Netcees - Contenders Match: Swerve (5-3) vs. Alvin Karpis (5-3)

Netcees (http://netcees.org/index.php)

- NBL Season 11: The Office (http://netcees.org/forumdisplay.php?f=244)

- - Contenders Match: Swerve (5-3) vs. Alvin Karpis (5-3) - AK WINS (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=126942)

Contenders Match: Swerve (5-3) vs. Alvin Karpis (5-3) - AK WINS

Rules

Due Dates:

Verses are due Thursday Feb 8th and will be open until Sunday.
Battles that lack votes may close later.
One sided battles may get closed early.
Extensions are 24 hours

Line Limit:

Minimum of 8, maximum of 16
If not agreed upon, second drop must match length of the first.

Check ins are encouraged but not mandatory. Also, swaying/biting/recycling is a DQ

FAILURE TO VOTE ON 3 BATTLES IS A DQ. NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE!!! YOU WILL BE DISQUALIFIED. VOTE ON 3 BATTLES OR YOU LOSE. SIMPLE!
THERE’S BEEN A LOT OF COMPLAINTS ABOUT VOTING RECENTLY, IF THERE IS SOMEONE WHO YOU DON’T WANT TO VOTE IN YOUR BATTLE YOU MUST STATE THEIR NAME IN YOUR CHECK IN. IF IT’S A CRAZY AMOUNT OF PEOPLE THEN SORRY YOU’RE JUST A BITCH AND ALL VOTES WILL COUNT. AS PER ORC

@Alvin Karpis @Swerve

@Alvin Karpis @Swerve due tonight

Gettin bodied twice this season, & yall thought this nerd was nice
It’s like Aero drivin a Zamboni.... now Swerve on Ice
Ya lil nice slash compliment battle w/ Bleak was somethin new
But you’re Canadian, so actually A LOT more for him then it was for you
It’s known I be in the club gettin pussy wet, this man isn’t fly
He in the Club Soda pressed & got all the bitches in Canada Dry
Hypocrite shit. you say you pull bitches n listen its sick
You upload dick pictures to the Cloud, & look up at clouds picturin dicks
My team stay with it, run up and they gone smoke this guy
If you come near my Proximity, Mine gonna blast quicker then Golden Eye
When they let off and go blatttt, then tell ya hold that
You’ll Parish with 2 holes in ya, that’s a Celtics throwback..

Years of texting, hall of fame, it leaves me rattling,
How much you sacrificed for battling...just to come back and lose to For Battling.
Ya girl claim she loyal, but then I hit it and she creams,
You'll see that Indian change face quicker than the Cleveland baseball team.
In fights, Karpis known to duck, he gains a yellowish pigment,
When I bring haymakers, you'll see a bail out quicker than efficient farming equipment.
This isn't anime bruh, you'll die here and see your run cease,
Call me Zoro cause when I hit you with three blades you'll be lucky to be in One Piece.
Fact is, I took everything he owns - his girl, money and house,
Ask about it, alveoli through his teeth...after I punch his lungs out his mouth.
Swerve got guns for days, I'll be deading this intrinsic lame,
Bring 30 pieces of steel and fire till he thinks I'm lighting the olympic flame.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alvin Karpis

Gettin bodied twice this season, & yall thought this nerd was nice
It’s like Aero drivin a Zamboni.... now Swerve on Ice

> I don't know what "Aero" has to do with this bar, but it was alright.

Ya lil nice slash compliment battle w/ Bleak was somethin new
But you’re Canadian, so actually A LOT more for him then it was for you

> A non-bar, but it still made me chuckle. Quite good.

It’s known I be in the club gettin pussy wet, this man isn’t fly
He in the Club Soda pressed & got all the bitches in Canada Dry

> I wasn't particularly impressed by this. Firstly, so depressed / soda pressed and variants are very played. Secondly, the wordplay doesn't quite work both ways: "He in the club soda pressed" - Doesn't sound right, does it?

Hypocrite shit. you say you pull bitches n listen its sick
You upload dick pictures to the Cloud, & look up at clouds picturin dicks

> Intuitively this seems a bit awkward to me, but it's still kind of clever, I'll give you that. A decent bar overall. I would have liked to see a relevant setup pertaining to the "clouds picturing dicks" concept but maybe that isn't really possible to work into a 2-line bar.

My team stay with it, run up and they gone smoke this guy
If you come near my Proximity, Mine gonna blast quicker then Golden Eye

> I'm not feeling this because the two meanings of the setup are too similar to each other.

When they let off and go blatttt, then tell ya hold that
You’ll Parish with 2 holes in ya, that’s a Celtics throwback..

> Sports bars usually go right over my head, so it's not surprising that this one did. Still, this is another wordplay that doesn't work both ways: "You'll Parish with 2 holes in ya" - That's not grammatically correct. Netcees as a whole needs to get a handle on this type of shit. It's like this website's zeitgeist.

Overall: A fair verse with some major slipups and lackluster bars, but also a couple of good hits. [10/20]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swerve

Years of texting, hall of fame, it leaves me rattling,
How much you sacrificed for battling...just to come back and lose to For Battling.

> Lmao. Another non-bar, but a pretty good one. I would like to have seen a scheme longer than two syllables, though.

Ya girl claim she loyal, but then I hit it and she creams,
You'll see that Indian change face quicker than the Cleveland baseball team.

> Maybe this is a personal. I don't know. Is his girl Indian? Regardless, I get the bar and it's alright, but you really need to lengthen your schemes. One syllable isn't going to cut it against anyone decent.

In fights, Karpis known to duck, he gains a yellowish pigment,
When I bring haymakers, you'll see a bail out quicker than efficient farming equipment.

> The first concept was horrid. He's known to duck, so that makes him look like a duck? When is the animal "duck" also a verb? If I say someone is known to dog, does that mean they have a tail? Garbage.

The second concept was alright though. I'm mainly just concerned about the one-word multis and the lackluster readability. I feel like the word "efficient" was unnecessary and mainly served to hamper the flow.

This isn't anime bruh, you'll die here and see your run cease,
Call me Zoro cause when I hit you with three blades you'll be lucky to be in One Piece.

> The best bar of yours so far. The relevant setup, sufficiently long scheme, and solid concept made for a pretty good result, though I do think the idea might be played. I'm not sure.

Fact is, I took everything he owns - his girl, money and house,
Ask about it, alveoli through his teeth...after I punch his lungs out his mouth.

> I don't get it. Is this supposed to be a wordplay?

Swerve got guns for days, I'll be deading this intrinsic lame,
Bring 30 pieces of steel and fire till he thinks I'm lighting the olympic flame.

> Eh, wasn't feeling this. Olympic torch bars are played out. Hell, I've used at least one myself. There were also a couple of forced aspects about this verse. First off, "intrinsic lame" isn't exactly a natural-sounding multi. Secondly, why 30 pieces of steel specifically? I did a quick check on Wikipedia and didn't see any mention of the Olympic torch-lighting ceremony involving 30 pieces of steel. Forced af unless you can prove otherwise.

Overall: Much like your opponent's verse, this one had a couple of good hits but was deeply flawed. [10/20]

A very close battle overall, but one edged it for me. MVGT: Alvin Karpis

Swerve on ice was good
Compliment was lol although not harsh
Proximity mine was ok

Vs

Lose to for battling was funny
Zoro / one piece was good
Alveoli was good (I'm sure some will say it's forced but it worked for me)

Close battle but I gotta go with swerve for having slightly harder hitting punches

V-swerve

Gettin bodied twice this season, & yall thought this nerd was nice
It’s like Aero drivin a Zamboni.... now Swerve on Ice
My team stay with it, run up and they gone smoke this guy
If you come near my Proximity, Mine gonna blast quicker then Golden Eye
When they let off and go blatttt, then tell ya hold that
You’ll Parish with 2 holes in ya, that’s a Celtics throwback..

vs

Years of texting, hall of fame, it leaves me rattling,
How much you sacrificed for battling...just to come back and lose to For Battling.
Swerve got guns for days, I'll be deading this intrinsic lame,
Bring 30 pieces of steel and fire till he thinks I'm lighting the olympic flame.

Another pretty good battle here tbh. I thought both had some bangers and what not but Al was jus a tad bit more consistent here, I think this one can go either way and it’s gonna come down to preference

Vote / Alvin Karpis

Gettin bodied twice this season, & yall thought this nerd was nice
It’s like Aero drivin a Zamboni.... now Swerve on Ice
eh
Ya lil nice slash compliment battle w/ Bleak was somethin new
But you’re Canadian, so actually A LOT more for him then it was for you
sort've
It’s known I be in the club gettin pussy wet, this man isn’t fly
He in the Club Soda pressed & got all the bitches in Canada Dry
eh alright
Hypocrite shit. you say you pull bitches n listen its sick
You upload dick pictures to the Cloud, & look up at clouds picturin dicks
lol'd to this
My team stay with it, run up and they gone smoke this guy
If you come near my Proximity, Mine gonna blast quicker then Golden Eye
nah
When they let off and go blatttt, then tell ya hold that
You’ll Parish with 2 holes in ya, that’s a Celtics throwback..
maybe

vs.

Years of texting, hall of fame, it leaves me rattling,
How much you sacrificed for battling...just to come back and lose to For Battling.
okay good
Ya girl claim she loyal, but then I hit it and she creams,
You'll see that Indian change face quicker than the Cleveland baseball team.
yes
In fights, Karpis known to duck, he gains a yellowish pigment,
When I bring haymakers, you'll see a bail out quicker than efficient farming equipment.
eh could've been better but still enjoyed the wp
This isn't anime bruh, you'll die here and see your run cease,
Call me Zoro cause when I hit you with three blades you'll be lucky to be in One Piece.
eh
Fact is, I took everything he owns - his girl, money and house,
Ask about it, alveoli through his teeth...after I punch his lungs out his mouth.
nah
Swerve got guns for days, I'll be deading this intrinsic lame,
Bring 30 pieces of steel and fire till he thinks I'm lighting the olympic flame.
ehhh

overall: definitely swerve don't know how you guys thought ak won this battle... whatever...

vote: swerve

Years of texting, hall of fame, it leaves me rattling
How much you sacrificed for battling...just to come back and lose to For Battling.
Ya girl claim she loyal but then I hit it and she creams,
You'll see that Indian change face quicker than the Cleveland baseball team.

started off strong.. never rlly fell off completely but nothin matched the openers. good shit tho

vs

Hypocrite shit. you say you pull bitches n listen its sick
You upload dick pictures to the Cloud, & look up at clouds picturin dicks
When they let off and go blatttt, then tell ya hold that
You’ll Parish with 2 holes in ya, that’s a Celtics throwback

^ I fux wit them 2 punches heavy..

real close battle I can see the votes goin either way bcuz im gonna be honest swerve was more consistent, but with just decent punches.. not rlly many gamechangers. those 2 quotes from alvin were gunsmoke.. left more of an impression on me as a voter n I cant vote against that.

vote - al

Gettin bodied twice this season, & yall thought this nerd was nice
It’s like Aero drivin a Zamboni.... now Swerve on Ice
this was cool
Ya lil nice slash compliment battle w/ Bleak was somethin new
But you’re Canadian, so actually A LOT more for him then it was for you
i liked it
It’s known I be in the club gettin pussy wet, this man isn’t fly
He in the Club Soda pressed & got all the bitches in Canada Dry
canada dry is played, but the flip here overall is meh
Hypocrite shit. you say you pull bitches n listen its sick
You upload dick pictures to the Cloud, & look up at clouds picturin dicks
nah this was gay lol
My team stay with it, run up and they gone smoke this guy
If you come near my Proximity, Mine gonna blast quicker then Golden Eye
ok
When they let off and go blatttt, then tell ya hold that
You’ll Parish with 2 holes in ya, that’s a Celtics throwback..]
i dig it, nice

Vs

Years of texting, hall of fame, it leaves me rattling,
How much you sacrificed for battling...just to come back and lose to For Battling
alright this is good.
Ya girl claim she loyal, but then I hit it and she creams,
You'll see that Indian change face quicker than the Cleveland baseball team.
ehh
In fights, Karpis known to duck, he gains a yellowish pigment,
When I bring haymakers, you'll see a bail out quicker than efficient farming equipment.
i get it but I wasn't feelin this
This isn't anime bruh, you'll die here and see your run cease,
Call me Zoro cause when I hit you with three blades you'll be lucky to be in One Piece.
alright cool
Fact is, I took everything he owns - his girl, money and house,
Ask about it, alveoli through his teeth...after I punch his lungs out his mouth.
lol nah
Swerve got guns for days, I'll be deading this intrinsic lame,
Bring 30 pieces of steel and fire till he thinks I'm lighting the olympic flame.
decent

Karp has 4 lines I liked, swerve had 3. Close battle but I have karp edging this

Vote Alvin Karpis

AK had some great set ups! Like the Canadian Dry bar. Dicks/clouds line was just plain hilarious. Swerve on Ice was alright. Boston/Throwback line was sick. Good line. Golden eye was aight. Real slick set ups and most of your verse hit hard. Nice work.

Swerve you had a good verse too. Start off with some decent wordplay on the opener(for battling/For Battling”.) Cleveland baseball team line had a decent concept around it but it wasn’t worded great and it stretched a little long than it should of. Zoro/One Piece like might be the best line in your verse . Shit was str8. Lol... alveoli bar was not what it could of been.. Olympic flame was OK.

I got this one going to Alvin K.

He was most consistent but it’s a close one regardless and both battlers came correct.

V/AK

Karpis:

Opener just ok
Compliment line is ok, not really a diss though.. it was just vaguely uncomplimentary
Soda wp is played af but that was done entertainingly nonetheless.
Clouds shit is funny af.
Golden Eye was a cool concept, but execution seemed off.
Not feeling closer.

vs

Swerve

"Leaves me rattling" is a weird setup, ruined the punch for me.
I dig the Wahoo line, but unless I know that his girl is Indian, it doesn't make sense to me. It's also another logo bar, which you drop in every battle.
Bail out is corny.
Zorro is eh.
Alveoli is bad.
ehh.

This sucked, honestly. I understand you're both in the Winter Classic and probably directed more attention towards that because you're both doper than this showing. Only line that really went connected for me was that clouds shit. That was funny.

Vote -- Alvin Karpis