View Full Version : random stuff
Dope girl
10-08-2014, 08:03 PM
im the hottest around
im the queen of underground
im the illest the game
my bars are hot like a flame
mudering these cats on tracks
beefing with me killah broad attacks
Ghost1
10-08-2014, 08:45 PM
Some of this is recycled....still fire tho.
Vulgar
10-10-2014, 12:30 AM
HOF but not your best work..
Clayray
10-10-2014, 03:54 AM
im the hottest around
im the queen of underground
Solid opener, although I'd like to know what underground you claim to be queen of. Also, as ground and round do rhyme, try finding ways to incorporate the "under" segment into the rhymes aswell and choosing a word better suited for it than "around"
ie; I'm the hottest with the power of a thundercloud
I'm the queen of underground.
im the illest the game
my bars are hot like a flame
Straight to the point, I like it. Would like it better if you expanded this thought. How are you the illest? And why are your bars hot like a flame? Just some pointers to take in, showing a bit more complete thoughts never hurt anyone. But as I said before, I like your forwardness.
mudering these cats on tracks
beefing with me killah broad attacks
Once again, to the point. But like I said in the first bar I quoted a good multi rhyme would of ended this off perfectly, I like how you used an inner rhyme like "cats" with "tracks" but I think you'd find it more appeasing if you could of kept that going in the second line.
Overall it was a simple drop, with a cpl tweaks you could of had a even better one.
Hmu if you need any further help
Silver
Dope girl
10-10-2014, 09:27 AM
trying something new thanks everyone
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