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View Full Version : Write Night I Finals: Pohfig Vs. NYCSPITZ [POHFIG WINS]


Spoken
07-14-2013, 07:07 PM
TOPICAL KEYS TO GREATNESS

Welcome to the FINALS.

Here are the 5 topics you get to choose from..

Behemoth
Nightmare Phantom
Subsidiary Ledgers
Downward Spiral
Purpose of death...

Your choice of either topics

20 minutes to write 16 lines

G'Luck and make it dope
pohfig NYCSPITZ

NYCSPITZ
07-14-2013, 07:24 PM
Purpose of death

Some stare into the abyss, preaching that God-worship tarnishes worth
others contend that deeds lead to Earthly karmic rebirths
but existential truths aren't swayed when garnished with words
Pyramid tomb ether flow- King Tut harnessed it first
neural connection personalities burn slow and melt at your death
But to John there's one consciousness which experiences itself in the flesh
His declaration of independence reads "the vices of men"
a liquor bottle constitution, that his trusty liver rightly amends
his mind's congress sways from vicious thug to knightly in trends...
between lucid lunacy lamps and the mightiest ken.
Existential opiate trip, merge politely with zen
slowing down the dying force his lungs slightly expend
Dark angels descend and surround him, tightly in tens
until his father passes by and sees the plight of a friend
"That would have been the end, son" but John's spright in defense:
Death gods seem more exciting than the whitest events


.

Pent uP
07-14-2013, 07:27 PM
He'll....

Eat you alive while beating your child
Snarl at your dog while it pee's in the wild
Causing it to all but twitch and piss on its own leg
He could pull your strings - or pick at your omens
-Viciously show them until you faint from loss of blood
Then reawaken you and make you double-cross your love.
But he's never there - just in your head with a threaded stare
Bolting up to all your dreaded scares
When getting air as a break - he can grasp you all he wants
by making you change thoughts and flash you in a taunt
You can rub your eyes, and clean off the glasses with the fog
or tell yourself that the paranoia is from the massive stash of pot
He's more than that - a piece of you that torments back
He'll take a past incident and mold it with a forward flash.
He's the people and things you've damaged and truly attacked
He's your worst nightmare - a phantom of you in the past

Spoken
07-14-2013, 07:52 PM
NYCSPITZ this was great the rhyme scheme was on point and some nice metaphors exposed from an angle that usually is played but here was quite refreshing on the takes you had chosen. The content tho at times I felt to be a little over zealous and convey from the diction you were aiming for... But overall fucking awesome read
pohfig it has been a great deliver to read such work from you recently and this was a prime example of such ease and simplicity yet when worded precise and with a vibe and delivery very catching it just moves with one motion. Heavy meaning and such a stron message!!

Mvgt: Pohfig... Was just as a whole superb clean and crisp both did fucking awesome and I appreciate the work put in...

Thank you guys

Meth
07-14-2013, 09:18 PM
Vote pohfig

Coup
07-14-2013, 09:55 PM
v/pofig

Spoken
07-15-2013, 12:12 AM
UPPP
Rawn MacDon SiK Sharp Nine care to place votes??

Rawn M.D.
07-15-2013, 02:00 AM
nyc - pretty dope verse, some nice alliertation, kinda lost me with the whole gospel of john, not me as much as my interest, i just wasn't crazy about the content tbh, and ur word choice isn't where it typically is, prolly cuz of the key

pohfig- much cleaner verse, the start was dope, and so was the conclusion, the middle wasn't bad but did kinda dull out at a point, but it was enough to win imo

v/pohfig

next time the topic for finals shouldnt b option based imo, bc honestly i liked pohfigs topic better then nyc, and the leway given with topical choice can affect the voters preference, just something to keep in mind,

VividEnds
07-15-2013, 03:04 AM
Close battle


Wack multi topic shit

Pohfig took it for me by a decent margin

Spoken
07-15-2013, 03:57 AM
Knucklehead Meth please accomp