Gamble vs. Animosi T - {Gamble wins}

[Meth]

NEWBIE 2013
ROUND 1

No swaying, biting, feeding, recycling

Line Limits

-10 Minimum
-14 Maximum

First person to drop can edit only until the 2nd person drops.

2nd person can edit only until the first vote is submitted

DUE: Saturday, 11:59 PM Pacific Standard Time

Extensions are available at request until Sunday 11:59 PM Pacific Standard Time, exactly 24 hours later.

Good Luck

Gamble Animosi T

[Animosi T]

Check, 10?

[Sho Money EMG]

Check sounds good

[Animosi T]

Dropping late tonight.

[Sho Money EMG]

Sent 10 to meth

[Animosi T]

Shotgun Dinero aka Gamble


I throw shit at ya so quick, ya aint gonna see a catch like getting’ free shit!
pull S.D's card so hard he won’t remember me like removing a phone memory chip!

Ya a scrub, so if this Chess imma King, and this faggot Pawn’s soft
So watch as I cut ‘shotgun in half’ like im fuckin’ sawn off!

Ya know can’t see me since I’m out of ya sight like a star all day
Ya tryin to land shots, but a Shotgun can’t hit a target that’s far away

I leave no Dinero Left, like a bill from the hospital after getting’ ya skull broken, might
So, When I start pressin, ya fold quick so Dinero givin’ up like Poker Night!

Win? Creating an alias n’ voting for himself is the only way this Fake’ll grab it!
This dudes weak, I’m through with Gamble-quick like breaking a habit!


Personal:
He voted for himself, ask Allen Knight.

[Sho Money EMG]

I sent it to Meth but ill just post it...

Check it...

Ever since NC has been restored i been thinking, aint it a fact?...
That this guy was history w/ what Lama deleted - even God couldn't save u from that...
In fact, just look... U could tell hes the type to go taddle....
Shit, it dont take much to see Ani lies in his raps - just read what he writes in a battle...
You could act wreckless all you want, but it wont stop the cancer from coming...
You could see from his handle on things he's no A.I, so i tell em like... An, sir... violence is NOT the answer you wantin'...
For your death you'll pay a large price, so they'll be a major cost involved...
Must not have your eye on the prize.. cuz we wont have to play golf to see - T off the ball...
I serve this bitch before I deliver the rest - this pest like home fries...
He's just an actor tryna rap - and one punch'll have Mos Def, from both sides...

[Animosi T]

@Meth (http://netcees.co/member.php?u=585) open for votes Allen Knight

[Decibel]

I throw shit at ya so quick, ya aint gonna see a catch like getting’ free shit!
pull S.D's card so hard he won’t remember me like removing a phone memory chip!
I liked the final punch but the setup was meh
Ya a scrub, so if this Chess imma King, and this faggot Pawn’s soft
So watch as I cut ‘shotgun in half’ like im fuckin’ sawn off!
Chess lines played all around. punch Im not really feeling
Ya know can’t see me since I’m out of ya sight like a star all day
Ya tryin to land shots, but a Shotgun can’t hit a target that’s far away
The wording here is ChOpPy. setup relates to punch and it was an okay jab at best
I leave no Dinero Left, like a bill from the hospital after getting’ ya skull broken, might
So, When I start pressin, ya fold quick so Dinero givin’ up like Poker Night!
using Dinero twice seems off to me. Good NP, and decent punch
Win? Creating an alias n’ voting for himself is the only way this Fake’ll grab it!
This dudes weak, I’m through with Gamble-quick like breaking a habit!
The whole Alias/voting for himself is over-done. Final punch was decent



Overall, your setups seem really filler or not related to the punch at all. Your wording was off in some parts (espicially that shotgun to far away) throughout verse. Your concepts are direct and used to the point where they will become played quickly. Personals are non-existant here it seems. Decent flow other than choppy wording. A pretty decent sub-par verse here



Ever since NC has been restored i been thinking, aint it a fact?...
That this guy was history w/ what Lama deleted - even God couldn't save u from that...
Good setup to a humorous impact.
In fact, just look... U could tell hes the type to go taddle....
Shit, it dont take much to see Ani lies in his raps - just read what he writes in a battle...
Setup was meh.. took a second for the WP.. it was alright for a punch
You could act wreckless all you want, but it wont stop the cancer from coming...
You could see from his handle on things he's no A.I, so i tell em like... An, sir... violence is NOT the answer you wantin'...
Not really feeling this to be honest
For your death you'll pay a large price, so they'll be a major cost involved...
Must not have your eye on the prize.. cuz we wont have to play golf to see - T off the ball...
Seen the whole Golf/T or T-Shirt coming out. Decent bar here..
I serve this bitch before I deliver the rest - this pest like home fries...
He's just an actor tryna rap - and one punch'll have Mos Def, from both sides...
Decent closer



You had a pretty decent verse here. Your concepts were more direct, complex, and creative than Animo's. The only miss was the 3rd bar from you where the others were fairly decent. Your wording was a little better than Animo's in my opinion, and you had a little funny opener to catch readers eye. You may need to work on flow as it was stretched some areas and stay away from the random misses.



Vote: Shogun

[just rap]

vShogun

Wasn't feeling the first verse, second verse had a decent bar @ the end. Cool shit.

[Flow]

Abu had his concepts and had he worded half em to deliver it would have been tight. That middle bar something bout shotgun an range would of been dhope had the set up been ether. That star shit whack you should have gone down the route of clearly stating in terms of skill your too far away can't catch you can't see you etc. That star shit was corny.

Gamble wasn't much better bit had some light hits an legit attempts throughout

Vote Gamble

[Sharp]

I throw shit at ya so quick, ya aint gonna see a catch like getting’ free shit!
pull S.D's card so hard he won’t remember me like removing a phone memory chip!
that setup was mad awkward. SD card was a good idea but it wasn't really turned into the banger it had the potential for
Ya a scrub, so if this Chess imma King, and this faggot Pawn’s soft
So watch as I cut ‘shotgun in half’ like im fuckin’ sawn off!
his name is shogun dinero. shogun. you flipped a completely different name
Ya know can’t see me since I’m out of ya sight like a star all day
Ya tryin to land shots, but a Shotgun can’t hit a target that’s far away
again, shogun
I leave no Dinero Left, like a bill from the hospital after getting’ ya skull broken, might
So, When I start pressin, ya fold quick so Dinero givin’ up like Poker Night!
reaaaaally awkard setup. and that punchline coulda been pretty cool but ended up again pretty awkward due to bad excecution
Win? Creating an alias n’ voting for himself is the only way this Fake’ll grab it!
This dudes weak, I’m through with Gamble-quick like breaking a habit!
the concept was okay but basic, passable for a newb tourney but the way it was done was bad

some general stuff:
i know you go for double-punch, but you dont really have a good punchline in any setup. like that thing about him voting for himself. it happened, sure, and its a workable concept but you just kind of reminded us it happened. didnt really do anything good with it. and for real, get the other guy's name right for a battle. those shotgun bars were big misses that couldve been avoided easily.


Ever since NC has been restored i been thinking, aint it a fact?...
That this guy was history w/ what Lama deleted - even God couldn't save u from that...
kinda scattered/not too direct
In fact, just look... U could tell hes the type to go taddle....
Shit, it dont take much to see Ani lies in his raps - just read what he writes in a battle...
alright attempt
You could act wreckless all you want, but it wont stop the cancer from coming...
You could see from his handle on things he's no A.I, so i tell em like... An, sir... violence is NOT the answer you wantin'...
waaaaay too stretched
For your death you'll pay a large price, so they'll be a major cost involved...
Must not have your eye on the prize.. cuz we wont have to play golf to see - T off the ball...
kind of worked but the flip didnt really work both ways.
I serve this bitch before I deliver the rest - this pest like home fries...
He's just an actor tryna rap - and one punch'll have Mos Def, from both sides...
i dont know why i see so many of this concept, but i do


except for that answer line it all read kind of smoothly, but it really wasnt too direct. wording hurt you a good deal

these kinda battles are always hard to judge... i had ani with two decent attempts in SD card and poker night and gamble's was ani lies... gamble probably did his the best but the flip was a pretty basic and not too effective. close, but i edge it to animoisty for more/better attempts

v/animosity

[SiK]

3-1 Gamble couple more?