PDA

View Full Version : Week 3 - Certain Serpent v Mike Wrecka - MW WINS


Mike Wrecka
08-05-2013, 11:14 AM
Challenge League contest page

Submissions are due WEDNESDAY at 23:59 Pacific Daylight/Standard Time.
Extensions are due THURSDAY at 23:59 Pacific Daylight/Standard Time.
You must vote on at least 3 other battles, for every absent vote, you will be deducted one vote next week.

Voting ends Sunday at 11:59 Pacific Daylight/Standard Time.
If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.

WEEKLY MEMO : Greetings competitors, we move to the most open-ended challenge of the league. HYPOTHETICAL COLLABORATION WEEK, each contest will be provided with 1 hyperlink to an open mic page. You are required to write in response to your hyperlink. As compensation for the nature of the topics (and the cries of “the voters didn’t understand it!”) you have the option to include a concise explanation along with your submission this week. Find below your match-ups and specific tasks.



http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=7707


Good luck Certain Serpent

Certain
08-06-2013, 03:19 AM
My topic is a Canadian talking shit about about popping clips,
when he'd be better off stepping soft, skating with a hockey stick.
It's obvious this imposter is no novice in
the form of ominous homicidal postulates.
Yet all it brings is moderate accomplishment in praise from peers
who haven't even slain a deer much less sprayed any AK's in here.
This isn't a phase, it's clear the game we play is based in fear.
Rap's backbone is a crack stone, but its face is the casing's steel.

The boom bap of the bass never upstaged the snare's weight.
But that doom clap of the stray-bullet gunplay couldn't tear fate.
Pursue rap with a straight face, and find dumb taste you can caretake.
This new crap they create ends up bumped out into airspace.

And who is the victim? The usual prison of youth in the system.
We're abusing the visions of 2Pac and Cube, bruising their image.
These crude indecisions lead us to fusing a spirit
of toothless offenses, not putting in context the fuel for their lyrics.
Step through all the pyrrhics. We've created a brutal appearance,
such that "Slim Thug" creates tunes for the children.
It's a brutal religion, but we're immune to its hatred and anger.
Engaged in the graceless disaster of rape jokes, we emaciate laughter.
Facing hereafter, we'll either straighten our act or
continue on clapping the nines and betraying our bastards.

Then again, let's play it all backwards and take in the facts first:
When we're spraying our gats and raping those fat whores,
we're faking. We're actors playing as rappers on an Internet site.
And if anyone doesn't vote for me, I'm ending their life.

Mike Wrecka
08-08-2013, 05:52 PM
TOPIC : Mickey Deez Nuts by Copycat

Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order please?


ya ok

ill take a number eight, filled with sodium benzoate,
the artificial additives added in just make me salivate,
I want super sized servings of ammonium aspartate,
as I try all the sides of triglycerides that my body can tolerate,
and its only a dollar? great!, preservatives preserve my passion,
so im gonna keep eating value fries until my chairs collapsin,
give me altered potatoes from pesticide filled soil,
then deep fry it in partially hydrogenated soy bean oil ,
and let me get a number six, that pic is eye candy for my optics,
my love of byproducts is an instant synopsis,
if all this food is filled with is chemicals and poison,
then that's exactly the deliciousness that ill be enjoyin,
yes! this is what it feels like to really be alive,
biting into a big mac with extra calcium peroxide,

would you like a drink with that?

ofcourse

give me the cup with a swimming pools appearance,
and fill it up with ice and high fructose corn syrup,
oh and cant forget the kids, I see you have a real deal,
a toy with a processed burger packaged as a happy meal,
what a steal, wait im feelin kinda drowsy on top of hungry,
see let me get a large coffee harvested from a third world country,

does that complete your order


yes I believe that does it, how much am I in debt,
to use my body as a test tube chemistry set
don't worry I do this every single day,
and the FDA tells me that everything is gonna be ok

Pinot Grij
08-08-2013, 06:29 PM
Wow... its good to read a battle that's pure entertainment.. both dudes brought high-impact shit and went in two totally different directions. Dope dope dope.

Certain Serpent... dope approach.. basically debunking a bravado verse and exposing it for the hypocrisy of talking violence on the internet... its almost a battle verse intent on shaming.

And who is the victim? The usual prison of youth in the system.
We're abusing the visions of 2Pac and Cube, bruising their image.
These crude indecisions lead us to fusing a spirit
of toothless offenses, not putting in context the fuel for their lyrics.
Step through all the pyrrhics. We've created a brutal appearance,
such that "Slim Thug" creates tunes for the children.
It's a brutal religion, but we're immune to its hatred and anger.
Engaged in the graceless disaster of rape jokes, we emaciate laughter.
That whole section was fire... really hit on the multis to drive the point home. I've seen this theme taken before, but it was still enjoyable and fun to read.

Mike Wrecka... I like how you tackled an aspect of the verse rather than jumping on it whole hog... gave you the opportunity to flesh something else out completely. Very compelling job, I must say. I totally reacted to this verse and its not something I've seen done well before. The ability to include relevant processed ingredients, rhyme them into your scheme and critique the fast food industry... I don't know, everything was at play in this verse, working well to great effect.

I really enjoyed both verses... I've gotta bring this down to a matter of personal interest, as much as I hate to base a vote on that. Because I'm currently reading a book on the ills of the processed food industry (Salt, Sugar Fat... go read it)... I have to say that Mike Wrecka's verse resonated with me a lot more. He really hit on all the actual points that make fast food so dangerous - awful ingredients in the name of convenience, the purposeful use of addictive sugars and manufactured sweeteners... and the kicker:

yes I believe that does it, how much am I in debt,
to use my body as a test tube chemistry set
don't worry I do this every single day,
and the FDA tells me that everything is gonna be ok
Over.

Gotta go with Mike Wrecka on this one. Really really nice stuff man.

Sorry Serp... really nice shit from both you guys. Thanks for the read.

Brian Bryan
08-09-2013, 05:58 AM
I actually LOL'd at the end of Serpent's verse, humourous way to take the topic and turn it on it's head, thought some of the scheming was dope mechanics wise but at times it seemed convuluted to me, which wasn't a major thing, but enough to be noticeable. Lines like this were bananas though:

It's obvious this imposter is no novice in
the form of ominous homicidal postulates.

Just rolling off the tongue effortlessly, flow was slick right through, and everyone enjoys a good Canadian insult. :)


Mike Wrecka again here surprised me, I knew he was capable of big things, but he even outshone his verse from last week about the Khazaar's. His take on the topic this week is what was refreshing, thought the piece was riddled with little gems like this one:

I want super sized servings of ammonium aspartate,
as I try all the sides of triglycerides that my body can tolerate,
and its only a dollar? great!,

that made me laugh. really enjoyable verses from both camps, shame there has to be a loser in battles like this when both brought it, but going with purely who's I found more enjoyabble and without getting into who was technically the better of the two etc and geeking out - I'm edging this to Mike Wrecka, Serp was ill though, love his style, hit me up for a collabo or whaetever duke!

patrown
08-09-2013, 08:11 PM
/v certain serpent- some very proper assonance really gave him the edge, and the last line killed it. liked the sound of these bars in particular

And who is the victim? The usual prison of youth in the system.
We're abusing the visions of 2Pac and Cube, bruising their image.

you pretty much slaughtered it. i can't criticize this at all. very well spoken. nice drop.

mike wrecka- word choices were excellent. made some valid points and came through with an original take on the topic. nicely done. i had a slight problem with hungry/country.. if top of/third world matched up a little better it would'nt have bothered me. your point is definitely valid, but in my opinion it's up to the consumer to decide what they want to do with their body so the responsibility inevitably falls on them. but the piece is definitely informative and i bet you could have this included in some kind of regular health publication if you were to send it in to one.

Nigma
08-09-2013, 09:17 PM
Certain, not a bad take on the topic and you had a consistent flow to the verse throughout. You're firm grasp of assonance was complimented nicely with some scattered consonance/alliteration which is more garnish to the flow. Critique I had, look for some more unique rhyme schemes, maybe more unique wording in general. You through in 'postulates' which was an awesome word choice and fit with the multi. Unique wording catalyse unique rhyme schemes so trying to improve on the average level of language you are using is a good way to stay unique.


Mike, you went content over flow in this one but not in an awful way. Seemed to me like you did a lot of research and had a bunch of material picked out that you wanted to write about and kinda threw it all together, but the outcome really worked for me. Although I feel it the verse could have used several layers of polishing, the read really engaged me and I enjoyed the read.

Prognosis: Read through one verse without really gettin bored, and the other verse I was lookin forward to readin line after line. Contrary to my usual voting preferences, Certain had a well put together verse with a higher level of mechanics but I didn't give him my vote on this day. Mike, was interested in your content here, liked the verse, gold star.

+1 Mike Wrecka

Flow
08-10-2013, 09:41 AM
This was so difficult.... I've spent ages trying to decide but both brought so much to the table and is by far the best read this round.

Without jumping into it (to be honest i didn't dislike anything both were poliands drops and both matched each other in all sections) I'll just go with who I felt edged it in my opinion just on my enjoyment of style....

Vote - certain

Certain
08-10-2013, 03:39 PM
That was a strong verse, Mike Wrecka. You lead 3-2. Here are my three votes:

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=9686
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=9690
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=9685

Inno
08-10-2013, 07:00 PM
CS

loved syour shit...I mena the rhyming is dam near impeccable and the flow just seemed to be smooth through out the entire piece..i thought your angle on the piece was interesting..thought it would of developed more as far as the stories progession. felt like you had a lot of technical savvy throguht this piece and it certainly carried your verse to the end...

Mike

I gotta say that the angle you approached this was outstanding..first of technically this shit was solid up to par with your opponent. great scheme great flow and progression. at this point for me this is a tie match..both showed great ability and strength through out the verse...mike, I like your stlye, you havea very smooth old school type of feel to your writing that I enjoy...good shit.


overall..

pretty equal to me...the decision I made came down to the story...honestly certain had a dope verse..dope...but it didn't have depth to the point where as I was typing the vote I could remember it instantly...where as mike had the technical side to it..he also managed to write about a subject that was thought provoking....made me think..and intern made me appreciate the writing more...awesome battle fellas.

MW

Red glare
08-10-2013, 11:11 PM
certain serpent.

second stanza was the highlight. i liked that air space line - sent me drifting.

mike wrecka.

dope concept. dope execution. dopest I've seen you come. very original. very entertaining. very real.

props.

vote goes to Mike

Objective
08-11-2013, 12:36 PM
Certain Serpent: This was supposed to be a collabo, no? That's the only thing I question to be honest. It seems to me you kinda went against Pat's verse and talked against the canadian or something, you know? Don't think you would have done that in a regular collabo, but whatevs, it wasn't completely off-topic and you kept it going. Definitely enjoyed the verse as a whole, thought this was dope and could also serve as a stand alone piece in your collection of writtens. I enjoyed the rhymescheme you went with and felt it was feeding off the same scheme to the piece you was given which is a huge plus, give an edge to the collabo-feel. Overall a decent verse with a couple questionable things in terms of the ''task'', but nothing that hurt you badly as you did well in other aspects of your verse. Keep it up.

Mike Wrecka: Didn't really see the ''hypothetical collabo'' here other than you using Pat's topic to start writing your own shit with. There's some connections that can be made, but nothing outstanding. That being said it puts you and Serpent equal as far as the topic goes imho. The content however was dope and I truly enjoyed how you went along with your verse all the way to the end. The flow was on par and the scheme was dope, also here I feel it's even between you and Serpent. I also enjoyed the pace and progression of your verse throughout.

Vote: I thought this was awefully close and I enjoyed reading both of these writers verses alltho' I had slight problems to fully connect them with the task at hand. Either way, both had funny elements in each of their verses and it flowed and read well. After reading both of the verses again I feel like I got to give my vote based on the content, creativity and the piece as a whole. I felt MW slightly edged it in terms of creativity and execution as I've seen variations of the topics Serpent touched before. Overall it was a pretty dope entertaining battle and kudos to both writers.

To clarify; MVGT MW

Certain
08-11-2013, 01:20 PM
I say this because it applies to criticism of both our verses: "You are required to write in response to your hyperlink."

Adonis
08-11-2013, 01:57 PM
Very enjoyable battle boys and boys. Both verses conceptually were extremely dope, both had equally strong flow and each had content to simmer and only get better in time. I honestly feel you both should win, I've only read a few verses this week cuz I been busy but these were the best of what I've read by far including my weak drop. I like Serpents direction, very thought provoking but for what it was, it left me wanting more. I think adding another stanza or two even with more thoughts on the state of our art would have been dope. There are plenty more bars to be writen about this. One thing I will say, is although the lines were original to me, the concept was not. also loved the humorous ending. Mike on the other hand came original all the way through. Come to think of it Mike this is one of my top 2 favorite verses from you. Flow wise and content wise this shit was butter.

v/Mike

Very close, two extremely well written verses. In the end, Mike's was too original for me not to give it to him. Don't kill me CS haha