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View Full Version : goofy rhyme for fellow lyricists


Pharaohs Army
08-02-2014, 11:39 PM
so-i got my Neck Snapped by the Next Rapper who Said It Better.
my Metal Jacket of Heavy Armor did nothing to Impede Their Progress.
"go Easy On Me",
i said..
but Needless ta Say my Spleen was Flayed in the Meanest Way,
&when it was All Over my Organs Looked'as Cream Of Wheat.

JESODIST
08-03-2014, 01:13 AM
ah-Yes i Rhyme for the Sake of Rhyming Bad,,

I hate you for this^ You got potential and are just hiding it.

Pharaohs Army
08-03-2014, 01:29 AM
haha...
I know what you mean, but what i really mean is that over my time of learning how to rap I've come to appreciate Near-Rhymes, in vocals, rather than always trying to find the clean rhyme.
I'm still experimenting and my satirical tone is something that I fall back on. but i will post something "serious" here eventually when the mood strikes me

gitto138
08-03-2014, 06:53 AM
Don't be so harsh on the new customer services limited

dull boy
08-03-2014, 07:36 AM
This was cool.

big baby
08-03-2014, 10:37 AM
you remind me of wise ways not on drugs. the gut section was intriguing. keep it up. you and wiseways should collab.

Pharaohs Army
08-03-2014, 02:54 PM
lol @ "not on drugs". okay i'll look him up

Fig
08-03-2014, 03:25 PM
dope. sorry thats shit feed. but this is dope for its originality

Pharaohs Army
08-03-2014, 08:25 PM
thanks i feel like i recognize your name from somewhere.

Alfred Kipling
08-03-2014, 08:26 PM
This Was Goofy And Fun And Interesting

UnbornBuddha
08-05-2014, 12:14 AM
I appreciate the involvement, however slight the inspiration. This piece is comical. It had a flair of pizzazz and the head lice line is funny. I do confess that as someone who likes to rhyme in such way I might be getting it, jk. Sometimes your rhyme scheme seems a bit off which throws of the flow a bit. But other than that, I think this was okay. This seemed more like a fun piece, than anything really serious. Although even this piece of lightheartedness should not be taken lightly when writing. Everything one writes one should put their entire heart in. Well that's what I think, you could disagree. But anyways, l also like the first 4 introductory lines because they have a pertinence to it that highlights the small things in life. Such as finding a new song, being enamored by it, and then listening to it so much one's perceptions of it begin to change. Keep writing.

Wise Wiggles
08-05-2014, 09:08 AM
you remind me of wise ways not on drugs. the gut section was intriguing. keep it up. you and wiseways should collab.

What makes you think I won't cut you?

Eŋg
08-05-2014, 03:07 PM
lol, i enjoyed this. it felt like you were doing you, for the most part, and there's little else i could ask for. the rhythm was there. you had some interesting concepts and palpable humour. felt unserious in a liberating way. keep doing it.