Buried Kings

[Nigma]

Buried Kings
-Seeing L's

*No show from writers challenge league, the task was using C/L words. Some feed would be dope.

Crowds lay cowarding lowly in a
Cavern thats loaded, cold and captured cronies, lasting lonely
Clouds of locust crashing loudly
Cannot lie, this camp is lousy
See, the captures cast our county
Laughing loudly like a lycans lung
Cause we can't allow the cramped allowance...
On the cust of lust to covet love
The crumbs will lump, the crutch is luck
It leaves them centered in the heat we beckon like Cerberus leverage
Till their creedence lessens from cerebral hemorrhages
A scenic lesion crevice it's the least complex of lethal lessons
Wet the lips of lean contestants, lead them off the lemmings cliff
Till each their heads have Easter presents
Sending them a luscious gift
I'll bust you bitches leave you cunts equipped with Hush's lisp
And cuff you with a cup of lyrics, I can see you cats are basic
Since my cataracts are cracked and laced with Classics lasiks
Cannot tame a man as wavy as the Krakens massive lake is
When theres frantic sailors that are straying from a mast thats breaking
Trying to patch the sails but can't since lately
I can't chance the patience taken just to crack the layers
That's a statement, crazy how I lap you haters
Cause I have to cater to each fad
And play along to trap your brains and leave you with a lasting crater
Be a candid caper, live below the land my hands created
Damn I hate them, catch and cage them
Latch and stay, attack to grow, outlast them like a cancer agent
Cast away, a lord, no crown, is lowered, landin back in caves

[Certain]

There's a lot going on in this verse. Your skill is obvious from the onset, and mostly this feels like a flexing of skill. The opening paints an interesting picture, but the verse was never going to be contained to a central topic, and that was obvious from the way you built it up.

I prefered the back half of the verse, though, because the flexing was more obvious and you stepped away from the persistent use of the letters and alliteration. These lines in particular were strong:

Cause I have to cater to each fad
And play along to trap your brains and leave you with a lasting crater

Your rhyming and flow were overshadowed early on by the massive alliteration. It was tongue-tying, even as I read it in my head. But that loosened up along with everything else as you got going. Your skill as a whole was on display in an impressive verse that showcased a lot of different styles.

It may not have been a traditional verse for a topical league, but it worked nonetheless.

[Rawn M.D.]

I agree with certain

not a typical topical verse bc there is no central theme or topic, but u utilized the challenge and did so well... I enjoyed the alliteration in the first half (didn't like lasting lonely it just don't sound right) besides that tho I felt it to be done well. The latter half of the verse qas more flex geared, u can tell w the change of tense, but although not as 'artful' with devices I liked ur word choice (cerebrus leverage/cerebral hemorrhage) improved Imo. Flow was also clean throughout. So yeah good use of c, l solid flow n some pretty cool concept at points (some not so much like felt altogether out of place to me ie: hushed lisp) and lots of nice literary devices. I would say tho a theme or topical would have gave this more direction, and attention should b paid to tenses for continuity sake. Overall tho this read clean n was enjoyable.