Round 1: Rawn MacDon aka Rawn M.D. vs. CymbiCort {CymbiCort wins}

[God Of War]

http://i41.tinypic.com/2m4qat2.png


The Regular Battle

Thisround is a regular battle and will start off the elements tourney



you know the rules to battling/topicals/ssnf we shouldnt have to explain them to you



lines min-10
line max-16

VERSES ARE DUE THURSDAY THE 25TH

goodluck to both participants

[Rawn M.D.]

Check 10?

[CymbiCort]

10 it is. Check Rawn MacDon

[CymbiCort]

bro ya jewfros pathetic. ya names fake as the money you make.
Only time Rawn macdon hos . when ordering chicken nuggets makin a grumpy ass face
After netcees put him in jail, To me this ugly fuck became invisible
his school of thought so flawed,he blamed the detention center,for its principles
I had a feeling this internet criminal was an attention whore
i'll fuckin make RM look real bad, without trolling a message board
Your mugshots the aftermath of poppin' 360 mg's of psuedophedrine
preach to the jury was mad wack, they even had to bring in the reverend
said fake shit to no applause. gay prick, just stop pretendin
We Haven't seen Ron pause gay statements since that candidate ran last election

[Rawn M.D.]

I want my W's on the correct account. Thank you...

I’ve heard people call u an alias, its funny the things they dream up
I can understand maskin u suck, but at least ur doing that while treating emphysema
N ur girl swallows these nuts, deep throats and fucks like a banshee
Only time shes on cym-bals is playing that instrument after me n the whole band beat
Im the one real NCG, check my canteen and commissary account
My lawyer may argue cym-antics, while I just stuck around in order to carry him out
Lets be real, u don’t have the heart or the brain to b competition
Being sym-pathetic is more than a neurological condition, considerin its how u cop ur bitches
I bet u read their biography with hopes Knuck kept me locked in jail
Because Cymbicort’s only a half-life to mine, regardless of that packet insert or clockin sales

[Split]

Cymbicort

Macdon hoes was off. School of thought was dope to me. RM was okay I suppose. Preach to the jury was gay. Ron Pause was iffy but I like the creativity behind the concept, wouldn't call it a solid connection



Rawn.

Emphysema was a decent flip. Cymbals was bad for me, just a stale attack without any substance besides the setup... Wasn't played but just wasnt good. Semantics, didnt understand.. Tbh I didn't get how it attacked your opponent. Sympathetic was name flip overkill and meh. Last line was a miss and too indirect


Yeah, I think Cymbicort took this.. A lot of gray area considering neither side had any real haymakers, but I think Cym's angles were stronger and concepts were better executed.


V/cymbicort

[namix]

CymbiCort:
bro ya jewfros pathetic. ya names fake as the money you make.
Only time Rawn macdon hos . when ordering chicken nuggets makin a grumpy ass face
-- cool enough... relevant, but since his name was the name play itself, it is kinda predictable, you know? I mean it was literally how he spelled it, maybe it just seems obvious to me but hey - still well enough executed

After netcees put him in jail, To me this ugly fuck became invisible
his school of thought so flawed,he blamed the detention center,for its principles
-- nice... relevant, while the wordplay itself isn't new, the relevance of it was smooth - and it was very well executed in the process.

I had a feeling this internet criminal was an attention whore
i'll fuckin make RM look real bad, without trolling a message board
-- cool enough... concept had potential, haven't seen that play, but I think this was the first line where your execution undermined the punch... delivered a bit more creatively, this coulda been ill -- but still solid concept.

Your mugshots the aftermath of poppin' 360 mg's of psuedophedrine
preach to the jury was mad wack, they even had to bring in the reverend
--naw.... perhaps would have been slightly more effective if it came after the jail bar, to have that conceptual tie... the setup coulda been used more effective here to keep that relevance too, but just wasn't feeling the concept on this one bro.

said fake shit to no applause. gay prick, just stop pretendin
We Haven't seen Ron pause gay statements since that candidate ran last election
--aiight.... again the potential for a strong punch here, a very cool concept that coulda been a haymaker if you used the execution you displayed in some of your other lines! leverage your setups to bring the context of this -- you could even 'conceptually tie' it to some of the personals re: his imprisonment - then bring the politics of it all into the mix, and you got the perfect stage for strong word plays. feel me?

overall: man, when you have a cool concept it seems you pay less attention to its execution. you woulda had some real strong punches if you used that same 'solid execution'/delivery WITH the freshness of your best concepts. this is sincerely a compliment, because I think with one simple writing decision (e.g. PRIORITIZING the wording of lines that have your best concepts, vs. over-focusing on the lines with weaker concepts), you could drop some real 'haymakers' in the future, that take lines from good to great / great to truly memorable. feel me bro? just tryna show you some love in the process.

good shit bro, like your potential for real - hope some of that helps.


Rawn M.D.
I want my W's on the correct account. Thank you...

I’ve heard people call u an alias, its funny the things they dream up
I can understand maskin u suck, but at least ur doing that while treating emphysema
>> aiight... one of those wordplays that would have been worded amazingly for it to really give it a chance to hit -- but it was an aiight start

N ur girl swallows these nuts, deep throats and fucks like a banshee
Only time shes on cym-bals is playing that instrument after me n the whole band beat
>> cool enough... coulda expanded on it conceptually a bit differently to really polish it, but, got a rise outta me.

Im the one real NCG, check my canteen and commissary account
My lawyer may argue cym-antics, while I just stuck around in order to carry him out
>> aiight... sounded better phonetically than 'cym balls, but really needed a better conceptual tie to semantics to make it anything more than cool nameplay hindered by a rushed execution, you feel me man?

Lets be real, u don’t have the heart or the brain to b competition
Being sym-pathetic is more than a neurological condition, considerin its how u cop ur bitches
-- aiight -- you are a victim of having what coulda been your most compelling 'sym' wordplay following 2 others man... creative words for sure.

I bet u read their biography with hopes Knuck kept me locked in jail
Because Cymbicort’s only a half-life to mine, regardless of that packet insert or clockin sales
-- ehh...

overall - I dig your overall creativity in general, thought you had some good concepts often combined with okay execution.... your sym wordplay was solid but made up 60% of your punches man . 3 name plays back-to-back-to-back was just too much for a 10 bar match - they kinda limited one-anothers impact a bit, but still individually solid in their own right


- - +- -+- -+-+- [vote] -+-+- -+- -+ - -
This is actually a pretty close match, for somewhat different reasons.

When it's close enough, I do my votes and the battlers the service of breaking it down a bit more detailed.

by breaking the bars down like this:
-
nice/lol (+1)
- cool enough (+.5)
- aiight/neutral (0)
- ehh (-.5)
- naw (-1)



% of lines average or above: 80% of both of your verses were at least 'aiight' - which definitely made this a solid enough read.

based on the cumulative points of that scoring scale, anything above 0 is 'better than average'. Rawn came out with a +.5, and Cym a +1....


Cym had one more line than Rawn in terms of being better than average... If rawn coulda repurposed even just one of those Sym wordplays, he may have edged this - but Cym came through with a bit more direct/personal punch when you had a bit too much focus on his name for a 10 line battle bro..

very close match, and good read.

vote - Cym.

[Geno]

bro ya jewfros pathetic. ya names fake as the money you make.
Only time Rawn macdon hos . when ordering chicken nuggets makin a grumpy ass face
wasnt feeling this, the whole chicken nuggets shit was lame imho
After netcees put him in jail, To me this ugly fuck became invisible
his school of thought so flawed,he blamed the detention center,for its principles
ok-ish, thought this coulda been worded a little differently for more impact, but good personal pertaining to the site
I had a feeling this internet criminal was an attention whore
i'll fuckin make RM look real bad, without trolling a message board
this was cool, one of those hits that land just enough to do a little damage but should really be surrounded by at least one haymaker that i havnt seen yet
Your mugshots the aftermath of poppin' 360 mg's of psuedophedrine
preach to the jury was mad wack, they even had to bring in the reverend
this failed for me
said fake shit to no applause. gay prick, just stop pretendin
We Haven't seen Ron pause gay statements since that candidate ran last election
ok, not terible



I’ve heard people call u an alias, its funny the things they dream up
I can understand maskin u suck, but at least ur doing that while treating emphysema
not a bad concept, wording wasnt really good though and read funny to me. but ok
N ur girl swallows these nuts, deep throats and fucks like a banshee
Only time shes on cym-bals is playing that instrument after me n the whole band beat
had a good line about to happen but i feel like you ruined the punch at the end. liked where it was going though
Im the one real NCG, check my canteen and commissary account
My lawyer may argue cym-antics, while I just stuck around in order to carry him out
another missed concept that coulda been dope if it was worded better. had a good name play going on and just dropped the ball i felt
Lets be real, u don’t have the heart or the brain to b competition
Being sym-pathetic is more than a neurological condition, considerin its how u cop ur bitches
this was cool, another name flip but i feel like it worked alot better than the other ones did as far as coming together at the end. so ok
I bet u read their biography with hopes Knuck kept me locked in jail
Because Cymbicort’s only a half-life to mine, regardless of that packet insert or clockin sales
wasnt feeling this one to much

tough to call. i honestly didnt dig either verse a whole lot.
i felt like rawn had some great ideas but just couldnt pull them off which really hurt him in this battle

cym had some of the same shit going on plus the corny mcdonalds opener just \was totally meh for me..

tough call.
i gotta go with cymbi though by a fucking very smalllll margin. this could go either way imo

v/cymbi

[TheEnd]

After netcees put him in jail, To me this ugly fuck became invisible
his school of thought so flawed,he blamed the detention center,for its principles
said fake shit to no applause. gay prick, just stop pretendin
We Haven't seen Ron pause gay statements since that candidate ran last election


vs.


Lets be real, u don’t have the heart or the brain to b competition
Being sym-pathetic is more than a neurological condition, considerin its how u cop ur bitches


both could have done better, cymbi wording was off but had some med hits, rawn a some alright concepts but couldnt word them were his punches had effect

V/cymbi edge it