Divided Hill

[oats]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/264960_686412666709_228144_n.jpg


life is full of contradictions, truths meant to be hidden
complimentary divisions, each endlessly different.
I've come to find that open eyelids throw a wrench in your vision
so compartmentalize your mind and ride this sensory fission

embrace the static
fade to blackness...

an archipelago of clouds dot the air with a few islands
Lucy's in the sky and she's wearing her blue diamonds
a stream stumbles to a puddle so be careful to move by it
cuz when you hear it whisper you won't dare to abuse silence
the cares of your youth lie in the water's rippled chest
reflecting the meadow in a ballet of silhouettes
as they sway and wiggle, stretching out their in-depth message,
an audience of grass bows in windswept crescents.
then you think next, what if you held the hopes that you used to?
like the mountains you'd conquer and the oceans you'd cruise through
but why stop there? you could even float to the moon, too
lost in your thoughts, breezes flee the slopes to cocoon you.
it's soothing, locked in this imagination chrysalis
masked in sacred wilderness - the magic of its innocence
passion at its simplest, stoned in a natural high
instead of questioning, you'd be posing answers to "why?"
but there's more than inspiration that these mountains can hide
the vagrancies of reality once you wander past the divide...

adjust to the haze
muzzle your gaze...

stained gray behemoths slouch in slumbering stacks
concrete skeletons erected as a puzzle for rats.
the heavens are hidden hellishly in eruptions of ash
but you don't notice it - you're settled in a hustle for cash
to stay ahead you keep on pedaling combustible traps
like your unquenchable elephant bent on guzzling gas
LED is the future, son! the sun is the past
so keep your shutters collapsed - just in case some light might've snuck in the cracks
living the plight of a proton; you're stuck in a mass
and the further you float, the more the others'll laugh.
you hunt for your next meal long as it's smothered in fat
and even though your veins are choking you keep stuttering back
amidst these sputtering facts, I didn't mention the streets
the piss-warm air as it's carrying the stench of disease
this is how life's supposed to be in 2011
business as usual in cubicles till you've pounded your head in
counting the hours and seconds until the final whistle blow
so you can sit in front of a screen till you forget why you're miserable...

I won't deny the silver lining that I laced in the sky
cuz to be honest, every "you" could be replaced with an "I"
yet I won't say it's a lie, my little hatred of technology
since many words of wisdom are mistaken for hypocrisy
I don't totally look down upon the progress of today
I just don't know how we'll afford it - or what currency we'll pay
but if you can move into the truth imbued in this vignette
you'll find a quiet so beautiful you'll be muted to thin breaths
so close your eyes and see the light of everything you didn't know
cuz half of every scene is seeing what isn't shown

[brokenhal0]

stained gray behemoths slouch in slumbering stacks
concrete skeletons erected as a puzzle for rats.
the heavens are hidden hellishly in eruptions of ash
but you don't notice it - you're settled in a hustle for cash
to stay ahead you keep on pedaling combustible traps
like your unquenchable elephant bent on guzzling gas
LED is the future, son! the sun is the past
so keep your shutters collapsed - just in case some light might've snuck in the cracks
living the plight of a proton; you're stuck in a mass
and the further you float, the more the others'll laugh.

insane!! this belongs in the hall of fame you cant hide the light so good i read it twice!

[God Of War]

embrace the static
fade to blackness...
this is like a dope intro type part man

an archipelago of clouds dot the air with a few islands
Lucy's in the sky and she's wearing her blue diamonds
this was fucking sick

a stream stumbles to a puddle so be careful to move by it
cuz when you hear it whisper you won't dare to abuse silence
the cares of your youth lie in the water's rippled chest
reflecting the meadow in a ballet of silhouettes
this had a poetic vibe to me the second line did anyways, it was really nicely written, the first bar was g

as they sway and wiggle, stretching out their in-depth message,
an audience of grass bows in windswept crescents.
then you think next, what if you held the hopes that you used to?
like the mountains you'd conquer and the oceans you'd cruise through
but why stop there? you could even float to the moon, too
lost in your thoughts, breezes flee the slopes to cocoon you.
this is ridiculously nice, the wording is insane, its smooth as fuck the content is deep and raw but the smoothness to it is unreal

it's soothing, locked in this imagination chrysalis
masked in sacred wilderness - the magic of its innocence
ive never seen no one use chrysalis in a rhyme, u did it nicely i usually comment on ery four line sbut i thought this bar was really dope and the starting line was raw again your wording is ecellent

passion at its simplest, stoned in a natural high
instead of questioning, you'd be posing answers to "why?"
but there's more than inspiration that these mountains can hide
the vagrancies of reality once you wander past the divide...
this was nice not as powerful as the upper parts but still nice

adjust to the haze
muzzle your gaze...

stained gray behemoths slouch in slumbering stacks
concrete skeletons erected as a puzzle for rats.
this is sick as fuck and a dope visually

the heavens are hidden hellishly in eruptions of ash
but you don't notice it - you're settled in a hustle for cash
fuckng g bar here

to stay ahead you keep on pedaling combustible traps
like your unquenchable elephant bent on guzzling gas
LED is the future, son! the sun is the past
so keep your shutters collapsed - just in case some light might've snuck in the cracks
lmao this is a nice shot at technology, could be wrong but thats how i percieved it, a dope ass bar either way

living the plight of a proton; you're stuck in a mass
and the further you float, the more the others'll laugh.
you hunt for your next meal long as it's smothered in fat
and even though your veins are choking you keep stuttering back
amidst these sputtering facts, I didn't mention the streets
the piss-warm air as it's carrying the stench of disease
wow this section is fucking raw the flow is insane the content is raw and the last bar is possibly one of my fav in the verse

this is how life's supposed to be in 2011
business as usual in cubicles till you've pounded your head in
counting the hours and seconds until the final whistle blow
so you can sit in front of a screen till you forget why you're miserable...

nice
I won't deny the silver lining that I laced in the sky
cuz to be honest, every "you" could be replaced with an "I"
yet I won't say it's a lie, my little hatred of technology
since many words of wisdom are mistaken for hypocrisy
lmao dope so i under stood correctly i be high at times so sometimes i think i dont understand hsit right lol

I don't totally look down upon the progress of today
I just don't know how we'll afford it - or what currency we'll pay
but if you can move into the truth imbued in this vignette
you'll find a quiet so beautiful you'll be muted to thin breaths
so close your eyes and see the light of everything you didn't know
cuz half of every scene is seeing what isn't shown
this is a nice ending


over all this was dope as fuck oat, the flow was insane, the content was raw it had some insane standout parts but even the none stand out bars was raw and well above par. this was just a dope piece my dude good job. it said 2011 in a bar tho is this old?

[NYCSPITZ]

lol u just keep dropping the illest shit lately...props

as they sway and wiggle, stretching out their in-depth message,
an audience of grass bows in windswept crescents.
then you think next, what if you held the hopes that you used to?
like the mountains you'd conquer and the oceans you'd cruise through
but why stop there? you could even float to the moon, too
lost in your thoughts, breezes flee the slopes to cocoon you.
it's soothing, locked in this imagination chrysalis
masked in sacred wilderness - the magic of its innocence
passion at its simplest, stoned in a natural high
instead of questioning, you'd be posing answers to "why?"
but there's more than inspiration that these mountains can hide
the vagrancies of reality once you wander past the divide...

^^^ word holla

nvm basically the whole shit is hot. good job

[Void]

Incredible.

[Coup]

straight up raw and uncut

[Geno]

This was brilliant man. You've gotten fucking ill during your hiatus from ncs. Loved this pice

[Split]

life is full of contradictions, truths meant to be hidden
complimentary divisions, each endlessly different.
I've come to find that open eyelids throw a wrench in your vision
so compartmentalize your mind and ride this sensory fission
>namix-y

embrace the static
fade to blackness...
>cool

an archipelago of clouds dot the air with a few islands
Lucy's in the sky and she's wearing her blue diamonds
a stream stumbles to a puddle so be careful to move by it
cuz when you hear it whisper you won't dare to abuse silence
>dope line
the cares of your youth lie in the water's rippled chest
reflecting the meadow in a ballet of silhouettes
as they sway and wiggle, stretching out their in-depth message,
an audience of grass bows in windswept crescents.
>strong imagery
then you think next, what if you held the hopes that you used to?
>DOPE
like the mountains you'd conquer and the oceans you'd cruise through
>fit well but didnt like the cliche
but why stop there? you could even float to the moon, too
lost in your thoughts, breezes flee the slopes to cocoon you.
it's soothing, locked in this imagination chrysalis
masked in sacred wilderness - the magic of its innocence
>excellent transitions
passion at its simplest, stoned in a natural high
instead of questioning, you'd be posing answers to "why?"
but there's more than inspiration that these mountains can hide
the vagrancies of reality once you wander past the divide...
>strange syllable slip considering how smooth the rest of the drop is

adjust to the haze
muzzle your gaze...

stained gray behemoths slouch in slumbering stacks
concrete skeletons erected as a puzzle for rats.
the heavens are hidden hellishly in eruptions of ash
but you don't notice it - you're settled in a hustle for cash
to stay ahead you keep on pedaling combustible traps
>fantastic brevity
like your unquenchable elephant bent on guzzling gas
LED is the future, son! the sun is the past
so keep your shutters collapsed - just in case some light might've snuck in the cracks
living the plight of a proton; you're stuck in a massif.
and the further you float, the more the others'll laugh.
you hunt for your next meal long as it's smothered in fat
and even though your veins are choking you keep stuttering back
amidst these sputtering facts, I didn't mention the streets
the piss-warm air as it's carrying the stench of disease
this is how life's supposed to be in 2011
business as usual in cubicles till you've pounded your head in
counting the hours and seconds until the final whistle blow
so you can sit in front of a screen till you forget why you're miserable...
>good rhyme here

I won't deny the silver lining that I laced in the sky
cuz to be honest, every "you" could be replaced with an "I"
yet I won't say it's a lie, my little hatred of technology
since many words of wisdom are mistaken for hypocrisy
I don't totally look down upon the progress of today
I just don't know how we'll afford it - or what currency we'll pay
but if you can move into the truth imbued in this vignette
you'll find a quiet so beautiful you'll be muted to thin breaths
so close your eyes and see the light of everything you didn't know
cuz half of every scene is seeing what isn't shown
>strong ending as well


I liked how this used the classic style of topicals, with really heavy emphasis on end rhymes, but still managed to transition smoothly and use inner rhymes skillfully

perhaps the even more impressive thing about the drop was how it stayed on topic and had really directed development/ specific conclusion, while embracing details/ imagery over generalizations and bland plot advancing filler

good stuff Paul Oatsenfield

[Objective]

Definately agree with what everyone has said. This shit is pure dopeness with a strong message.

''stained gray behemoths slouch in slumbering stacks
concrete skeletons erected as a puzzle for rats.
the heavens are hidden hellishly in eruptions of ash
but you don't notice it - you're settled in a hustle for cash
to stay ahead you keep on pedaling combustible traps
like your unquenchable elephant bent on guzzling gas''

^ Fucking hell, that shit's raw as fuck. My fav lines of your piece I think.

Definately going to read this shit on a later notice as well. After reading the shit you posted on RIA as well you're leading on to become one of my fav writers. Keep it up.

[Just Write]

this was a really solid piece man, I enjoyed this very much. one of the better pieces I've read in awhile. definitely a fan. everything read off very smoothly and your descriptiveness and ability to paint pictures in peoples heads is impressive. I would have probably envisioned something along the lines of that picture even if you didn't post it lol. props man