boooooooooom

[Vulgar]

W

[Split]

The first scheme in your second verse is literally perfect. Almost reminiscent of Garfield by Hail Mary Mallon. Like the use of "proles file down iron shafts" a lot.

Hamas cops tailgate your trailblazer with spell waivers

I have found a minimum of three ways to interpret that sentence, *within* the context of the verse even, and have it mean something and make sense.

"All the want to do in Quebec" was an uncharacteristically weak transition, for me.


Adam's apple line was bittersweet, walnuts on an open fire style (I'm greedy for holiday spirits) (what is that celebrating anyways?????? Christianity isn't pagan LOL)

Everything after that washed over me, but it was pleasant and rich and fun fact: I have never had gumbo. Nor do I know what it means


This verse was great for me, incredibly patterned imagery coupled with lyrical brevity wrapped snug in a cable-knit, cashmere/ synaesthtic visio-thematic blend, bleeding into deep sea bends in the marinara meatball trench! If that makes sense (which it actually does if you look past the continental plate!)


Serious though. Fantastic rhyming in a entertaining and technically masterful package.

I hope your next year is not a wash, Mr. Vulgar

[Certain]

This sort of verse must be appreciated as a collage of fragmented masterpieces or disregarded as a pile of broken rubbish. The flow carried me through because your rhyme scheme was ridiculous. I had flashes of a single-path narrative, and each of your lines individually made some level of sense to me (excepting the few where I had no frames of reference on your allusions).

Those allusions were such a unique mixture. You had Korova Milk Bars stuck in Canadian provinces and bodies of water taking United Nations dick. I put together some level of commentary on the world's socioeconomic climate, but I'm not sure the thesis was completed. I say I'm not sure because, again, there were a small handful of lines I simply didn't understand. I have no idea what "Karzamakov" means, for instance. I even Googled that one, to no avail.

My preference tends to be writing grounded in concrete images. But that might be my writing ability talking. I simply couldn't write something like this, and I appreciate the level of skill that goes into it.

[veritas]

circuitbreakers in his mouth like fried gumbo, tonguing a kundalini


damn.

[BWHAHA]

very sophisistcatded

[PancakeBrah]

I ENJOYED THIS BUT I'M BOYCOTTING FULL FEED FOR THE MOMENT.