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View Full Version : what do yall think


gitto138
07-11-2014, 09:20 AM
Its an inferno i sense, im like a learners license, cuz I've pro vision yall,
ive to make a lot of decisions,
so take this opportunity as your option to listen,
you are the opposition,
i should auction your wisdom,
and leave you none the less wiser, and put a stop to tradition,
i have offered permission, for you to be removed from this awkward position,
but no matter wat you do you cant harm me when your locked in submission, unless you hop to the kitchen,
come across a pistol,
and let it off from a distance,
but you missed boss and you pissed off cuz bitch tossed you in prison, your still soft but you'll stiffen, doing short division,
t try abort the mission,
your outta your comfort zone with your wart condition,
no one in court would listen,
so wat ever you snort your sniffing, so stop trying to extort the system,
to support your children,
Im adamant id stay stuck cuz i added her on facebook, she got letter i sent er, didnt even say stuff to try befriend her cuz shes forever at the center of attention till i dismembered the legs of her mentor in a temper and now the temperatures raised cuz i jus let of ten sensor grenades if this is how im ment to behave y not censor my lyrics kill me and have then sent to my grave, weed is a scent tat i crave and i sense a craving but it takes cents to be saving, so makes no sense to have spent all of my cents on the crave tat i scent cuz it came an it went like a storm when the pavement is drenched it became a defence and a fence i became to hold off the defenses aim, as i lay in a defenceless way in a trench for days, but I ain't sick of life,
Life is sick of me silver birch or sycamore tree, NO,
haze ill diminish distributor of cheese Christopher please i need simular signature from the minister geeze or a miniature visitor for the prisoners ease, but there's no solicitor to inquisite her needs for her familiar simpler deeds so she pleads, insanity cuz she smoked the vast majority of trees, least but not last minority of these, Ill digest ur fecies and leave molecular spieces of testicular pieces with my tellicanieses and leave the rest of you speechless while i frequently pester sleepless people in particular regions with articular lesions and leave your jugular bleedin so your heart undergoes irregular beatin then you'll see who's been defeated how much ive eatin don't compare to the words im speakin i spit dirty forbidden lyrics nothing decent i have often cried but optimized never cross the lines of awkard eyes unless i compromise to proper hide my lines provided arrive at the hive all high and blinded from the sight tat guided me towards the hybrid decided to divide it into two bags like i did now i sit back and ignite it.....

Geno
07-11-2014, 01:48 PM
cool. i get that you liketo rhyme. thats great. but something in the material is lacking

you really need to focuss on more concepts

also. like i said. i need to see you responding to other peoples shit really soon or im gonna be closing your threads until you do. make it happen. i will leave these open for now cause your new and obviously need some feedback to get better but you need to do the same. im not gonna come into everyone of your threads saying it anymore. im just gonna start closing your shit. so do it

Inno
07-11-2014, 05:54 PM
The five lines after the first line.

Fire dope. Liked the cadence and
Flow of it.

gitto138
07-11-2014, 07:07 PM
Poetic no ethics flow vetted;)

dead man
07-11-2014, 07:48 PM
I think you should stop posting 3 pieces a day and drop some thoughtful feedback on someone else's.

gitto138
07-13-2014, 12:54 PM
Is this a test, because it just feels like a constant battle,
i wont sit back and guess,
tat you and me are holding on to something tat we cannot handle,
its sad though,
cuz the way i see it from every camera angle,
im the only man you wanna lay hands on and do a pamela strangle,
and don't forget to whisper, softly into to my ear,
Christopher, its not tat offten wen im down u pick me up and drift off too a place less unfortunate and pissed off as i wish you would,

would i rip you off,
of course not,
id get my dick slit off and tortured, put in a sealable bag and forced in, beside the edge of my coffen,
its scary standin here watchin,
this shit happen but from another persons perspective we're about to blossom,
a relationship perfected to expect me t got some,
but i don't have any of it i spent to much energy on it,
and every penny on it are we jus a typical washed up couple,
a hypocrite inside a non touched bubble,
its critical you like this non stop trouble,
cuz i don't feel like given up on this constant puzzle,
it wont stop buzzin,
till it does ill still be a monsters cousin lookin for you and hoping tat you wont stop loven If death was to become of me tomorrow would Ayou follow or would you swallow your sorrows or would you wander around pondering head to the ground frowning in a hallow world so down in the
Dumps your drowing in garbage slumped over damaged from the outside in its carnage if you doubt i win,
who will shout out when i reach my destination its a step im taking to try and figure out this mess im making this is a test but its only left devastation forever waiting for the day you come back to me patiently don't hesitate baby put your hands on the gate and open it save me from ever awakening i hope you will cuz ive took in more than ive taken in my minds made up but aches again

DexLabb
07-14-2014, 12:35 AM
gitto i like ur fucking drive. u got drive and thats what matters. u know basedgod (lil B)?. in an interview he was like man, i almost didnt rap. and make millions of dollars and be on stage w p diddy and shit. but this ONE guy on myspace gave him inspiration. And now he's where he's at. I feel like damn dude. keep writing 100 rhymes a day and even if they ban you (fucking clueless losers) i still got you man. its not the amount of time u put into a track. its the amount of times ur willing to write and write again. listen to me. u got something man. keep at it. keep going. dont stop.

DexLabb
07-14-2014, 12:36 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBQ2mjkvYY8

gitto138
07-14-2014, 08:35 AM
Tnx for feedback

DexLabb
07-14-2014, 12:57 PM
u can be the daniel radcliff of hip hop music.