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YDK
07-27-2014, 11:32 PM
YDK


Also known as Day Day, Kuhn, Lil YD
Active f 2001-2004 then from 2005-2014
Posted on hiphopave starting in 2001 became admin of realrapgame and left for raproyalty rapbattles and letsbeef. And have been on Netcees since 2008

YDK
10-12-2014, 02:29 AM
Imagine snapping photographs, before the tears and after laughs,
Subtract the smiles add the fear, and life is over in a flash.

61 years ago I took my brothers hand in my own,
Back when you still needed a cord to use the telephone.
Back when life was hard but people said it was simple,
Back when only cops an robbers carried a pistol.
I remember that day clearly despite the Alzheimers,
He was holding a ball bound with the same material as recliners.
After that picture he looked me in the eyes, as if to say,
He knew our lives would fly by, if we let them slip away.
We held tight to each other despite losing our mother,
Tuberculosis claimed her the same way I claim my brother.
Years after her passing we started to grow distant,
Yet remembrance is key, when you feel locked in an instant.
I took her death pretty hard as I resorted to whisky,
My brother moved on and I just hoped that he missed me.
I wish I could tell you where my father was at the time,
But we never saw him a day after he quit working the mine.
As you can tell I've been through hell since that picture was taken,
My brother, Gary, got married and my life was left vacant.
I was invited of course but my drinking habit implored,
I stay an hour later at the pub, then I returned in remorse.
I had overslept, hungover, I missed the wedding and all,
Awoke distraught in my bedding; this time I dropped the ball.
I shrugged it off and forgot about the years I had wasted,
Knowing my brother was satisfied and I could never replace it.

23 years after my brother and I had last spoken
He showed up at my door alone, crying, and broken.
His wife had passed away, tuberculosis had claimed another,
And that was the same night that I regained my brother.
We reminisced and laughed; then mourned our family lost,
Admitted my addiction and what my insanity cost.
He helped me become sober, I helped him smile again,
Slowly we both aged while revealing the child within.
We both came to the conclusion we had each other for a reason,
Born from the same instant, recreated, and learned perseverance.
After the miseries suffered we discovered the truth,
With age comes wisdom, and with wisdom comes proof.
We captured one last photo to honor the past,
And with the push of a button...
it was gone in a flash.

YDK
10-12-2014, 02:29 AM
He's sitting on the precipice and feeling a bit depressed I guess,
Debating his existence while deciding if he should exit; yes.
Momentary relapses, reactions turn to paths with no recourse,
No mental resources left, his stresses turn to remorse.

This is horse shit, speaking in third person with no cussin
Ignoring character development like I ain't the topic of discussion.
My mind states minimizing how I'm feelin inside,
So I stop criticizing my mental and just take it in stride.
I'm feeling self-conscious but it ain't out weighing my pride,
So I sit an debate between dying and just staying alive.
I like to reach heights where I'm one with the sky,
And dream of falling downward with the sun in my eyes.
I've had ppl offer to help me but it's always the same script,
Acting like they know me but forgetting what my name is,
I've been at the top, touched clouds and heated them with flame spits
But the world's a lot colder when your back meets the pavement.
Now I'm back to the everyday going insane shit,
Where I try to rectify my problems without making the changes.
I dream of living the high life,
While snorting a perc an swigging a high-life,
Dream of taking chances whenever the times right,
But the best chance I ever had is already past in hindsight.
Now just look at how I'm dealing,
I gotta couple bills I'm ignoring while I'm chilling,
Puffin on a blunt blowing smoke up to the ceiling
Then it all falls down, kanye, no feelins.
Its hard to subtract myself from every equation,
When I'm the one causing problems without justification.
My girl looks at me like I don't love her enough,
But the truth is I'm exhuasted and don't fuck her enough.
I'm working 8 ta 5 then its 2 to 11, and I still ain't got shit that's why the fuck I'm stressing.
Paying for rent and diapers is my main checks concern,
So that engagement ring I got her may get returned.
Now that shit ain't about love its all about necessity,
But I know she'll think less of me if I keep spending excessively.
My psyches fucked up so excuse my crudeness,
I'm tired of excuses so show me where the truth is!
F is for failure and I'm not accepting it, bye!
So I'm kicking f outta my life like I been living a lie!
The epitome of my dreams is just reaching a spot,
About halfway from the top like the thick of a plot.
Where I can rest my body and let my mental rejuvenate,
Without drinking to forget and sniffing shit till I'm closing weight.
2 kids relying on me, I'm Clark Kent for their sake,
Time is my kryptonite and it's eating away at my cape.
I do all that I can as a man with a family and few options,
Reaching the peak of my happiness exceeding my daily allotment.
I been through too much bad shit but my journey aint hapless
So I'll keep climbing till I cant, and my body collapses.

YDK
10-12-2014, 02:32 AM
Demonic urges storm the skies with a heavenly essence
Death is a sentence to those without a destiny present.
Put yourself first but never put your enemy second,
because every second beckons when an entity threatens.
Lesson learned; now let the pressing questions adjourn,
a confession of depression isn't easily earned.
Frequently turned against you in the form of a heart,
It's torn apart and restored; now that's sort of an art.
More importantly it brings you back to the start,
Where life and death burn using hope as a spark.
Like a scope predisposed to puncture the occipital lobe,
The soul grows weaker with every drink and every sip of the soave.
Expecting to implode when you think you're alone,
Leaving a chink in the armor that you can never atone for.
Unforgiving hopelessness, nobody can cope with this sober,
So a crushed up pill and a dollar bill helps to handle the closure.
Acceptance; tolerance mean little when your asking repentance
and every breath is evidence that you cant finish the sentence.
Lives full of lies without the need for disguise,
because everybody's eyes deny their demise.
Soulless body's wander growing fonder of death,
Refusing their fate, until they're somber; bereft.
Hell seems to have an odd calming effect,
Destroying our souls while embalming the rest
Yet we believe we'll never die..
but we're just stalling at best.

YDK
10-12-2014, 02:34 AM
Once upon a time a song of rhyme was written,
It went along the lines of modern times, love; smitten.
Boy meets girl, emotions swirl, and devastation must ensue.
End of the world when a heart breaks with the preservation of the two.

Incapable of facing the facade and the flaws,
Ignoring questions and suggestions, dodging them all.
Is it true love? Is divorce even an option?
Of course,
The coarseness of the beaten path is often left forgotten.
Yet its all for nought;
awful distactions plague and mock an authors thoughts.
He's lost in moments, where to hone it,
he must focus on the tone he sought.
A spoken truth, art; prevalent among those known as composers of plots.
But as a rose grows from the pavement; it still shows that the root will rot.
A weak base meant the speech faced criticism and backlash,
And with a cynical take on the rap he decides to trash that.
Scratch it and step back,
Let the piece lead him to where his pens at.
Started as a love story; ended as a brag track.
"...the fags wack!"
Is all he can finish with as he sees a verse that he laughs at.

Back to the present,
florescent light bulbs accent her essence.
The woman he married exits after making his entrance.
Head in a book again, staring at his nook with a grin,
Developing storylines ignoring the beauty that was looking at him.
Transfixed with the talent that balanced his moods,
Unfinished poems and verses lie scattered, lacking a Muse.
He tries in vain to hide disdain for his own emotionless pieces,
Unbeknownst to him,
his idols prospered in writing about love because they never achieved it.
Lonely authors speaking of things they only believed they perceived,
While he tried to mirror they're techniques about the one thing he received.
Monetary values were worthless to the men seeking more,
Yet to the man that chased adoration, the world lay ignored.

His wife of 20 years feeling like the authors that her husband loved,
And in a moment of self revelation she sighed as she shrugged.
She picked up a pencil and paper off the table he wrote at,
And with her own hopeless feeling she scribbled a note back.
"To the man that I married, and bore children for,
I write to say I love you, and I'll continue forever more.
You showed me the meaning of life, happiness undiluted,
But these past few years you've ignored me and our loves became polluted..."
She stopped there, weeping, trying to hold her composure,
But the lackluster effort faded as she gave up on closure.
Suddenly her husband walked in and noticed her tears,
Walked over to comfort her kissed on her ears.
He read what was written and became smitten again,
Realizing what he's been missing, had also been missing him.
The pain in a poem was more powerful than rhymes,
Love conquers all, but not all the time.
From that day forward he appreciated his wife,
For not only loving him but giving his writing new life.
He learned after years of failure that true agony can't be mirrored,
Sorrow is something only unhappy people can see...clearer.
He finished his heartfelt poems and ended the chapter,
While kissing his wife he wrote
"...and they lived happily ever after."

YDK
10-12-2014, 02:41 AM
I write to you today my friends
To say I feel I'm at the end.
Do not cry at my demise,
I accept my fate,
I will not hide.

I've been searching for meaning, values, and verification
on the rare occasion I found any, it lacked clarification.
I'm not saying the world's evil but most of the people...
Have been at war with themselves and don't know HOW to be peaceful
Wistful looks with despair in their eyes;
Uncaring of life because their struggle just dared them to die
Yet I share in their strife. Concrete feet when I run,
No social life to speak of but why bother with one?
I've only fathered one but I've been a father to some,
Now I claim just two children of my own, my beautiful daughter and son.
I was baptized a Christian under water (and rum too)
I learned to beat my inner demons without help (from sun tzu)
standing at the precipice and spitting off the edge of it,
ignoring all the negatives till I blamed myself for negligence.
Subtle symptoms of depression; I oppressed them so perilously
but my stresses kept pressing; eventually I set them free.
Suicidal side effects affecting lives with no regrets,
Humbling o live through so scars are just for show (in jest).
My conscience Burns from things I've learned
I want to help you too.
You will never see who I see in you,
Until you split yourself in two.
Physically and mentally; what's meant to be?
You can't ignore.
For I have climbed the mountain of insanity,
And became better than before.
When you're on the verge of stopping your climb up
And you're debating to wait or drop...
Just remember what I've said to you,
Because the view is greater from the top.

Goodbye

YDK
09-25-2015, 02:57 AM
A womans looks alone does not determine whether she's beautiful or not
it's like a mathematical calculation between determination
plus a caring nature, divided by the amount of times
she has been hurt by guys.
The lies she's told plus the reason the lies were created
multiplied by the number of times she's told the truth
in a meaningful conversation.
The words she's spoken subtracting the promises broken
add them together along with the reasons she broke them.
Of course there's always situations that you're unable to come to a conclusion
yes.
And this is where it turns into and algebreic equation
where your stuck trying to find the meaning and value of an ex.
Even when you try to figure x's out
the next route is to determine whether or not the x's and why's equal the outcome
thats already been given.
So you can try to use this formula with precision
but unless you understand these calculations you'll never be able to live them.
The sad part is,
most women dont know their own worth
it is something they judge by other ppl's assumptions and theorys
so i wish every woman could hear me when i say
dont ever devalue yourself
because even tho i had eye surgery i can still see
that you are fucking beautiful...
Clearly.