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-   -   Universe vs Swerve - SWERVE WINS (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=149011)

Sharp 07-05-2021 09:57 PM

Universe vs Swerve - SWERVE WINS
 
The Summer Classic



Due: Thursday, 7/8 @ 11:59 PST
24hr ext available but must be requested before verse is due
Line Limit: 10-16 lines
*can increase if both agree
NO biting
NO swaying
NO feeding
Don't edit after your opponent has posted
2nd person to post can't edit after the first vote comes in
Don't be an idiot
Don't use your opponent's pic unless it's a pic battle
May God have mercy on your souls

@Universe @timeless

Swerve 07-08-2021 09:59 PM

Checking in if he ded.

Universe 07-08-2021 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swerve (Post 808267)
Checking in if he ded.

He is now. 24 line max. Cool? Need ext?

Universe 07-08-2021 11:10 PM

Fuck it, 16 then...

Guess with Swerve everyone gets a turn... You're not enough of a reason to write
You're not known to frequent this site; Who knows where this freak-went to bite
I drop copious types of open mics, stories & braggadocious-like affairs
This flame's more like a crematorium, he never puts himself out there
No Caps crew? I'll stay lower case your bros hear me laugh dude
I'd call you a fag, but your rap name's so gay I don't really have to
General bars galore, like hardware stores every line's an easy chore
There's no basis for that... so having something apply wood leave me floored
Long-term plan is Orc you geek, warm up week; You just a whore to me
How I know you're not a man? Body cam, I have it on good authority
Got 40 victories yet from what I see no verse is that deadly
Lyrically I'll fly circles around you... but we went over this already...
No hall of names for Swerve; I tried to find text that's saved and failed
Kinda sketch he has a way with words yet left no paper trail...
Smart money's on me, Pennywise, This vet's a crappy replacement
Now watch him go missin'... No kiddin'... You NEVER had what IT takes bitch...

Swerve 07-09-2021 12:30 AM

This isn't the GWL, to pass at this you'll need balance,
But you do always write to a theme....trash texter with no actual talents.
Swerve come through your block spraying, bullets hit the air with a thud,
So when you see my barrel go over the falls....they'll run red with your blood.
Bring your broad to the show, kicked him out and concussed her,
He listens...
and Universe'll pictures me plowing his girl to the latest Hollywood Blockbuster.
But that's not true, you dont got one - cause you think boys is the sweetest,
Dudes putting more life inside the Universe than a UFO conspiracy theorist.
Swerve an artist with the piece, your body explode n be left dead,
Cause when this strap adjusts your back, you won't be able to recommend me in Hens' thread.
I'm a grizzly all star from deep, but in the streets I let the colt sing,
You're not curry -
So when this last minute replacement shoots from range, I'm winning the whole thing.
If someone thought you would win, they're not seeing you're fickle pest,
Cause that verse did more self damage than the Iranian Missile test.
Decapitate with each swing, Swerve have you leaving in parts,
Lay this hook on a 'Verse so nasty...it'll get to number on on the charts.

Cereal 07-09-2021 04:19 AM

this is a pretty close battle..

structure wise it was balanced and punches were pretty even to i think universe just edged it out.. but where verse took the win its the vocab and how he was more fluent with his delivery with them..

cool battle thanks

vote = universe

UserName 07-09-2021 06:22 PM

Kind of a style clash. Universe came with the multis and flow and inner rhyme schemes that were fun to read yet weren’t really saying much, and swerve brought the creativity but wording was a little off on a few.

Universe - cool verse man, I enjoyed the fluidity of it. Crematorium idea was dope, but you had a lot of lines that just came off statementish, which I know is a terrible critique to give. Lines like your opener, the one about his rap name being gay, and the flying circles around him line just feel like they could’ve been better used to drive the point home more.

Swerve - like I said, creative, but wording was off a few times. Universe’ll pictures as an example, needed a bit more thought behind it. the way it’s worded, you’re using a contraction on his name that wouldn’t make sense if you break the contraction up. Universe will pictures? The plural ruined it for me. Small little things like that. Nothing too egregious, just felt it was worth mentioning for the sake of my sanity.

Still, cool battle. Enjoyed the read guys.

Swerve gets my vote

V - Swerve

Answer 07-09-2021 07:00 PM

Guess with Swerve everyone gets a turn... You're not enough of a reason to write
You're not known to frequent this site; Who knows where this freak-went to bite

wp is ok but the execution of it could've been better

I drop copious types of open mics, stories & braggadocious-like affairs
This flame's more like a crematorium, he never puts himself out there

ok, wording feels a bit like a dad joke

No Caps crew? I'll stay lower case your bros hear me laugh dude
I'd call you a fag, but your rap name's so gay I don't really have to

lol

General bars galore, like hardware stores every line's an easy chore
There's no basis for that... so having something apply wood leave me floored

i get that this is a hardware scheme but its pieced together a bit sloppily

Long-term plan is Orc you geek, warm up week; You just a whore to me
How I know you're not a man? Body cam, I have it on good authority

I really like this concept. wording could've been a little harsher but overall this is solid

Got 40 victories yet from what I see no verse is that deadly
Lyrically I'll fly circles around you... but we went over this already...

not really feeling it

No hall of names for Swerve; I tried to find text that's saved and failed
Kinda sketch he has a way with words yet left no paper trail...

eh its okay

Smart money's on me, Pennywise, This vet's a crappy replacement
Now watch him go missin'... No kiddin'... You NEVER had what IT takes bitch...

I get the idea and it's cool conceptually, kinda has a similar wording style to the authority bar, which kind of falls flat. I think it could've been worded with more intent



This isn't the GWL, to pass at this you'll need balance,
But you do always write to a theme....trash texter with no actual talents.

i feel like this couldve been a bit stronger if you just omitted the word "actual". it just took longer to hammer the punchline in

Swerve come through your block spraying, bullets hit the air with a thud,
So when you see my barrel go over the falls....they'll run red with your blood.

i like the idea, wording could've hit harder

Bring your broad to the show, kicked him out and concussed her,
He listens...
and Universe'll pictures me plowing his girl to the latest Hollywood Blockbuster.

the picture/pictures difference bugs me. The overall idea was cool, but it needs to be ironed out better

But that's not true, you dont got one - cause you think boys is the sweetest,
Dudes putting more life inside the Universe than a UFO conspiracy theorist.

kinda funny, kinda gross. but overall effective enough

Swerve an artist with the piece, your body explode n be left dead,
Cause when this strap adjusts your back, you won't be able to recommend me in Hens' thread.

The strap double meaning is dated and unless I'm missing something, you're just referring to the same meaning of the word "back" twice. Wording and that is fine, but this one feels like a letdown

I'm a grizzly all star from deep, but in the streets I let the colt sing,
You're not curry -
So when this last minute replacement shoots from range, I'm winning the whole thing.

this is alright. it would've been fire in like 2006 but its a lot of dated ideas without much new to mix it up

If someone thought you would win, they're not seeing you're fickle pest,
Cause that verse did more self damage than the Iranian Missile test.

I think you could've added more to this, which would've taken it up to the next level. but it's still cool as it is

Decapitate with each swing, Swerve have you leaving in parts,
Lay this hook on a 'Verse so nasty...it'll get to number on on the charts.

ok



highlights:

universe -

No Caps crew? I'll stay lower case your bros hear me laugh dude
I'd call you a fag, but your rap name's so gay I don't really have to
Long-term plan is Orc you geek, warm up week; You just a whore to me
How I know you're not a man? Body cam, I have it on good authority


swerve -
This isn't the GWL, to pass at this you'll need balance,
But you do always write to a theme....trash texter with no actual talents.
But that's not true, you dont got one - cause you think boys is the sweetest,
Dudes putting more life inside the Universe than a UFO conspiracy theorist.



overall, I do think it's a close battle. I feel like Universe had fresher concepts and if he had worded them the right way I think he would've ran away with this. I feel like some of swerve's ideas were stale but his overall wording was better and he remained more consistent throughout.

v/ swerve for consistency

Incredible 07-10-2021 02:44 AM

Universe:

"Long-term plan is Orc you geek, warm up week; You just a whore to me
How I know you're not a man? Body cam, I have it on good authority"

Decent

"No hall of names for Swerve; I tried to find text that's saved and failed
Kinda sketch he has a way with words yet left no paper trail..."

Cool here



Overall:

Pennywise was ok too didn't really tie together the best. Some other stuff was a little played like the wood and floored/hardware store. Caps crew was okish. Flow of the verse as a whole was good just not that many punches that landed imo.



Vs.



Swerve:

"Swerve come through your block spraying, bullets hit the air with a thud,
So when you see my barrel go over the falls....they'll run red with your blood."

Cool here

"But that's not true, you dont got one - cause you think boys is the sweetest,
Dudes putting more life inside the Universe than a UFO conspiracy theorist."

Dope


"Decapitate with each swing, Swerve have you leaving in parts,
Lay this hook on a 'Verse so nasty...it'll get to number on on the charts."

I mean you can only cut his head off once. The punch/wordplay made up for it though.


Overall:

Couple hiccups but overall a solid effort here. Solid punches nice wordplay that flowed with bar and didn't make it confusing. Swerve had the better verse.


Vote = Swerve

Mac 07-10-2021 10:55 AM

Long-term plan is Orc you geek, warm up week; You just a whore to me
How I know you're not a man? Body cam, I have it on good authority
No hall of names for Swerve; I tried to find text that's saved and failed
Kinda sketch he has a way with words yet left no paper trail...

vs.

This isn't the GWL, to pass at this you'll need balance,
But you do always write to a theme....trash texter with no actual talents.
I'm a grizzly all star from deep, but in the streets I let the colt sing,
You're not curry -
So when this last minute replacement shoots from range, I'm winning the whole thing.
Decapitate with each swing, Swerve have you leaving in parts,
Lay this hook on a 'Verse so nasty...it'll get to number on on the charts.

I got swerve here. Most of the lines by universe lacked sting and were pretty simple.. like the gay or missing line.. if it were 10 lines this would have been much more close, 16too much. Swerve came pretty decent and consistent.. some bland lines too but overall slightly better.. good battle guys, good to see a Universe verse again

Sharp 07-11-2021 10:34 PM

How Bout a vote @Wanderer @bleak @Bomb Bard

dull boy 07-12-2021 11:09 AM

Jesus.

This is terrible. I wish I could cast both of you from this tournament after reading these verses. Are you horrible people? Maybe, but probably not. Did you write awful opening verses for the CLASSIC? Indubitably. There were more lines where I thought to myself, 'why would you leave this in a verse you posted' than lines where I was like, 'hm, okay, I can see where this could've been good if someone who knows how to write a bar wrote it.' I'm torn. This vote comes down to who could actually put up a fight in the following round. Universe has had enough time to figure out how to battle and hasn't. Maybe Swerve underestimated Universe? Idk. I'm leaning Swerve, but some of his shit, 'Universe'll pictures me', was so stupid it feels wrong for him to win.

Fuck both of you.

Vote - Uni

~RustyGunZ~ 07-12-2021 11:25 AM

Jesus.

This is terrible. I wish I could cast both of you from this tournament after reading these verses. Are you horrible people? Maybe, but probably not. Did you write awful opening verses for the CLASSIC? Indubitably. There were more lines where I thought to myself, 'why would you leave this in a verse you posted' than lines where I was like, 'hm, okay, I can see where this could've been good if someone who knows how to write a bar wrote it.' I'm torn. This vote comes down to who could actually put up a fight in the following round. Universe has had enough time to figure out how to battle and hasn't. Maybe Swerve underestimated Universe? Idk. I'm leaning Swerve, but some of his shit, 'Universe'll pictures me', was so stupid it feels wrong for him to win.

Fuck both of you.

Vote - Swerve

UPN Zuch 07-12-2021 03:24 PM

I mean, I’ve seen worse shit than this. I think dull might be having a bad day


This is one of Uni’s better verses. Nothing dope, but they at least connected and I thought the body cam line was pretty clever actually but that’s just me.

Swerve kind of had the same thing going, nothing dope but he did have a couple really forced bars with the universe wordplay, the UFO bar seemed lazy and the closer was just bleh. Your verses last time you were around were actually cool I think maybe you rushed this one.

Wish I could vote and get this closed but I got Universe here because he had less bad misses and I thought the body can bar was clever.


Vote universe

Wanderer 07-12-2021 03:43 PM

Universe

Bodycam was cool to me and crematorium. The rest fell kinda short

Swerve

Opener, conspiracy theorist and chart number 1 were cool

This was really tough to call but just on preference and maybe one more quotable, I’m edging this to swerve


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