deadman: on nonsense

[dead man]

am i overindulgent or am i undeveloped
it's just another dilemma we've hidden under the rug
a new suburban asylum earns me a stub for the Metra
cross-terrain in search of something to love
pull the plug. dual person personifier promiscuous rat
and everyone i know is on a similar track
you are the top 5 people you consider your pack
shifting endlessly as friendships collapse. pressure react
time and space and slow to motivate. dead in the water
far less than an author. known anywhere from Geoffrey to Chaucer
stroked the furry wall once she extended an offer
on the house. pussy purrs for both a prince and a pauper
economics and culture. red the rum, colonic the ulcers
i'll watch apocalypto as the comet approaches

dead

[NYCSPITZ]

i love this shit b and i don't type all sweet like that usually my nigga

[gitto138]

Cool concept dude

[Eŋg]

parts of this made me smile. the furry walls line was stupid (in a good way) - segment bout top 5/consider your pack/friendships collapse was dope to me. spoof, exercise or truth? this is cool shit though always good to read from you.

[Seymour BUTTS]

parts of this made me smile. the furry walls line was stupid (in a good way) - segment bout top 5/consider your pack/friendships collapse was dope to me. spoof, exercise or truth? this is cool shit though always good to read from you.

yo fuck up lil nigga b EZ

[dead man]

Relax bro

[Seymour BUTTS]

Yo dead , u walkin??

[UnbornBuddha]

"Colonic the ulcers" Sounds painful.

Anyways you use a very colorful language that gives even the most random images meaning in someway or another. You also have an interesting mesh of wording that is very unique, and probably have honed over the years. My favorite lines were the last two.
Only thing I can really add is sometimes your choice of words that you mesh together, while very unique, sometimes oppose each other, and there is inherent conflict in the line. Yet many at times they find resolution, but not always, and that leads to oppositional paradoxes that appear to have no credence to them, well at least to the naked eye. What it proposes is based of incongruity, but somehow you still manage to find, or better yet define with detailed artistry the unapparent symmetry. But sometimes it does remain a tad disproportionate, in terms of finding the right balance of the nitpicking between the ethereal and material, and all their apparitions.
Thank you.

[Paradigm]

you are the top 5 people you consider your pack
shifting endlessly as friendships collapse. pressure react
1st line is sort of profound. I really like it. 2nd everyone can relate to

Cool little piece. What I got from it is everyone is trying to find their little niche in the world and the stress a long with it you deal with. Comet coming yada yada its not the end of the world.

or maybe its 2am and im over thinking lol

rtf when you get a chance - http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=87231

[sral]

promiscuous rat
and everyone i know is on a similar track
you are the top 5 people you consider your pack
shifting endlessly as friendships collapse. pressure react
time and space and slow to motivate. dead in the water
far less than an author. known anywhere from Geoffrey to Chaucer


dopest section to me

red the rum, colonic the ulcers was nice too but that was my fav. from this piece

seemed done with the quickness

keep that pen moving!

[Zen]

you are the top 5 people you consider your pack
shifting endlessly as friendships collapse. pressure react
time and space and slow to motivate. dead in the water
far less than an author. known anywhere from Geoffrey to Chaucer
stroked the furry wall once she extended an offer
on the house. pussy purrs for both a prince and a pauper
economics and culture. red the rum, colonic the ulcers
i'll watch apocalypto as the comet approaches

These lines were excellent, blacketh.