s methodological, when you work to pay back all of the debt that you owe,
That’s like standing in a pit and trying to dig your way out of the hole.

Feudal vassalage, my liege ordered me to scythe wheat in the castle’s field,
A letter with a red wax seal collected taxes and chattel while vassals kneel.
We owe a debt, money and labor exchanged for protection by the sovereign,
Forever we are bondsmen, unable to escape a self-perpetuating doctrine.
We live die and labor under the banner of the Double Headed Eagle,
The peasantry is secondary to the gentry, we are indebted as a people.

Debt slavery, my boss employed me to work a canned fruit assembly line,
Checking each time for defects in design, the voluntary oppression is mine.
There’s no alternative option. The system is geared towards indentured servitude.
Multinationals call it human capital, where margins represent the worth of you.
Independently, workers are bought and sold as generally as commodities.
The employment contract itself places liberty secondary to economy.

Dialectical materialism is the rejection and synthesis of two opposite systems -
The synthesis of feudalism and capitalism is communism.
The real value of profit is cyclical debt. Cycles of repeated production and repeated consumption.
Escape from debt can only be achieved through the seizure of the means of production.

[Certain]

Stray dogs roved the streets in the days after the flood,
slathered in mud, tearing through trash as they scavenged for grub.
Marshall law had taken the city, but government salvage was done.
Cowards had run, and most of us left were rather calloused and numb.
Then there was Marco, 12 years old. He's the kid in your picture.
Brown orphan turned street urchin. Used to live with his sister,
but her house was destroyed, split by the river.
So now there's Marco, tired, alone, listening to whispers.

But what is freedom?

The American system teaches us to cherish a vision:
democracy, worthy of a perilous fight to tear us from prisons.
It's inassailable wisdom shared through scriptures of patriots,
who took care of the children of this bric-a-brac nation-state.
Capitalist ethos tells us power for the people
means that every man will have a chance to rise.
But you can't disguise this hourglass.
We're worker ants designed to bow our backs
until the time is up and we can't supply the labor force.
But we're in the land of the free, even as the tables turn,
and the housing market rises. And salaries deflate.
It's an entire modern generation putting our degrees to waste.
I'll never own a home. I'll never pay my student loans.
My life insurance probably won't even cover the funeral home.
So I'm forced into vagrancy, drifting from rent to rent.
And I haven't put away a cent for my pension yet.
I've lived in four states in the past five years — unsettlement —
and keep my boxes packed but flag high. A real American.

So now there's Marco, tired, alone, huddled by the fire, reposed.
He's seen enough to understand he's finally home.

[oats]

This was a great battle, def worthy of our final championship match.

Zygote: not surprisingly, this ranks among my favorite pieces of yours this season. The comparison of indentured servitude to modern debt, while not a new comparison by any means, was well executed. That this verse came from that picture only enhanced it; the comparison of trying to dig yourself out of a hole worked brilliantly. The final synthesis of feudalism and capitalism creating similar social problems, and the only solution being a Marxist repossession of the economy, was an excellent conclusion. Marx himself would nod to that homage. I think you clearly and effectively conveyed what Marx considered the inherent contradiction of capitalism, that eventually the outright economic freedom inevitably leads to exploitation.

Certain: interesting that you took a similar approach here, deriding the ills of capitalism. I like how you gave a name to the boy and made him into a human story we all have some sort of touchstone with. This being improved upon by your own personal anecdotes of student loans and frequent moving, again hitting on notes that are more emotionally resonant. This contrasted your verse well with zyg's, since his approach was far more cerebral and impersonal. The final line was powerful, giving your verse a definitive impression to leave the reader with. Another great verse.

Vote: this is close, as both of you made very different appeals to a similar theme. I liked certain's rhyming and actual writing more, with a more poetic and personal touch compared to the essay format of zygote. But my ultimate decision-making metric here is who executed their piece better. I think it was zygote. I feel like there were no gaps between what he was trying to accomplish and what he actually did accomplish when he hit submit, whereas certain's verse had greater overall potential with the comparison of Marco and his own struggles, but I think much of that potential went neglected in the final product, almost feeling like two distinct verses tied together at the end. Good shit to both, really enjoyed reading this match.

[Adonis]

Two good reads. This is easy as shit to vote on because you went with a fairly similar route. I Enjoyed one more then the other. Certain. You had high momements, and some OK imagery even if you didn't go into detail with the flood or the aftermath, you painted just enough that I could envision it. Still, I'd like more Imagery in a verse then not. Zyogte, you went all in with your flow IMO. The message to, as always, was very strong. I don't have any real complaints for either of you, maybe I felt like Cert, you had a simpilar scheme then usual which I didn't enjoy because it seemed almost too easy.

Overall, I have to give this to Ziggie, after reading both his just simply stuck with me stronger and gave me the greater satisfaction.

[Bladed Thesis]

Overall: zygote. Much better execution of verse and topic. I felt both took rather decent takes on the picture but I felt Certain didn't flesh out his piece to the point where his stood out. Certain also had wording issues that broke up his piece. Both pieces had decent flow with strong vocab. In the end, zygote really put his piece together better and it worked well in my opinion.

Decent battle, guys.

[King Ra.]

Wow, this one is a tough one to judge. Definitely a nice championship match to close out the season. The reason this one is very close and difficult for me, is because I felt both of you did a solid job tackling the image, but also, despite similar themes, you both went in slightly different directions. Zygote wrote like Zygote. This wasn't the more creative version this week, though your tying of the image to your content was interesting. I guess my knock is it reads plainly. Nothing really grasped my attention other than your use of terminology and the fact you did tie the subject matter pretty well with the image. The technical aspect you nailed. Certain, you formulated a better background to the image in the beginning then the midsection dropped your perspective before tying off with what you started with. My knock with you really is not going more in depth with your story because it actually got my attention. Your writing was pretty even with zyg as well. What this comes down to for me is intrigue, where I felt zygote left me with a straightforward perspective, Certain built more of a story, despite lack of depth, that actually I felt brought more from the image than zyg's piece.

MVGT: Certain. Good job by both competitors.

[e11even]

Zyg- fuck. Great piece, you're dope on your soapbox I must admit. Great breakdown of why life is so pathetic lol. Great job tho.

Certain- i liked the personal spin toward the end of this. I didn't quite like the Marco inclusion but I think I get the relationship. I think this would have been a greater verse if it went against a different subject choice, but you both did kinda the same thing. Good job for what it was tho.

MVGT Zyg for better execution.

[timeless]

v. zyg

certain on his old man shit again it seems. seemed like a keystyle honestly. pretty disappointing for a champ match. zyg came with one of his better verses here. loved the quick escape plan for debt.

[Zen]

Zygote: I read it and dug it for obvious reasons that we've talked on before. Still the writing was very cool. You didn't take any chances this week and dropped in your usual style. You're great at ranting on situations or problems. Rad stuff.

Certain: Maybe this was a key but I couldn't tell. You're great at setting up scenes and giving us every detail of the place, emotions, etc. Cool verse I thought, not up there with some of the best stuff I've seen you write. Why you do dis in champ matches?

V/zygote

This was rad though. Cool battle.

[patrown]

zygote - i really liked your last line. i mean, you said it with the piece... but you really hit it home with that ending bar, without being redundant.
Moving ahead, bankruptcy, insolvency, wage slavery, all synonymous concepts,
If money is life then credit’s a coffin and you are killed from the onset.
....
It’s methodological, when you work to pay back all of the debt that you owe,
That’s like standing in a pit and trying to dig your way out of the hole.
i often try to jump between "topical" and story mode, but you did it flawlessly here. a great example of what I had tried to do many times, and failed at. so, nice job there. jumping from the past to the present was a nice touch as well. doesn't really change much does it? and then you brough it together here..
Dialectical materialism is the rejection and synthesis of two opposite systems -
The synthesis of feudalism and capitalism is communism.
i can't really say much else besides what i've pointed out. you did a phenominal job.

certain - enjoyed how you started out. good imagery. set up your character very well. you took the micro approach to similar subject matter with your opponent, and imo, it was a good decision. i hate to quote half your drop but... i really like this section.
But you can't disguise this hourglass.
We're worker ants designed to bow our backs
until the time is up and we can't supply the labor force.
But we're in the land of the free, even as the tables turn,
and the housing market rises. And salaries deflate.
It's an entire modern generation putting our degrees to waste.
I'll never own a home. I'll never pay my student loans.
My life insurance probably won't even cover the funeral home.
just caught my attention. really held my attention. i was waiting for Marco to come back in the picture more, and you explained his situation without really.. talking about him too much after he was introduced. and then you left it at that. and that's fucking powerful man. i really enjoyed this.

/v ... i have to give it to zygote. i truly enjoyed both pieces. his mechanics were just a little stronger. storytelling was utilized by both very well, although in different ways. this was an excellent battle. with a little polish, certain would have taken this easily. great battle guys.