This thread is for username and only username, so if you're not username stay the fuck out
 

@UserName

Link to my newest battle cause video embed doesn’t seem to work on phones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE044GrYSXo

Bro, where's my tag team tournament accomplishment? I don't write on this site for nothing.

i turned it off after the 8th gunbar so like, 2 minutes in, but yo, you've got good energy and decent presence despite the lisp. boisterous and shit.

try taking a walk though brother every now and then.

respect.

Gonna watch when I get home, gracias

technically I'm a username, wucha need chief

Man, that TSA bar is so damn good.

Are you looking for feedback here? You know that I think your material is elite, - you're one of the best to ever do it in text. But I do have some notes on delivery.

If you got anything specific def let me know. I definitely feel like I need to change my approach and do some things different next battle but haven’t really figured out what exactly apart from slowing it down. The lisp shit is something I have to work around, so I’ve considered going more comedic but I do feel like being able to use aggression and bark on people is an asset. I’ve considered aggressively joking and/or just REEALLY slowing down my rounds and letting punches marinate. There’s a dude named madface who kinda raps like that and pulls it off fairly well. but it runs the risk of people not reacting followed by long awkward pauses

This is basically what I had in mind - I wondered if it was a deliberate choice to not give your punchlines more breathing space since you’ve done comedy and obviously know how to deliver a line in that format. I hear what you’re saying about not getting the reaction and potential awkward pauses but, again, your material is as good as it gets - I think the risk/benefit ratio is pretty low for you. Especially if you’re gonna use bars that you’ve already trialed in text battles and know are sick like the TSA and Cogsworth ones. You don’t necessarily need to slow everything down - just the parts that have wordplay so people have time to digest it - and pause for a beat after the punchline to let it hit before starting up the next one. Consider also - you ARE getting the reaction from the crowd, but at the moment it’s often coming when you’re already midway into your next bar causing you to have to stop-start which can’t be fun for you.

In terms of the aggression/bark, I think that’s probably more of a subjective thing and bottom line you should just do what feels right for you with that, but for me personally I preferred how you rapped the tag tourney verses in that mag - a bit of a bark in parts, depending on the material, but not so constant. It probably works best with attack/gun bars, less so when you’re just clowning on your opponent. I don’t really notice the lisp in either form of delivery tbh. It’s there, but it’s not like… distracting or anything.

Already looking forward to seeing the next one.

At this point just give your bars to someone who can deliver them. They're good but like come on.

tbh I've nearly exhausted my repetoire of text bars minus a bunch of "I banged your mom/girl" bars that I'm trying to spread out a bit and some wildly experimental bars like "I go to barnes and noble, truly touched by some penmanship. He goes to barnes and noble has semen left in their nuts by the end of it"

The sort of comical/gross/pauseworthy stuff hasn't really gone over quite as well in live battles in my experience. And I cant really test out material here til there's an active battle scene again

I appreciate all your feedback though. I'm def gonna try to slow it down and do deliberate pauses for the next one and see how it works out

You can have one of mine, bud. You’re starting to look desperate for an ez board title.

LMAO @ Barnes and noble. Dope.

Have you used that school bus line yet? That’s one of very few bars I can remember I genuinely LOL’d reading.

Obv don’t use that aggressive delivery for either of those though.

You can reword and use any of my bars if you want to and if ghostwriting’s not a thing that’s frowned upon in that scene.

There's a lot of bars I'd probably steal from the site if I didn't have any integrity. Kinda defeats the purpose for me though. I know I'm never gonna be the best rapper out there, so the bars are one of the few things I'm bringing to the table. I'd ghostwrite for someone else if I knew someone who was up for it and was the right personality to work with.

and there are still people that don't really know I'm deaf, so I'm still letting them catch on. Once it's clear, I'll prob use the school bus line

You dont have a tag team title. Your team got crushed by us you're inferior.

i dont even undersatnd either side. sound like hav bb stroke while being shy and confident same time.