Innovator vs. Objective (Topical) - INNOVATOR WINS

[Objective]

Innovator:

Within 2 hours from when you sign into this thread.
16-40 lines.

Topic is Innos signature:
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7586160896/hDA53BCF3/

Unless Innovator backs out and wants this instead:

http://www.stockvault.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/7.jpg

Choose which one you want in the sign in Innovator.

[Objective]

I see you lurking the thread Innovator. No cheating, choose one of the pics and sign in. :)

Links are coming here, don't close it yet:
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=8138
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=6736

[Inno]

Let's go with the sig I gotta couple ideas scheming

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=8138

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=8138

Sharp Nine

if I need to break the votes a bit more let me know.

[Objective]

Aiiight, 2 hours from now then. This is going to be good I think.

[Objective]

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7586160896/hDA53BCF3/

He needed the illest beings with hustling abilities spawned outta Hell,
so he went to the special ed's playground where stupid kids dwell.
He'll use them for war against the gay-hate debate, on his spare time; crazy sex and love,
if they refused he'd spit in his hand, smear it over their face & say; ''You're my fabulous dove.''
He started orgies with old men over forty. It was expensive so only the rich could afford to join it,
they'd walk out with a story, some thought it was sporty. I think it's sick, twisted and morbid.
But all this fucking and rape turned these orphans into monsters of violence and hate,
when they reached a certain state of no escape his crew was complete and designed to be great.
Refined to seem lame it revolves around shame with the darkest of evil obtained,
they're trained hard not to change, the kids seem nice but they're severely deranged.
Cuz this psychotic savage of a pedophile faggot turned them into Satans sex-slaves,
So deep in the abyss of hellish gay-aura 666 appears on their pets graves.
It's the revenge for Planet of the Gays as they've been supressed and dissed by media,
so now it's time to hit back with the darkest and most satanic form for pedophilia.
The energies of hatred combined turn straight people into rainbows of blood,
their enemies cry to death as immortal kids stab them with petrified flower buds.
He designed crew-shirts with the same colors their souls are crafted in,
if you don't think it's is evil; search within, cuz this dude's Lucifers evil twin.
As the kids of Hell drain Heaven for souls in the gif, the pink-demon is on some king shit;
he disrupts Satans goal to start hell on earth just to tell you anti-faggots to ''bring it!''

(Btw: This is my 666th post, did I nail it?)

[Inno]

Disguises his is true iris from which he views the world
And they believe hes a mentor, a teacher, nothing more
But he deceives everyone including the children he watches
Shows them the sport while he makes sport from his options
He can pick and choose from fresh stock of talent at hand
Some new some old from leagues before but they new the game plan
He was close with them all, he greeted them like his own
While we laughed at his set up, we thought he had to be stoned
In a stupid get up he runs the field like a loser in a costume
But the show works and the crowd deems it safe to assume
That nothing’s going on and this man couldn’t be a faggot?
Surely hes not the type to invest in the stocks of children’s assets?

But it turns out I was wrong in askin, see I wasn’t looking write
Cuz the truth is, while I protected my son he was fucking my wife
Nigga In a spandex suit with a fanny pack licking her poop shoot
While im looking after my sons asshole this assholes sucking her asshole with a scoop?

Coach scores wins again…godam it.

[Rawn M.D.]

Um yeah

Objective - Ur verse came across sing-songy at first, but that tone changed toward the end. I wasn't crazy about the theme, tbh. I felt that if u used some more literary devices it could have been better.

Innovator - Im also not crazy about the run on thought, fragmentation that u used, but thats a personal preference. The tone of ur verse was more deliberate, although I thought some of the punctuation (? --> .) should have been altered. The twist on the ending is what sealed this for imo, other then that it was pretty even.

V- Innovator.

btw ive seen better from both u, and thought u prolly both coulda gone a different direction with this, but u both pretty much took the same approach.

[Coup]

thought objective gave more depth and story direction, going from a clear start to a clear end. Schemes hit and flowed better than his opponent. Innovator was more direct, easier to follow, ended abruptly with a plot change not fully explained and did not transition well......same concepts.

v/objective overall a more engaging take

good luck.

[Inno]

thanks for the votes...

will RTF pm me

sorry for the spam

[Spoken]

This match was a reach for both on terms of creating something out of nothing really.

Obj.- you went more for the general use and play to the obvious but brought nice execution with the emotion tying in with the content. The rhyme scheme was kinda stretched here and there... The direction was more the interest to me honestly. Taking something obvious about Pedo's and shit...

Inn.- the direction you took was play to the sig but then u tried to really out a twist with the abstractiveness of it all but I honestly feel it detoured from making it comes strong and just fell flat really. It was a nice twist on it but so sporadic it hits like wait... What... The first stanza should have went with that all the way thru TBH an it would have finished really strong.

Ok I have my pro's and cons on both but my vote goes to OBJ... For really taking the diction and direction and keeping it steady through out with no real swing at something that's off the top.. Inn... That ending damages a lot plus it being horrid with detail which made me mad cause u were looming with the flow tbh ... I just prefer obj. For overall stature being fluid

[Certain]

Phuck Yew, Sharp Nine and Meth, did y'all think about just voting in this instead of upping it a million times? Or at least cleaning out the thread so that it doesn't look like it has 10 votes already?

Anyway, I'm going to keep it short like the verses because I've obviously read better from both of you.

Objective: You played this really straightforward and with more than a little homophobia, so I didn't really enjoy the approach. Also, holy fuck your lines were long. And for a short verse, it got surprisingly redundant in the middle. In short, I was not impressed, which is a shame because in the past you've definitely impressed me.

Innovator: Well, at least you flipped it, and the flow was a bit smoother. I didn't actually find your approach or writing funny, though, and again, I've read much better from you. But I liked that you thought of a way to take a less obvious approach, and that twist allowed your verse to be less repetitive.

Vote: Innovator

[Pent uP]

Obj - the beginning bores me to tears. The descriptions were all over the place and non-specific. The way it was written you were shoving your opinion of whats morbid instead of writing a scene that would allow me to come to that conclusion myself. You said old men over forty like forty is old..thats middle age bro. Just a lot of reaching and poor wording decisions..then I got towards the end and u had lines like the pet graves and the rainbows of blood and how their souls are pink. ..that shit was creative enough for me to like it but it took a long time to get there.

Inno - similar issue as with obj ...bigger problem in yours is for such a short verse you dont do a good job of characterizing the tae bo dude. You also had a shitty twist that fell flat on its face..greatest thing about this verse probably the closing line

Overall I think creativity and story mechanics both go to objective

So objective

[Darth Yoda]

Story mechanics, I'd give to Objective, everything else I'd give to innovator. IT was preference based, and I just think the picture is ridiculous. But cool lil test here.

[Answer]

really hate voting on topicals, but christ - this shit has been open for 4 months.

He needed the illest beings with hustling abilities spawned outta Hell,
so he went to the special ed's playground where stupid kids dwell.

kind of funny, but not particularly witty

He'll use them for war against the gay-hate debate, on his spare time; crazy sex and love,
if they refused he'd spit in his hand, smear it over their face & say; ''You're my fabulous dove.''

lol..

He started orgies with old men over forty. It was expensive so only the rich could afford to join it,
they'd walk out with a story, some thought it was sporty. I think it's sick, twisted and morbid.

I don't really like the idea of rhyming 'join it' with morbid - but it's alright. I'm not really sure where this is going, but it's focusing on pedophelia a lot

But all this fucking and rape turned these orphans into monsters of violence and hate,
when they reached a certain state of no escape his crew was complete and designed to be great.

It all seems kind of abstract to me. Flow and multis are all unpoint, but there's not a lot of lines that I can really deem worthy of 'quote' status

Refined to seem lame it revolves around shame with the darkest of evil obtained,
they're trained hard not to change, the kids seem nice but they're severely deranged.

Alright...

Cuz this psychotic savage of a pedophile faggot turned them into Satans sex-slaves,
So deep in the abyss of hellish gay-aura 666 appears on their pets graves.

Closest thing to a quoteable so far - I dont get how being gay has anything to do with 666...I get the whole Satan/666 thing, but you're putting a lot of emphasis on how gay they are

It's the revenge for Planet of the Gays as they've been supressed and dissed by media,
so now it's time to hit back with the darkest and most satanic form for pedophilia.

Okay

The energies of hatred combined turn straight people into rainbows of blood,
their enemies cry to death as immortal kids stab them with petrified flower buds.

this is alright....a lot less fillerish than your other bars, but being stabbed with a flower bud really doesnt sound painful

He designed crew-shirts with the same colors their souls are crafted in,
if you don't think it's is evil; search within, cuz this dude's Lucifers evil twin.

okay

As the kids of Hell drain Heaven for souls in the gif, the pink-demon is on some king shit;
he disrupts Satans goal to start hell on earth just to tell you anti-faggots to ''bring it!''

okay




Overall, my biggest issue with the piece is that it just seemed like this perpetual feeling of "Alright...this is gonna go somewhere...just wait" but it took way too long to actually go anywhere. Some parts were funny, the flow was alright and the rhymeschemes weren't bad, but ultimately it wasn't the most impressive display of writing ability





Disguises his is true iris from which he views the world
And they believe hes a mentor, a teacher, nothing more

okay...

But he deceives everyone including the children he watches
Shows them the sport while he makes sport from his options

decent...at least you incorporated some semblance of wordplay

He can pick and choose from fresh stock of talent at hand
Some new some old from leagues before but they new the game plan

I've noticed that your rhymes are rather simple but I'm waiting for this to escalate

He was close with them all, he greeted them like his own
While we laughed at his set up, we thought he had to be stoned

Kind of funny, but still basic

In a stupid get up he runs the field like a loser in a costume
But the show works and the crowd deems it safe to assume

I don't really care for transitioning into the next line at the end of your second bar, but alright

That nothing’s going on and this man couldn’t be a faggot?
Surely hes not the type to invest in the stocks of children’s assets?

this is alright...nothing mindblowingly dope, but at least it's attempting creativity

But it turns out I was wrong in askin, see I wasn’t looking write
Cuz the truth is, while I protected my son he was fucking my wife

This is kind of funny, and I'm glad you had a twist to it

Nigga In a spandex suit with a fanny pack licking her poop shoot
While im looking after my sons asshole this assholes sucking her asshole with a scoop?

Coach scores wins again…godam it.




Overall, Innovator had a decent ending and a couple lines that showed some kind of attempt at being creative. Objective's *concept* was somewhat creative, but the second he started writing it out, it's like he didn't even try to add anything interesting, or any kind of wordplay. Flow was about even, obviously objective had multis whereas innovator didn't - but as far as the overall piece that was written better - I felt like it was easy to choose

Vote - Innovator

[Geno]

This was the worlds worst topic and battle ever possibly.
Topic is the reason, its just really gay and led to some really gay verses.

Both were garbo, seen far better from each person.
Objective had more detail and better grip of mechanics and showmanship
Inno did his thing to I guess, but just didn't go the distance for me and fell short technically with writing technique in general.

Weak but vote. I know, but I m not really inspired to go into detail due to the damn topic. Wtf guys? Lmao

V-objective

[Sharp]

4-4

[Zen]

This thing has been open for 6 months? Damn. Quick vote.

First off, this is a funny picture, but not something I'd use for a topical lol. Objective brought his usual style but really it came off as too statementish. I realize that's not a word but it's what came to mind after reading it. Innovator came a little weak in this one too, but his style appealed to me a little more in this one.

V/ Innovator

[KwaL!ty]

@ Objective .. your verse was just disturbing .. the flow is fucking stretched & worded way to much .. it had me losing focus on what you where even trying to display .. like your rhyme schemes are fucking disgustingly bad rainbows of blood & flower buds i just an examply .. please dont take this as me hating because i dont know you but this was horrible in my opinion ... 3.5/10


vs


@ Innovator

But he deceives everyone including the children he watches
Shows them the sport while he makes sport from his options
^decent attempt w/ wordplay

But it turns out I was wrong in askin, see I wasn’t looking write
Cuz the truth is, while I protected my son he was fucking my wife
Nigga In a spandex suit with a fanny pack licking her poop shoot
While im looking after my sons asshole this assholes sucking her asshole with a scoop?
^funny ending ..


This was a little bit of a better read then Obj, but at the same time maybe it was just the topic, because neither showed any real writting talent incorporating a story w/ it & what not ...


Vote- Inny

[Sharp]

ITS DONE