Week 2 - Flo Real vs Adonis - FLO REAL WINS

[Mike Wrecka]

Memo week 2.
Greetings competitors, we continue on with a more conceptual challenge. I have noticed an alarming trend on this netcees.com - users calling each other fa***ts, ni***rs, his***ics and ret***s. DIVERSITY WEEK, include the group you are given in your writing. Note, it does not need to be a positive representation, or a support-type verse, just include some reference to the group you were given. Again, the group does not have to necessarily be the focus of your writing, or even be a correct/accurate representation, as a minimum you only need include a reference to the task you were given. You can write about anything you like. Find below your match-ups and specific tasks.

Specific Task- Conspiracy Theorists


Three way battle

Due date - Wednesday Midnight PST

Good Luck Flo Real Adonis Atheist

[Adonis]

What's good Kuja?
What's crickle crackin Flo?

I hope you both catch aids and are forced to no-show

May the writings gods forever be in my favor

Ext???

[Atheist]

Check ,

[Atheist]

Gonna need Ext please.

[Flow]

Me and Him don't agree mostly

Him:
You know that aids was a creation, a viral annihilation, created to kill out the blacks...
Me:
Nah fam, that's just from the African ape raping faggots enjoying takin it from the back!
Him:
Nah I'm telling you, it's just like with the epidemic of crack an heroin,
pumped on the streets to kill off the black regime that was gaining relevance..
Me:
To hell with this, next y'all tell me Roosevelt had evidence bout the japs!
An that they knew that they were planning the pearl harbour attacks...
Him:
Exact-ly they knew G, that's why they packed half of the troops out at sea..
Me:
Listen they were on a training mission... that's just a silly conspiracy.
All of these are just theory's, what about that lil thing called the facts?
What do you have to support Aids, as a weapon, created to kill off the blacks?
What have you got to support the government pushing dope, smack an crack?
What have you got to prove that Roosevelt knew a single thing about the japs?
Him:
First of all, aids wasn't born in Africa but was first found in down town Manhattan.
17 year old white boys, who played for the other side, when they be batting..
That epidemic started in 1979 while the Africans first case was late '82..
Don't need to be an academic to see the virus jumping from apes isn't true.
An Roosevelt had so many clues its hard to choose one.. so I will let you..
J.Richardson, Taranto Attack, Opana Point and the purple messages too
Me:
You Kidding? Conspiracy theorists are just elitist attempts to defy what is logic....
With some hidden secret knowledge that they keep hidden, ready to pounce from their pocket.
In reality, its a vanity trip, a grandiloquent gesture, that ends with us questioning your sanity..
Plus your reasoning isn't intelligent, takes hours and always ends with blame on hidden powers at be.
These types of stories used to be created by old crazy prophets on the street!
but since the internet now everyone of you can spout of a new retarded theory each week!!
Him:
Whatever bruva, relax.... guess it be mad to ask how you feel about the 9/11 attacks?
Me:
nah fam that's no theory.. we both know that was Bush!!

[Adonis]

1/1/1 B.C.

In the beginning there was light, alloy's and foresight.
Lush lands; vibrant greens gleaming in dark night.
A bright sun beaming through un-polluted skies.
No toxins existed that could dilute there true prize.
This small mineral created such a Jurassic misfortune.
Manufactured weather showed a species abortion.
Froze; from the land to the ocean.
And all so the Nephilim could begin the golden corrosion.
But extracting and shipping? labor un-fit for gods.
So ape gene's spliced to appease this alien job.
The brutes; a mindless workforce of drones.
Of course the Anunnaki deprived the wit of the clones.
But ignorance is bliss, and overtime Darwinian happens.
Fur recedes as knowledge increased the Nephiliam chasm.
The skulduggery passions, the whip and chain actions.
The need to rule a "lesser people" minus compassion.
But fathom; beauty is skin deep.... To put it simply,
our women were defiled ruthlessly.

It all began with the most rudiment noun.
"Slavery" hurt, but a pat on the head made the abusiveness proud.
As if dogs, we were pets. But as offspring strive for love and respect.
So as the craters were emptied and the worshiped Left.
The star children ruled as demi gods over sects.
But step-dad isn't father, so our hearts filled with regret.

Century's pass, the knowledge of parents buried by wind.
The triangled eye knows, but they don't share nor intend.
The holy grail concealed along with proof of creation.
A god died on a cross, as Nibiru watched the castration.

1/1/2022

Meet James Halton IV

A normal man, only part of the one percent.
Fed up with the Illumanati and there false pretense.
He spent the last ten years devising the scheme.
The thirteen bloodlines kept a record of all things.
Past and future, what's to come and why.
Its not as simple as grab and run, but even irony's suprised.
The spaceships approach our home, as the broadcast begins.
James explains our parents come with only good intent.
Shows the proof through the scrolls just as they land.
It's too late...

For every billion ants, there's only one raised in a farm.
So when the raid ensues, expect a fathers embrace....
With open Fire Arms.

[Certain]

Flo Real: I really enjoyed your approach, particularly in the more back-and-forth sections. There were a few stumbling blocks in the middle, when you gave each character a larger chunk of lines to convey points. It sort of stalled the concept a bit, but I think it was necessary. The flow also was a bit all over the place, an issue whenever extended dialogue is relied on. The rhymes were simple and infrequent. Still, this is a major improvement over your last verse, and I think the reason is because along with having more time, you had a clear idea with what you were doing. The ending brought a wide smile to my face, not quite laugh-out-loud funny but good nonetheless.

Adonis: This is an unusually dense (not in the insulting way) verse. There are so many different things to latch on to, but there also are so many puzzle pieces floating around the board that require deconstruction and further thought. I read your verse once last night and twice today, and I'm still not sure I've got all the pieces in the right spots. With that said, I think it's reasonable for me to say this could have been stripped down a bit. The introduction could have been pulled back in order to further the second half. Or you could have just added more to the second half. There were things that could have been omitted simply because they slowed down the story a bit, not because they were bad. I think that's where I fall on this verse: There was too much going on here, even though none of it was bad. The originality of the actual story line was great, and on the strength of that you could have easily won this battle. But the backstory, the story behind the story, took too long to develop. Random question: Did you choose the name James Halton IV as your alien/humanoid overlord for any particularly reason? I searched it on Google and came up only with a Soundclick page for a rapper named Catastrophe, which was weird unless it's your name.

Vote: Flo Real
I'm going to go ahead and take my explanation one step further than I normally do because this vote was so difficult. Generally speaking, I prefer stripped-down narratives and human stories. I read Jonathan Franzen and Jeffrey Eugenides. There's no question Adonis' verse featured more ambition, and there were sections of standout phrasing that were particularly impressive. But I think there's something to be said for a more direct approach. Flo Real had some fun with his verse and hit the topic pretty directly while throwing in the dialogue twist to avoid seeming too obvious. I don't know who will win, but I hope you get plenty of votes because this battle is so difficult and close. I think the votes almost could serve as a defining statement on what we expect from topical writing. So I really want you both to know that I stressed myself out over this vote and have no idea what anyone else will say about this battle and could easily imagine everyone else saying I'm fucking crazy and the winner was obviously Flo Real or Adonis and it wasn't even close.

[Rawn M.D.]

Flow - I enjoyed ur back and forth, i felt it could have maybe been set up a bit better and delved a bit deeper (bc there are lots of conspiracy theories) but it was non-the-less effective. Flow wise it was pretty smooth, i caught a few hiccups, but nothing major. Scheming I feel u kinda fell a bit short, u multi a few times, but dont follow thru with it. Regardless, content wise it was on point, and the conversational jargon u used fit it well. Im still trying to figure out how i feel about the end tho...like i like and dont like the fact that it didnt rhyme, bc it placed emphasis on the agreement, and it allowed for a little comedic relief, but at the same time u coulda done a one line rhyme with an internal and had that same effect. I did enjoy it though.

Adonis - You have a lot going on in your verse, and I had to read it thru a few times. Tbh i was not crazy with ur approach, it came across to scattered for me with to many gaps. I mean i like that u eluded to alot of diff conspiracy thoughts, but thats really all it was a bunch of theories thrown in with the exception of creation (including alien beings) and Illuminati (which u built the other thoughts on.) I felt that if u took more a direct approach like ur opponent did it would have been better. Also at some points I really like ur wordchoice but at some points I didn't at all (ie: abusiveness proud - that just does not sound right) Flow wise, it was pretty solid, I did find a few hiccups (like with flo) but nothing really detracted from the piece, and it was prolly a bit better then flo's tbh. Scheming i felt u did a better job then ur opponent by a fairly large margin at points though, but fell short at others. I will say this... conceptually u did have a few golden moments (ie: step-father isn't dad.) Your ending kinda tied back to the beginning and i appreciate that, but I also think you could have done that a bit better, and even delved into cyclical time opposed to linear. I just felt that there was a bit to much going on, while to much was left open at the same time.

I gotta go with flo here for a better approach and conveyance of topic.

Vote - flo real

[Nigma]

Flo, crazy storytelling bro for real. I enjoyed it because it was a believable argument and it was difficult to discern which side you were actually apart of, a question that only deepened with the way you chose to end the verse. In the beginning, the constant back and forths grew incongruent by the constant breaks of Him:/Me:. This was made bearable as soon as each character started to develop their arguments. You held a slight lead in this battle in regards to flow, felt yours read more naturally. Was really feelin the verse. Haven't read a lot from you but this one was memorable.

Adonis, loved the subject matter here. Few people take the time to learn anything about that sort of stuff but it's honestly interested. I loved your description and imagery line for line, I found it was very nicely done in the intro especially. Loved how vastly you explored the direction you chose, really covered a lot of different subject matter. I kind of wish you would have shortened the first portion and focussed more on developing the character from the near future. Felt Flo had a more natural readability but that was just comparing the two, yours didn't take away from the verse. Very solid read, like your opponents I was really digging the verse.

Prognosis: Flo takes my vote. Although I was really drawn to Adonis verse I feel he needed to do more to top excellent display of storytelling from Flo. More rounded verse overall although both had a nice spin of the topic. Was a good battle to read

+1 Flo Real