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Old 03-16-2014, 05:47 PM   #6
Zen
Arm the Homeless
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,104
Battle Record: 22-24


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- Art of Writing League

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JW: Why you gotta write so damn long lol. Don't get me wrong this was very good, but allot of these parts seemed very unnecessary. Then there's the ending, if Tina loved everything you did then why'd you leave nawmsayin? Or was she a crazy stalker bitch looking for him on dating sites? Probably the latter. Still this was a very good piece of writing. Nice.

Pat: Lol this shit was hilarious. The problem with it is that the writing was just sloppy throughout. I had to go back and reread some lines a couple of times to catch the flow. Had you tightened up on the writing mechanics you would have made this a much closer match.

V/JW
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