Angel

[Illume]

Deleted

[Advocate]

Enjoyable read for the most part! It wasn’t bad at all. Infact, I’m kinda curious to see how you would sound on an audio version. I feel like you show signs of creativity. I also like how you didn’t just stockpile words that ain’t even necessary half the time. I’m startin to see a pattern of that occur every once in awhile. So keep letting some of the words come to you instead, it would make it much smoother and somewhat easier to understand. I felt like your verse had good rhyming and was smooth for the most part. Hope to see more from you, you'll be hearin from me. Good job.

[brokenhal0]

you have a gentle style its not hood but its nice comes off a little spoken wordish but your mind has a capacity to make it a enjoyable read

[Split]

You shine on my sight, so my blindside’s enlightened in tune.

didnt like that line, too artificially self-aware

I thought your tears were fruitless, but your patience proved they were strong.
I broke and a chance is gone, but one more I know that you’ll give me,
Willingly with me, filled with calm and still willing to lift me ..

yeah that section didnt have much direction for me.


you can rhyme and have some skill putting lines together. i just thought it wasnt very relatable because you were talking a lot about yourself and an unclear story.. it seemed like you knew everything from the get go and were just drawing out the conclusion for the purpose of rhyming.. didnt grab or hook me
just an opinion. keep keyin