R2: Gaseous Snake vs. Wolfdick - [Gaseous Snakes Advances 8-1]

[King Ra.]

http://i.imgur.com/48q0Ja9.gif

Verses are due Friday, August 8th, 2:59 a.m. Eastern Time.
No Extensions. No Exceptions.

Verses must be a minimum of 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines or 650 words.

Votes are due Sunday, August 10th, 2:59 a.m. Eastern Time.

View other rules: HERE (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=84794)


TOPIC:

Timendi causa est nescire.
"Ignorance is the cause of fear."
- Seneca.


gaseous snake wolfdick

Good luck to both competitors.

[wolfdick]

Ahhh finally I am released upon the masses.
this is my check, and shall be your downfall

[gaseous snake]

Take a step to rewind; what are the facts that you know?
A modicum of rote knowledge. Smile with a saccharine glow.
A Google Search as your College, you smatter the notes.
Fatten the chode. Gorge on the backspace century's flattering boast
Raise a glass to the smart phone tapestry, clad in maxim's remote;
Bar bet barbiturate. Target acquired with a click screen; passively scroll
and prove to constituents as you type fastest to fasten your hold
on the Quicktime genius you've impassioned and groped.

Glom to the ejaculate of being so right. Golem with a ring in his sight.
You're a problem solving, all encompassing God with divinity's might.
An Infinity Gauntlet, with service from Sprint giving you the nerve to object;
In your hand every word that's printed, mint with a recursive subtext.
Get emerged in the most perfected of tech. Fuck insight, fashioned by you
You're backed by the truth. A squawk box for a wiki's facts on your tube.
Each spoken word cited. Cultured, with the ease of hitting free throws;
The least ignorant isn't determined by intellect, but the quickest keystroke.

Social Darwinism. You can fuck if you're smart; broach the bar with wisdom.
No need to fear reprisals. You're confident. A totem, a tsar with vision;
Ruler of the fiefdom. A complete human. A defender with marked precision.
Along with...everyone else. Heads down, eyeing the screen in locked position
so attached to the current they wouldn't even know if a spark had hit them;
genuine ingenuity is a total Kafka victim. What did it do? Nothing at all.
It just got swallowed up by the fear of being wrong. If you jump you could fall.
Easier just to left click and let it decide what to call.

You should be fearful. You still can't answer the most pressing of queries.
The Existentialism App failed to install, plus with the fees it'd cost the messenger dearly.
With sections and lessons so helplessly dreary, and it's message so eerie,
it's better to leave that mess to less tech savvy, the sect of the leery.
Stick the hard and fast, the scads of stats and dates and times
It's comfortable, confined. The tentacles don't tax or rake the mind
or exacerbate in time. The coin lands head or tails, in the beat of a blink;
it never lands on it side forcing you to dig deeper, to think.

Any idiot can win a debate, with enough conviction and connection speed.
We all need the last word. To confirm our worth, that the breadth of our intellect succeeds.
Being right is warm. One of the best reliefs, passing a social test in spades.
I'm not a fool. I know the score. The assurance rises and the pressure fades.
Like it's something you can wrest away. A conquest near and dear to the home.
Chipping away at the darkness, and simultaneous at our fear of the unknown.
We're not any smarter or aware, in our movements in the fray
we're just better at quickly convincing ourselves that we shouldn't be afraid,
which in the end is worse, in a different way
the opiate of confidence is just a click away.

[wolfdick]

Ignorance is the passageway; macrame, when shit gets real Anne Hathaway, I dont have to feel, castaway. Skip the matinee's because what I'm left with his half a day, living life in a massive haze cremate my soul blow the ash away. My body's nothing but a gaseous snake embalmed in the fascist ways off Cassius; clay cant retain the heat I display when I'm pissed and play the part of the coward sniffin coke at the cabaret. Solitude, a solemn mood yet still I follow YOU through the darkness of life's slalom ruse. More beautiful than an autumn bloom, it's blossom's hues sabotage the forgotten roots till the problems often soften the impact of the pollen's muse. Desperation, depression, devaluating expressions digressing to the extent of losing connection with heaven; the precious question of the greatest weapon is deafened, What is the meaning of life...lessons.

[Adonis]

Rise

[Seymour BUTTS]

Yo dope ass battle, enjoyed both verses bros.

Gaseous Snake. Wording, execution and cadence were all dope, and it included the type of philosophical profundity which is right up my alley. Lots of unique witticisms and a singular thread tying the piece together. I like the theme of technology invading our subconscious to the extent we're not even aware that's it's the primary root of our fear. I'm not going to quote one line because I thought the piece as a whole was quotable. Outstanding work.

Wolfdick. This was dope shit. "Solitude, a solemn mood yet still I follow YOU through the darkness of life's slalom ruse. More beautiful than an autumn bloom, it's blossom's hues sabotage the forgotten roots till the problems often soften the impact of the pollen's muse"

^^^ omg. nasty.

The swag and flow shit was ill and you tied it into a cool little aesop ish ending. Personally, you obviously have the mark of a veteran. Ending I liked the best maybe out of all verses this round. I thought Gas was more consistent this time and had his verse fleshed out a bit more but dope verses from both competitors.

V/ Gaseous Snake

[Template]

gas snake is very gewd here. impressive verse. I have nothing bad to say about it so maybe I'll just guess who you are, and if I do then you get kicked out of tourney for not having an alias and I champ easier. no maybe not. ok then. I think you used a relevant example to discuss the relationship between ignorance and fear, citing a fundamental paradox that we're afraid of being ignorant (or being seen as ignorant at least), only to pursue ignorance to quell our fears. technology and the internet and hiding behind google to make us look smart etc etc was all perfect really, fuck off. honestly best verse of the tourney so far, first two stanzas are HOF.

wolf dick ok name kinda sophomoric like "OMG HE ATE SOMEONE'S JIZZ!" obnoxious american pie humour but hey we all laughed at that shit at one point can't judge you. your verse gets approval, hey mikey! I like it. good rhyming and run ons and cool images and shit, like the bee being the pollen's muse, most poetic thing ever from someone with the moniker wolfdick, I guarantee that. the driving force of this verse being the ignorance is bliss arbitrarily spattered across the rhymes was meh to me tbh. kinda cliche, and even though your verse was dopely rhymed and written, it didn't shed any new angle on ignorance is bliss, which kinda hit your verse in the nuts a little, enough to let gas snake build a better lead while yours recovered on one knee

vote gas snake

[Richard Schwartz]

Gas - I think you know what you've done here... This is a great concept and obviously a lot of work went into your verse. It was impressive. That being said, I thought it was unnecessarily complicated at points and maybe could've had more impact if some of the language was more accessible.

Wolfpeen - this had some cool rhymes and was fun to read but in terms of substance Gaseous snake's verse blows you out of the water. I didn't dislike what you did but it just didn't shine when put next to your opponent's verse. I would've liked some storyline or something.

Vote - Gaseous Snake

[Peter McPuffington]

I can only be honest. Gas, your verse came off as many words strung together. In some lines it seemed like you were adding multies because you CAN, and not because it fit per say. Dick countered this using your rhyme scheme only in a more fluid manner. He also had a single line in the middle that fucked up that entire attempt. Well I don't think either of you did above average, I don't think you either wrote something valiant of a champ match either. So when I vote I'll ignore the better writing and instead go with what style ingrigues me more in the future as I will be voting.

Gas - I think you should not have such long lines and still focus on your rhyme scheme which is good. But you add a lot of meat to a verse stretching the scheme to rhyme a certain format, next time just rhyme...

Voting - Dick

[Certain]

gaseous snake: There were some really great quotes to be pulled from this dense verse. It certainly was an impressive display on the level that this genre of writing allows. You handled a lot of aspects of the modern culture, and you did so with deftness but without subtlety. It almost felt like the melding of the 10-line verses by Mike Wrecka and Split in their recent Battle Arena match. There were times that you got a little too preachy, but mostly the issue here was that you slipped into loquaciousness. Some of these segments were serious mouthfuls when the wording easily could have been tightened. The complexity and deftness of the rhymes helped. But while none of the thought here was original in the grand scheme, the way you wove these cogent points together was impressive. You moved the verse very fluidly to your conclusion and made a very real statement about the difference between intelligence and resourcefulness. I liked this verse, and with some paring down, it could have been great.

wolfdick: Basically, you rhymed a lot. Those rhymes didn't always mean anything. Sometimes they did. Sometimes you had very nice points, particularly off the "mood" rhyme in the middle. But the rhymes were easy, and you put them ahead of any real content or approach on the topic. The little red letters gimmick was silly because any verse long enough could have spelled it out like that. Had you written a 16-line verse with those letter as the opening letters to each line, I would have been more impressed. But the verse didn't tie into that context anyway. I liked bits of it, but it felt like a free-writing exercise after you saw gaseous snake's very good verse and decided against putting in enough effort to beat it.

Vote: gaseous snake

[SlutMachine]

Gaseous snake - Word to all of this shit. Knowledge today is conceptualized by wikipedia. Thought it was cool how you attacked the topic along with the execution of it. This was dope af imo: ''You should be fearful. You still can't answer the most pressing of queries. The Existentialism App failed to install, plus with the fees it'd cost the messenger dearly.'' The verse as a whole was great to me.

wolfdick - Dope verse you got going here, fluent flow, cool lines here and there, all that jazz. But overall you're losing points on content... This particular doesn't hold up in this kind of format, against a very thought out concept it's coming at a loss imo.

Vote - Gaseous snake. Pretty cool battle, enjoyed both verses in their respective style.

[Jhene Aiko]

Gaseous - liked the take on the take on the topic. Verse was a little drawn out but the vibe of everything was very experienced. Love the old folks who have stories for days and know everything they do based from experience as opposed to the society portrayed in your verse. Dope.

Dick - I think that spelling out a phrase out of 400 other character shit is stupid. The verse fluid and felt like a technical exercise but fell flat on the concept and execution

Vote gas

[Piiz]

snake, good descriptions throughout. you evidently put some thought into the concept before starting. felt lines were pretty long, made for some different stuff scheme wise. read nicely, good imagery, good showing.

wolf. nice flow but you didnt rly build towards anything. strung a couple lines together here and there but too many random tangents. missing too many prerequisites of a quality topical verse to be considered a close contest imo.

+1 snake

[Siu Mi]

Solid gas snake big boss was breathtaking like a leap off of 20 ft high curb into puddle-diluted breath mint, your pixie body drowning in freshness. Eye-opening and full of revelation and utter pussywetting awesomeness indeed, and I loved every word. This was poetry of a higher shelf like perfectly aged wine, encouraging me to not just look and read, but to pay attention as to avoid missing this unicorn's each beautiful step. Nice ^.^

Hey Dickin-the-wood McWolfensnot you were really cool too. Yours was shorter but you know, it's more about the motion in the ocean and you definitely had that. I think just to compare how much was written would just be unfair, but the levels of quality are closer than that and you wrote well ^.^ I'm not sure if I'm right but I think a little something felt missing for me, good loveliness anyways.

Choosing snake !