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-   -   [Round 1] 3. -FatGingerZ- vs 10. SMACK [FatGingerZ advance] (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150174)

Answer 12-28-2021 03:25 PM

[Round 1] 3. -FatGingerZ- vs 10. SMACK [FatGingerZ advance]
 
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Check in by 12/31/2021 at 11:59 p.m. EST
You won't be disqualified if you don't check in, but please just do it. It's a common courtesy
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Verses due Tuesday, 1/4/2022 at 11:59 p.m. EST (yes, Eastern)
It's a lot of time and not a lot of lines, don't ask for extensions
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8 lines per team, no more & no less
If both teams agree to it, you can do more than 8 lines. 8 is the absolute minimum.
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All the usual rules apply (No biting, recycling, pm'ing for votes, etc.)

If you complete your verse early, feel free to post it or send it to me via PM. I will only post verses once both teams have submitted.

Don't bitch about votes. If you have any complaints, PM me directly and I will assess the situation. Votes without explanations or that appear to be aliases will not be accepted

@UserName @~RustyGunZ~ @Sharp @Mac

~RustyGunZ~ 01-05-2022 11:22 PM

https://c.tenor.com/TwuTYG2ZYYkAAAAC...arlie-haas.gif

These vets in danger, both got a rep for molestin’ strangers
Cuz Mac been to more courts for taping legs than athletic trainers
& Sharp’s divorced, wanted love but was met with a harsh taste
And that separation had his ex taking balls to the house like Ja’marr Chase
Skinny faggot, keep talking and get punched in the neck
Stays debating Unions in discord, but can’t stay in one with his ex
We’re fun drunks! U drink vegan martinis before ER visits.. & ur the smallest guy
When we Cialis a good time, you gotta pop those just to have one then almost die
Wife is gone, & she got it all in the divorce.. there's no lookin back
Tragic.. She left u without any pussy for comfort wayyy before she took the cat

Answer 01-05-2022 11:41 PM

Sharp/Mac

https://i.giphy.com/media/qYfahcIBwpXZAKuM7o/giphy.webp

Seth, thanks for the support. I'm glad for your cherished friendship...
Because every time I think of your family I feel relieved my marriage ended
Stopped art for the kids but I'm the failure? That's absurd and it's twisted
You've created two things in your miserable life and one turned out autistic
User, you love my partner as much as you hate battling. Homie, listen:
An extreme desire to spoon Mac doesn't count as wanting to crush the competition
Fat, old, unmotivated. Seth n User deserve every roast and neg
These two are the most disgusting drain in text since the one in User's bloated leg
you're on the verge of death - man ur whole family should know
Insurance risk form.. checked all the boxes quickly like its a website cookies window

Answer 01-06-2022 08:55 AM

These vets in danger, both got a rep for molestin’ strangers
Cuz Mac been to more courts for taping legs than athletic trainers

I dig this

& Sharp’s divorced, wanted love but was met with a harsh taste
And that separation had his ex taking balls to the house like Ja’marr Chase

I'll be honest, I don't really get it. Wording's cool. I tried to google specifics about Jamarr Chase, and I get there's some kind of football/nuts reference and maybe something about separation on the field, but I'm not really sure where the "ex" or the "house" fit into this. This one's a miss for me

Skinny faggot, keep talking and get punched in the neck
Stays debating Unions in discord, but can’t stay in one with his ex

This was dope and a relevant personal on both sides imo

We’re fun drunks! U drink vegan martinis before ER visits.. & ur the smallest guy
When we Cialis a good time, you gotta pop those just to have one then almost die

The cialis wp has definitely been done a few times, especially if you go back and look at Allen Knight battles and similar aliases. The execution/wording is cool, but there's no novelty here

Wife is gone, & she got it all in the divorce.. there's no lookin back
Tragic.. She left u without any pussy for comfort wayyy before she took the cat

I'm not fully brushed up on the backstory here, but I'm just gonna assume it's true that his wife took the cat in the divorce. Decent personal jab, but also the pussy/cat thing has been done a lot



Seth, thanks for the support. I'm glad for your cherished friendship...
Because every time I think of your family I feel relieved my marriage ended

cool opener, but I'm more in favor of bars with wp and/or similes integrated into them

Stopped art for the kids but I'm the failure? That's absurd and it's twisted
You've created two things in your miserable life and one turned out autistic

this was dope to me

User, you love my partner as much as you hate battling. Homie, listen:
An extreme desire to spoon Mac doesn't count as wanting to crush the competition

not a major blow but kinda funny

Fat, old, unmotivated. Seth n User deserve every roast and neg
These two are the most disgusting drain in text since the one in User's bloated leg

if you could've made some kind of double meaning out of "text" with relation to the leg drain, it would've made this bar hit harder. This is alright as it is

you're on the verge of death - man ur whole family should know
Insurance risk form.. checked all the boxes quickly like its a website cookies window

eh wasn't really feeling this one



fav bars from seth/user:
These vets in danger, both got a rep for molestin’ strangers
Cuz Mac been to more courts for taping legs than athletic trainers
Skinny faggot, keep talking and get punched in the neck
Stays debating Unions in discord, but can’t stay in one with his ex

fav bars from mac/sharp:
Stopped art for the kids but I'm the failure? That's absurd and it's twisted
You've created two things in your miserable life and one turned out autistic
User, you love my partner as much as you hate battling. Homie, listen:
An extreme desire to spoon Mac doesn't count as wanting to crush the competition



overall this was a cool battle, I dig all the personal jabs. It really came off as a battle between Seth/User vs. Sharp. The gingers had like one line aimed at Mac and I didn't really sense his presence much in the smack verse


this was a really close battle in my opinion. I think my least favorite bar of the battle was the "check all the boxes" bar because it was the only bar in the battle where it didn't feel super original, didn't have a personal tie-in, and wasn't really executed in a way that it has a strong sting on it. Ultimately I think that bar is the achilles heel in SMACK's verse that tipped the scales in favor of User/Seth for me.

good battle from both sides

v/ FatGingerZ

Blue Bayou 01-06-2022 10:19 AM

These vets in danger, both got a rep for molestin’ strangers
Cuz Mac been to more courts for taping legs than athletic trainers

Lol pretty cool

& Sharp’s divorced, wanted love but was met with a harsh taste
And that separation had his ex taking balls to the house like Ja’marr Chase

Lmao jokes... "taking balls to the house" is a great concept and the timing is perfect for this bar after his 3TD performance... good stuff

Skinny faggot, keep talking and get punched in the neck
Stays debating Unions in discord, but can’t stay in one with his ex

Haha great double personal that was delivered perfectly

We’re fun drunks! U drink vegan martinis before ER visits.. & ur the smallest guy
When we Cialis a good time, you gotta pop those just to have one then almost die

Lmao at the setup , but cialis wp has been done many times in the past in similar fashion so the punch isn't fresh

Wife is gone, & she got it all in the divorce.. there's no lookin back
Tragic.. She left u without any pussy for comfort wayyy before she took the cat

Lol.. I'm not a big fan of pussy/cat concepts in this day and age but the personal hit makes this enjoyable



Seth, thanks for the support. I'm glad for your cherished friendship...
Because every time I think of your family I feel relieved my marriage ended

Lmao great use of predicting their personals and countering.. wording was great here, this hits

Stopped art for the kids but I'm the failure? That's absurd and it's twisted
You've created two things in your miserable life and one turned out autistic

Lol another good direct hit

User, you love my partner as much as you hate battling. Homie, listen:
An extreme desire to spoon Mac doesn't count as wanting to crush the competition

Lol this is okay.. like the User loving Mac angle but concept is just decent to me

Fat, old, unmotivated. Seth n User deserve every roast and neg
These two are the most disgusting drain in text since the one in User's bloated leg

Ahhhh I like the angle but I feel like the drain idea could've been done better here ... solid personal jab but "drain in text" could've been flipped diff imo

you're on the verge of death - man ur whole family should know
Insurance risk form.. checked all the boxes quickly like its a website cookies window

As in looked in the caskets? Put them in caskets? I feel like there's a cool concept here but it's just not connected will enough to be a great attack bar for some reason... sorry if I'm missing something , need more coffee


Great battle and very enjoyable read for the most part... Sharps opening two (or Macs portrayal of Sharp) were great but on the whole the fatties were more consistent and edged this imo
Props to all


Vote - FG


EDIT VOTE SHARP AKA CIALIS

sral 01-06-2022 04:19 PM

lmao intro graphics should have gone in the mag, would have been dope

These vets in danger, both got a rep for molestin’ strangers
Cuz Mac been to more courts for taping legs than athletic trainers

I get it, decent idea, I wasn’t so keen on its execution as I felt it needed more somehow either by way of something funny or something harsh and aggressive to really make the most of it. As it is, it’s just okay, a good idea but a little light on the execution/delivery of it for me personally as an opening line.

& Sharp’s divorced, wanted love but was met with a harsh taste
And that separation had his ex taking balls to the house like Ja’marr Chase

Oh shit, Sharp being divorced is legit? I had no idea so can’t fully give this props on legitimacy of the personal to be honest. If it’s true then it may hit harder than I realise. I’m not entirely sure who Jamarr Chase and don’t care to google it, I get the idea he/she is probably a b-ball player or something from the wording. Again, it’s a good idea, maybe a little light on the execution again right at the end of the line but it was decent enough.

Skinny faggot, keep talking and get punched in the neck
Stays debating Unions in discord, but can’t stay in one with his ex

This one was better, good follow up on the previous lines theme, again I’m not sure how genuine this personal angle is against Sharp (or how fresh in everyone’s minds) I wasn’t aware of this previously unless it’s a new development but I enjoyed the execution more on this one as it saved the real sting until the end but had a good bit of misdirection to it right before the payoff which I enjoyed. Best one yet.

We’re fun drunks! U drink vegan martinis before ER visits.. & ur the smallest guy
When we Cialis a good time, you gotta pop those just to have one then almost die

Cialis/ see Alice? I’m not aware of his (Ex?) wife’s name so can’t confirm and don’t know if Sharp seems the type to do any sort of drug to excess tbh. I wasn’t a fan of smallest guy/almost die as it doesn’t rhyme in my accent but this one was just okay to me because with how the wordplay was capitalised at the start of the bar it’s easy to telegraph what’s coming at the payoff, kind of like you’re spoon feeding the reader what you want them to pick up on but they end up just being able to predict what’s coming next and it loses a little impact on the surprise factor doing it that way.

Wife is gone, & she got it all in the divorce.. there's no lookin back
Tragic.. She left u without any pussy for comfort wayyy before she took the cat

I mean, the personal (if true) is there somewhat but essentially this idea centres around the word association of pussy and cat which is just pretty basic to me all things considered, especially with the ammunition the personal angle opens him up to. I kind of feel like more should have been done here, this one should probably have been scrapped in favour of something stronger. There may be more to the personal aspect I’m missing, maybe Alice did actually take their fur baby and Sharp has been crying about it but I’m not aware of such and doubt that would be the case regardless so I wasn’t so keen on this particular one, felt that as a closer this should have been stronger and closed things out with more impact to it.

Sharp/Mac


Seth, thanks for the support. I'm glad for your cherished friendship...
Because every time I think of your family I feel relieved my marriage ended

LOL I liked this off the bat, great self-awareness to take your opponents pen and turn it against them by insulting him on it and using that angle to your advantage. This was worded really well and with good execution also.

Stopped art for the kids but I'm the failure? That's absurd and it's twisted
You've created two things in your miserable life and one turned out autistic

I liked this one also, nice personal shot at them with misdirection used to good effect here. The payoff at the end was well done and not so easy to telegraph what was coming there, so overall it was a clean punchline that hit for me and gave the personal impact.

User, you love my partner as much as you hate battling. Homie, listen:
An extreme desire to spoon Mac doesn't count as wanting to crush the competition

This was more of a light jab at them, using your partner to good effect and the crush the competition addition was fun but it maybe lacked the delivery of the opening lines which seemed to land with more sting. As I say, this was a different approach, not that that’s always bad but after opening so strongly with the first couple hits this one felt like it lacked some of the punch power you showed earlier on.

Fat, old, unmotivated. Seth n User deserve every roast and neg
These two are the most disgusting drain in text since the one in User's bloated leg

This was just okay to me; not entirely sure if there’s some sort of personal there revolving around an image of User’s leg that’s completely missed me but I feel like either I’m missing something or the personal is missing something. It’s a swing and a miss to me.

you're on the verge of death - man ur whole family should know
Insurance risk form.. checked all the boxes quickly like its a website cookies window

The concept in there seems a decent idea, it’s just a bit overly wordy and convoluted, it didn’t really have the payoff to it either that the earlier lines in this verse had. The verse overall seemed to start strongest and then end weakest as it went on, you guys probably should have reversed the order you put these bars in so that it read stronger towards the end and finished with more sting as it progressed. It’s quite clear to me which Sharp did and which Mac did, User and Seth’s not so much so and overall I think the consistency may be what some will go for here. If I’m completely honest, the stronger of the four seemed to be Sharp to me in terms of stuff I enjoyed, I felt he was very consistent in his ideas, wording and execution. Each one hit, and hit well, whether it was a harsh personal or a more comedic line. User and Seth maybe showed more consistency overall as a team, but I preferred those bangers from Sharp over the decent/okayish consistency of User and Seth here. It could be that the references / personals were lost on me somewhat as I said earlier, I guess those in the loop may enjoy them more than us not so.

Vote - Smack

kungfugrip 01-06-2022 07:55 PM

Kevin's now-deleted vote for Sharp/Mac

evaD 01-07-2022 02:54 AM

Taping legs
Unions
Took the cat was a funny personal
Jamarr chase nicely worded makes it hit

Sharp opener was nice and rebuts FGs angles
Spooning mac was lotb
Drain on text was ok
Cookies window doesn’t really work


Both started stronger and tapered off slightly. Sharp and Mac and the best and worst lines but FG was more consistent so I think they edge it

Vote - FG and more gifs

Answer 01-07-2022 09:36 AM

https://i.imgur.com/egRwFZr.jpg

This is an unprecedented level of swaying. next sway or blatant thread bump to sway is a dq. I know user is not partaking in this, but it goes for the whole team

let the voters do their thing

Aero 01-08-2022 08:26 AM

Fat Fingers

Molesting strangers lol but who hasn't, punch was aight / balls to the house cool / unions is funny bc he does talk about this.. ex yea this cool.. kinda simple but cool / lol'ed at drinking vegan martinis before ER.. Cialis = Say Al is? Nope / took the cat needed a better setup but coolish

Sharp / Mac

Marriage ended was cute / turned out autistic was nice good delivery, if its true lol damn/ spoon Mac could've been so dope way to drop the ball here / drain in text is an almost, / insurance risk form good idea poor execution


This is actually too close to call I need to do it by points I'll brb


Soooooo I have it tied in points at 11 but i could be convinced to vote Fat Fingerz if Seth's kid isn't autistic bc I boosted the bar on the assumption that he is.

Answer 01-08-2022 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~RustyGunZ~ (Post 818748)
He isn’t just a genius

There's a difference between saying "He isn't just a genius" and "He isn't, just a genius". I think you're trying to say the latter, bud

Quote:

@Answer this isn’t a sway he asked and they’re cluttering the thread with explanations of bars I’m not SWAYIN I’m just SAYIN do you’re fuckong job for once
I'm not sitting around staring at the lime every second of the day. It's been like 30 minutes. Calm your fucking tits, ginger


if you're not part of the battle, keep all discussions of bars and explanations in PM's or some other form of direct messaging. Also, don't allow writers or ask writers to sway your vote if they are part of the battle

Quill 01-08-2022 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~RustyGunZ~ (Post 818646)
https://c.tenor.com/TwuTYG2ZYYkAAAAC...arlie-haas.gif

These vets in danger, both got a rep for molestin’ strangers
Cuz Mac been to more courts for taping legs than athletic trainers
Decent jab
& Sharp’s divorced, wanted love but was met with a harsh taste
And that separation had his ex taking balls to the house like Ja’marr Chase
This was good.
Skinny faggot, keep talking and get punched in the neck
Stays debating Unions in discord, but can’t stay in one with his ex
Decent jab, not sure about rehashing the same personal in this short of a verse though
We’re fun drunks! U drink vegan martinis before ER visits.. & ur the smallest guy
When we Cialis a good time, you gotta pop those just to have one then almost die
Wasn't big on this..
Wife is gone, & she got it all in the divorce.. there's no lookin back
Tragic.. She left u without any pussy for comfort wayyy before she took the cat
[B]Its not bad, but its the 3rd best take on this personal.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Answer (Post 818647)
Sharp/Mac

https://i.giphy.com/media/qYfahcIBwpXZAKuM7o/giphy.webp

Seth, thanks for the support. I'm glad for your cherished friendship...
Because every time I think of your family I feel relieved my marriage ended
Decent jab.
Stopped art for the kids but I'm the failure? That's absurd and it's twisted
You've created two things in your miserable life and one turned out autistic
Youch.
User, you love my partner as much as you hate battling. Homie, listen:
An extreme desire to spoon Mac doesn't count as wanting to crush the competition
This was funny
Fat, old, unmotivated. Seth n User deserve every roast and neg
These two are the most disgusting drain in text since the one in User's bloated leg
Didn't do a lot for me.
you're on the verge of death - man ur whole family should know
Insurance risk form.. checked all the boxes quickly like its a website cookies window
Decent jab.

I got SMACK edging this. Solid showing by both though.

Dominate 01-08-2022 11:57 PM

Great use of gifs guys that's super fun, thanks.

These vets in danger, both got a rep for molestin’ strangers
Cuz Mac been to more courts for taping legs than athletic trainers
Nice. Cool concept executed well. This is smooth.
& Sharp’s divorced, wanted love but was met with a harsh taste
And that separation had his ex taking balls to the house like Ja’marr Chase
Punch lost a little impact for me needing the explanation, but now that I get it I can say that it's objectively pretty good. Tied to the personal angle well
Skinny faggot, keep talking and get punched in the neck
Stays debating Unions in discord, but can’t stay in one with his ex
Heh. Simple wordplay but the punch is harsh enough and the double personal makes it quite good
We’re fun drunks! U drink vegan martinis before ER visits.. & ur the smallest guy
When we Cialis a good time, you gotta pop those just to have one then almost die
This one's a big miss for me. I saw you explain it as "see ale is". I've never heard it pronounced like that and I know it's not just bc I'm Australian because I heard it recently when I watched Don't Look Up and considered flipping it myself haha
Wife is gone, & she got it all in the divorce.. there's no lookin back
Tragic.. She left u without any pussy for comfort wayyy before she took the cat
LoL. I mean the wordplay is pussy/cat which is obviously is super played/basic/noobish but the personal feels harsh and funny enough that I still like this




Seth, thanks for the support. I'm glad for your cherished friendship...
Because every time I think of your family I feel relieved my marriage ended
LoL. Good way to flip the expected divorce personals back on him. Worded well enough to hit
Stopped art for the kids but I'm the failure? That's absurd and it's twisted
You've created two things in your miserable life and one turned out autistic
Haha. Again good, wording is harsh
User, you love my partner as much as you hate battling. Homie, listen:
An extreme desire to spoon Mac doesn't count as wanting to crush the competition
Not bad. Have seen 'crush' wordplays before. Not super hard hitting punch wise but it's an OK bar
Fat, old, unmotivated. Seth n User deserve every roast and neg
These two are the most disgusting drain in text since the one in User's bloated leg
Cool. Wp's basic but the personal tie in makes it OK
you're on the verge of death - man ur whole family should know
Insurance risk form.. checked all the boxes quickly like its a website cookies window
Probably your weakest bar. It's a light punch even if the context you put it in is creative, and the wordplay is pretty basic unless I'm missing something.


This is pretty close IMO but I'll give it to the gingers. Sharp's first two bars were harsh but then the verse became just OK and then meh on the last bar. Knuck had the Cialis bar that was a bad miss to me but otherwise was consistently good. Thanks for the read fellas

bare ryu 01-10-2022 04:20 AM

fatgingerz
These vets in danger, both got a rep for molestin’ strangers
Cuz Mac been to more courts for taping legs than athletic trainers
smooth wording. not a lot of sting but the execution carries it
& Sharp’s divorced, wanted love but was met with a harsh taste
And that separation had his ex taking balls to the house like Ja’marr Chase
cool wording. good bar. dont watch football so i didnt get the reference immediately which kinda took away from it but the wording kept the momentum
Skinny faggot, keep talking and get punched in the neck
Stays debating Unions in discord, but can’t stay in one with his ex
lmfao this one was pretty funny
We’re fun drunks! U drink vegan martinis before ER visits.. & ur the smallest guy
When we Cialis a good time, you gotta pop those just to have one then almost die
pretty good a little light for me though
Wife is gone, & she got it all in the divorce.. there's no lookin back
Tragic.. She left u without any pussy for comfort wayyy before she took the cat
not too sold on the pussy/cat angle but ur approach was funny. the personal added to it too. solid closer

smack
Seth, thanks for the support. I'm glad for your cherished friendship...
Because every time I think of your family I feel relieved my marriage ended
not a bad opener
Stopped art for the kids but I'm the failure? That's absurd and it's twisted
You've created two things in your miserable life and one turned out autistic
yikes...lol
User, you love my partner as much as you hate battling. Homie, listen:
An extreme desire to spoon Mac doesn't count as wanting to crush the competition
light jab, pretty funny. just not entirely sold on it though. maybe it seems a bit on the nose
Fat, old, unmotivated. Seth n User deserve every roast and neg
These two are the most disgusting drain in text since the one in User's bloated leg
i think i get the reference if i recall some of the pics on dc. decent jab
you're on the verge of death - man ur whole family should know
Insurance risk form.. checked all the boxes quickly like its a website cookies window
i read this a couple times and i think the angle is really fresh but the execution is alright. maybe some adjustments to the punch could have made it a stronger closer

my vote goes to smack. this one was pretty close to me. both had a haymaker but i think smack just proved to be more consistent with their other lines. could go either way though

Fracture 01-12-2022 11:45 AM

this was a fun read

so... with user and seth, i thought the comical approach on personals was nice. my fav line was the union one, taking the cat and jamar chasse were also sick. cialis was a big miss for me. stifled the momentum a little


Sharp and Mac... I felt the marriage ended was an okay start and a good call on a premeditated counter. autistic was brutal and line of the battle imo. aside from those two opening bars I liked bloated leg, but the closer was long winded and nothing more than clever. also didnt care for crush the competition, felt like that could of been better


Without sounding too cliche this battles tough because with user and seth i felt there was one more bar that was likable, while with sharp and mac i felt they had the easy line of the battle. gottta vote seth and user for consistency, but whoever wrote autistic line is the battles mvp

sral 01-12-2022 06:47 PM

@Sinacog could you vote on this please?

Aero 01-12-2022 07:30 PM

Om 4th read my vote goes to Seth and User. I think they jabbed stronger. Sharp had LOTB but I think some of the other concepts either needed some tweaking. User and Seth kept it safer except the Cialis bar.


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