Writer's Critique

[StarFaggot]

This is for all writers whether it be open mic (which makes no sense cuz wheres the audio?) text battlers, topicals etc...

Give a pro and a con about the writer above you. It can be short and sweet or elaborate. This is for elevation purposes. A con could even be something like you should battle more or I think you should battle so and so..

So everyone put your egos aside and be serious for a second.

I'll go first and critique myself since no one post before me.


My pro is that I got lots of wit.

Con: Wonder what my secrets is, niggaz'll move on you
only if they know, what your weakness is I have none
Too late to grab guns I'm blastin cause I'm a cool nigga
Thought I wouldn't have that ass done? Fooled you niggaz

[SiK]

Pro: Wording is smooth

Con: concepts sometimes too simple

[veritas]

pro: not human and from the future, not a conformist to site norms
con: not human and from the future, not a conformist to site norms

[StarFaggot]

Pro: Wording is smooth

Con: concepts sometimes too simple

Pro: Nice concepts

Con: Those concepts I feel could be developed better.

and yea sometimes my concepts are a bit simple its strange bc I used to think simple was preferred here. But maybe mine are simple to the point of being predictable.

[Xnub]

Pro: Ultra slick wording, and I usually like the simplicity of ur concepts.

.... at least compared to ya breakdown when Hush beat u... You had to know calculus to get that line or some shit...

Con: sometimes ur execution seems rushed

[Atomic]

pro's. ur punches are there

con's. structure/flow isn't there. ur concepts are kind of random & need to work on ur connections

[NYCSPITZ]

pro: MAINESPITZ

con: NOTHING MY LOVE

[PancakeBrah]

NYC:

Pro: intelligence shows in your writing, nice rhymes. Weird persona.

Con: inconsistent quality, takes plays off.

[Flow]

Cake

PRO: Creative rhyme schemes, to the point of being brave, nearly always pays off and makes you a unique writer

CONS: Sometimes feels like you can go off tangent and the imagery is lost on the topic, making it difficult to keep with the context of the piece

[Split]

pancake

pro: strong unique writing style+ tone
con: too much juxtaposition lately. and kinda depressing

[dead man]

pro - unconventional rhythm and structures untainted by normative NC "writing standards". makes for unique and always interesting reads

con - does not write often, seems uninspired. that also can come through in your work.

[PancakeBrah]

Blacky-

Pros: lol. On the short list for top writer on the site. Mastered a style. Flow and schemes plus thought. Cutting insight into emotion and life. Doesn't get enough credit for innovative schemes. Complex.

Cons: comma sets for flow can get choppy to read. I know what I'm getting from most black drops, even if I'm still in awe of the quality

[Witty]

pancake -

pros: one of my personal favourites, very unique thoughts which are also very uniquely expressed. A natural and laid back writing voice. Technically sound, pretty solid all round writer.

cons: I would like to see him write stories with narrative, I think he'd be good at it. He sometimes seems to get bored halfway thru a piece. no major problems tho tbh

[Flow]

Witty

PRO: Witty is very witty
CON: Doesn't battle half as much as I would like and owes me a battle after his S&F No show ;)

[Split]

Flo Real you got skipped, i got you

pros: well, you're still finding your voice i think. if you are the catalyst for your collabs with Lars, you have very strong topic selection that I always eventually end up reading. which is rare and an underrated skill. that persistence of memory/ Dali line was very strong.

cons: could pay a lot more attention to punctuation, specifically. still not past that new writer phase of lackluster descriptive details, which is fine.. for every three drops you key, you should write one that you put a lot of time and effort into crafting... the balance between off-the-top and from the heart is pretty key to elevating

do more solo projects


Dead Man

pros: verses are a nicely balanced mix of personal insight and mass appeal, blended with multi-layered metaphors/ figurative language. lyrical shadow puppets in Aristotles cave. or Plato. one of those greek faggots. unapproachable in terms of signature style. bleeds schemes well.

cons: doesn't collab nearly enough, which always brings out the best of you and your partner's writing. see Blackpancake. sometimes your verses just come across as scatterings of Blacketh concepts and dystopian malaise

[Flow]

Split Eight - Dude to be fair, I couldn't agree more, I hit a wall two months back and been keying ever since, comments were well received.

Pro - you have some mad vocab at your disposal, and when you do post (don't see it too often) your verses are usually fire in terms of flow and keeping it all in context. The vocab def helps though, its your best ammunition IMO.

Cons - Ironically don't see enough complex concepts in your pieces, but I would need to read alot more of your stuff to stand by that comment.

[NYCSPITZ]

pancake

pro: intelligence shows in pieces, nice rhymes. weird persona...top 5 OM writer
con: doesn't drop a lot, shows signs of manic depression

What Are the Depression Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder?

The clinical depression symptoms seen with bipolar disorder include:

Decreased appetite and/or weight loss, or overeating and weight gain
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, and making decisions
Fatigue, decreased energy, being "slowed down"
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain
Persistently sad, anxious, or "empty" moods
Restlessness, irritability
Thoughts of death or suicide, suicide attempts
What Are the Signs of Mania With Bipolar Disorder?

The signs of mania with bipolar disorder include:

Disconnected and racing thoughts
Grandiose notions
Inappropriate elation
Inappropriate irritability
Inappropriate social behavior
Increased sexual desire
Increased talking speed and/or volume
Markedly increased energy
Poor judgment
Severe insomnia

[KZVR]

lmao

Flo Real

Pros: damn..

[Witty]

Ksvr

Pros: I dunno

Cons: I dunno

[Swerve]

Pro - Fox

Con - Not enough Fox.

[Witty]

Never enough fox my friend.

[StarFaggot]

Witty

Pro: I haven't seen you drop anything lately so ill say a pro is you say enough cool stuff to be relevant in the discussion forum

Con: should showcase ur talent and that foxs head to body ratio is ridiculous

[Chyeahhh!!!]

pro: witty innovative concepts

con: simplistic and repetitive structure

[StarFaggot]

This nigga!

Pro: wild unconventional style
Con: sometimes I think you write bars and die laughing but theyre not as funny to us

[veritas]

Pros: has a good character
CONS: too simple with concepts

[Fig]

Pros: good voice and personality for rapping
Cons: cadence/pronounciation especially a problem when.you try to speed it up

[veritas]

thanks bro...any advice on how to improve?

[Fig]

thanks bro...any advice on how to improve?

I'd say, memorize your lyrics. If you do this already, then try over pronouncing your lyrics for a bit until you can manage not to get tongue twisted. But seriously, memorize lyrics. It allows you to focus on how your saying, rather than what.

In terms of speeding up your flow, that takes practice my friend. Lots. Try rapping and memorizing twista, busta rhymes or tech nine verses and rapping along to those. Thats how i initially practiced anyways.

[Chyeahhh!!!]

This nigga!

Pro: wild unconventional style
Con: sometimes I think you write bars and die laughing but theyre not as funny to us

this nigga what? shit was pro's and cons and you're absolutely right! I say whatever the fluck I want and how I want to when I write and don't give a fluck what anyone says or thinks about it, been that way since forever lol

[Witty]

Ric solar flare

pros - can come up with some real funny shit, nice with the flow and cool wordplay. One of the easiest battlers to read cuz of how he writes.

cons - sometimes it seems like you just aren't trying, which can makes things a bit sloppy when usually they wouldn't be. You also don't battle enough lol