Adonis
07-29-2014, 12:37 AM
Round One Mag: First Rounds On Me
Produced By: Adonis
Feature Artist(s)
ST 2 Lettaz
http://i62.tinypic.com/348pm5t.jpg
Block Beattaz
http://i60.tinypic.com/e0rhi1.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7MupKWV-2w
Round One's Feature Artist is a lyrically talented; conscious artist from Alabama. ST 2 Lettaz is a young and relatively unknown rapper and is basically doing his work from his own studio with a handful of friends that include some talent beat makers "Block Beattaz". The beats are constructed by a multitude of friends that go under a single name A la. No Limits "Beats by the Pounds" which were similarly dope because they can produce album after album and have material for days due the moniker "Block Beattaz" being more than one person. St 2 lettaz isn't the most lyrical, but the fact that he tries and actually has concept lines is a step in the right direction. I've grown to appreciate southern underground artists such as Krit and Gibbs before they blew up. I don't think ST can reach there level, although I do believe he is more talented then Gibbs all be it far less Grimmey. 2 Lettaz, as most artists are, is far less Superior and gifted than Krit, but is cut from a similar cloth lynguistically. He is less conscious or poetic then Krit, yet holds the same messages while being a bit more "Mainstream" or Rapper-ish. Enjoy my friends. He sounds awful on surface, but let him play in the background as you read through this thread, you'll soon see the talent that is there.
WELCOME'S ARE IN ORDER
Why hello there my fellow cock jerkers. This is your chance to prove that a name is a name, but talent; raw talent, is what gave you that name. This is a topical tourney for a reason. I know maybe three people in this, and I'm sure others know even more, but there will be no favoritism here. If you are actually good, then you will advance. If you are dope and are matched up with another elite artist and lose round one, well that's life. I guess you should strive to be more like me. I can only be honest as I type. I tried so fucking hard to establish multiple interviews or guest spots for this opening mag as I literally have nothing to work with, only to be shot down. This leads me to my honesty. I foresee more then 5 no-shows round one, HOWEVER; if you write a no-show verse be ready to lose to a number of writers who signed in late. I took this precaution so we didn't get a round two bye week due to no-show's. You've all been warned, a no show verse MIGHT not get a victory. I do believe you all know me, if not. Hi, I'm an asshole. Let's begin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86od5vo5PXo
Interview
Conducted by:Adonis
Interviewee: WolfDick
What's up brother? The people want to hear from you.
Of course they do
Tell me how you feel about this Alias Tourney and the odds it actually works?
I love the idea honestly. These types of tourneys really bring the best out of all writers involved and give everybody a legitimate chance at winning the who "shebang" otherwise known as "bags sister"
How many (battle or topical) leagues or tourney's would you say you've participated in.
Over the years...I'd say I've been in over 10 leagues/seasons on different sites and probably close to 20-25 tourneys. Individual battles though I honestly couldn't count anymore
What type of person are you?
I am the fuckin WolfDick, King of all she wolf bitches and I shall inherit the earth with my offspring.
Seriously though, I like drugs, alcohol, and any other mind altering substances.
Have you ever been involved in net beef, and how does the Wolves Cock handle such a situation?
The Wolf Cock dominates every form of altercation until my prey submits and I turn net "beef" into my breakfast of champions
Do you envy anyone on this site?
Never
What came first, The Wolf, or Tibetan Fox and why?
The Tibetan Fox surely came first, WolfDick has much more stamina
If a Wolf were to enjoy extra curricular activity in real life, what would that entail? (Get it? Tail)
Chasing said tail...and then chasing wolf tail, lifting it, and pummeling the furry wolf pussy hiding beneath. I would also enjoy soccer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhEpmLikZDo
Some people think Reindeer were the first choice to guide Ol' St. Nicks sleigh, can you expand on the new theory that in fact, his first choice were a pack of Wolves?
Of course! You see when Ole St. Nick's fat ass originally came to me and said "Wolfdick won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
I replied "I follow no man and only lead my pack into glorious battle!"
So after refusing to work as a servant he resorted to asking less important beings to help. (Note the midgets he calls elves and Elk he calls reindeer)
They're nothing more than normal outcasts that he tries to glorify by saying they have "magical powers" but in all reality they are weak, stupid, and replaced each holiday season after my pack and I eat the majority of them.
Add some shit if you want faggot. Thanks!
I will eat your family and let your cat clean my balls after I am finished ravaging your dog's carcass
Psychological Evaluation Using Solely a Name
Gaseous Snake – This dude obviously is one of them closet homo's. I'm saying, not only does his name clearly reference a dick, but also a male anus. Case Closed. He must be Bags.
Detour's Bike – Well I know Detour, and I know he don't write topicals. So this must be someone who doesn't like him. Enter a “self proclaimed” (delusional) genius who is just as much a fag in real life as he is here. Gotta be Veritas.
TigerSpitz – I have to admit I like this name even if doesn't reference Tiger Blood aka my personal hero Charlie muhfuckin Shein. Either way, this dude went for something witty and couldn't even accomplish that. I vote the great Irish hope himself, Witty.
Ed Poe – A thinker? Maybe, I can only assume this guy rides that high horse and is used to feeding on those dick riding votes, but in reality is pretty shitty. Vulgar
BarBarian – I don't even know how to evaluate this shit, I mean lets try and not be such an out and the open loser. This name here tried to be smart with the 'Bar' but fell short on net much like Real Life. Lars
Richard Schwartz – So the “ALIAS” is the real name, meaning his on line persona is more then life? Who spends far too much time here? There are a few I can point to, one being ZenLand, but if you've seen his pick he don't look like a Richard Schwartz...Oh Wait, Dick Shorts; yeah it's Zen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lycb12idlaU
Seymour Butts – hmmm, who could be so unoriginal and young that they would take a line that came out in the 90's and thought it was cool? Figurative bitch ass maybe?
SlutMachine – A man or woman a bit full of themselves, thinks they run shit but really wouldn't know how to blow up with a hand grenade. Adonis
Jhene Aiko – When this name signed up it was smart considering the attention Aiko was getting from some losers on this site. He's sense failed to log a single post which leads me to believe he's a man that thinks trolling is awesome. Gotta be Dagle, or Gamble? In this case either lame will suffice.
Peter McPuffington – The first name to give me an actual chuckle on this list. That shit is pretty gay though. So it's someone who is open with there sexuality and not afraid of it. Basically someone who thinks he's a good writer but couldn't afford to write a check. gotta be Vividly Vague's queer ass.
Siu Mi – So considering I've only ever met one person who acts retarded 99% of the time and writes in a stupid dialect. This name is relevant because I don't only want to “sue” him but fuck him bloody. BigBaby.
Moe Jetts – I hope this person actually shows because what a shitty name. I think it's Joe, and oh what a shitty human being. Based off his name he likes sports, (Baseball or Football) doesn't matter because neither will ever win a thing in my lifetime beside the first overall pick.
WolfDick – Second Chuckle on the list. This person has actual humor as he's since posted around and each post got at least smirk. So it's someone with personality who thinks being cool is posting? Split Eight
Helix – A decent name, but this is a fucking Alias contest. This is obviously a fucking republican as he's already on my nerves and taking this shit too damn seriously. Patrown you pathetic excuse of a human.
Windu Tuako – I don't know what the fuck the name means, but this is a rare case where I can make a valid guess because he's been posting solid, thought provoking lines in the 1-2 punch league. So it's someone who tends to over think shit then.... Diode
Piiz – Horrible name, I don't even know how to pronounce this shit. The only thing I can think of is Tom and Jerry where G-ma is got that hot pie on the window seal. Piiz is obviously one of the most hated here. PentuP
Jack Shephard – Man, you guys make some shitty names. I don't even think this one is spelled right. Isn't it Jack Shepard? So he's the local idiot huh? Rawn McDon
I Am Not PancakeBrah – Good shit faggot, I hope you can suck your own dick because you would then finally be good at one thing right? Cake
Purple Puke – The most hated color of all, fact. That fat person in the av is disturbing. Cereal Killer.
Antimatter – Not a bad name for an Alias contest. Someone who obviously has there wits about him, but doesn’t pose a threat as I already rigged this and know who's gonna win. Innovator it is.
Needle – There are either plenty of dick references or I'm gay myself. Needle is not a good name, but I give a bonus five cool points for referencing Game Of Thrones, best show ever. Going with another sloppy bastard here, Millz.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIYkvmgl40I
Princess Fact – Trolling is not cool my friend, but your troll did make me chuckle. You can't be Frank because I don't absolutely hate your fucking guts, then again Frank slipped past my radar once before so...
The Real Captain Obvious – hmmmm. I don't know why this name makes me think of the boss from office space, “yeahhh, I'm gonna need you to work Saturday”. But it does. On the other hand this is a well known saying, so it's clearly not the best outside the box thinker. I got Mr. J.
Balance – This is a decent Alias name, but you're already saying you think you can go far. Which we all know you won't on the grounds that the winner is who I say it is. Balance can do a Balancing act right off the bracket round one per usual. Oats
Lord Sephiroth – Just like dicks, I see a lot of war references. But damn it, I'm the only God!!!! With that being said you can easily be an awesome person because your name doesn’t out right suck. King Ra.
BigGiantScorpion – I lol'd when I saw this name and av, I'm talking audible snickers like I'm watching Always Sunny in Philadelphia, not quite The Office, but more then The League. Anyways, so he's a troll faggot I guess? There really isn't anyone left beside the biggest pus East of California. YDK
Alfred Kipling – This guy is polite as fuck though, he even said thank you. What type of brown nosing bullshit is this? I will vote against you for being kiss ass alone. Soulstice
Template – Another decent name for an Alias Tourney. Smart and full of him self. A person who thinks he's just that much better then us all. DeadMan, if this is the case, expect a no-show.
In Closing
Thanks to WolfDick for carrying about my personal life. This mag holds just tad less meat then I would like in the future, but running any league is the same as the last... Lives and Dies by it's participants (or lack there of) I hope this shit turns out good. Again, I can only be honest as I usually am, I know that some of you fucks will read this and say you are motivated and then continue to post all week then come DUE DATE: AUG. 1ST, FRIDAY you will have procrastinated your way onto my lengthy list of big FUCK YOU's!!!! Let's be real here, whether you show or not there will be a champ crowned. After you no show and a champ is crowned someone dumb fuck will say how nobody even tried, guess what; YOU didn't try. Meanwhile there will be a few blow outs and a handful of classic battles as well as 2-4 HOF worthy verses. Live and die by it's participants.... I chose to live, and at the same time I wish you all no-show round one so I can crown myself, but the honor factor is strong with this one. Good luck, and may Adonis be sober.
Produced By: Adonis
Feature Artist(s)
ST 2 Lettaz
http://i62.tinypic.com/348pm5t.jpg
Block Beattaz
http://i60.tinypic.com/e0rhi1.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7MupKWV-2w
Round One's Feature Artist is a lyrically talented; conscious artist from Alabama. ST 2 Lettaz is a young and relatively unknown rapper and is basically doing his work from his own studio with a handful of friends that include some talent beat makers "Block Beattaz". The beats are constructed by a multitude of friends that go under a single name A la. No Limits "Beats by the Pounds" which were similarly dope because they can produce album after album and have material for days due the moniker "Block Beattaz" being more than one person. St 2 lettaz isn't the most lyrical, but the fact that he tries and actually has concept lines is a step in the right direction. I've grown to appreciate southern underground artists such as Krit and Gibbs before they blew up. I don't think ST can reach there level, although I do believe he is more talented then Gibbs all be it far less Grimmey. 2 Lettaz, as most artists are, is far less Superior and gifted than Krit, but is cut from a similar cloth lynguistically. He is less conscious or poetic then Krit, yet holds the same messages while being a bit more "Mainstream" or Rapper-ish. Enjoy my friends. He sounds awful on surface, but let him play in the background as you read through this thread, you'll soon see the talent that is there.
WELCOME'S ARE IN ORDER
Why hello there my fellow cock jerkers. This is your chance to prove that a name is a name, but talent; raw talent, is what gave you that name. This is a topical tourney for a reason. I know maybe three people in this, and I'm sure others know even more, but there will be no favoritism here. If you are actually good, then you will advance. If you are dope and are matched up with another elite artist and lose round one, well that's life. I guess you should strive to be more like me. I can only be honest as I type. I tried so fucking hard to establish multiple interviews or guest spots for this opening mag as I literally have nothing to work with, only to be shot down. This leads me to my honesty. I foresee more then 5 no-shows round one, HOWEVER; if you write a no-show verse be ready to lose to a number of writers who signed in late. I took this precaution so we didn't get a round two bye week due to no-show's. You've all been warned, a no show verse MIGHT not get a victory. I do believe you all know me, if not. Hi, I'm an asshole. Let's begin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86od5vo5PXo
Interview
Conducted by:Adonis
Interviewee: WolfDick
What's up brother? The people want to hear from you.
Of course they do
Tell me how you feel about this Alias Tourney and the odds it actually works?
I love the idea honestly. These types of tourneys really bring the best out of all writers involved and give everybody a legitimate chance at winning the who "shebang" otherwise known as "bags sister"
How many (battle or topical) leagues or tourney's would you say you've participated in.
Over the years...I'd say I've been in over 10 leagues/seasons on different sites and probably close to 20-25 tourneys. Individual battles though I honestly couldn't count anymore
What type of person are you?
I am the fuckin WolfDick, King of all she wolf bitches and I shall inherit the earth with my offspring.
Seriously though, I like drugs, alcohol, and any other mind altering substances.
Have you ever been involved in net beef, and how does the Wolves Cock handle such a situation?
The Wolf Cock dominates every form of altercation until my prey submits and I turn net "beef" into my breakfast of champions
Do you envy anyone on this site?
Never
What came first, The Wolf, or Tibetan Fox and why?
The Tibetan Fox surely came first, WolfDick has much more stamina
If a Wolf were to enjoy extra curricular activity in real life, what would that entail? (Get it? Tail)
Chasing said tail...and then chasing wolf tail, lifting it, and pummeling the furry wolf pussy hiding beneath. I would also enjoy soccer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhEpmLikZDo
Some people think Reindeer were the first choice to guide Ol' St. Nicks sleigh, can you expand on the new theory that in fact, his first choice were a pack of Wolves?
Of course! You see when Ole St. Nick's fat ass originally came to me and said "Wolfdick won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
I replied "I follow no man and only lead my pack into glorious battle!"
So after refusing to work as a servant he resorted to asking less important beings to help. (Note the midgets he calls elves and Elk he calls reindeer)
They're nothing more than normal outcasts that he tries to glorify by saying they have "magical powers" but in all reality they are weak, stupid, and replaced each holiday season after my pack and I eat the majority of them.
Add some shit if you want faggot. Thanks!
I will eat your family and let your cat clean my balls after I am finished ravaging your dog's carcass
Psychological Evaluation Using Solely a Name
Gaseous Snake – This dude obviously is one of them closet homo's. I'm saying, not only does his name clearly reference a dick, but also a male anus. Case Closed. He must be Bags.
Detour's Bike – Well I know Detour, and I know he don't write topicals. So this must be someone who doesn't like him. Enter a “self proclaimed” (delusional) genius who is just as much a fag in real life as he is here. Gotta be Veritas.
TigerSpitz – I have to admit I like this name even if doesn't reference Tiger Blood aka my personal hero Charlie muhfuckin Shein. Either way, this dude went for something witty and couldn't even accomplish that. I vote the great Irish hope himself, Witty.
Ed Poe – A thinker? Maybe, I can only assume this guy rides that high horse and is used to feeding on those dick riding votes, but in reality is pretty shitty. Vulgar
BarBarian – I don't even know how to evaluate this shit, I mean lets try and not be such an out and the open loser. This name here tried to be smart with the 'Bar' but fell short on net much like Real Life. Lars
Richard Schwartz – So the “ALIAS” is the real name, meaning his on line persona is more then life? Who spends far too much time here? There are a few I can point to, one being ZenLand, but if you've seen his pick he don't look like a Richard Schwartz...Oh Wait, Dick Shorts; yeah it's Zen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lycb12idlaU
Seymour Butts – hmmm, who could be so unoriginal and young that they would take a line that came out in the 90's and thought it was cool? Figurative bitch ass maybe?
SlutMachine – A man or woman a bit full of themselves, thinks they run shit but really wouldn't know how to blow up with a hand grenade. Adonis
Jhene Aiko – When this name signed up it was smart considering the attention Aiko was getting from some losers on this site. He's sense failed to log a single post which leads me to believe he's a man that thinks trolling is awesome. Gotta be Dagle, or Gamble? In this case either lame will suffice.
Peter McPuffington – The first name to give me an actual chuckle on this list. That shit is pretty gay though. So it's someone who is open with there sexuality and not afraid of it. Basically someone who thinks he's a good writer but couldn't afford to write a check. gotta be Vividly Vague's queer ass.
Siu Mi – So considering I've only ever met one person who acts retarded 99% of the time and writes in a stupid dialect. This name is relevant because I don't only want to “sue” him but fuck him bloody. BigBaby.
Moe Jetts – I hope this person actually shows because what a shitty name. I think it's Joe, and oh what a shitty human being. Based off his name he likes sports, (Baseball or Football) doesn't matter because neither will ever win a thing in my lifetime beside the first overall pick.
WolfDick – Second Chuckle on the list. This person has actual humor as he's since posted around and each post got at least smirk. So it's someone with personality who thinks being cool is posting? Split Eight
Helix – A decent name, but this is a fucking Alias contest. This is obviously a fucking republican as he's already on my nerves and taking this shit too damn seriously. Patrown you pathetic excuse of a human.
Windu Tuako – I don't know what the fuck the name means, but this is a rare case where I can make a valid guess because he's been posting solid, thought provoking lines in the 1-2 punch league. So it's someone who tends to over think shit then.... Diode
Piiz – Horrible name, I don't even know how to pronounce this shit. The only thing I can think of is Tom and Jerry where G-ma is got that hot pie on the window seal. Piiz is obviously one of the most hated here. PentuP
Jack Shephard – Man, you guys make some shitty names. I don't even think this one is spelled right. Isn't it Jack Shepard? So he's the local idiot huh? Rawn McDon
I Am Not PancakeBrah – Good shit faggot, I hope you can suck your own dick because you would then finally be good at one thing right? Cake
Purple Puke – The most hated color of all, fact. That fat person in the av is disturbing. Cereal Killer.
Antimatter – Not a bad name for an Alias contest. Someone who obviously has there wits about him, but doesn’t pose a threat as I already rigged this and know who's gonna win. Innovator it is.
Needle – There are either plenty of dick references or I'm gay myself. Needle is not a good name, but I give a bonus five cool points for referencing Game Of Thrones, best show ever. Going with another sloppy bastard here, Millz.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIYkvmgl40I
Princess Fact – Trolling is not cool my friend, but your troll did make me chuckle. You can't be Frank because I don't absolutely hate your fucking guts, then again Frank slipped past my radar once before so...
The Real Captain Obvious – hmmmm. I don't know why this name makes me think of the boss from office space, “yeahhh, I'm gonna need you to work Saturday”. But it does. On the other hand this is a well known saying, so it's clearly not the best outside the box thinker. I got Mr. J.
Balance – This is a decent Alias name, but you're already saying you think you can go far. Which we all know you won't on the grounds that the winner is who I say it is. Balance can do a Balancing act right off the bracket round one per usual. Oats
Lord Sephiroth – Just like dicks, I see a lot of war references. But damn it, I'm the only God!!!! With that being said you can easily be an awesome person because your name doesn’t out right suck. King Ra.
BigGiantScorpion – I lol'd when I saw this name and av, I'm talking audible snickers like I'm watching Always Sunny in Philadelphia, not quite The Office, but more then The League. Anyways, so he's a troll faggot I guess? There really isn't anyone left beside the biggest pus East of California. YDK
Alfred Kipling – This guy is polite as fuck though, he even said thank you. What type of brown nosing bullshit is this? I will vote against you for being kiss ass alone. Soulstice
Template – Another decent name for an Alias Tourney. Smart and full of him self. A person who thinks he's just that much better then us all. DeadMan, if this is the case, expect a no-show.
In Closing
Thanks to WolfDick for carrying about my personal life. This mag holds just tad less meat then I would like in the future, but running any league is the same as the last... Lives and Dies by it's participants (or lack there of) I hope this shit turns out good. Again, I can only be honest as I usually am, I know that some of you fucks will read this and say you are motivated and then continue to post all week then come DUE DATE: AUG. 1ST, FRIDAY you will have procrastinated your way onto my lengthy list of big FUCK YOU's!!!! Let's be real here, whether you show or not there will be a champ crowned. After you no show and a champ is crowned someone dumb fuck will say how nobody even tried, guess what; YOU didn't try. Meanwhile there will be a few blow outs and a handful of classic battles as well as 2-4 HOF worthy verses. Live and die by it's participants.... I chose to live, and at the same time I wish you all no-show round one so I can crown myself, but the honor factor is strong with this one. Good luck, and may Adonis be sober.