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Certain
09-17-2014, 03:19 AM
http://i.imgur.com/jwICwAn.gif


INTRODUCTION by Certain


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvhOVkH-2z4


Hi, friends. This magazine will be a bit shorter than previous ones, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. We've got several contributions from others, along with my usual bullshitting. Thanks to everyone who showed last round, as we've had a terrific tournament. Let's keep that up and continue showing and voting.



THE INTERVIEW oats, with Certain
Coats reunion? Yeah, we're talking to one of our quarterfinal losers. Deal with it.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0dWXyTa2Cw


Hello, oats. Welcome to the magazine interview circle. Let's start out with an easy one: How are you today?

I'm doing well, thanks. It's my day off, I'm making curry, sipping on some Indonesian coffee. Can't complain!


OK, that's great. But enough bullshit. Do you think you deserved to beat Soulstice last round?

No. Soulstice wrote a dope verse, and I wrote a verse that was perhaps too subtle and internally meaningful/externally unaccessible to be successful with voters. I'm happy with the verse I wrote though, it was a necessary catharsis for me given where I'm at right now. But Soulstice deserved the W, one of the top 2 verses of the round easily.


Now that your pick to win it all (yourself) is out, who comes out of this short-verse topical tournament victorious?

It's down to a foursome. Coincidentally, I've had a foursome before, though I've never had a threesome. Well, I guess it was more of a double twosome - my buddy tried to switch bitches with me but my chick was significantly more attractive and I'd been trying to hit it for a while, so I declined, opting instead to hold his hand while we both banged out. True story. But Soulstice has been the top performer of the tournament and arguably has had the hardest road to the semis, so he's gotta be the favorite at this point. Eng has all the tools to beat Soulstice, though, so it's a tossup. Yoda has underperformed in my opinion, but even at 2/3 speed he's better than almost everyone else. Kannon is the dark horse here, but he's been surprisingly dope, and it's not absurd to think that he can pull the upset. It's a really intriguing final 4, to say the least.


Why is everyone so surprised about kannon? I thought most of you posted at Project RHYME for a bit.

I did, but I don't recall him participating in RHYME while I did. I could be wrong, though. That was also when I was first introduced to Sacrifice, 3PA, Pent and Vulgar as well, so if he was there he may have been overshadowed, inasmuch as who left a more lasting impression. Prior to this tournament, I only knew him as NC's unheralded MVP posting new music in the discussion lol. But he's dope, no question.


Who else has impressed you in this tournament that you didn't expect it from?

No one else really comes to mind as sharply as Kannon. Jilti had the impressive upset in round one, and Diode had an underrated verse against me. Trap did better than expected as well. Really, I've been more impressed with this tournament as a whole. The line limit has mitigated no-shows a good bit I think, and also forced everyone's style into a pressure cooker. The result has been several really dope rounds, the last one being the best so far but this round looks like it could very well surpass it. I hope this style of tournament sticks around, it's been a lot of fun.


I've enjoyed it, and I'd like to participate in the next one (presumably after Season 4 of the Art of Writing League). What I see is a more focused effort on coming up with an approach to the topic, then writing the hell out of that approach and not getting caught up in anything else. You don't have time to think about anything other than the angle you've landed on, so the writing level is dramatically higher. What's made this interesting to you?

I agree with that analysis; the approach is the single most important aspect of this format. Two words keep popping up: "execute" and "ambition." Many people have bitten off more than they can chew in the space of 10 lines, and as a result don't execute it well enough. In 40+ lines, you not only have space to develop ideas more, but it's a little more forgivable if you don't follow-through as well, so long as the actual writing is good. With 10 lines, you don't have that luxury. At the same time, Eng has exemplified the strategy of just completely outwriting your opponent. Granted, he does so with good approaches as well, but he's a problem in this format because his writing is so overwhelming. It's hard to have such a high caliber of writing (both rhymes and diction) for an entire verse, but in 10-12 lines, it's possible to have an entire verse be one long quotable. It's a really cool dynamic.


So here's a quandary: How would zygote do? His style is so unique but also so flexible. I ranked him as the No. 1 topical battler on this site, yet I'm not sure he translates well to this tournament at all. Lars is sort of the same in that way.

That's a good question. Zygote is unparalleled at writing allegorical verses, which I can't see working in 10 lines. Intuitively, my feeling is that he wouldn't do well in this type of format, but he is as flexible and creative as they come, so I wouldn't be surprised to see him kill it either. Lars I think would be a good fit for this, though. He has that straightforward, rhyme-laden style that is easily digestible for pretty much everyone. I think condensing his work could prove beneficial for him, if anything, since so many of us have been getting lost in our own ideas that we don't have enough space to deliver on. Both would obviously be welcome participants.


Lately people are talking a bit about battling's falloff vs. topical battling's rise. For me, the answer is simple: Battling is formulaic, whereas the best topical writers intentionally break their own formulas all the time. But you were a well-traveled battler in a past life, so what do you think?

That's a big part of it - how else can you clown on someone that hasn't already been done? Part of why I stopped battling was because the novelty wore off. But there's more to it than that, I think. It's a combination of none of the old-guard being willing to pass the torch, either through lack of participation or crying/campaigning their way to the W, and none of the newjacks being capable/willing to take up the mantle. Back in the day, dudes like Muzzle were able to rise to the rank of moderately wack. Now he's forever mired in completely wack, because no one is really battling anymore, and most battlers are far too cynical to participate, and when they do they lose their shit if they lose. Battling CAN be as creative as topicals, or at the very least more creative than it is now. Maybe if people started shifting towards the KOTD/spoken style of battling it would be a step in the right direction. I hope it continues going, though. If not, come try your hand at MAN POEMS LULZ OMG.


Point-blank, should the Tag Team Tournament championship match be Coats vs. Alpha Omega?

No, because we already destroyed them. The only matchup worth reading is COATS vs. COATS in an alternate universe where I am a butter-voiced grammar nazi and you are a neurotic free spirit living in the orient. Winner gets Babycakes.


I think it's clear. So do they have normal toothpaste in Korea?

I haven't brushed my teeth since the summer of '97, but the answer is no. They grind various leaves between their molars until it is a fine paste and proceed to baby-bird it each other. It's a beautiful sight.


Don't get cheeky with me. Anything you want to add?

Nope. Best of luck to the remaining competitors, eat your daily dose of kimchi, and find ways to reduce your consumption, everyone! Thanks for taking the time.



Quarterfinals Rewind
BATTLE REVIEWS by Certain
I ranked them all, as always. But it's never been more difficult than with these Weezer-themed quarterfinals.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okthJIVbi6g


1. Soulstice beats oats 6-2. | Only in Dreams
The genius approach tends to win. Soulstice was clever, crisp, affecting and meaningful with his verse about electrosex. oats was perhaps a bit too vague in his metaphor about love, the sun, the moon and a boat.
Its Sara-Beta, the serenading mecha-lady. Programmed fetishes and quirks
come from tessellating metadata. I was replicating her
Before her drift to tragedy - My last kiss with heaven's maiden
Was under power lines screaming towards distant galaxies
we were immortal for a night, our youth the air of our dreams
as petals pooled in the moonlight of the plumeria tree
we dared to believe in the star-crossed passion that we discovered -
for love and dreams only exist because we need each other


2. Eŋg beats El Pancake 6-(-3). | Why Bother?
Though El Pancake didn't like his verse, I did. He wrote about a musician afflicted by ennui and other emotional crap. It started a bit slow but picked up and ended well. But Eŋg wrote a powerful verse about ennui and other emotional crap from his own perspective. It was the battle I expected, but Eŋg's personal appeal and lyrical dexterity won out.
Glories of yester-yore are ineffective gauze - hesitant lips caressed a
desolate jaw (it was never much more) - a present exists: at best the
rest is thought. Schematic, presuming you can plan, mentally,
a pattern’s renewing as ancestor’s hand gestures span centuries
Painting the keys. The 'Hello Kitty' ironic emblazement
as a stroke against the hedonistic. Punk rock, her sonic displacement;
playing sharp keys in the place of harmonic arrangements,
re-arranging the monotone sonnets she played with.


3. Darth Yoda beats Split 4-2. | Photograph
This battle took a few reads for everyone, which likely is why the voting was so poor on it. But Split had a nice change-of-pace verse that showed his more lyrical style while focusing on nostalgia. Then Darth Yoda distilled the very meaning of photography with even better rhymes and took the votes to move on.
memories worth a thousand words, printed in negative light
daydreaming extended exposure. with perspective on bright
monocle & hour-glass. one minute to shoot; rifle frames the soldier
digitized optical mass. where eyes glued became the beholder
I cancel my evenings to manage my demons,
and plan to confide in the handful I don't. Beauty and cameras can lie.
regress into the cure of a cancer I breath from. I could sample my throat,
bleed, and ramble for evenings, with every gram that I smoke,


4. kannon beats trap 7-(-6). | The Good Life
Well, trap went the gimmick route and ended up the only shutout victim of the round. He took the topic and told a story about himself and a girl with plentiful references to G.O.O.D. Music songs and albums. kannon, meanwhile, relayed the grappling battle with addiction that plagues so many in pursuit of the good life. He told his story crisply and emotionally, then revealed it was true.
Syringe to plasma, the disaster rode the tracks in his arm
An "unpredictable relapse," You were the blackest of swans
They found his body collapsed in the back of an Acura; gone
Fetal, or fatal position... Grasping at straws when I answered the call
but girl, my name is my name - thought we were finding forever
the green light to heaven flickered, the fear of god was my endeavor
used to love u, day n nite, but time passed through this cruel summer
now i'm a legend, doing it big to a T, a common consequence to plunder



TOP FIVE VERSES by Eŋg, oats and Certain
Eŋg handled the verse breakdowns, while oats and I just provided lists.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxuipSmYoF8


Eŋg's picks


1. oats
a beautiful conceit somewhat underappreciated as the obvious interpretation was more readily grasped. even in that vein: it felt like a poetic drift into the realm of reveries with a smooth cadence and pithy writing. i thought your work this week was resonant.

2. Soulstice
sci-fi sexcapades mingled with an industrial elegance; giving birth to a truly bizarre verse. it made no mechanic missteps and even managed to capture, or conjure, the ambivalence of a lament with elements of black humour. a great showing (but we're still waiting for the ***tus).

3. Darth Yoda
a challenging read which boasted some outstanding turns of phrase buried beneath obscura (lol) while it slept on a thick bed of assonance. consonance, too, as a certain serpent noted. there were some stellar ideas sliding between the sheets of rhetoric. a pleasure to read.

4. El Pancake
slightly out of left-field with his construction, but not his approach? there were vivid, melodious portrayals of a causal relationship teetering between music and life, with unequivocal gems in this pensive piece - note in the meager/ghost in the ether was brilliant. i thought soma was a Huxlian reference.

5. Split and kannon
i thought each verse was very good for very different reasons, and it speaks on each author: kannon has a very candid and direct approach to his verses, relying on his pool of personal experience to fuel him - always solid. split's a young drunkard who probably spent too much time playing nintendo to forge meaningful connections during adolescence, but the trade-off is a wonderful imagination that sometimes seeps through in rhyme. i enjoyed both quite a bit.


oats' picks

1. Soulstice

2. Eŋg

3. El Pancake

4. kannon

5. Split


Certain's picks

1. Darth Yoda

2. Soulstice

3. Eŋg

4. oats

5. kannon



Semifinals Preview
WRITER BREAKDOWN/
LISTEN UP by Certain


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PREDICTIONS by Certain
BIG FUCKA BABY was unavailable, so I'm giving you something in the brief on these two battles with topics that I made up.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IJCFc_qkHw


5. kannon vs. 2. Darth Yoda | The Drum Beats
I wanted to give kannon a topic that worked for his more hip-hop focus. I wanted to give Darth Yoda that worked for his more emotional and driven writing style. I liked this because I think it can bring out the best in both. Darth Yoda's best is the best that anyone has, but kannon probably has been more dominant and approachable in this tournament. If Darth Yoda waits until deadline to write again, he won't win. I'm banking on him not doing that. Prediction: Darth Yoda 52-48.


5. Eŋg vs. 6. Soulstice | The Edge of Nowhere
There's no battle that shows what this tournament has been about through three rounds more than this. Soulstice has been our best competitor and, in my opinion, becomes the favorite entering the semifinals. But Eŋg is not going down easily because he can outwrite just about anyone, so precise and refined. Will he fully dive into this topic? It's a bit of a lead into a story, but I think it also works with Eŋg's social observation skills. Soulstice wins this because he gets 14 lines. Prediction: Soulstice 53-47.



BRACKETOLOGY by Adonis, Certain, El Pancake and oats
We'll be keeping track of these opening picks throughout the tournament with a leaderboard. The scoring will be unweighted by seeding, but with escalating points by round. Blue underlines mean the person is getting credit for the reserve's success, as it didn't seem fair to not allow for reserves to count.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9mFZq-JMfs


1. El Pancake, 26 points

He's the last with his championship pick still alive. And he's on top of the leaderboard right now. So things are looking good even after his own (predicted) loss.

http://i.imgur.com/LqeSwJr.gif


2. Certain, 24 points

Well, Eŋg is his big hope to win, but he also needs kannon to win in order to pass El Pancake.

http://i.imgur.com/AueK4Y3.gif


T-3. Adonis, 23 points

His only hope now to win it all is kannon winning and Eŋg losing. But hey, at least he has hope.

http://i.imgur.com/TJQdGFr.gif


T-3. oats, 23 points

From first to (tied for) worst, oats gambled on himself and lost. He now has no hope of a finish better than tied for third.

http://i.imgur.com/vqEzgx7.gif



CONCLUSION by Certain


This tournament has been a big success thus far. Let's keep that going. Thanks.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9Mse62NFl4

oats
09-17-2014, 07:38 AM
dope. I regret nothing about my bracket

veritas
09-17-2014, 02:55 PM
big baby has a big ass dick

Certain
09-17-2014, 03:01 PM
El Pancake, oats and Adonis, if you still care about your brackets:

- Darth Yoda beating kannon would give El Pancake the pool win.
- kannon vs. Soulstice means Adonis wins the pool.
- kannon vs. Eŋg means I win the pool.

oats is eliminated.

big baby
09-17-2014, 04:40 PM
big baby has a big ass dick

:))) i knew u CUM around