Certain
06-11-2014, 02:34 AM
http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png
Season 3, Edition 16
We've Come A Long, Long Way Together
INTRODUCTION
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruAi4VBoBSM
I have to praise you. We made it here because of your dedication as well as my own. We've reached the final week of the Art of Writing League's third season, with only the playoffs lying ahead after this. I don't know who will run Season 4, but someone should. It won't be me, which is not to say that I haven't had fun these past 16 weeks but only to say that it's a lot of work and I'm too neurotic to take it easy. I hope that it's be a fulfilling experience for all of you, and I wish the best for those members who don't make it to our playoffs. But I never want to speak of you or to you again after this week. Anyway, we have a great magazine here this week, despite this being a one-man show. And we've started off with the "Praise You" video, so that's pretty awesome.
ITM
In the spirit of the 2014 FIFA World Cup, your friendly moderator and modest international soccer fan picks players who compare best to the 12 writers signed in for Week 16. The rest of you aren't in, so I'm not making comparisons. Also, watch the Nike commercial.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afUUBvWBp3I
Did you watch that? If not, watch it. It's well worth the 5 minutes, 29 seconds.
zygote | Xavi
Our current champion had to be a world champion, and Spain's Xavi is one of the most creative yet fundamental players in the world. He's a brilliant passer but rarely creates the kind of highlight-reel plays to draw oohs and ahhs. That's zygote, whose creativity is unmatched and of championship caliber.
Certain | Frank Lampard
He's well past his prime but still hanging on to a thread. Lampard wasn't ever known as the best player in the English Premier League but now may go down as the greatest in league history. That's a lot of clinging on, but Lampard now is gone from the EPL. And Certain is no longer Tha Talent. Times change.
Vividlyvague | Didier Drogba
The Ivory Coast forward is one of the most dangerous attackers in the world when he finds his form. But too often he's aggressive but slightly off. He can fill up a net in a hurry, though, just as Vividlyvague can get hot and beat anyone. Also, there's the alliteration factor.
Objective | Michael Bradley
Like American soccer players, Objective is a bit out of his element in an English-language league. Bradley is a prototype of American soccer, with a lot of talent but withouot the ideal stylistic ability to meld his skills together and maximize them. Objective still has time to learn that.
Vulgar | Mesut Ozil
Obviously Vulgar would be the olive-skinned German. He's had some injury issues this season but has a crazy amount of skill and often dominates ball control and sets up or finishes on scoring chances.
timeless | Wayne Rooney
He's a workhorse whose name is well-traveled these days. Rooney puts his head down and drives at the goal with great force every time, despite not having the size or natural ability of some other top strikers.
King Ra. | Andrea Pirlo
Pirlo has as much flare as any player in the world, but he ultimately shows his veteran instincts in the front of Italy's attack. King Ra., similarly, is a veteran who still loves to frill up his verses and go for the big score. Both live for the grand moments but now need to execute on the grand stage.
Bladed Thesis | Alexis Sanchez
Sanchez, Chile's golden forward, is one of the top offensive threats in the world because of his remarkable ability with the ball on his foot. He came in and was one of the best players for Barcelona last season even as he was overshadowed by his bigger-name teammates and their struggles. Bladed Thesis similarly has taken advantage and moved to 3-0.
Adonis | Philipp Lahm
Lahm is German's workhorse defensive ace, playing any position asked and never hesitating to handle tough spots. Adonis does that in this league, not getting much in the way of glory but providing a stable presence and making the plays we need to keep going.
patrown | Oscar
Essentially the sidekick to the best player in the world (Neymar), Oscar has grown a reputation for his own high-quality play for Brazil and Chelsea (though he was down last season). patrown similarly flies way under the radar and rarely seems like a favorite but has the ability to make an impact on his own.
Zenland | Gerard Pique
Pique has a beard. Zenland has a bigger one. Pique has sex with Shakira. Zenland probably wants to. Pique is a central defender for Spain, the defending world champions. Zenland is the people's champion.
Soulstice | Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Ibrahimovic is one of the 10 best players in the world, but his Swedish team did not qualify for the World Cup. Soulstice would be a contender in the AOWL playoffs but is a long shot to qualify now.
Week 15 Rewind
BATTLE REVIEWS
Story leads proved interesting this week, but they also generated a ton of no-shows. As a result, we staged two bonus battles, one between Adonis and zygote and one between Vulgar and Vividlyvague. That made for a better week than it otherwise would have been, and those two battles were very good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMfjA4gyEcU
1. Bladed Thesis (3-0) beats patrown (2-4) 4-3.
BATTLE OF THE WEEK! This battle was one of the closest battles of the season, not only because it came down to the final vote, but also because the verses had such clashing strengths and weaknesses. Bladed Thesis brought a lyricism-bathed tale of alien invators, but he leaned on that crisp writing to overcome thin content. With that said, his verse was interesting because he did so much with the idea of "When the gods come," as his first line said. patrown, meanwhile, told a dark comedy about a demon infection spreading from an egg in a refrigerator to a person who presumably becomes a demon. I loved the way he ended it, but his writing was much rougher around the edges than Bladed Thesis', which ultimately cost him the battle.
Crowds went silent of course and the vibe was remorse
Eyes to the horde, these visitors arrived with such force
Flying in swords, humanity wondered what kind of plight was aboard
From the sky came our lord, their own type of Titan of sorts
Their mightiest with a mind for the gore, violence enforced
Appearing to land, the skysword beamed lights to the shore
Striking the floor, it caused a crater right where it roared
Engines humming vibrant to the core as if it was enlightened by torch
2. Certain (5-4) beats cyph her (2-2) 7-0.
Here's where I'd usually rag on Certain's boring-ass verse, but doing so wouldn't be fair to the strong effort put forth by cyph her. She wrote a unique little parable here with the topic of a homeless musician. Her writing again leans toward poetic but simplistic, saying more with less thanks to strong diction. The ending was a bit too tidy, and the character probably wasn't developed enough, and the narration shifted between first and third person awkwardly. But it was a solid verse, one only beaten by the best verse of Certain's season.
A neighborhood of pillars he embraced..
Stringing cords and watching fingers dance..
On occasion being recognized for his melodic grace..
Something so simple.. An unforeseen glance..
A shadow of which compared to others..
Dropped something odd into his case..
It was odd it had replaced..
Anything that had awed into the chase..
3. Zenland (2-2) beats King Ra. (6-7) 5-2.
This was an interesting rematch of onne of the more interesting battles of last season. King Ra. again wrote about deities. Only this time, the topic wasn't the Sun. I think people were a bit thrown off because he wrote his verse as part of a larger story, and if you aren't familiar with the folklore behind Set and Osiris, this may all have flown over your head. Zenland wrote a much more straight-forward story about getting cancer and the ramifications of death on a broken family. His content packed an emotional punch, though I'm not sure his writing delivered it fully. Still, his story was more relatable and approachable, and his rhyming was as strong as it always is.
Television's lied to us by glamorizing death.
They make it seem honorable, like it's something you're dying to get.
You lucky martyr. All the people sitting beside your bed,
Your loved ones, children serving you wine and bread.
A toast! to the wonderful life that you've led.
Close your eyes...
sigh and you're dead.
Things don't happen that way. Not if you've made mistakes.
You gotta have been restrained, not have tempted fate.
But I did.
I can't find my kids today after my wife left with them in May.
I don't know what I'd say if they answered.
4. Vulgar (7-4) wins via El Pancake (5-4) no-show.
Well, El Pancake's comeback wasn't much of one. Vulgar posted one of the most well-written verses of the season, tackling the black water topic with an imagery-loaded verse that probably was the best of the week even though it barely moved its story past the topic starting point. The writing and lyricism and thematic elements were on point and made me want more. He did beat Vividlyvague 4-1 in a bonus battle, though.
Transatlantic geysers erupted, at first the Aussies
theorized the Earth was contaminated by human germs & proxies
More mature parties calculated that the terms were costly
that the surf from salt seas had converged into a furnished, gloss sheen
In massive strains, the acid rains were onyx petrol, Turkish coffee
never served with malt cream, spawning utility worker crossbreeds
they soon populated each glistening urban offspring
no pensions, just a penchant for the murky myrmidon sleet
5. Vividlyvague (8-6) wins via Soulstice (2-5) quasi-no-show.
In one of the week's biggest disappointments, Soulstice posted a no-show verse probably knowing Vividlyvague would post a proper one. This loss could be what keeps Soulstice out of the playoffs. Vividlyvague took a creative approach on the cancer topic and offered some of the tighter writing of his time in this league early on. The ending didn't connect for me, but Vividlyvague reminded us that he is rounding into form and could be a threat in the playoffs this time around.
This was routine. Black cats with a sedative gaze; a morphene.
Caution before me, I slunk along shadows down the torn streets.
Avoiding every miniature crevice, I'd horned three
times, watching night's derivative essence in her hosting.
And in an exchange later she was home free.
"Hey, Boo... my shift is over and I need you ta bone me..."
6. Adonis (7-8) wins via Frank (9-6) no-show.
Though he elected to post a no-show verse initially, Adonis messaged me a very good verse about being a street musician, and it went into circulation for his bonus battle with zygote, which he won 5-1. The writing was the strong point here, as he did a good job setting a tone for this street musician's life, though he largely avoided the second half of the topic. Frank now goes into the playoffs 9-6 with only one head-to-head loss by votes (to Cereal_Killa). His other five losses came in a three-way to oats (with Vividlyvague); by no-shows to zygote, Vulgar and Adonis; and in a disqualification against King Ra. He's also lost three in a row.
Harmony's strung, hung by autonomy's tongue.
But if poverty lacked novelty then mech's wouldn't have won.
Instead, I sit, bearing my heart on a string.
Striking cords for the hordes of beings baron of dreams.
Each day, the same. Stiletto's clack-clack, herding of soles.
Throats choked by ties suited for gold.
Cyborgs slaving for presidential love notes.
7. zygote (12-3) wins via Cereal_Killa (5-2) no-show.
Well, I thought it was well done. But a lot of the electorate here wants traditional or at least something closer to traditional than what zygote was willing to offer this week. zygote won because Cereal_Killa randomly up and disappeared after a memorable title run. But his play didn't land with voters in his bonus battle against Adonis, which he lost 5-1. This one is a matter of how far you're willing to expand the concept of text rap.
JOHN: (to audience) In a way, I’m glad for the diagnosis.
(to Anne) I don’t know, a while I guess.
(to audience) I was struggling. Before cancer I was just sleeping.
Now I have found meaning. I mean to die. Cancer is my suicide.
These cells that uncontrollably replicate throughout my marrow are my salvation.
They are my newfound motivation and my driving force, my selfesteem.
Before cancer I was not a human being. I was a shell, an empty husk, a -
ANNE: (interrupts) I’ve had enough, you can’t always leave me out like this!
JOHN: Why not?
ANNE: We’re the only family we have left!
JOHN: I’m dying.
ANNE: It’s unfair.
8. Objective (1-2) wins via Lemur (0-1) no-show.
There's nothing to see here. Objective won with a no-show verse, which was good enough to beat Lemur, who wasn't seen after his sign-in.
Week 16 Preview
POWER RANKINGS
I rank the 12 people signed in for the final week based on what they've done lately. Last week's rankings were by King Ra. and based on the season as a whole.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GD8hhNtxPgs
12. Objective (1-2) | Last week: Not ranked
He's the only person left who cannot make the playoffs, but he still can spoil Vividlyvague's seeding a little. Objective didn't post a full verse last week, which doesn't make much sense as he doesn't have much else to battle for. But I hope to see him in longer for next season or whatever comes after this.
11. Soulstice (2-5) | Last week: Not ranked
One of the best writers in this league has put himself seriously at risk of not making the playoffs. He needs to win and get some help this week, and even then he's hoping a few people don't sign in. That's a sign that Soulstice was one of the season's bigger underachievers, starting with his opening two no-shows and most recently including his no-show verse against Vividlyvague.
10. patrown (2-4) | Last week: Not ranked
I really liked patrown's verse last week, but he now has lost two in a row and seems skidding from solid playoff position to the wrong side of contention. Last season, he beat Adonis in the final week to clinch a spot in the playoffs. He can do the same this time, but momentum is against him.
9. timeless (6-7) | Last week: Not ranked
One of our more dedicated writers has gone through a bit of a slump lately, with three consecutive losses before taking a two-week break. His last win came in Week 10 against Adonis, and he's also beaten Certain and Mike Wrecka. So he can get big wins. He now needs to show it.
8. King Ra. (6-7) | Last week: No. 9
King Ra. is in a similar position to timeless, a ways from his last win (Week 12 against timeless) but still in good position to make a push in the playoffs. King Ra. took a tough loss last week but now can make a statement against one of our hottest competitors, Bladed Thesis.
7. Certain (5-4) | Last week: Not ranked
He somehow slacked his way into the biggest seeding match of the regular season and now can clinch the No. 1 seed with an upset victory.
6. Zenland (2-2) | Last week: Not ranked
Our affable beard-food collector bounced back from a big loss to cyph her and now is in position to possibly steal a bid to the playoffs despite being absentee for much of the season. Beating King Ra. was an important step, but he now must go through reeling Soulstice.
5. Vividlyvague (8-6) | Last week: No. 8
Vividlyvague is in position to tie Frank for the No. 4 seed in the tournament with a victory. That came after a loss to cyph her when he posted a half-verse. Vividlyvague has done really well when he's put effort in during this season, though that's been too rare.
4. Adonis (7-8) | Last week: Not ranked
King Ra. snubbed Adonis last week by not including him, but this ranking has nothing to do with that. Adonis has been one of our most stable members and is capable of knocking off anyone, as he showed in his bonus battle with zygote and in beating Vulgar a few weeks ago. But he's up and down and needs to solidify his approach.
3. Bladed Thesis (3-0) | Last week: Not ranked
Similar to Johnathan Mercy, Bladed Thesis has made a big impression in a short time. And like Johnathan Mercy, he comes with a major reputation for sharp lyricism from past lives. Bladed Thesis could join Zombie as the only unbeatens in the league at season's end if he outlasts King Ra., but there's a chance he could make the playoffs either way. No one will want to face him.
2. Vulgar (7-4) | Last week: No. 6
If Vulgar continues writing as he did last week, he will be an absolute favorite to win the playoff championship. But this season comes to a close with the big guy not once landing in a weekly title bout. He hasn't underachieved so much as had some bad timing, including landing oats upon signing back in. He's primed for a big run in the playoffs, though.
1. zygote (12-3) | Last week: No. 1
I thought his bonus battle loss to Adonis was more a testament to his enterprising mind and willingness to go beyond the expected than anything else. zygote easily has the most wins in the league and has a chance to lock up the No. 1 seed with a win against Certain. He probably won't be the favorite to win the tournament, but that's probably another symptom of us underestimating him.
PREDICTIONS
Audio killed the text prediction game for a while, but it's back now. We also use this section to take a look at what's at stake for the playoffs in the battle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpyfOYnUGWM
Championship: zygote (12-3) vs. Certain (5-4) | Escape or stay warm?
What's it mean? Winner gets the No. 1 seed. That means a lot more for Certain than zygote, who can't fall lower than the No. 2 seed either way. Certain would slip to 5-5 and be probably around No. 11 in seeding, which would mean a tougher road.
Prediction: zygote is holding out. He hasn't posted a verse yet, though I know he knows the topic. This clearly means he's about to post the best verse of the season and destroy all of Certain's hopes and dreams. zygote 100-0.
Vulgar (7-4) vs. timeless (6-7) | Painting chains
What's it mean? This one is all about seeding, as both of these gentlemen have guaranteed spots in the playoffs. But the difference between the No. 5 seed and the No. 10 seed is going to be very small, meaning this will be an important battle. Vulgar potentially could rise all the way to the No. 4 seed with a win.
Prediction: While timeless has been cold, Vulgar is on a tear. I do think timeless wants to prove himself one last time entering the playoffs, but this is a really tough matchup. He did not seem happy about the topic. Vulgar laughed. I didn't think it was overly slanted toward Vulgar, but I'm factoring in reactions and recent output. Vulgar 63-37.
King Ra. (6-7) vs. Bladed Thesis (3-0) | Grim Reaper's video games
What's it mean? Bladed Thesis needs a win to guarantee his spot in the playoffs. If he loses, he still could make it but likely would be the No. 15 or No. 16 seed, which would mean tough opposition early. A win would move him a few spots up and put him in an easier field, and the same can be said for King Ra., who has struggled against top competition.
Prediction: Bladed Thesis is nearly done with his verse and asked for a line extension. I think he is taking this playoff push very seriously, and he probably is the better writer, at least on the technical side of things. I like this topic for both of them, though, and King Ra. does well with bold topics. I'm still leaning toward the hot hand. Bladed Thesis 57-43.
Vividlyvague (8-6) vs. Objective (1-2) | Hook, line and drinker
What's it mean? Objective almost certainly can't make the playoffs. (He'd need a bunch of people who signed in not to vote and therefore disqualify themselves.) Vividlyvague, though, is hungry. He could be as high as the No. 3 or as low as No. 6 in the seedings, and he would be well advised to do everything he can to chase the higher spot.
Prediction: Objective and Vividlyvague are two of the toughest to predict. I've read great verses from each and terrible drek from each. I'm hoping they both come with it, but I am guessing Objective will use his low stakes to try something new. That's good for his development, so I can't hate. But I also can't favor him, particularly as Vividlyvague rounds into form. Vividlyvague 61-39.
Adonis (7-8) vs. patrown (2-4) | Timely shoveling
What's it mean? patrown needs to win to have a shot at the playoffs, though he might not make it either way. For Adonis, it's a chance at revenge. Last year in the final week of the season, patrown knocked Adonis out of the playoffs. That time, it was winner makes it and loser goes home. Now Adonis is comfortable but still could use a seeding boost.
Prediction: These two are up and down week after week, but both showed up strong last week. I expect more of the same, and I know Adonis won't coast, especially with a .500 record up for grabs. patrown needs it more, though, and I hope he takes time and really works on his verse. Adonis is a better writer, but patrown's a better half-asser, but they won't be half-assing. This is the closest battle of the week. Adonis 52-48.
Zenland (2-2) vs. Soulstice (2-5)
What's it mean? The loser won't make the playoffs. The winner might. Zenland has a much better shot than Soulstice and almost certainly would make it if he wins. Soulstice would need some help from people above him not signing in or voting.
Prediction: This is a high-consequence matchup with a lot of possible variables, specifically related to how hard Zenland goes. He is a fantastic rhymer who rarely sets himself down to pour effort into writing to a topic. Soulstice is the opposite, a methodical storyteller with as much talent as anyone in this league who, if anything, sometimes overthinks. I'm going with Soulstice winning this, then possibly sneaking into the playoffs and knocking off the No. 1 seed. Soulstice 54-46.
Through the hard times and the good
CONCLUSION
I'm mixed on what to think of Well$, so listen to the song below and tell me what you think. He's 19 and from Charlotte. Anyway, thanks for reading. I have no one to thank for helping with this magazine because no one helped with this magazine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxQH4VD9pSY
Season 3, Edition 16
We've Come A Long, Long Way Together
INTRODUCTION
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruAi4VBoBSM
I have to praise you. We made it here because of your dedication as well as my own. We've reached the final week of the Art of Writing League's third season, with only the playoffs lying ahead after this. I don't know who will run Season 4, but someone should. It won't be me, which is not to say that I haven't had fun these past 16 weeks but only to say that it's a lot of work and I'm too neurotic to take it easy. I hope that it's be a fulfilling experience for all of you, and I wish the best for those members who don't make it to our playoffs. But I never want to speak of you or to you again after this week. Anyway, we have a great magazine here this week, despite this being a one-man show. And we've started off with the "Praise You" video, so that's pretty awesome.
ITM
In the spirit of the 2014 FIFA World Cup, your friendly moderator and modest international soccer fan picks players who compare best to the 12 writers signed in for Week 16. The rest of you aren't in, so I'm not making comparisons. Also, watch the Nike commercial.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afUUBvWBp3I
Did you watch that? If not, watch it. It's well worth the 5 minutes, 29 seconds.
zygote | Xavi
Our current champion had to be a world champion, and Spain's Xavi is one of the most creative yet fundamental players in the world. He's a brilliant passer but rarely creates the kind of highlight-reel plays to draw oohs and ahhs. That's zygote, whose creativity is unmatched and of championship caliber.
Certain | Frank Lampard
He's well past his prime but still hanging on to a thread. Lampard wasn't ever known as the best player in the English Premier League but now may go down as the greatest in league history. That's a lot of clinging on, but Lampard now is gone from the EPL. And Certain is no longer Tha Talent. Times change.
Vividlyvague | Didier Drogba
The Ivory Coast forward is one of the most dangerous attackers in the world when he finds his form. But too often he's aggressive but slightly off. He can fill up a net in a hurry, though, just as Vividlyvague can get hot and beat anyone. Also, there's the alliteration factor.
Objective | Michael Bradley
Like American soccer players, Objective is a bit out of his element in an English-language league. Bradley is a prototype of American soccer, with a lot of talent but withouot the ideal stylistic ability to meld his skills together and maximize them. Objective still has time to learn that.
Vulgar | Mesut Ozil
Obviously Vulgar would be the olive-skinned German. He's had some injury issues this season but has a crazy amount of skill and often dominates ball control and sets up or finishes on scoring chances.
timeless | Wayne Rooney
He's a workhorse whose name is well-traveled these days. Rooney puts his head down and drives at the goal with great force every time, despite not having the size or natural ability of some other top strikers.
King Ra. | Andrea Pirlo
Pirlo has as much flare as any player in the world, but he ultimately shows his veteran instincts in the front of Italy's attack. King Ra., similarly, is a veteran who still loves to frill up his verses and go for the big score. Both live for the grand moments but now need to execute on the grand stage.
Bladed Thesis | Alexis Sanchez
Sanchez, Chile's golden forward, is one of the top offensive threats in the world because of his remarkable ability with the ball on his foot. He came in and was one of the best players for Barcelona last season even as he was overshadowed by his bigger-name teammates and their struggles. Bladed Thesis similarly has taken advantage and moved to 3-0.
Adonis | Philipp Lahm
Lahm is German's workhorse defensive ace, playing any position asked and never hesitating to handle tough spots. Adonis does that in this league, not getting much in the way of glory but providing a stable presence and making the plays we need to keep going.
patrown | Oscar
Essentially the sidekick to the best player in the world (Neymar), Oscar has grown a reputation for his own high-quality play for Brazil and Chelsea (though he was down last season). patrown similarly flies way under the radar and rarely seems like a favorite but has the ability to make an impact on his own.
Zenland | Gerard Pique
Pique has a beard. Zenland has a bigger one. Pique has sex with Shakira. Zenland probably wants to. Pique is a central defender for Spain, the defending world champions. Zenland is the people's champion.
Soulstice | Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Ibrahimovic is one of the 10 best players in the world, but his Swedish team did not qualify for the World Cup. Soulstice would be a contender in the AOWL playoffs but is a long shot to qualify now.
Week 15 Rewind
BATTLE REVIEWS
Story leads proved interesting this week, but they also generated a ton of no-shows. As a result, we staged two bonus battles, one between Adonis and zygote and one between Vulgar and Vividlyvague. That made for a better week than it otherwise would have been, and those two battles were very good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMfjA4gyEcU
1. Bladed Thesis (3-0) beats patrown (2-4) 4-3.
BATTLE OF THE WEEK! This battle was one of the closest battles of the season, not only because it came down to the final vote, but also because the verses had such clashing strengths and weaknesses. Bladed Thesis brought a lyricism-bathed tale of alien invators, but he leaned on that crisp writing to overcome thin content. With that said, his verse was interesting because he did so much with the idea of "When the gods come," as his first line said. patrown, meanwhile, told a dark comedy about a demon infection spreading from an egg in a refrigerator to a person who presumably becomes a demon. I loved the way he ended it, but his writing was much rougher around the edges than Bladed Thesis', which ultimately cost him the battle.
Crowds went silent of course and the vibe was remorse
Eyes to the horde, these visitors arrived with such force
Flying in swords, humanity wondered what kind of plight was aboard
From the sky came our lord, their own type of Titan of sorts
Their mightiest with a mind for the gore, violence enforced
Appearing to land, the skysword beamed lights to the shore
Striking the floor, it caused a crater right where it roared
Engines humming vibrant to the core as if it was enlightened by torch
2. Certain (5-4) beats cyph her (2-2) 7-0.
Here's where I'd usually rag on Certain's boring-ass verse, but doing so wouldn't be fair to the strong effort put forth by cyph her. She wrote a unique little parable here with the topic of a homeless musician. Her writing again leans toward poetic but simplistic, saying more with less thanks to strong diction. The ending was a bit too tidy, and the character probably wasn't developed enough, and the narration shifted between first and third person awkwardly. But it was a solid verse, one only beaten by the best verse of Certain's season.
A neighborhood of pillars he embraced..
Stringing cords and watching fingers dance..
On occasion being recognized for his melodic grace..
Something so simple.. An unforeseen glance..
A shadow of which compared to others..
Dropped something odd into his case..
It was odd it had replaced..
Anything that had awed into the chase..
3. Zenland (2-2) beats King Ra. (6-7) 5-2.
This was an interesting rematch of onne of the more interesting battles of last season. King Ra. again wrote about deities. Only this time, the topic wasn't the Sun. I think people were a bit thrown off because he wrote his verse as part of a larger story, and if you aren't familiar with the folklore behind Set and Osiris, this may all have flown over your head. Zenland wrote a much more straight-forward story about getting cancer and the ramifications of death on a broken family. His content packed an emotional punch, though I'm not sure his writing delivered it fully. Still, his story was more relatable and approachable, and his rhyming was as strong as it always is.
Television's lied to us by glamorizing death.
They make it seem honorable, like it's something you're dying to get.
You lucky martyr. All the people sitting beside your bed,
Your loved ones, children serving you wine and bread.
A toast! to the wonderful life that you've led.
Close your eyes...
sigh and you're dead.
Things don't happen that way. Not if you've made mistakes.
You gotta have been restrained, not have tempted fate.
But I did.
I can't find my kids today after my wife left with them in May.
I don't know what I'd say if they answered.
4. Vulgar (7-4) wins via El Pancake (5-4) no-show.
Well, El Pancake's comeback wasn't much of one. Vulgar posted one of the most well-written verses of the season, tackling the black water topic with an imagery-loaded verse that probably was the best of the week even though it barely moved its story past the topic starting point. The writing and lyricism and thematic elements were on point and made me want more. He did beat Vividlyvague 4-1 in a bonus battle, though.
Transatlantic geysers erupted, at first the Aussies
theorized the Earth was contaminated by human germs & proxies
More mature parties calculated that the terms were costly
that the surf from salt seas had converged into a furnished, gloss sheen
In massive strains, the acid rains were onyx petrol, Turkish coffee
never served with malt cream, spawning utility worker crossbreeds
they soon populated each glistening urban offspring
no pensions, just a penchant for the murky myrmidon sleet
5. Vividlyvague (8-6) wins via Soulstice (2-5) quasi-no-show.
In one of the week's biggest disappointments, Soulstice posted a no-show verse probably knowing Vividlyvague would post a proper one. This loss could be what keeps Soulstice out of the playoffs. Vividlyvague took a creative approach on the cancer topic and offered some of the tighter writing of his time in this league early on. The ending didn't connect for me, but Vividlyvague reminded us that he is rounding into form and could be a threat in the playoffs this time around.
This was routine. Black cats with a sedative gaze; a morphene.
Caution before me, I slunk along shadows down the torn streets.
Avoiding every miniature crevice, I'd horned three
times, watching night's derivative essence in her hosting.
And in an exchange later she was home free.
"Hey, Boo... my shift is over and I need you ta bone me..."
6. Adonis (7-8) wins via Frank (9-6) no-show.
Though he elected to post a no-show verse initially, Adonis messaged me a very good verse about being a street musician, and it went into circulation for his bonus battle with zygote, which he won 5-1. The writing was the strong point here, as he did a good job setting a tone for this street musician's life, though he largely avoided the second half of the topic. Frank now goes into the playoffs 9-6 with only one head-to-head loss by votes (to Cereal_Killa). His other five losses came in a three-way to oats (with Vividlyvague); by no-shows to zygote, Vulgar and Adonis; and in a disqualification against King Ra. He's also lost three in a row.
Harmony's strung, hung by autonomy's tongue.
But if poverty lacked novelty then mech's wouldn't have won.
Instead, I sit, bearing my heart on a string.
Striking cords for the hordes of beings baron of dreams.
Each day, the same. Stiletto's clack-clack, herding of soles.
Throats choked by ties suited for gold.
Cyborgs slaving for presidential love notes.
7. zygote (12-3) wins via Cereal_Killa (5-2) no-show.
Well, I thought it was well done. But a lot of the electorate here wants traditional or at least something closer to traditional than what zygote was willing to offer this week. zygote won because Cereal_Killa randomly up and disappeared after a memorable title run. But his play didn't land with voters in his bonus battle against Adonis, which he lost 5-1. This one is a matter of how far you're willing to expand the concept of text rap.
JOHN: (to audience) In a way, I’m glad for the diagnosis.
(to Anne) I don’t know, a while I guess.
(to audience) I was struggling. Before cancer I was just sleeping.
Now I have found meaning. I mean to die. Cancer is my suicide.
These cells that uncontrollably replicate throughout my marrow are my salvation.
They are my newfound motivation and my driving force, my selfesteem.
Before cancer I was not a human being. I was a shell, an empty husk, a -
ANNE: (interrupts) I’ve had enough, you can’t always leave me out like this!
JOHN: Why not?
ANNE: We’re the only family we have left!
JOHN: I’m dying.
ANNE: It’s unfair.
8. Objective (1-2) wins via Lemur (0-1) no-show.
There's nothing to see here. Objective won with a no-show verse, which was good enough to beat Lemur, who wasn't seen after his sign-in.
Week 16 Preview
POWER RANKINGS
I rank the 12 people signed in for the final week based on what they've done lately. Last week's rankings were by King Ra. and based on the season as a whole.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GD8hhNtxPgs
12. Objective (1-2) | Last week: Not ranked
He's the only person left who cannot make the playoffs, but he still can spoil Vividlyvague's seeding a little. Objective didn't post a full verse last week, which doesn't make much sense as he doesn't have much else to battle for. But I hope to see him in longer for next season or whatever comes after this.
11. Soulstice (2-5) | Last week: Not ranked
One of the best writers in this league has put himself seriously at risk of not making the playoffs. He needs to win and get some help this week, and even then he's hoping a few people don't sign in. That's a sign that Soulstice was one of the season's bigger underachievers, starting with his opening two no-shows and most recently including his no-show verse against Vividlyvague.
10. patrown (2-4) | Last week: Not ranked
I really liked patrown's verse last week, but he now has lost two in a row and seems skidding from solid playoff position to the wrong side of contention. Last season, he beat Adonis in the final week to clinch a spot in the playoffs. He can do the same this time, but momentum is against him.
9. timeless (6-7) | Last week: Not ranked
One of our more dedicated writers has gone through a bit of a slump lately, with three consecutive losses before taking a two-week break. His last win came in Week 10 against Adonis, and he's also beaten Certain and Mike Wrecka. So he can get big wins. He now needs to show it.
8. King Ra. (6-7) | Last week: No. 9
King Ra. is in a similar position to timeless, a ways from his last win (Week 12 against timeless) but still in good position to make a push in the playoffs. King Ra. took a tough loss last week but now can make a statement against one of our hottest competitors, Bladed Thesis.
7. Certain (5-4) | Last week: Not ranked
He somehow slacked his way into the biggest seeding match of the regular season and now can clinch the No. 1 seed with an upset victory.
6. Zenland (2-2) | Last week: Not ranked
Our affable beard-food collector bounced back from a big loss to cyph her and now is in position to possibly steal a bid to the playoffs despite being absentee for much of the season. Beating King Ra. was an important step, but he now must go through reeling Soulstice.
5. Vividlyvague (8-6) | Last week: No. 8
Vividlyvague is in position to tie Frank for the No. 4 seed in the tournament with a victory. That came after a loss to cyph her when he posted a half-verse. Vividlyvague has done really well when he's put effort in during this season, though that's been too rare.
4. Adonis (7-8) | Last week: Not ranked
King Ra. snubbed Adonis last week by not including him, but this ranking has nothing to do with that. Adonis has been one of our most stable members and is capable of knocking off anyone, as he showed in his bonus battle with zygote and in beating Vulgar a few weeks ago. But he's up and down and needs to solidify his approach.
3. Bladed Thesis (3-0) | Last week: Not ranked
Similar to Johnathan Mercy, Bladed Thesis has made a big impression in a short time. And like Johnathan Mercy, he comes with a major reputation for sharp lyricism from past lives. Bladed Thesis could join Zombie as the only unbeatens in the league at season's end if he outlasts King Ra., but there's a chance he could make the playoffs either way. No one will want to face him.
2. Vulgar (7-4) | Last week: No. 6
If Vulgar continues writing as he did last week, he will be an absolute favorite to win the playoff championship. But this season comes to a close with the big guy not once landing in a weekly title bout. He hasn't underachieved so much as had some bad timing, including landing oats upon signing back in. He's primed for a big run in the playoffs, though.
1. zygote (12-3) | Last week: No. 1
I thought his bonus battle loss to Adonis was more a testament to his enterprising mind and willingness to go beyond the expected than anything else. zygote easily has the most wins in the league and has a chance to lock up the No. 1 seed with a win against Certain. He probably won't be the favorite to win the tournament, but that's probably another symptom of us underestimating him.
PREDICTIONS
Audio killed the text prediction game for a while, but it's back now. We also use this section to take a look at what's at stake for the playoffs in the battle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpyfOYnUGWM
Championship: zygote (12-3) vs. Certain (5-4) | Escape or stay warm?
What's it mean? Winner gets the No. 1 seed. That means a lot more for Certain than zygote, who can't fall lower than the No. 2 seed either way. Certain would slip to 5-5 and be probably around No. 11 in seeding, which would mean a tougher road.
Prediction: zygote is holding out. He hasn't posted a verse yet, though I know he knows the topic. This clearly means he's about to post the best verse of the season and destroy all of Certain's hopes and dreams. zygote 100-0.
Vulgar (7-4) vs. timeless (6-7) | Painting chains
What's it mean? This one is all about seeding, as both of these gentlemen have guaranteed spots in the playoffs. But the difference between the No. 5 seed and the No. 10 seed is going to be very small, meaning this will be an important battle. Vulgar potentially could rise all the way to the No. 4 seed with a win.
Prediction: While timeless has been cold, Vulgar is on a tear. I do think timeless wants to prove himself one last time entering the playoffs, but this is a really tough matchup. He did not seem happy about the topic. Vulgar laughed. I didn't think it was overly slanted toward Vulgar, but I'm factoring in reactions and recent output. Vulgar 63-37.
King Ra. (6-7) vs. Bladed Thesis (3-0) | Grim Reaper's video games
What's it mean? Bladed Thesis needs a win to guarantee his spot in the playoffs. If he loses, he still could make it but likely would be the No. 15 or No. 16 seed, which would mean tough opposition early. A win would move him a few spots up and put him in an easier field, and the same can be said for King Ra., who has struggled against top competition.
Prediction: Bladed Thesis is nearly done with his verse and asked for a line extension. I think he is taking this playoff push very seriously, and he probably is the better writer, at least on the technical side of things. I like this topic for both of them, though, and King Ra. does well with bold topics. I'm still leaning toward the hot hand. Bladed Thesis 57-43.
Vividlyvague (8-6) vs. Objective (1-2) | Hook, line and drinker
What's it mean? Objective almost certainly can't make the playoffs. (He'd need a bunch of people who signed in not to vote and therefore disqualify themselves.) Vividlyvague, though, is hungry. He could be as high as the No. 3 or as low as No. 6 in the seedings, and he would be well advised to do everything he can to chase the higher spot.
Prediction: Objective and Vividlyvague are two of the toughest to predict. I've read great verses from each and terrible drek from each. I'm hoping they both come with it, but I am guessing Objective will use his low stakes to try something new. That's good for his development, so I can't hate. But I also can't favor him, particularly as Vividlyvague rounds into form. Vividlyvague 61-39.
Adonis (7-8) vs. patrown (2-4) | Timely shoveling
What's it mean? patrown needs to win to have a shot at the playoffs, though he might not make it either way. For Adonis, it's a chance at revenge. Last year in the final week of the season, patrown knocked Adonis out of the playoffs. That time, it was winner makes it and loser goes home. Now Adonis is comfortable but still could use a seeding boost.
Prediction: These two are up and down week after week, but both showed up strong last week. I expect more of the same, and I know Adonis won't coast, especially with a .500 record up for grabs. patrown needs it more, though, and I hope he takes time and really works on his verse. Adonis is a better writer, but patrown's a better half-asser, but they won't be half-assing. This is the closest battle of the week. Adonis 52-48.
Zenland (2-2) vs. Soulstice (2-5)
What's it mean? The loser won't make the playoffs. The winner might. Zenland has a much better shot than Soulstice and almost certainly would make it if he wins. Soulstice would need some help from people above him not signing in or voting.
Prediction: This is a high-consequence matchup with a lot of possible variables, specifically related to how hard Zenland goes. He is a fantastic rhymer who rarely sets himself down to pour effort into writing to a topic. Soulstice is the opposite, a methodical storyteller with as much talent as anyone in this league who, if anything, sometimes overthinks. I'm going with Soulstice winning this, then possibly sneaking into the playoffs and knocking off the No. 1 seed. Soulstice 54-46.
Through the hard times and the good
CONCLUSION
I'm mixed on what to think of Well$, so listen to the song below and tell me what you think. He's 19 and from Charlotte. Anyway, thanks for reading. I have no one to thank for helping with this magazine because no one helped with this magazine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxQH4VD9pSY