Blue Bayou vs Nigma
NWL:Season I: Week X
@Blue Bayou vs @Nigma Verses ares due: THURSDAY at 11:59 PM EST Voting ends: SUNDAY at 11:59 PM EST Line Limit: Minimum:10 lines, Max: 30 Voting on 2 battles is required. TOPIC THREAD IS FOUND AT THE TOP OF THIS FORUM WITH THE BATTLES - PICK FROM THE TOPIC THREAD! |
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https://wafiqsyed.files.wordpress.co...esize_640x.jpg
. . the system is broken. it’s truly such a miserable notion more ass-backwards then an eel doing twists in the ocean a glitch in components. so sick & it sticks to the quotient fickle & dormant. progressions off track with some missing coordinate’s white noise in effect. the wrong lessons from a poisonous pen not one mention of credit cards.. mortgages or avoidance of debt annoyed & a wreck. we don’t learn about budgets & taxes we learn trigonometry. pie graphs & what’s under an axis it’s utterly madness. teacher sayin “come & see me in private” tellin me i need ADHD pills.. bitch all i really need is some guidance a key realignment. one that supersedes the thieves & the tyrants it needs a refinement. plus a new regime to give me the assignments i frown at the truth. come here world let me holler atchu instead of new triangles you need to try new angles on how to improve i’ll prolly turn to the bottle. each & every word is just hollow no nuggets of hope & if i fail this bullshit i gotta work at McDonalds the system is broken. it’s truly such a miserable notion more ass-backwards then an eel doing twists in the ocean |
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IF HE DOESN'T SHOW BY TOMORROW NIGHT, I'LL LEAVE YOU SUPER FEED ON THIS BLUE AND I'LL ENSURE YOU GET A SUPER OPPONENT NEXT WEEK
@Nigma |
No show
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LOL @ eel doing twists in the ocean. I really disliked that for some reason. I'm not entirely too sure why.
I like the style here, remind me of ill nik-A tbh when he was doing these type of jawns, flow is largely on point which the topical heads will enjoy - though its rough in a couple of spots like that "missing coordinates" line. Quote:
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As far as the actual topic went, I think you did well picking something very vague and open ended so you could do with it what you wanted. I think if you had picked something with like a dragon and a warrior squaring up to fight, you would have had less room to manoeuvre and it wouldn't have suited your strongpoint. I try to lean away from that when offering up topic suggestions, I like to pick some topic choices that leave it up to the reader to interpret as they will and make something from. It keeps stuff interesting. I think something the picture can dictate the way the verse HAS to go somewhat and I didn't want that to happen. It's more fun this way. Nigma is a decent topical writer and could probably have built something to the same image as you, that's why I was keen to see you face, so it's a shame he decided not to show up. You did very well. It would be interesting to see you try to write out an actual story with characters and backstory and maybe some kind of twist ending etc; I think so at least. Thanks for showing. Keep that pen moving! |
Thanks for the feed
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